


Do You Believe in Love?

by taeyongsan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alpha Nakamoto Yuta, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Lee Taeyong is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Matchmaking, Mpreg, Omega Lee Taeyong, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, Yes I wrote Alpha Yuta and Omega Taeyong what about it?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2020-10-19 01:26:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 151,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20648936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeyongsan/pseuds/taeyongsan
Summary: Taeyong doesn’t want to play games anymore. He wants to get married. But there is not one man in all of Tokyo that wants to marry an omega that’s as successful and independent like him. And then in walks Nakamoto-san.





	1. I Think I Could Love Someone like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware! Long note ahead.  
As stated in the tags, all the characters are aged up, but only by a little. They’re aged up by about 4-5 years. Taeyong is 30 years old and Yuta turns 30 early on in this fic. ALSO, before we proceed, I have created OCs based on real people that some NCT members are either married to/dating, and YES, they are hetero couples. I did not want to make everyone gay in this fic. I am sorry! :(
> 
> Furthermore, I always read A/B/O fics and wonder, “Well, what the fuck? How does this work in society? Why are they just always having _sex_?!” So to answer my own questions, naturally, I had to write my own entire fic to satisfy my need for a working society with A/B/O that involves history and biological explanations as to how A/B/O is possible. This does not mean I’m bashing other A/B/O fics that don’t explain the history or how A/B/O works’ that is NOT what I mean. I _love_ reading some A/B/O here on AO3, but I don’t see too many that delve into the cultural and societal workings in regards to A/B/O in a modern setting. 
> 
> To help me create my own biology system and modern society, I have used [Hells Bartender (Firebog)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firebog/pseuds/Hells%20Bartender)’s very lovely, very helpful [A/B/O: Adventures in Fake Science.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4299357/chapters/9803262). It is just great.
> 
> Fic title is taken from Waterparks’s “Dream Boy”  
Chapter title from The Aces’ “Stay”

Taeyong had been living in Tokyo for twelve years. It was not the plan he had for himself originally. When he was twenty-one, he promised his parents that he would return to South Korea and find a job at a decent company after graduation. But just as he was entering his final year of school, he was allowed to intern at a Japanese company and when he celebrated his graduation, he was offered an official position within the finance department.

He would’ve been a fool not to take it. Even though he was fresh out of university, the company was willing to pay him generously for a basic starting analyst position. Besides the executives had hinted that Taeyong could receive a promotion within the first two or three years if he met the company’s standards. He knew they were trying to get him to stay in Japan. He had mentioned his plans to one of his seniors a few months before his graduation, told him he was preparing job applications for South Korean companies.

“Ah, someone as good as you must look nice to all those companies,” he had said to Taeyong. “As expected from someone that’s graduating from Sodai in three months!”

He was offered his job three months later.

He didn’t hate it. He worked diligently and had been promoted to a directorial position in almost half the time it normally took. He stayed behind often to review the work of the groups he oversaw before going home, hours after everyone else on the floor. He’d always been someone that paid attention to the minute details in things and fixed them to perfection. His work ethic was admired by his peers, new and old, and even if some gave him backhanded compliments, Taeyong’s confidence in his work never wavered.

He knew that he was challenging the hierarchy that had been in place within the corporate warrior industry for decades and that pleased him greatly. Taeyong didn’t care that many of his male alpha-assigned colleagues looked at him with pure envy. It only drove Taeyong to work harder. Now, he was not only a foreigner, but also an omega-assigned male, and he was thriving in the Japanese white-collar world. Taeyong’s co-workers could take their fragile salarymen masculinities and use it to light a fire under their asses. Maybe then they would be able to catch up to him.

But the truth was that_ no one _could catch up to Taeyong. He was in first place, and truthfully, first place was rather lonely. The co-workers he had entered the company had grown with him but then they remained in their comfortable cubicles; Taeyong had wanted more than a cozy cube to call his own. Many of those co-workers had naturally drifted away from him, letting Taeyong go above and beyond by himself. It was only a couple of years before two new co-workers entered the company and stuck themselves to Taeyong, and they were still there beside him because they had made themselves at home in his personal life as his friends.

“We need to take care of you, Taeyong,” Johnny always told him.

Johnny had always been one of Taeyong’s dearest friends and he was the only one that didn’t need to shimmy his way into Taeyong’s affections. They had met during their first year of university. It was common for everyone to stick to people they shared similarities with, and when Taeyong ran across Johnny, he felt blessed to have someone that could speak the same language as him and who had grown up in a household similar to his. Even though Johnny’s American tendencies popped up now and then, there was no doubt that he was Korean through and through. They had graduated from Sodai together and had even lived together for a year while they got their bearings together.

It was only after they moved into their respective places and didn’t have to see each other every day that Taeyong realized how much of a necessity Johnny had been. It was true that Taeyong needed taking care of sometimes. He liked to take care of everyone around him, tending to the needs of his friends and family, and he left himself out. And it was Johnny that used to take care of him. He provided constant, reliable support and love that reminded Taeyong of his father.

Johnny always had a fathering instinct. It was something Taeyong realized right before they graduated university. He was putting it to good use these days. Johnny had easily transitioned from just being a husband to father over the last two years with the arrival of his twin girls. Moving away from each other had torn Johnny away from Taeyong, but Johnny’s marriage and now his children cut the rope completely on most days.

This was were Johnny’s_ we_ came in. _We _consisted of Johnny and the two co-workers that Taeyong couldn’t seem to shake from his shoulders. They were beloved juniors. They had entered the company around the time Taeyong had been promoted to a mid-level manager. Doyoung came first. He had graduated from Sodai as well and had been planning on going back to South Korea like Taeyong until the company offered him a job he couldn’t refuse.

Whereas Johnny had a fathering instinct, Doyoung had a mothering instinct. He was careful and precise in his work, as a true professional should be. But outside of work, Doyoung was gentle and kind, more in his actions than in his words, though his words were still mostly nice. Doyoung got into the habit of stopping by to drag Taeyong away from the work he brought home and made sure he did the things he needed to do. He nagged incessantly, in only a way Doyoung could, and Taeyong gave in to Doyoung more often than not, much to his chagrin.

But like Johnny, Doyoung was slipping away from Taeyong’s grip fast. Doyoung’s habit was hard to break but he had begun to lessen the number of times he visited over the last couple of years. Doyoung’s fiancée didn’t mind that Doyoung checked up on Taeyong often but if it continued into their married life, there could be some issues. 

And Taeyong understood that. He wasn’t a child. He was a grown man. He took care of himself when he needed to. He wasn’t completely useless and helpless when it came to self-care. He didn’t need Johnny or Doyoung to hold his hand through everything. Over the years he had learned how to stop and leave work for the office. It was only when he was focused on a goal that he overworked himself for months. But he did fall into those quite often.

Since Doyoung had begun to gradually leave Taeyong to his own devices, Doyoung had begun sending Jaehyun to check on him. Jaehyun had entered the company after Doyoung, a graduate from a university in the United States. The sound of Doyoung and Taeyong’s names was almost enough to make Jaehyun burst into tears. He had spent years away from South Korea. He had taken a job in Japan, thinking it was the closest he would ever get of coming back home. To have two Korean co-workers was enough reason for Jaehyun to force the three of them to be friends.

Jaehyun was like Taeyong’s little brother. He only had an older sister so he had always been the baby of the family. Jaehyun was an only child, however, and he gratefully accepted Doyoung and Taeyong as his older brother figures. After Taeyong introduced them to Johnny, Jaehyun had made his way into Johnny’s affections, spending more time with him than with Doyoung or Taeyong, mostly as a glorified babysitter.

As the remaining single of the group, Jaehyun had been the one that dragged Taeyong out after work on Fridays to hit up the clubs in years past. Jaehyun’s interests spanned over an entire spectrum, taking someone home on some nights out, regardless of who they were. As long as they seemed trustworthy and interesting after a few hours of talking, Jaehyun would take them home. But for Taeyong’s sake, Jaehyun always paid for their entry into the male-only bars and clubs in Ni-chome.

Going out to clubs and bars was fun for one night arrangements. Taeyong had been a little more adventurous in his early twenties, not caring much for what kind of man he slept with. But as he got older, he found himself getting pickier with the kind of man he spent the night with. It made the appeal of going out decrease drastically, and towards the end of their clubbing days, Jaehyun was the one that would leave with someone and Taeyong would just go home to his lonely apartment in Kichijoji.

It was fun when he was twenty-four. Going out with an inexperienced Jaehyun and showing him how to pick someone up within the first few hours had taken up many weekends in the past. Taeyong had been in Tokyo since he was eighteen; he had started going to clubs when he was twenty. He had many years of practice and experience under his belt. But he was past his thirtieth birthday now. While Taeyong still looked like he was a young twenty-four-year-old, he didn’t feel like one at all. Besides, the guys hitting up clubs were still kids, all of them in university and looking for a few hours of fun. Taeyong was an adult with a real job paying real bills who needed to be up early every morning. Jaehyun had come to the same realization now that he had turned twenty-eight.

These days, instead of going to clubs, Jaehyun dragged Taeyong out to go shopping in Daikanyama or to eat and drink in a private room at a nice restaurant in Ikebukuro, always paying for them without complaint. They talked over late-night snacks in the park by Taeyong’s apartment instead of getting blackout drunk in Ni-chome.

“What you need is not someone to spend the night with,” Jaehyun told him once as they ate conbini onigiri on a park bench. “You need someone to spend your life with now, hyung.”

Taeyong had only dated one girl in his life. When he was in high school, he went out with a girl from another class named Sojung. She was a pretty girl and extremely intelligent. They got together in their senior year but Taeyong broke up with her after a few months because he realized he would be leaving South Korea and he didn’t like her, as smart, nice, and cute as she was. He had quickly figured out that it was because she was a woman. He never told her the second reason though, leaving her to believe it was just because he was leaving for a few years.

Being in Japan had been liberating. Taeyong wasn’t under the watchful eye of his parents and no one knew him. He could be whoever he wanted to be in Japan. He had begun his road to self-acceptance and after his first year of university, he started going out with a guy named Fuma, who attended Keio. It was very much a “school rivals started dating” story but Taeyong truly felt right beside Fuma. He was devasted when Fuma ended their relationship after almost two years. It had been Johnny that picked up all the pieces of him and put him together again.

Since then, it had only been one night things. The breakup with Fuma had let a large fear of committed relationships. And when Taeyong hyped himself up enough to accept a date and start a relationship, it always ended a failure. When Taeyong went on real dates, his dates always found him intimidating. He was successful in life, which was great, but he was just a little _too _successful for their liking. He had gone out with alphas, betas, and omegas―they were all scared off by his successes. He was a pure omega, which was always Taeyong’s selling point, but he didn’t act the way omegas should act, according to his dates. Taeyong had a great job in a great company and lived in a great apartment in a great neighborhood. What kind of omega was he?

In Seoul, many people had thrown away the idea of stereotypical behaviors for one’s assignation. It was a face-paced city that was always modernizing itself, and the people of Seoul had greatly abandoned the idea of a hierarchy of assignations once the 21st-century began. Though still prevalent in more rural areas, many metropolitan cities were changing the way assignations were seen. Tokyo wasn’t much different. 

It wasn’t uncommon to see omegas leading large teams of people within companies, like Taeyong did, or seeing alpha parents stay behind to do the child-rearing that had been seen as something the omega had to do, which was something Johnny had done when his girls were born. Those were things of the past in cities like Tokyo and Seoul.

Yet cities like Tokyo and Seoul could never shake those beliefs away completely. The stark traditional family values remained among the higher class families. The men that Taeyong liked most came from these families. They came from families that had been graduating from schools like Keio or Sodai for generations, families that had power and influence in various corporate industries, families that had strong alpha males with beautiful omega partners. Traditional courting practices and arranged marriages for alpha sons to an omega were still popular among these elite crowds. As long as these families were there, the stereotypes would never fade away.

Taeyong’s success was a clear indicator that he was not the omega for these great, big alpha sons. And truthfully, Taeyong would rather die than be forced to give up his job and live the life of someone waiting for their alpha husband at home every day, like a good, docile omega was thought to do.

Relationships between different assignations these days were more accepted. When Taeyong’s parents had been growing up, many relationships had been looked down upon. His parents were both betas so there had been no difficulty for them, but for other friends and family members, it had been hard. 

The idea of alpha-omega relationships had reigned supreme for centuries, but this had led to higher alpha birth rates. As technology advanced, babies that were pre-screened and found to be omegas were often not given a chance at life, and when they were, they were often given away because they were undesirable children. Omega-omega relationships were seen as wrong, even being banned in some countries, and as the only type of relationship that could produce pure omegas, the birth rate of omegas from these partnerships had decreased. During that time, many of the omegas born came from beta-omega relationships and sometimes beta-beta relationships, both of which were common and accepted among society.

Now, the race for alphas of these elite families to find an omega partner to produce heirs was intense. Especially since omega-omega relationships had become widely accepted and supported by individuals and most organizations, and in Japan’s case, the government. Alphas no longer had competition in the form of betas and other alphas, but other omegas as well.

Pure omegas had once been the most undesirable kind of children, but the most desirable kind of partner. These days, pure omega children were held highly and grew up to be almost more respected than alphas had once been in the past. It was Taeyong’s selling point, being a pure omega.

Sojung had been an omega and last he heard, she was a highly praised editor at a magazine and was being flocked with proposals from every angle, but had recently accepted the proposal of her longterm partner, another omega. And Fuma had also been an omega. From what Taeyong knew, he had a great paying job and had married last year to an omega male. 

“I was lucky to find Christie,” Johnny told Taeyong shortly after he got married. “Had she married her ex-boyfriend, she would’ve married another omega.”

Taeyong could never understand the struggle of an alpha. He tried his best to sympathize with Johnny, but he would never experience it. For many years before he had met Johnny, Taeyong thought that it was what alphas deserved. It was karma for the things alphas of the past had done. But after meeting someone like Johnny, Taeyong tried his best to sympathize. Alphas like Johnny were good. However, sometimes, Taeyong still thought that it was what they deserved. When he would sit across his perfect date, he would think about it.

He hated that he had become this picky. 

Dating apps in Japan were nothing like they were elsewhere, especially in North America, where dating apps were more for hookups than for finding someone to be in a serious relationship with. The times he had signed up for a dating app, the questions had been very specific and Taeyong had answered honestly. He wanted someone with a job that paid as much as his, someone that lived in their own place, and someone that had a well-rounded education to match his own―he had no preference for assignation. And the men that he matched with were all these alphas from elite families that expected Taeyong to submit like his omega ancestors once would have. But Taeyong just wouldn’t.

He had tried. God, he tried. But after a month or two, it all became clear. Taeyong was just not the omega partner they were looking for. He was too hardworking, too powerful, too much of a leading type. He was not domestic enough, not helpless enough, not_ omega _enough.

Jaehyun told Taeyong to just let loose, but Taeyong was too old to be letting loose. It was true. He didn’t need someone to spend the night with. Taeyong needed someone to spend his life with. He hadn’t thought of it before, not until Jaehyun mentioned it.

Everyone around him was growing up. Johnny married Christie at twenty-five and now that he was thirty, he had started his own little family. Doyoung had been with Mizu-chan since they were in university and after almost a decade, they were finally going to get married. The co-workers that Taeyong had entered the company with were almost all married with one or two children already. Even Jaehyun had begun to realize that he couldn’t keep bringing strangers home for one night and was focusing on his blossoming crush on Hori-san from HR.

“You’ll find someone,” Johnny said over drinks one night. “There is someone for everyone.”

Doyoung agreed with Johnny. “There are plenty of people for everyone. It’s just a matter of finding them. Tokyo is a big city.”

Johnny nodded confidently. “It’s just a matter of finding them and settling for one,” he said.

Taeyong scrunched his nose. He rang his finger around the rim of his glass. “‘Settling for one’,” he repeated. “That sounds terrible.”

He imagined it briefly. Having to settle for one partner out the small selection pool that expected him to be a well-behaved omega. He almost shuddered.

“Use a dating app,” Jaehyun said, from beside Johnny. “Sicheng used it and met a nice guy. They’ve been together for almost a few months and are talking about getting married already.”

“I _ have _used a dating app.”

“No, but one made for marriage,” Jaehyun said. “He used one for dating with the intent to marry.”

“Sicheng did an _ omiai _?” Doyoung asked.

“It’s not an omiai,” Jaehyun huffed. “I think…”

“Matchmaking is a really good idea, though,” Johnny said. “It takes the guesswork out. Christie’s friend got married through a matchmaking agency. You should think it through. Or we can hit up some clubs next weekend for the first time in forever?”

* * *

Johnny had Christie send him the information to the matchmaking agency that her friend had used. Taeyong had researched it before applying.

It wasn’t too big, but they were big enough to have two locations: one in Tokyo and one in Kyoto. They had several matchmakers that worked for them. They claimed that 94% of couples they matched were married. They even promised that they could successfully match foreigners living in Japan, which seemed a little bold. The review page for the agency boasted four and a half stars, and many of the reviews wrote about how they had met their significant other through the agency.

_ Met my husband through here! We married after two months and are celebrating our second anniversary soon! _

_ My wife and I found each other after applying. We got along really well. We got married after six months, and we’ve been together for almost four years. _

_Boyfriend and I are planning our wedding already! We met almost four months ago and fell in love almost immediately. _

Taeyong scrolled through the reviews and even clicked through the photos that reviewers posted, most of them being selfies of them with their partner. The photos didn’t seem altered or staged.

He had applied online a few days after. The questions were personal, but he answered them honestly, knowing that it wouldn’t help his chances if he lied about himself, even if it was about his favorite color. The application also required him to send in several official documents, which he did after some hesitation. He was even more hesitant when he pulled out his card to pay for the service. It wasn’t out worldly expensive, but if this didn’t work, Taeyong wouldn’t get his money back.

Once he submitted his application, he had received a confirmation email that his profile had been successfully set up and then the next day, they had called him to set up a meeting. Taeyong scheduled it for Friday and had then called in to take the day off.

He had made his way across Tokyo to their office and entered, being greeted by a professional-looking waiting room. After telling the receptionist his name, he had been taken into an office, where his matchmaker was waiting patiently for him.

Taeyong’s profile was amazing. The matchmaker told him this when she read it over the first time. She had given him a curious look as if asking why such an amazing, well-accomplished omega was seeking the agency’s services in the first place. As she went through it the second time, she asked him some questions, providing information about herself to make Taeyong feel more at ease through the meeting. It would only take an hour or two, and then she would go and do her matchmaking magic.

She was an older woman that introduced herself as Boa. She had given a brief introduction about herself. She was thirty-eight years old and was happily married to her husband, Yunho. They had married in 2006 in their native South Korea, and they had recently celebrating nineteen years of marriage. She had been kind enough to show Taeyong pictures of her and her husband, along with their three children. Their oldest was ten years old, only a year older than Taeyong’s nephew back home.

They looked like a happy family. It also helped Taeyong become a little more comfortable around her. It made her more human in a way, and he felt less intimidated.

Instead, Taeyong began to feel comforted that he had Boa as his matchmaker. She spoke in Korean once she read that he had been born and raised there.

“It’s always nice to have someone that is Korean,” she said with a smile. “You wrote that you’ve been in Tokyo since 2013?”

“I have been,” Taeyong confirmed. “I came here for school and decided to stay after I graduated. I applied for permanent residence right before I started my job and received my citizenship a bit after.”

“Yunho and I moved here in 2012, so we’ve been here only a little longer than you have,” she said. “Do you miss South Korea?”

“Sometimes,” he replied. “It’s mostly my family I miss.”

Boa smiled at him sweetly. “You must be close to your family then.”

Taeyong hummed. “I’ve always been close to my sister. She’s seven years older than me, but it’s never felt like that. And I’m close to my parents as well.”

“They know that you like men?”

It was an unexpected question and Taeyong hesitated.

He _had _told his family about Fuma. It had been a serious relationship, after all. But Taeyong never properly ‘came out’ to them. He never had the opportunity to sit face-to-face with his parents and his sister to tell them that he was interested in men. But when he told them about Fuma, they had never asked for clarification or seemed to want it. They didn’t have a problem with Fuma being a man, so he figured it was fine. They knew; they understood.

“I told them about my last serious ex-boyfriend,” Taeyong answered, not knowing how to explain.

Boa was reading his profile once more. She didn’t ask more about his family and if they knew he was gay. “You graduated from Waseda University?”

“Economics,” Taeyong replied. “Nearly top of the class.”

“That’s impressive. I didn’t go to college, but Yunho did. He went twice actually, once for his bachelor’s and then for his masters,” she said with a soft laugh. “He graduated from Myongji and Chungwoon.”

“That’s amazing,” he said.

The meeting went on like that. 

Boa was a kind woman and wasn’t judgemental at all at the things Taeyong had written in his profile. She confirmed all of his information and then asked him questions about some things, mostly to get his thoughts and opinions on them. There were some normal question and a few odd questions, but he replied to them all without much hesitation. She took note of his answers on her computer, nicely manicured nails tapping away quickly, and occasionally, she wrote them his answers right on the printed version of his profile with a bright red pen. 

Taeyong supposed it would help her understand him a little bit more so he tried to be as honest as he could. As terrifying as it was to bare his heart and soul to anyone, Boa seemed trustworthy so Taeyong felt a little more comfortable.

“Well, Taeyong,” she sighed after almost two hours, “I’m afraid that’s all the time we have today. Once we have a match for you, I’ll give you a call and we can begin preparing to set up the first meeting.”

* * *

Taeyong was meeting with one of the accounts managers when the call came through two weeks later. He let it go to voicemail and focused on the reports that the teams had come up with. The sight of Boa’s name across his screen was almost enough for him to delete the voicemail and forget about it altogether, but when Taeyong caught sight of Doyoung at his desk after his meeting, he knew he had to listen to the voicemail. His friends were waiting for good news.

Since it had been two weeks, Taeyong had lost hope. Perhaps, he thought, Boa wasn’t able to find a match for him. The reviews of the agency said that they received matches within the first few days, but it had been two weeks. It was a good reason to lose hope.

Johnny had been optimistic. He had been the one that recommended the agency after asking Christie about it. Christie herself had called Taeyong and boasted about how her friend had gotten married after being matched there. Another one of her friends was engaged to someone they met there. It worked, she promised.

Jaehyun had also been optimistic. Sicheng, one of Jaehyun’s closest friends and his connection to Hori-san from HR, had been matched through a matchmaking app, so a real-life matchmaking agency would work for Taeyong and his unrealistic, high expectations.

Only Doyoung had been a little suspicious about it. Taeyong had _paid_ _money_ to use their services and it was non-refundable money. He was afraid that Taeyong had been robbed, scammed by the sweet Boa and her colleagues. If it turned out to be true, Doyoung promised that Mizu-chan knew a few guys he could meet.

“Don’t listen to Doyoung. Just give it time,” is what Taeyong’s sister had said.

He had called her after his meeting with Boa. He made her promise not to tell their parents, which she hadn’t. Since then, she had been sending him messages and calling him, asking him for updates.

“I’m sure there is someone,” she said one night. “There has to be someone, right?”

Taeyong knew his sister was nervous.

Their parents had given birth to a beta daughter. She had grown up, gotten married at the prime age of twenty-five, and had her two kids before the age of thirty. If she wanted another child, there was no issue. Taeyong’s sister would be able to have children until she reached her mid-forties. It would be dangerous and she probably wouldn’t, but it could happen if she wanted it to.

It was the omega son that their parents were worried about. It wouldn’t be a problem if Taeyong married a woman but because he liked men, any children that came from his relationship would be coming from him, and male omegas had more fertility issues later in life compared to a female omega. Taeyong would need to have children before he reached his mid-thirties or he would struggle to have children of his own.

It was a fear that Taeyong always had but as an adult, it was even more terrifying. He wanted to give his parents grandchildren before it was too late. He didn’t want his sister to be the only one to give them grandchildren. And more than that, Taeyong wanted to have his children, made of him and his partner.

He needed good news from Boa.

Taeyong sat in his office, the door closed and locked. He unlocked his phone and then opened up the voicemail. He put his phone up to his ear.

“Hello, Taeyong,” the voicemail started. It was Boa’s gentle voice, and so far there was no indication that something was wrong. “I have good news for you―” A sigh a relief escaped Taeyong’s lips, “―I’m very pleased to inform you that we have found two matches for you. Before the initial meetings, we must review the profiles and then you can decide if you want to proceed with the meetings. You can schedule a meeting with me at any time. Thank you so much for using Be the One. I look forward to hearing from you.”

The voicemail ended with a click and Taeyong all but melted in his seat. He dropped back into the seat, hand dropping into his lap. Not one, but two matches for him. His great, big selection pool of people to spend his life with was comprised of _two _people.

Taeyong put his phone on his desk and stood to unlock his office door. He went back to his desk and opened a new tab in his browser. He typed in the URL of the agency and clicked on the ‘Login’ button.

An automatic online profile had been created when he signed up. It had most of his information on it, only the real personal information was omitted. It was mostly for his viewing since one could not view other profiles on the website. There was a ‘Schedule a Meeting’ button and it brought him to another page with a form to fill out.

Boa was automatically assigned as his matchmaker. He simply filled out the date and time of when he wanted the meeting to be. He submitted it and then both his computer and his phone pinged with the email confirmation of his meeting.

He signed out of the website, cleared his browser for safety, and then got up from his desk.

He had good news to deliver to his friends.

* * *

Jaehyun was pleased to hear the news and even Doyoung, as suspicious as he had been, congratulated Taeyong.

“I’m not getting married yet,” Taeyong sniffed. He took a bite of his onigiri. “I still have to see if I want to meet the guys.”

“But it’s exciting!” Doyoung exclaimed, giving Taeyong a light punch on the shoulder. “I thought you were scammed for sure, but it seems legitimate now. Besides, the point of this matchmaking agency is to get married. Four months from now, we’ll be attending your wedding to one of these guys. You’re going to be married before Mizuho and me.”

“Do you think you’ll marry one of the two?” Jaehyun asked.

Taeyong sighed. “I don’t know,” he said dejectedly. “That’s the hope, isn’t it? Unless the guy I choose turns out to be an asshole, I don’t care if we’re a perfect match, then no, I’m not marrying him.”

“Four months,” Doyoung repeated. “It will be four months from now.”

“I say one year,” Jaehyun countered. “Taeyong-hyung is someone that needs to get to know someone. He didn’t even let me eat lunch with him until I had been here for nine months and even then, he didn’t consider us friends! He needs much more time if he wants this guy to be his _ husband_.”

Doyoung and Jaehyun continued to wager on how long it would take for Taeyong to decide if he would marry one of his matches.

Taeyong didn’t offer his guess, but he felt like it would be more than four months but less than a year. He didn’t know why. He just felt it.

* * *

“Natsuki-chan!” Taeyong exclaimed, tickling the sides of the small infant in front of him. She giggled cutely, making Taeyong smile wide. “Natsuki-chan!”

“I truly hope that you like one of these guys,” Johnny was saying to him. “But if the agency matched you, then you must be compatible enough that you’ll like each one at least a little, right?”

Taeyong brought the infant up into his arms, cradling her against his chest. Opposite him, Johnny did the same with an infant identical to the one in Taeyong’s arms. While Natsuki was calm in Taeyong’s arms, Kahi seemed to be set on causing a ruckus for her dad.

Johnny cooed at her, bringing the tip of the bottle to her lips. It took a moment, but once Kahi latched on, she seemed content. Taeyong picked up the second bottle and brought it to Natsuki’s lips. The baby girl began eating earnestly, trying to hold the bottle by herself.

They both sat on the sofa. It had been a new sofa three years ago, when Johnny and Christie first moved in, but it had quickly taken the toll of newborn twin girls that didn’t know they couldn’t poop, pee, and throw up on the couch. The stains had been mostly cleaned out and there were only a few suspicious stains nowadays.

Johnny sighed. “I do hope you find someone you like, Taeyong,” he said. 

He peered down at Kahi in his arms. Johnny always had a soft love-stricken look when he looked at one of the twins. He didn’t even look at Christie that way―she received a different love-stricken look, but it just couldn’t match the way Johnny looked at his daughters. Natsuki and Kahi were his pride and joy, even though they couldn’t do much yet at ten months-old. Johnny boasted about the oddest things that the girls managed to do, and maybe Taeyong didn’t understand it now, but he hoped he would be able to in a few years. He hoped he could have something close to what his best friend had.

“I hope I do,” Taeyong replied, answering both Johnny and the small voice in his mind.

The meeting was tomorrow. It was a Friday and already after seven, so he had left work. He had left his unfinished reports in his office for the night. They could wait until Monday, even if Taeyong did feel a little antsy about not having them finished yet.

He had contemplated going back tonight to get them but Johnny had called him before he could decide. Christie was having a girls’ night out with her friends after work and Johnny needed the company of another adult to keep him from boredom after the twins went to sleep. Jaehyun was unavailable so Taeyong had been Johnny’s second choice.

Taeyong loved visiting Johnny in his large apartment. He lived in Hatsudai, a very family-friendly neighborhood, and even though Taeyong used to hate the amount of time it took him to travel from Kichijoji to Hatsudai, seeing not only Johnny and Christie but Natsuki and Kahi as well, made it all worth it.

In Japan, Johnny and his family were Taeyong’s family.

Both of them watched the variety show that was playing while the girls drank their bottles. They laughed at the comedian’s gags or commented on the topic at hand now and then, but said little else. It was calming and comfortable to sit without speaking to each other, which was something that was a result of years of being friends.

After about half an hour, the girls had both fallen asleep.

As Taeyong followed Johnny into the bedroom and put Natsuki in her portable bassinet beside Johnny and Christie’s bed, he wondered if he could have something like this himself one day. Johnny kissed both girls on their heads, made sure the baby monitor was on and dragged Taeyong back out to watch a movie.

“The girls will wake up in about two hours, so we might as well try to get as far as we can before they do!” he exclaimed as he began looking for a movie on Netflix.

In the past, Johnny had been a very nonchalant person. He had been the person that went with the flow. But Johnny now was always on a tight schedule at home with Christie, both of them trying to squeeze basic things like eating and showering in between diaper changing, feeding, and giving love and affection to two little girls. Johnny always made it look so easy. Fatherhood was a good look on him. Christie had joked once that seeing Johnny in Papa Mode would result in them having even more kids.

They all admired Papa Johnny. Jaehyun always said Johnny was amazing and that he would never be able to handle it himself. Doyoung said he wanted to have a life like Johnny’s.

Taeyong couldn’t help but look at his friend and think that he wanted a life like Johnny’s, too. 

Johnny had met Christie, fallen in love with her, and married her after two years of dating. He had settled into the domestic marriage life and it just fit Johnny somehow. Johnny fit the coming home after work and cooking for his wife with an apron in the kitchen life, the planning home dates because they’ve gone on every date possible life, paying bills and planning for the future life. And after the twins were born, Johnny had only gotten better, making a smooth transition into the parent life with Christie by his side.

More than ever, Taeyong wanted something like that with someone at his side.

* * *

The initial meeting was scheduled for Saturday in the late morning. Through Boa, they had decided on meeting at a park that was halfway between where they lived. They would be able to decide what to do from there.

Taeyong had been a little apprehensive at first. When he met with Boa, he quickly realized that he had matched with the same kind of guys he always did.

The first guy was a 97% march, which Boa said was high. They had seen such numbers before, she reassured, but it was no too common and overall, really impressive. Even if it was impressive, Taeyong hadn’t bothered to remember his name. A quick look at his profile was enough for Taeyong to decline any meeting with him.

The second guy was an 82% match. Boa had said it was around the average percent for most couples. Taeyong had been unsure.

Nakamoto Yuta. He was the same age as Taeyong, just a few months younger. He was born and raised in Osaka to a good family that had some influence there. He had graduated from Kyoto University, meaning he beat Taeyong in terms of education, but he had chosen to become a junior high teacher. It was a high-ranking, private junior high school, but still, he was a teacher.

It wasn’t like Taeyong had anything against his occupation but Taeyong figured it was that bit that brought their compatibility down. As a teacher. Nakamoto-san made less than Taeyong did as a financial director for a big company. Had Nakamoto-san another job, especially in the white-collar industry, their compatibility would be higher.

Still, the man earned enough to match the rest of Taeyong’s expectations. Nakamoto-san lived in a good neighborhood by himself and was relatively successful in every aspect of his life.

From the intense health history Boa showed him, he seemed to be even healthier than Taeyong was. He was an active man, managing the school’s soccer teams as head coach and helping out with a small dance club. Nakamoto-san had been playing soccer since he was a child and had even been considered for the national team after playing all through university. He had taken up dance as a teenager, but he hadn’t done much with it except run the small club at his school now. It was astounding. Taeyong had been a dancer, but he had been forced to give it up. He suffered some minor back pains nowadays, a sign that he truly was getting older. His pains weren’t part of a condition, but it was still something to consider on his profile. Yet the fact that this man was able to do all that almost every day every week… Taeyong needed to get exercising once again.

Nakamoto-san was also handsome. A professional headshot was a requirement for the profile, and additional pictures were optional but strongly recommended. Taeyong had submitted the one that he used for his updated ID badge for work and a few other selfies that showcased his best angles. He thought he looked nice, but after seeing Nakamoto-san’s photos, Taeyong wondered if Nakamoto-san was perhaps too good looking for someone like him.

Nakamoto-san had long, black hair that framed his face nicely. It wasn’t too long, and Taeyong wondered how he managed to get away with it. If Taeyong ever dared have hair that long, he would get reprimanded by his superiors. It somehow suited Nakamoto-san though. Taeyong couldn’t see him with anything else.

The man also had a very pretty smile. He was smiling wide in one of his photos. His eyes turned into small crescents on his face and he had faint dimples on both of his cheeks. The smile lines around his mouth were prominent but they made him look even more charming.

Taeyong had almost lost his breath when he saw Nakamoto-san. He had been able to control himself, which he was thankful for because he was in front of Boa. He hadn’t done anything embarrassing but Taeyong had an inkling that Boa knew how attractive Taeyong thought Nakamoto-san was.

In his message to Taeyong, Nakamoto-san had been very kind, and Taeyong felt it was almost impossible to not want to get to know him.

_ Lee Taeyong-san, I look forward to meeting you! I’m very, very excited. _

Taeyong had surprised with the rest of the message, but he was intrigued by it. Boa knew that as well.

_ I spent two years in South Korea and studied Korean very intensely in university. Perhaps we can share some stories! I would love to hear from you and your childhood in such a lovely country. I know a very lovely restaurant the serves some of the best Korean food in Tokyo. Let me take you some time. _

He hoped that Nakamoto-san would take him today.

Taeyong had gotten to the park a few minutes before the scheduled meeting time. He walked around the park, observing the people that were walking around. Parents with their children at the playground and couples walking down the dirt paths that crossed through the park. It was like any other day at the park.

It was a typical September day and the weather was fantastic for a date. It was cool enough that he could dress for fall. Taeyong hadn’t dressed up too much, but he had put some effort into his outfit. He had chosen some jeans he knew fit him fell and a new burgundy sweater he had purchased recently. Johnny and Doyoung had given him their approval even, though Taeyong probably would’ve worn it without their approval.

There weren’t many occasions where Taeyong dressed like this. His job required business attire and if he did anything before or after work, he would still be wearing his work clothes. On weekends, Taeyong stayed in his pajamas or something more comfortable. It had been a while since he planned a look to go out like this.

Taeyong sat on a small bench, pulling the sleeves of his sweater over his hands. He took in the several trees and plants that surrounded him. Summer was transitioning into fall now. It wouldn’t be long before the trees lost all their leaves and the flowers withered away.

He sighed, wondering if such a drastic transition would happen in his life.

Taeyong did want to get married, but he wondered if this was the way for him to do it. His friends were supportive and his sister also encouraged him, yet he felt like matchmaking was not the right decision. Perhaps he should’ve stuck to meeting people the traditional way.

His co-workers held group dates often. If he could just get in on them…

“Lee Taeyong-san?”

Taeyong almost jumped from the bench. He gathered himself quickly and looked at the man.

Nakamoto-san.

He was even more handsome in real life. He was dressed in jeans and a patterned shirt tucked into the front of his jeans. Despite the boldness of the shirt, it worked well and Taeyong felt himself at a loss for words.

“Yes,” he finally said. He stood up and bowed respectfully. “I’m Lee Taeyong. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Nakamoto-san smiled, and Taeyong felt his heart stutter. “The pleasure is all mine. I’m Nakamoto Yuta.”

They stood there, looking at each other for a few seconds.

“Well, would you like to walk around the park? It’s a little too early for lunch still.” 

Taeyong was flustered. “I, I would love that.”

Nakamoto-san motioned to the path and they both began walking, side by side. Taeyong was nervous, but he hoped Nakamoto-san couldn’t tell. The scents of the various plants around them and even the people would be enough to cover up anything Taeyong was giving off. He knew it would be enough because he couldn’t smell anything Nakamoto-san was giving off.

“So, you’re a director at a tech company?” Nakamoto-san asked after a few moments of silent walking. He held his hands behind his back. He looked at taeyong for a moment but then looked around the park, gazing up at the tall trees. He returned his gaze to Taeyong. “How is that?”

“I’m in finance,” Taeyong said, embarrassed. Nakamoto-san already knew this information. It was part of Taeyong’s profile. “I don’t do anything with the actual products the company develops and sells.”

Nakamoto-san let out a laugh. Taeyong felt himself blush despite himself. The sound was soft, and Nakamoto-san threw his head back a little, eye closing. “I could never be in such a job. My father is a chief at a company. High up and powerful… He said he could get me a job there, but I can’t do office work.”

“You’re a teacher.” It wasn’t a question.

“I’m a teacher,” Nakamoto-san repeated. “I teach ethics. It was my favorite subject when I was in school.”

“You also do a lot of stuff outside of teaching,” Taeyong said carefully.

“I do,” Nakamoto-san replied. He sent a smile Taeyong’s way. “I became the soccer coach during my first year. The dance club started later when a group of students approached me and asked me if I could be their advisor. You danced as well?”

“Until my third year of university,” Taeyong answered shyly. He could feel himself giving off all sorts of pheromones, and he hoped that Nakamoto-san, or anyone else around them for that matter, couldn’t smell them. “I began getting back pains so I had to stop.”

“That’s unfortunate,” Nakamoto-san said with a click of his tongue. “I was hoping I’d be able to see you dance one day.”

“What?” Taeyong gaped a little.

Nakamoto-san laughed again. “No, no, I mean…” He smiled and then looked at the ground, shaking his head. “Well, it was silly… nevermind that.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t silly, Nakamoto-san,” Taeyong said. His name sounded a little awkward coming from his mouth but saying it felt right. It rolled right off his tongue.

“Please,” Nakamoto-san said, holding up a hand. “There’s no need to be too formal. We’re the same age after all.”

Taeyong felt his cheeks warm. “No, it’s… Nakamoto-san, please allow me to…”

“Then what should I call you? Lee-san, or… Taeyong-san?”

Taeyong’s name sounded wonderful coming from Nakamoto-san’s mouth. Taeyong found himself liking it too much. “Taeyong,” he said dumbly. He cleared his throat and stood up a little straighter. “Taeyong is fine.”

“Well, then Taeyong-san, where would you like to go for lunch after our walk through the park?”

* * *

Nakamoto-san smelled wonderful. 

Taeyong was able to finally get his scent once they were settled at their booth at a small ramen shop.

It was a spicy scent, something like cinnamon, with something woody, like pine, but it also had a certain sweetness to it that Taeyong really couldn’t pinpoint with just smelling. It was not what he expected Nakamoto-san to smell like, but somehow it suited him.

Taeyong wondered if Nakamoto-san had picked up on his scent. He had always been told that he had a light and fresh citrusy scent, something akin to grapefruit or tangerine, with something floral underneath. He was a summer child after all.

His friends had told him that his scent made him feel less intimidating. He was light and fresh, like his scent. It was comfortable and soothing, like a nice summer day. Taeyong never did anything to hide his scent because of this.

Nakamoto-san’s scent, and perhaps Taeyong’s as well, vanished when the server brought their ramen. Taeyong had never visited this restaurant, but the food looked great.

“It’s the best,” Nakamoto-san said as if he had read Taeyong’s mind. “This place is the best in this part of Tokyo.”

“I’m glad you brought me here,” Taeyong said. He brought some noodles to his mouth, blowing on them before he put them in his mouth. They were certainly some of the best noodles he’d had in a while. He spooned some broth up and took a small sip from his spoon. He let out a small sound of surprise. “This is delicious.”

Nakamoto-san smiled. “I’m very glad you like it. Maybe we can come here next time as well.”

“Next time?”

“If there is a next time?”

Taeyong let himself smile. “Of course.” He busied himself with spooning some more broth up to avoid looking at Nakamoto-san. “Next time.”

They ate quietly for a few moments, enjoying the ramen.

Despite the silence, Taeyong felt rather comfortable. It was unusual for him to feel so at ease around a new person. Perhaps it was the location and the time of day. He didn’t typically eat ramen in the middle of the day for a date. But then again, perhaps it was Nakamoto-san.

For the hour that they had been together already, Nakamoto-san had never once made Taeyong feel uncomfortable. He was respectful in his questions. He had been amazed by Taeyong’s achievements, congratulating him, and even telling him that he would be able to achieve even more.

Nakamoto-san was not frightened by Taeyong’s achievements. Unlike any other man, Taeyong had gone on a date with, Nakamoto-san was rather supportive of Taeyong’s work. They didn’t even know each other, but they knew the end goal of their meeting.

But it was too good to be true. Nakamoto-san seemed to check off every box on Taeyong’s list of expectations. It couldn’t be possible that they were only an 82% match.

It didn’t feel like an 82% match at all.

Taeyong wondered if Nakamoto-san felt that as well.

“Taeyong-san,” Nakamoto-san said, catching his attention. “You’re a pure omega, but your parents are both betas. How is that?”

No, Taeyong thought. And he was doing so well!

Taeyong cleared his throat. “Both of my parents are omega recessive,” he said simply. “I suppose I hit the lottery there, didn’t I?”

Nakamoto-san’s face fell. “Taeyong-san, I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I apologize. That question was out of line. I shouldn’t have asked. Really, I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Taeyong said. “It’s something interest. How do two betas have a pure omega? I get asked all the time.”

“I shouldn’t have asked, even if it’s a question you get frequently,” Nakamoto-san said. He looked apologetic. “I could’ve figured it out myself. I mean, I’m a pure alpha and my parents are both betas as well… It’s the same thing.”

Taeyong was surprised. He tried not to show it on his face.

Not only was Nakamoto-san’s mother was a beta, but his father was as well. It wasn’t rare for pure alphas to come from two betas, but it wasn’t all too common anymore. More often than not, betas carried an omega recessive gene. To have a beta carry an alpha recessive gene was less likely nowadays. And then for that beta to partner with another beta with an alpha recessive gene… 

“I hit the lottery there, didn’t I?” Nakamoto-san asked with an embarrassed smile.

Taeyong couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m, I’m sorry, Nakamoto-san,” he said in between his chuckles. “It’s not―” Taeyong tried to compose himself, but was stuck stifling back his laughs, “―It’s not something to laugh at.”

“No, it’s funny. It is,” Nakamoto-san said, laughing along. “My parents never knew what to do with me growing up. It was chaos. Of course, their only son would be born pure alpha.”

“My parents were the same,” Taeyong confessed with a small smile. “Seven years of raising a beta daughter, and then… surprise, an omega son!”

Nakamoto-san laughed, and Taeyong felt something warm bloom in his chest at the sight across him.

Maybe it wasn’t the worst idea, having signed up for the matchmaking agency.

* * *

“I had a very lovely time, Taeyong-san,” Nakamoto-san said as they returned to the park they met at.

“I did, too,” Taeyong admitted. “Thank you again for offering to pay.”

“It was no problem,” Nakamoto-san said with a wave of his hand. “Next time, you can pick up the bill for us.”

“Next time,” Taeyong repeated.

“Should we plan it now?”

Taeyong smiled. “I have your contact,” he said. “I’ll check my schedule and then send you a message.”

Nakamoto-san smiled. “Of course.”

They stood there for a moment, just smiling at each other like fools.

“Well, I have to…” Nakamoto-san motioned to the park exit, “...if I want to catch the train back home.”

“No, of course,” Taeyong said with a silly smile. “I, I have to go, too.”

A pause. A smile on Nakamoto-san’s face. Taeyong could kiss him. He could kiss this man before him and he had only known him for three hours.

Taeyong took a deep breath.

And there it was. Nakamoto-san’s comforting scent. There was also something else there. Taeyong couldn’t pinpoint it, but apart from Nakamoto-san’s scent, there was another thing, buried deep underneath the spicy, woody scent.

“Well, I’ll wait for your message,” Nakamoto-san said finally after a long minute. He back to walk away. He looked over his shoulder and waved. Taeyong waved back.

As he turned around to go through the other exit, he realized. He stopped in his tracks.

Taeyong had been smelling Nakamoto-san’s pheromones. Nakamoto-san was attracted to him.

He really should’ve kissed Nakamoto-san.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always told myself I would never write an ABO fic... and here we are! I love this for myself.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated :] This work is only sllightlyyy edited by me. I will probably come back and fix minor things in the future when I feel like it...


	2. Won’t You Come and Hold Me Close Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all. I have written about three detailed sex scenes in the last week and I feel... amazed and also disturbed that I was able to do that without feeling like dying. That said, I am really bad at writing them!
> 
> Chapter title from The Regrettes’s “California Friends”

Taeyong was not going to tell anyone how his date with Nakamoto-san had gone. 

Doyoung had been the most insistent, bugging him about it on Monday, from the moment he arrived at the office until lunch. Taeyong had been freed from Doyoung’s pestering when Jaehyun dragged him away to meet Hori-san, who had finally accepted Sicheng’s invitation for lunch with the unknown Doyoung and Jaehyun from the finance department.

Johnny had sent Taeyong a text on Sunday night, asking how it went, but Taeyong had replied with a big X emoji, and Johnny had left it at that. He knew that Taeyong would tell him when he was ready.

Taeyong wanted to tell his friends, but he wasn’t sure what to say. He had a great time with Nakamoto-san. He was a good, respectable man, and he was really sweet, not to mention extremely handsome… and would Taeyong’s friends be okay with hearing him go on and on like a high school student in love?

It wasn’t in Taeyong’s nature to fawn over people. It was freaking him out.

So naturally, he called his sister. He decided to do it Monday night when he arrived from work. He had managed to talk to her for a few minutes before he had heard the phone fall onto the floor. His niece had picked it up and began to try to talk to him.

“Jinhee, please pass the phone back to your mama,” Taeyong said gently. His niece said something unintelligible but he heard the phone being passed around. “Sis?”

“I’m here, Taeyong,” came his sister’s voice. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Taeyong replied. “Jinhee’s not asleep yet?”

“She took a long nap after school and won’t sleep now,” his sister said. She sounded a little irritated and a little tired. She let out a sigh. “Anyway, how did it go? Your date?”

“My date…”

“Taeyong,” she whined. She let out a small scoff right after, and Taeyong could imagine her rolling her eyes. “God, I can’t believe I’m begging you to tell me about your date like I’m your high school friend. I’m your sister and I am thirty-seven years old for crying out loud, Taeyong. Just tell me about your date.”

“He’s nice,” Taeyong said. He knew his sister was waiting for more, but he didn’t know where to start. “I don’t know!” he exclaimed, feeling himself blush. “I don’t know… I had a great time, I guess. We walked through the park and then he took me to a ramen place, and that was it. I don’t know what to tell you…”

“You like him!” His sister’s loud laugh sounded through his phone and Taeyong groaned, dropping his head until it almost hit his dining table. “This is so cute! When are you meeting him next?”

“I don’t know. We didn’t schedule the next meeting yet,” Taeyong said. He continued before his sister could interrupt. “I mean, am I supposed to go back to the agency and do it through there? I have his number but I’m not sure if we’re supposed to meet on our own after the first time or schedule it through there.”

His sister hummed on the other end. “You can ask,” she offered. “It’s the most obvious thing to do, I know, but they probably want you to rate their service and your overall experience.”

“I’ll have to do that,” Taeyong said.

“But about this guy!” his sister exclaimed, bringing the conversation back to where Taeyong didn’t want it. “Is he tall? Handsome? Built? What does he work in? Oh! Did he try to kiss you?”

Kiss him. Did Nakamoto-san try to kiss him?

Taeyong sighed.

“No, but he should’ve,” he said glumly.

His sister let out a shout of surprise on the other end and Taeyong wanted to remind her that she was thirty-seven years old, but he didn’t. He let her get it out of her system.

“He…” His sister trailed off. In the background, Taeyong heard the familiar voice of his brother-in-law. His sister said something to him. Taeyong waited. A moment later, his sister returned. “You’re on speaker. Minho says hi.”

“Hi, Minho-hyung,” Taeyong said. He heard his brother-in-law’s faint reply and then the sound of his sister tapping on her phone.

“Okay, off speaker now. What was I going to ask?” Taeyong waited, listening to her hum as she tried to remember. “Oh! What did he smell like? You said he was an alpha, did he smell like… well, you know?”

“That’s a stereotype.”

“So he didn’t!” He could hear her trying to hold back her laughter. “So? What did he smell like then?”

“Like… spicy and… pine,” Taeyong answered slowly. He let out a big huff when his sister burst into giggles. Even though she couldn’t see him, he hid his warm face under his hand. “Why am I even telling you this? This is embarrassing!”

She stopped laughing and took a deep breath. Taeyong waited patiently. “Listen,” she started, “You never told me about Fuma! Before him, you used to tell me on all the crushes you thought you had on girls, and then after him, you didn’t tell me anything. I want to know all about this guy and be the one that knows it before everyone else!”

“You’re nosey,” Taeyong said.

“I’m your older sister, it is my right!” She let out another warm laugh, and Taeyong let himself join in after a moment. She let out a long sigh and Taeyong knew that the end of their phone call was coming soon. “Well, I hope to hear from this guy soon! Please take care, Taeyong.”

“You, too,” Taeyong answered. “I’ll call you soon. Give my niece and nephew a kiss for me.”

“Of course,” she answered. “Goodnight.”

The call cut then and Taeyong sighed. He set his phone down on his table, screen down, and hesitated.

A minute later, he had it back in his hand and he was typing a new message. He hit send before he could think too much of it.

* * *

Taeyong smelled Doyoung before he heard or saw him. A familiar scent permeated through his office the moment the door opened. It smelled like clean laundry and lavender, masked over by Doyoung’s favorite cologne. 

“Taeyong,” he heard from behind him. “Let’s go to lunch.”

He didn’t move though. Not even when Doyoung appeared in front of him, hands on his hips and a frown on his face. Taeyong continued reading the unofficial financial report in his hands, mouthing the words as he went. He had his pen in hand, ready to mark up the paper with corrections for the team to go over.

“C’mon,” Doyoung said, leaning on Taeyong’s desk. “Jaehyun is having lunch with Hori-san and her friends. We’re invited.”

“I can’t,” Taeyong answered. He set down the paper in his hands and looked up at Doyoung. “I can’t join you for lunch today.”

“You can’t work through lunch!” Doyoung exclaimed, already trying to grab at the report.

“I’m having lunch with Nakamoto-san,” Taeyong said, pulling the piece of paper to his chest. “I’m going to finish reading this and then go to the station. We’re going to meet each other halfway and have lunch.”

Doyoung stopped, frozen over Taeyong’s desk. He stood up straight and smoothed down the front of his shirt. “Well,” he said calmly, clearing his throat. “You could’ve led with that. Where are you going?”

“I’m not telling you,” Taeyong answered. He looked at the report again, frowning at all of his markups.

“Fine,” Doyoung said. “I’m going to sit through lunch with Jaehyun making eyes at Hori-san while you go on a date with your boyfriend.”

“We’re not boyfriends,” Taeyong replied. “And it’s not a date. It’s just lunch.”

Doyoung scowled. “That’s what they all say.”

Taeyong eyed Doyoung, who simply huffed and walked away.

“Enjoy your lunch date!” he heard before the door to his office closed.

It was not a lunch date. Taeyong had invited Nakamoto-san to lunch in a friendly manner. He had no other intentions. Nakamoto-san had agreed after checking his schedule, and they had set up a meeting in a very public, very busy place. It was not a date.

Taeyong repeated this as he finished reading the report and dropped it off at the team leader’s desk, with a note on fixing it before the end of the week. He collected his belongings and left the office building, walking down the street to the station.

The station was busy, but not overwhelming at midday. Various sounds and scents hit Taeyong’s senses and he took a deep breath, taking it all in. It wasn’t long before he was able to board the train and all the smells and sounds were amplified, all crowded into the small space.

It was a twenty-minute ride to the place they decided to meet up at and Taeyong used the opportunity to check his emails on his phone, making note of which ones he had to reply to first thing when he got back. He played a game once that was done, focusing on the game but also listening intently to the stops being announced.

Nearing his stop, a strange scent hit Taeyong. He looked up and around but saw nothing out of the ordinary. The train wasn’t too full, but most of the seats were taken and several people had to stand in the middle.

It was that smell. The one that set off every single alarm in Taeyong’s head. He turned around to look behind him and finally saw it. The more he focused on it, the more he could gather. There was not one scent, but two, and they were very distinct. A chill went down Taeyong’s spine.

He carefully pocketed his phone and moved down the train and slipped himself in between two young men. The young man in front of him looked back at him, eyes wide and filled with surprise. He looked young and he was shorter than Taeyong by a few centimeters. He couldn’t be older than twenty.

“Are you all right?” Taeyong asked quietly.

The young man nodded. 

Taeyong let himself relax and remained still in the small space. The man behind him moved closer and Taeyong could feel him nearly press himself against his back. Taeyong took a deep breath and closed his eyes, counting in his head, ignoring what was going on.

He felt the man behind him try to push his aside, but Taeyong stood his ground. He tried to elbow the man behind him but felt a hand wrap around his arm. Taeyong took another deep breath.

“Sir,” he said firmly, not looking back. “If you could let me go.”

The man didn’t speak, but Taeyong felt him tighten his grip. He tried to pull his arm out of his grasp but couldn’t.

A large wave of pheromones hit him and he heard the man make a low sound in the back of his throat. Taeyong blinked a few times. He felt another chill go down his spine and his stance relaxed a little, but he quickly straightened up again, trying to not be affected by it.

He finally yanked his arm out of the man’s grasp with a huff. He looked at the young man in front of him.

He was visibly shaking.

“Hey,” Taeyong said, catching his attention. “You’re okay. Get off at the next stop with me.”

Taeyong closed his eyes again and began counting. He got to forty before the voice overhead announced the stop and the train came to a slow halt, the doors opening.

The young man before him moved and Taeyong followed. He quickly looked at the man that had been standing behind him, eyes narrowed. The man tried to look innocent. Taeyong studied his face for a moment, trying to memorize every part of his pathetic face, and then stepped out of the train, grabbing the arm of the other young man.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m going to the hospital,” the young man replied shakily.

Taeyong helped him to a small bench away from the train lines. He sat beside the man and pulled his phone out, sending a message to Nakamoto-san that he had arrived and where he was.

He pocketed it and then looked at the boy again.

“Would you like me to accompany you?” he asked.

“I’m okay,” the young man replied.

Taeyong leaned in closer and whispered. “You’re near your heat,” he said. “You cannot be going around alone like that. Should I call you an ambulance?”

“No, sir,” he answered, panicked. “Please don’t.”

Taeyong was about to reply but someone walked up to them. He looked up and was met with a familiar face. “Nakamoto-san.”

Nakamoto-san smiled, but then it faltered. He took a step back. “Taeyong-san,” he said. His eyes were wide and his eyes moved from Taeyong to the young boy beside him.

“Can we take a small detour?” Taeyong asked. “To the clinic nearby?”

“Of… of course,” Nakamoto-san replied.

Taeyong helped the young boy up and stayed close to him. He led them out of the station. Nakamoto-san fell into step beside Taeyong and stayed close as well. Taeyong could feel the warmth his body gave off and felt calmed by Nakamoto-san’s scent.

As they walked, some people stopped and looked at them, but Nakamoto-san’s protectiveness was enough to get them to look away. Taeyong could tell that Nakamoto-san was confused, but he made no complaint as they walked to the small medical clinic nearby.

It was not a hospital, but Taeyong knew that they had the same things that could help the young boy.

They arrived after a short walk and Taeyong entered with the young boy. He made sure that he was settled in and hesitantly left after a nurse assured him that the boy would be fine waiting alone.

Outside, Nakamoto-san was leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone. He looked up at Taeyong, pushing himself. He gave him a tight smile. “Everything okay?”

“He’s going to be fine,” Taeyong said with a deep breath. “I’m sorry about that.”

Nakamoto-san shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said. He looked Taeyong up and down. “Are you okay? You…”

“Smell disgusting,” Taeyong said. He wrinkled his nose. “That damn alpha rubbed himself all over my back like an animal. Disgusting things.” He stopped and looked at Nakamoto-san. “I’m sorry.”

Nakamoto-san smiled. “No offense taken,” he said. “Are you okay for lunch? I could take you back to your office.”

Taeyong held his breath for a moment. Nakamoto-san knew where he worked, but he didn’t need to see it himself. At least not yet. “No,” Taeyong said. “I know we agreed on somewhere, but there are some good places around here as well.”

“Lead the way,” Nakamoto-san said with a flourish of his arm.

They began walking side by side, quietly.

“Do you want to take your jacket off?” Nakamoto-san said after a minute or two. He looked at Taeyong with wide eyes. “Isn’t it uncomfortable?”

“I’m fine,” Taeyong said. He looked at Nakamoto-san, who raised his eyebrows. He looked like he wanted to say something but he stayed quiet. Taeyong inhaled deeply. He smelled the other alpha on his jacket, overwhelming, and somewhere underneath it all was Nakamoto-san’s scent. He met Nakamoto-san’s eyes again. He realized what Nakamoto-san was asking. He began to pull off his jacket. “But after having it on for hours, it is uncomfortable.”

“I can hold it,” Nakamoto-san said, already reaching out to pry it from Taeyong’s hands. Taeyong let him have it and he tried not to watch as Nakamoto-san brought it to his body, holding it tightly.

Interesting.

“This place is good,” Taeyong said as they walked by a small Thai food restaurant. “Would you like to try it?”

Nakamoto-san smiled. “Let’s go in.”

* * *

“What…” Doyoung sniffed. “What is that smell?”

Jaehyun sat up and wrinkled his nose. He looked around. He raised his arm to his nose and sniffed at his sleeve. “Not me.”

Doyoung copied Jaehyun, smelling his sweater. “It’s not me.”

They both looked at Taeyong. He stared back at them. “What? I don’t smell anything. It’s not me.”

Jaehyun leaned in and took a big whiff of Taeyong’s jacket. “Think again,” he said, sitting back in his seat. “You smell.”

Taeyong frowned. “I do not,” he said. He raised his arm to his nose. There was nothing off about it. “I smell fine.”

Doyoung clapped his hands together, surprising Taeyong and Jaehyun. “Your boyfriend!” he exclaimed, a smile forming on his face. “You were with him during lunch, so now you smell like him.”

Jaehyun looked at him, eyes narrowed. “He’s scenting you already? What exactly did you do together?”

Taeyong laughed. “What are you talking about?” he asked incredulously. “Scented? Me? No, he did not. He didn’t do anything of the sort. And he is not my boyfriend.”

“God, you reek,” Doyoung said, although there was a very affectionate tone to his words. He sighed contently. “Ah, I love traditional courting practices.”

“Traditional c―” Taeyong reached out to punch Doyoung’s shoulder, holding back his laughter. “He’s not doing that.”

“Oh, but I think he is.”

Taeyong said nothing more and continued drinking his beer quietly, listening to Jaehyun go on about how lunch with Hori-san went, Doyoung interrupting every so often to correct him.

Nakamoto-san would never, Taeyong thought to himself. Taeyong had been courted by alphas before and they were obvious about it. He would know if Nakamoto-san was planning on doing something like that. There was no indication that he was that type of alpha in the first place though.

During lunch, Nakamoto-san hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary. They had talked about their workdays. Nakamoto-san had finished teaching for the day and only needed to go back after school for the team’s soccer practice. He had ordered something popular from the restaurant’s menu and ate happily, praising the food, not even flinching when it arrived at their table. He seemed genuinely interested in hearing about Taeyong’s day at work and made thoughtful comments, not just comments that would make Taeyong happy. He didn’t give off any strange pheromones during their lunch meeting. 

It was just Nakamoto-san. The same person Taeyong had met last time.

Of course, there was Taeyong’s jacket, but Nakamoto-san was just helping out. Taeyong had smelled disgusting earlier and he had felt disgusted, having a dirty alpha’s scent all over his clothes. Any good alpha would’ve offered to get rid of the scent and replacing it with their own. Had Taeyong been with someone like Johnny, Johnny definitely would’ve done the same.

And after wearing it all day, Taeyong had just gotten used to it.

But it wasn’t _scenting_.

Was it?

* * *

“Welcome back, Taeyong,” Boa greeted warmly. She motioned to the chair and Taeyong sat down. “We were very happy to hear back from you!”

“Yes, well,” Taeyong took a deep breath. “Thank you very much for your service. I would say that it was very successful.”

Boa smiled, her dimples showing. “It’s going well with Nakamoto-san?”

“We’ve met a couple of times,” Taeyong answered.

“That’s wonderful!” Boa clapped his hands together. “We’re very glad to hear that. Is there anything else we can do for you?”

“I don’t know…” Taeyong hesitated. Boa raised an eyebrow. “Is it possible to set up another meeting through the agency?”

Boa’s smile faltered for less than a second, but she quickly recovered. “Of course,” she said. “If that would make you more comfortable.”

“It would,” Taeyong answered. He held his breath, hesitating. “My experience was lovely, please don’t get me wrong, it’s just…”

“It’s difficult,” Boa finished. “We understand. If you would like, we can set up the meeting now and I will contact Nakamoto-san myself.”

“That would be wonderful.”

Taeyong told Boa his schedule and she wrote the possible dates on a bright yellow sticky note. She removed it from the pad and stuck it to her computer monitor.

“I will call you when we set something up,” Boa assured, standing from her chair.

Taeyong followed, smoothing down his clothes. “Thank you very much.”

He left the office and thanked the receptionist before leaving the building. The streets were busy once again, filled with people going home after a long day at work or school. Taeyong seamlessly fell into the crowd, heading towards the station.

He was hesitating. With Nakamoto-san, he was hesitating. Had his previous relationship, and all the other attempts at relationships since then, really hurt him that much? His breakup with Fuma had left him devastated, but it had been years since then. He had healed. He shouldn’t be so hesitant now.

But maybe Taeyong had gotten too good at being alone. He lived alone, ate alone, commuted alone, slept alone.

It had been years of meeting men that were not good enough for his expectations, or that considered him too good for theirs. Taeyong had gotten good at brushing them off and cutting the ropes that connected them. He was quick to forget them. Not him, or him, and especially not him.

Taeyong relished in the freedom he had of not being in a relationship most days. He was grateful that he was alone, not having to remember anniversaries or think about going home from work the second the clock his six.

But then in walked Nakamoto-san. Very attractive and completely understanding Nakamoto-san with his beautiful smile and his very likable personality. From a good family with some money but he remained humble about it. Hardworking and passionate about his career, taking on several things outside of it, much like Taeyong. An alpha, but almost an unlikely one in several ways.

He checked off the things in Taeyong’s list. So was he hesitating?

Could it be too good to be true?

Taeyong shook the thoughts out of his head as he got off the train half an hour later. He stopped by the convenience store and bought one of the last bentos for the day, not feeling like cooking tonight. He paid for it and headed home.

He ate alone. Washed up alone. Went to bed alone.

The idea of getting a matchmaker was so Taeyong would fall in love with someone.

But he wondered if he was ready to bring someone like Nakamoto-san in his life.

With Nakamoto-san, there was the possibility that Taeyong would never eat, wash up, or go to bed alone again. As hesitant as Taeyong was, he imagined the warmth beside him and the sweet scent of pine and cinnamon as he fell asleep.

* * *

Taeyong rushed along the sidewalk, only stopping once he was in front of the restaurant. He looked around and at the faces of the people passing by. He glanced at his phone and checked the time. He was on time. 

He was about to unlock his phone and open his messages app when he heard his name.

“Taeyong-san,” Nakamoto-san said, smiling. He had appeared out of nowhere.

Taeyong was frazzled. “Nakamoto-san,” he said, smoothing down the front of his shirt. “I’m… I’m sorry, have you been waiting long?”

“Not at all.” Nakamoto-san motioned to the door. “Shall we?”

“Of course.”

They entered the restaurant and Nakamoto-san gave his name to the hostess, who quickly showed them to their table. It was in the back, separated from the more lively dining space. Their table was meant for two, as were the rest of the tables around them. There was a candle centerpiece and a small vase filled with flowers.

“This place is nice,” Nakamoto-san said, opening up his menu. He looked around. “You said you’ve been here before?”

“Yes,” Taeyong answered. He didn’t want to say he had been there on dates with other people, though. He felt his face turn hot. “For a few meetings and such…”

“Is that so?”

There was something in Nakamoto-san’s tone that bothered Taeyong. It was not judgemental or anything, but… teasing. Taeyong tried to ignore it, opening up his menu.

It was a nice restaurant. It was meant for finer dining and it was a bit of a splurge, but Taeyong could afford it. He was sure Nakamoto-san could, too.

As their drinks arrived and they ordered their food, they remained silent. Nakamoto-san continued browsing through the wine list and dessert menu, and Taeyong tried to remain still across from him.

“How was your day, Taeyong-san?” Nakamoto-san finally asked, setting aside the wine list and looking at him.

“It was great,” Taeyong answered, flustered. “It’s a Friday so… everyone was ready to go home.”

“I understand that,” Nakamoto-san said. “All the kids get so fidgety on Fridays, counting down to the end of the school day. I’m sure you don’t do that at work though.”

“Of course not.” Taeyong took a sip of his water, feeling his throat dry. “I rather enjoy my work, as I’ve told you before.”

Nakamoto-san smiled. “And it’s great that you do,” he said. “I've got a few essays to grade this weekend so I’m not quite done with work yet.”

“A teacher’s work is never done, is it?” Taeyong asked with a smile.

“It is not.”

Something was off. Taeyong could sense it. He couldn’t pinpoint it but he knew something was there. He said nothing about it, making casual conversation with Nakamoto-san until their food arrived.

Taeyong ate slowly, still feeling off.

“As you know, I have two sisters,” Nakamoto-san was saying. “My older sister is a teacher as well, but she teaches primary school. My younger sister works at the same company my father works at.”

“And so your younger sister is the pride of the family?” Taeyong asked teasingly.

Nakamoto-san laughed and Taeyong smiled, feeling unsettled. He knew he was forgetting something. Had he left something at the office? Did he have an appointment he had forgotten about? He pushed the feeling away, wanting to focus on Nakamoto-san in front of him. 

“Well, my father wasn’t the happiest when we decided not to work with him,” he said. “I think he’ll live though. He’s gotten over it and is just happy we have jobs. Say, Taeyong-san, are you all right?”

Taeyong straightened in his seat. “Pardon?”

“You look…” Nakamoto-san blinked. “I’m sorry, but you look sick. Is it not good?”

Taeyong swallowed hard. “I…” It was that feeling again. _Something _was wrong. He licked his lips. “It’s warm in here, isn’t it?”

Nakamoto-san stilled for a moment. He set his fork down and cleared his throat. “Taeyong-san, I think we should go,” he said. “I don’t think you’re well…”

“Would that be okay?” Taeyong set his utensils down. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I will just… go pay the bill now,” Nakamoto-san said, standing up. He stopped and looked at something behind Taeyong. Just as he was about to look over his shoulder, Nakamoto-san spoke. “I think you should come with me. We could just leave after I pay.”

Taeyong stood and made sure he had all of his things. He followed Nakamoto-san to the front of the restaurant and let him pay, forgetting about his plan to pay for his share. There was something else nagging at him.

“Taeyong-san,” Nakamoto-san said, catching his attention. He offered his arm. “Please let me take you home.”

“Okay,” Taeyong agreed. He didn’t even think about what that would mean for them. “The train should be leaving soon.”

They walked to the station, Taeyong on Nakamoto-san’s arm. They must’ve looked like a lovely couple.

Taeyong took a few deep breaths. He could smell Nakamoto-san beside him, and it comforted him, but he also felt distressed by it. It seemed more overwhelming today.

Nakamoto-san said nothing as they scanned their cards and settled in the line for the train. He kept Taeyong close, looking around the station. He seemed distracted as well. Taeyong wondered why.

The ride to Taeyong’s stop was not too long. They reached Taeyong’s stop after almost half an hour and they quickly emerged from the station.

“I live down through there,” Taeyong said, motioning a few blocks away. “It’s okay if you leave me here, Nakamoto-san. It was very kind of you to come all this way… but I think I should go the rest of the way alone.”

“Alone?” Nakamoto-san frowned. “No, not alone.”

Taeyong blinked.

Nakamoto-san seemed flustered. “No, I mean―ah, Taeyong-san, I’m sorry, but… how do I say this?” He said something under his breath before he met Taeyong’s eyes again. Then in a very clear and calm voice: “I don’t think it’s safe for you to be alone at this moment.”

Oh no.

“Ah.” Taeyong began to pull away from Nakamoto-san. “I’m sorry, Nakamoto-san, but I think that I’m very capable of going home alone. I don’t need you to accompany me.”

He was quick to grab Taeyong again. It was rough or harsh like Taeyong expected, but careful and gentle. “Taeyong-san, please,” he said, “Let me walk you to your building. I… I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Taeyong didn’t understand. He walked home alone every night. His neighborhood was rather safe. There was little to worry about. “Fine,” he said anyway.

Nakamoto-san let out a relieved sigh and they began walking in silence.

Taeyong’s building wasn’t too far from the station and it was only ten minutes before they were standing in front of it.

“Well, here I am,” Taeyong said. He looked at Nakamoto-san. “Thank you, Nakamoto-san.”

“Goodnight, Taeyong-san,” he replied.

Taeyong moved towards the entrance of his building and then he felt it. It sent a shiver down his spine. He looked back at Nakamoto-san.

“Are you… all right?” He walked back to Nakamoto-san, grabbing his arm. He got a little closer to try and get a good look at his face. “You…”

“Taeyong-san,” he said. And then he kissed Taeyong.

* * *

They stumbled into the elevator, mouths already coming together, unable to keep their hands off each other. Taeyong pushed the button for his floor with one hand while the other pulled at Nakamoto-san’s hair. He decided that he liked it, pulling at the long brown strands. Taeyong pulled a little harder and Nakamoto-san groaned. Nakamoto-san’s hands held Taeyong’s hips tighter, fingers digging into the skin.

The elevator dinged and they tumbled out. They were gasping and Taeyong had Nakamoto-san’s hand in his, pulling him to his apartment door. Taeyong barely managed to put the key in the hole, twist it, and push the door open. His heart felt like it might jump from his chest and he was just about trembling with anticipation.

Taeyong knew that Nakamoto-san was doing something to him, poisoning him slowly to keep him in place, but Taeyong’s mind was foggy and he wanted it. And it wasn’t because of what Nakamoto-san was doing. He truly wanted it. He wanted _more_.

Taeyong barely made it over the threshold and turned on the lights in the apartment before Nakamoto-san had him again, pinned up against the nearest empty wall. Nakamoto-san closed the door with one hand, the sound of it slamming shut echoing through the entrance. Then Nakamoto-san’s hand moved to Taeyong’s face, caressing his cheek.

Nakamoto-san pulled away, their lips connected with a string of saliva. Nakamoto-san licked his lips, making the saliva drip down onto his chin. “Are you sure?” Nakamoto-san asked. His eyes were filled with worry and genuine concern. “I can stop now.”

“No,” Taeyong replied. “Don’t.”

Taeyong moved forward, startling Nakamoto-san and making him stumble backward. Nakamoto-san managed to catch his balance and his hands held Taeyong in place. Taeyong’s mouth moved against Nakamoto-san’s fervently.

He grabbed Nakamoto-san’s arms. He began pulling them backward, further into the apartment. Taeyong knew it like the back of his hand. He had been in this situation many times, with some of the men that came before Nakamoto-san. Yet those times somehow felt lacking in Taeyong’s mind at the moment. It was different, with Nakamoto-san.

When the back of Taeyong’s knees hit the couch, Nakamoto-san pushed him down on it and was quick to climb on top to straddle him. Taeyong was panting, looking up at Nakamoto-san.

“If you want me to stop, tell me,” Nakamoto-san said clearly, panting. 

Taeyong nodded.

Nakamoto-san leaned down and kissed him again. It was hot and hard. Taeyong felt Nakamoto-san’s teeth hit his own and it hurt, but then Nakamoto-san was biting into his bottom lip. Taeyong wondered how many others had experienced this. How many other people had been underneath Nakamoto-san, allowing him to do whatever he wanted with them? Many had been in Nakamoto-san’s position before, but it had never felt this way. When Nakamoto-san began pulling up Taeyong’s shirt out of where it was tucked into his pants, fingers dragging against his skin, it felt like a fire had been set to his body in the places that he touched. Nakamoto-san then started unbuttoning the shirt, never breaking their kisses.

Their kisses were momentarily halted as Nakamoto-san pushed Taeyong’s shirt off his shoulders. He tossed it aside and then moved to remove his shirt, tugging it out of his pants and unbuttoning it quickly. Nakamoto-san paused. He was staring at Taeyong. Taeyong didn’t mind. He didn’t try to pull Nakamoto-san back to resume their activities. Instead, he marveled at Nakamoto-san’s body.

The black shirt he had worn had displayed Nakamoto-san’s body, but seeing it without the shirt was breathtaking. Nakamoto-san didn’t have a six-pack necessarily, but Taeyong could see the faint lines of the muscles on his abdomen. There was even a trace of prominent oblique muscles running down his sides. His shoulders were wide and they slimmed down to a smaller waist. Naturally, Taeyong felt embarrassed when he realized that Nakamoto-san was straddling him and looking down at him, shirtless as well.

Whereas Nakamoto-san had a nice toned body, Taeyong was simply skinny. His abs were nonexistent. He had them once, but it had been hard to maintain such a thing with all the work he did now.

Taeyong was unsure what expression was on his face but Nakamoto-san was immediately concerned by it. He leaned down. One of his hands moved to his hair, his fingers moving through it, slowly.

“What’s wrong?” Nakamoto-san asked, worry in his voice. He was close enough that Taeyong could feel his warm breath fan his face as he spoke. Something woody and spicy filled Taeyong’s senses. “Do you want to stop now?”

Taeyong took a deep breath. It was shaky. “I, I want to keep going,” he whispered, feeling dazed. “But do you want to stop?”

Nakamoto-san pulled away from him a little. His eyebrows were pulled together and his lips were turned down into a small frown. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing,” Taeyong said quickly. He put his hands on Nakamoto-san’s waist. His fingers slipped under the waistband of his pants. “Let’s just keep going.”

Taeyong moved to kiss Nakamoto-san but he pulled back even more. “No,” he said.

So he did want to stop.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Nakamoto-san said. It was said softly, but still demanding.

Taeyong closed his eyes tightly. He removed his hands from Nakamoto-san’s person. He inhaled deeply. “Can we turn the lights off?”

He opened his eyes and met Nakamoto-san’s eyes, wide with understanding. Nakamoto-san let himself down to kiss Taeyong on the corner of his lips. “Let’s leave them on?” he suggested. “I want to see you.”

“Are you sure?” Taeyong asked.

Nakamoto-san gave him a small nod. “I’m sure,” he replied. “You’re gorgeous.”

Taeyong felt his face burn. 

Nakamoto-san kissed him fully on the lips. Slowly. He made his way down Taeyong’s chin, onto his neck. Taeyong closed his eyes. Nakamoto-san made sure to kiss each part of him deliberately. He placed long kisses on Taeyong’s clavicles, then small pecks down his chest. More long kisses by his nipples, then Nakamoto-san took the small stubs into his mouth, moving his tongue around them and putting them in between his teeth softly.

Taeyong let out a sigh, feeling high as Nakamoto-san continued. 

Minutes had passed, yet Nakamoto-san took his sweet time. Taeyong could barely keep his eyes open. He forced himself to look for half a minute, looking down as Nakamoto-san kissed his way down his navel. His eyes fluttered up to meet his and Taeyong groaned, throwing his head back. Nakamoto-san looked so beautiful.

Nakamoto-san popped the button on Taeyong’s pants and hooked his fingers in the belt loops. Taeyong lifted his hips slightly, and Nakamoto-san pulled down hard. The pants slid down Taeyong’s thighs. Nakamoto-san pushed them down until they were around his calves, allowing him a view of Taeyong’s pale skin underneath. His erection was still trapped underneath his briefs. 

Taeyong was breathing loudly. 

Nakamoto-san slowly pulled down the briefs and Taeyong was freed from the fabric that had been constricting him for the better part of an hour now. Nakamoto-san placed a hand at the shaft of his cock, squeezing a few times, making Taeyong moan in the back of his throat. Taeyong placed his head against the arm of the couch. He felt his lips make their way to the head and he closed his eyes tight.

Taeyong’s hands found Nakamoto-san’s hair and he pulled. Nakamoto-san hummed, sending vibrations down Taeyong’s cock. The feeling itself sent another wave of emotions through Taeyong’s body. He pulled back one of his hands and covered his face with it. 

Nakamoto-san continued working on Taeyong. When he dared to peek, he found Nakamoto-san’s lips plush against his erection, the mixture of his pre-come and Nakamoto-san's saliva making them glisten. The sight was enough to make Taeyong moan.

Then Nakamoto-san pulled off completely. Taeyong raised his head to see. Nakamoto-san was licking his hand. He placed it onto Taeyong’s cock and started jerking him off, slowly at first and then building up. Once he had set a pace, he added his lips once more. It took everything in Taeyong not to lose it right there.

One of his hands gripped at the cushion of the couch and the other held onto the arm of the couch. 

Nakamoto-san’s tongue swirled around the head, then he pulled off, removing his hand momentarily. It was messy. His lips were dirty with his spit and Taeyong’s pre-come. Nakamoto-san licked up Taeyong’s cock. 

Nakamoto-san was going to get him off with just his mouth at this point. Taeyong began to squirm on the couch.

“Please,” he let out.

Taeyong didn’t know what Nakamoto-san was thinking, but he just took Taeyong further into his mouth. His hands focused on massaging his balls. Nakamoto-san went as far as he could, and then pulled back until just the head was in his mouth. The sound was horrific. Taeyong had always disliked the sound of getting a blowjob, with the person giving choking at times and sometimes forcing themselves to take more than what was comfortable.

Still, Taeyong automatically began to thrust up into Nakamoto-san’s mouth once he felt he wasn’t doing enough. It was second nature to do so. With Taeyong thrusting up, they had lost rhythm, but Nakamoto-san was quick to find it again.

Taeyong removed his hand from the arm of the couch and grabbed Nakamoto-san’s hair again. He held him in place and continued to use Nakamoto-san’s mouth, careful not to go too far that he choked and gagged. It was fast and messy, with no distinct rhythm. Taeyong went until he felt close. Then he let go of Nakamoto-san.

Before he could grab his erection, Nakamoto-san grabbed it, wrapping his fingers around the length. It was red already and oozing the pre-come. Taeyong wouldn’t last another two minutes.

“Let me,” he said. There was a look of determination on his face.

Nakamoto-san’s hand moved quickly and Taeyong felt himself begin to shake. Nakamoto-san twisted a little, squeezed a little as his hand moved up. Taeyong let out a low moan. He closed his eyes tight, cursing under his breath. He felt the hot spurts of come land on his stomach. Nakamoto-san continued to jerk him off as he rode through his orgasm. 

Then Nakamoto-san put his lips around the tip once more and begun lapping up the come that was dripping down. Nakamoto-san moved to clean up the mess on Taeyong’s stomach but Taeyong stopped him. He placed a hand on his cheek and lazily nodded his head up. Nakamoto-san crawled up and when he was close enough, Taeyong kissed him.

He could taste the saltiness of his ejaculation but he didn’t care. Nakamoto-san kissed back just as deeply.

Taeyong pulled away. “Let’s clean up quick,” he said slowly. He looked at the white-hot mess on his stomach and grimaced. If he wasn’t careful, he’d dirty his couch. He met Nakamoto-san’s eyes again. “Then I want to go to the bedroom.”

Nakamoto-san smiled, nodding. He pulled up his shirt from where he had tossed it on the floor. He carefully and diligently wiped away the come on Taeyong.

He stood from the couch and held out a hand for Taeyong. Taeyong stood and slipped out completely of his briefs, which had been pushed down to his thighs.

Now he was completely naked. 

He grabbed Nakamoto-san’s hand and began to pull him to his bedroom. Taeyong had a large bed that had begun to feel a little empty recently.

As they entered the room, Taeyong pushed Nakamoto-san onto the side on the bed. He was still only shirtless, but his pants left little to the imagination. The moonlight that came in through the window was enough to confirm this. Even without the light on, Taeyong could see that.

Taeyong was quick to drop to his knees, undo the button, and start the slow process of pulling them down. Much to his surprise, Nakamoto-san hadn’t worn anything underneath. 

Nakamoto-san’s erection was also a bright red and leaking, begging for attention. Taeyong was happy to take it and begin to mouth at it. Taeyong had a rather small mouth, but he thought he was still rather good. Taeyong ran his tongue against the flesh, making long stripes from the base to the head. Then he changed to kitten licks, lapping a little here and a little there.

From above him, Nakamoto-san was panting, muttering curses under his breath.

Once Nakamoto-san’s cock was slick enough, Taeyong wrapped his fingers around it. He pumped it slowly. He continued to do so as he stood up. He wasn’t that much taller so it was comfortable.

Nakamoto-san claimed Taeyong’s lips, moaning into their kisses. 

He was more impatient than Taeyong, though. He was thrusting into Taeyong’s hand a few minutes later, breathlessly calling out Taeyong’s name.

It had him dizzy. All the pheromones and his heightened senses made him feel so vulnerable and sensitive, and he could feel himself begin to produce some slick. Taeyong was aware of what was happening, and he would’ve stopped it… but Nakamoto-san. He couldn’t stop it with Nakamoto-san.

Taeyong leaned into Nakamoto-san’s ear. “Let me help you in a better way.”

Taeyong removed his hand from Nakamoto-san, who let out a whine. It was unexpected and Taeyong felt the sound go straight down to his half-hard cock. 

Taeyong climbed onto the bed, pulling at Nakamoto-san’s arm. Nakamoto-san got on. His cock was still begging for attention, but Taeyong knew that the wait could be worth it. He made himself a little more comfortable on the bed.

Before Taeyong could do anything, Nakamoto-san pushed him back onto the bed, pulling his hands on the pillows and holding them in place. Taeyong held his breath.

“Let me do it,” Nakamoto-san said against Taeyong’s neck. He was so close to his bonding gland. It made Taeyong shiver.

“Okay,” Taeyong whispered.

Nakamoto-san let him go. His hand disappeared from Taeyong’s vision and then he felt it. The first finger, gently teasing him. Taeyong bit his lip hard as Nakamoto-san pushed his finger inside. He paused, allowing him to adjust, before moving it slowly.

The process took time and Taeyong was a bright red, gasping mess by the time Nakamoto-san had managed to fit three fingers inside. 

“Go,” Taeyong said. “Go.”

Nakamoto-san removed his fingers. He spread Taeyong’s legs open. Taeyong moved so that Nakamoto-san could easily grab onto him. Nakamoto-san grabbed him by the hips, thumbs tracing circles onto his hip bones.

“Tell me if you want to stop,” Nakamoto-san said.

Taeyong nodded.

While sex wasn’t anything new to Taeyong, the way that Nakamoto-san went about it was surprising, in a good way. With many of the people he had tried to date and all most all of his one night stands, it was fast and felt somewhat disconnected from anything emotional. The fact that Nakamoto-san decided to take him in this position, a position where they faced each other and could see each other, was shocking. 

Nakamoto-san would be able to see every expression that crossed Taeyong’s face and Taeyong would be able to see his. They could kiss like this, too—the fact was not lost on Taeyong. And Nakamoto-san was gentle about it, offering comfort and reassurance. While his grip was hard, it was not enough to be painful. It felt more intimate and emotional than any other time Taeyong had had sex.

He let go of Taeyong and moved so that he could line himself up with Taeyong. Then slowly, Taeyong felt Nakamoto-san enter him. Taeyong closed his eyes, momentarily blinded by the pain of the stretch. It was still so much. It had been a while for Taeyong, and even with all the preparation and slick, it was so much. When he opened his eyes, tears were forming at the corners.

Nakamoto-san noticed and raised a hand to caress Taeyong’s cheek. He didn’t move. He stayed like that, waiting until Taeyong adjusted to him.

“Go,” Taeyong whispered. 

Nakamoto-san gave him a nod. He moved slowly, and soon the pain transformed into pleasure. Taeyong groaned as he ground his hips a little as he pushed back in. 

As the pain disappeared completely, Taeyong could tell that Nakamoto-san was more confident in moving harder, quicker. The sound of skin hitting skin combined with their heavy breathing and moans was obscene. It echoed through Taeyong’s room, and he wondered if his neighbors on the other side of the wall could hear it. He didn’t care if they did.

Taeyong wrapped his legs around Nakamoto-san’s waist. His hands were on his back, fingernails digging into the skin there. Nakamoto-san’s own hands were on either side of Taeyong’s face, holding him up.

“Come here,” Taeyong said shakily, pulling him closer.

Nakamoto-san wasn’t prepared for it so it hurt when Nakamoto-san’s teeth hit Taeyong right on the lips. He quickly caught on and his lips moved against his roughly. Taeyong let himself bite into Nakamoto-san’s bottom lip after a particularly hard thrust, and Nakamoto-san let out a groan of pain.

Taeyong moved one of his hands to the space in between them. He wrapped his fingers around his cock and began to jerk off in time with Nakamoto-san’s movements.

“I’m… soon,” Nakamoto-san mumbled, eyes closed.

After a few more seconds, Nakamoto-san let out a deep sigh and Taeyong felt the warmth of the come that was being released inside him along with the slight swelling of the knot... Nakamoto-san continued to move, slower, eyes still closed. One of his hands wrapped around Taeyong’s and then he was helping Taeyong get off. 

When Taeyong did, it came in short, hot spurts. Most of it fell onto his stomach, but some had gotten onto Nakamoto-san. Taeyong opened his mouth as Nakamoto-san continued to stroke him through his orgasm, but no sound came out. Taeyong closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry I…”

“It’s fine,” Taeyong breathed. “It’s fine.”

Taeyong was feeling overwhelmed. Nakamoto-san had knotted him. It wasn’t something to worry about. Taeyong would be fine, but the feeling of having the knot inside him… it was so much. Taeyong barely kept his eyes open. Nakamoto-san’s face turned into one of worry.

“Taeyong-san?”

Taeyong came to almost half an hour later, with Nakamoto-san still inside him.

“It’s been half an hour,” Nakamoto-san said. “You can go back to sleep.”

He closed his eyes again, with a deep sigh, feeling the warm come inside him.

Almost another half hour later, he woke up to Nakamoto-san pulling out and dropping onto the bed beside Taeyong. The come inside Taeyong came out slowly and it felt odd, but he tried not to focus on it.

Taeyong opened his eyes fully to look at him. He turned on his side, feeling a slight ache in his lower back, and Nakamoto-san did, too. 

The light coming from the window wasn’t bright, but it allowed Taeyong to see Nakamoto-san. He was sweating, long brown hair sticking to his face. The sheen of the sweat made it look like he was almost glowing. His lips were swollen. His eyes were bright. Taeyong wondered if his cheeks were flushed. The light didn’t allow him to see if they were. It all made Taeyong felt a little nauseous. Even after sex, Nakamoto-san still looked that gorgeous.

Nakamoto-san suddenly brought a hand up to push away some of the hair that had stuck to Taeyong’s forehead. He hummed. “You’re so pretty,” Nakamoto-san murmured. 

Taeyong saw Nakamoto-san’s eyes move to look all over his face. He wondered just what he looked like to Nakamoto-san at the moment. Truthfully, he felt disgusting. All of the sweat and come that was on and in him made him feel dirty. He knew that his cheeks were probably red and that his lips were all swollen and bitten at, bleeding from where Nakamoto-san had put his teeth. And he was uncomfortably hot now that it was over. 

“During dinner earlier… you said you had a meeting in the morning?” Nakamoto-san asked softly. 

Taeyong nodded. 

“Then let’s clean up and go to sleep. It’s almost one.”

Nakamoto-san carefully got off the bed.

“Is that your bathroom?” he asked, pointing to the door.

Taeyong nodded again. 

He watched as Nakamoto-san disappeared into the bathroom. His eyes moved to the digital clock on one of the nightstands. Sure enough, it was almost one. 

The sun would rise in the next five hours. Nakamoto-san would leave. Taeyong would go to his meeting. And that would be that.

This hadn’t been the plan. This hadn’t been the purpose of going through the agency and meeting Nakamoto-san.

Taeyong wondered if he would see him again after he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is moving too fast for my liking, but that's what I get for writing this on a whim with zero planning! I have to start outlining the rest of this or it will be a hot mess
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and kudos! I sincerely appreciate them all! <3


	3. Not a Friend, Not a Lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter allows insight into how doctor's appointments work and a little touch of biology in this universe. I had a blast making up my fake science! (However, proestrus and estrus are real things! These periods of time a part of the estrous cycle! That is not fake!) 
> 
> Also, this is not edited thoroughly, so please ignore my mistakes :(
> 
> Chapter title from The Aces’ “Physical”

He prided himself on his responsibility.

Taeyong got to where he was in life because he was responsible. He had spent his early youth being irresponsible but had learned to become the type of guy to take care of everything in a well-planned, timely manner. He traded the mindless hours he spent playing games for studying, and that got him into a prestigious university in Japan. He spent his time working hard instead of going out to parties, and that landed him in his current position at his company. He ate and drank responsibly, kept up with his workout to make sure he stayed in shape, set aside a set amount of money in savings every two weeks, and even paid his bills a few days in advance.

The email waiting in his inbox was nothing surprising to him. It was from his doctor’s office. He received one every six months. The email informed him that he had an appointment soon, a reminder just in case he forgot. But he hadn’t forgotten, because he was responsible.

His parents had always taken care of his checkups as a kid, but there was only so much they could do for him the more he grew up. He had gone through his first heat at the age of fourteen and his parents had panicked, going to the emergency room only to be told that he was fine, but moving forward Taeyong would have to see a regular gynecologist. It was something his mother had experience with as a woman, but it would be different for Taeyong. Going through those changes had made Taeyong see how much more there would be to his life experiences compared to those of his parents, or even his sister’s. He had buckled down, at the innocent age of fourteen, and began to take responsibility for his health.

Now, as an adult, his job offered him a health plan that covered all of it. He went to his doctor every six months, a bit before his heat started, and was able to get his checkups, medication, and any other treatment he needed before anything happened to him at very little cost.

There was a reason he planned his appointments months in advance. He planned them so he wouldn’t forget, so he could clear his schedule well in advance, so they wouldn’t overlap with other important work appointments and he could take off the days required. Yet somehow, something was off this time around.

“I have a doctor’s appointment,” he said, staring at his supervisor. “I have informed HR in advance, as always, sir.”

“Yes, yes. You come in and tell me every time, Taeyong-san. And I do receive a notification from HR, you know,” the old man said, setting aside the file in his hands. He pushed his glasses up and eyed Taeyong for a moment. He cleared his throat and then picked up the file again, opening the manila folder slowly. “Perhaps you should look into changing your benefits package soon, Taeyong-san.”

Taeyong smiled at the man. “Respectfully, sir… I don’t see why that’s necessary,” he replied. He bowed his head. “If I may…”

He peered up through his lashes and only received a wave of his supervisor’s hand. He left the man’s office, closing the door behind him quietly.

His appointment was during his lunch break. He had made sure to finish his work ahead of time, finalizing the reports that needed to be submitted. The teams were assigned their new assignments and had begun in earnest. It would take them a couple of weeks before they were finished and sent to Taeyong, who would be at home.

Doyoung and Jaehyun had started to pester Taeyong about his upcoming break, although they were the only ones that called it that. It was far from being a break. It stressed Taeyong out, to have to take some time off work. The time off was all part of his health plan and there was no issue with him taking the time off, but for someone in his position, he felt guilty about having to be away, even if there was no changing it. During his last cycle, Taeyong had managed to work from home for a few days, though the rest were spent with him agonizing in his bedroom.

So Taeyong was not excited about going through that during this supposed break.

He returned to his office, head full of thoughts about how he was going to maximize his time off and keep up with the progress the teams were making. He had asked Doyoung to send him updates at the end of each day, but Doyoung had politely declined, telling him that they were friends and he was not going to talk about work in detail just to ease Taeyong’s anxious need to be on top of everything. Thankfully, Taeyong had gotten another trusted team leader, Shiori-san, to send him an email with information on each team’s progress.

He collected his belongings, knowing that it was likely he wouldn’t be coming back more than once the remainder of the week. He was slow and careful, not wanting to leave so quickly.

A soft knock at his door made him turn around.

“You want me to accompany you?” Doyoung offered his sweetest smile.

“I heard Jaehyun was having lunch with Hori-san,” he said. “A lunch date?”

“I think Hori-san is just being nice.”

Taeyong placed one last file into his bag and pulled it over his shoulder. He walked towards the door, stopping in front of Doyoung. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

They walked to the elevator. The floor had already cleared for lunch, for the most part. A few stragglers remained, reading files or typing away, bento boxes placed haphazardly on their desks. Taeyong knew that Doyoung would come back and assume that position, not to be moved or disturbed until 6:15.

It was only them in the elevator, all the way down to the lobby of the building. They walked through the large glass doors and the cooler, October air hit them. It was refreshing. Taeyong inhaled deeply.

“Mizuho has decided on a venue,” Doyoung said as they began their walk to the station. “She’s very…”

“Mizu-chan,” Taeyong finished.

Doyoung nodded. “She does what she wants to do,” he said after a beat. “Gotta love her though.”

The look on Doyoung’s face was soft. It was a look that Taeyong had seen on his parents’ faces, his sister’s, Johnny’s and Christie’s… it was the look of love. Taeyong looked away, not wanting to intrude. It felt too intimate to witness.

Doyoung had been with Mizu-chan since they were twenty. They had gone through the last decade of their life together, not once thinking that they were not meant for each other. Three years ago, Mizu-chan had been to one that asked Doyoung to marry her, which had left him flustered because Doyoung had already been planning the perfect way to ask her. But of course, Mizu-chan did what she wanted. Doyoung accepted her proposal, though he gave her the proper proposal she always wanted two months later.

Now they had finally saved up enough for their dream wedding. Mizu-chan had taken control of the planning, but Doyoung refused to budge on some parts of the planning, and together, the two created the perfect amount of Doyoung and Mizu-chan, a balance that was only achieved after the nine years that they had spent together.

“I have already chosen the flowers,” Doyoung said. “I was very clear with Mizuho about deciding that. She picked a venue that suits the flowers nicely.”

Taeyong laughed, which made Doyoung crack a smile. “She didn’t choose a venue to accommodate your flowers.”

“I like to think she did,” he answered back, a teasing lilt to his voice. He looked at Taeyong. “How are you and the boyfriend?”

The laughter died down and Taeyong knew that his expression fell. Doyoung was quick to amend it.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “But you were so… into him. You talked about him for a bit, and now we haven’t heard a word.”

Taeyong sighed. He scrunched his nose. “I know, I know.” Doyoung waited. “To be honest, something happened…”

Doyoung let out a small gasp. “Taeyong, you did not!”

“It got out of hand!” A few people around them looked at them, but Taeyong ignored them and focused on willing the blush on his cheeks to go away. “I’m too old for this, but… it happened, and now there’s nothing I can do.”

“He hasn’t texted you? Called?”

Taeyong bit his tongue.

Nakamoto-san had texted and called, but Taeyong had been too much of a coward to answer. He deleted Nakamoto-san’s text messages before he could even read the small previews and he let his phone calls go to voicemail and proceeded to delete the voicemails without listening.

“Taeyong,” Doyoung said, already knowing the answer. He sounded stressed. “You’re right. You _are_ too old for this.”

He felt like a pouting child that was scuffing their shoes in the dirt, hands behind his back, being reprimanded for getting himself dirty. “Doyoung…”

“The world does not revolve around you, Taeyong,” Doyoung said. He looked at Taeyong for a second before he turned back to look straight ahead. “Just because this guy is interested in you doesn’t mean that he’ll remain interested. He joined that matchmaking agency for a reason. He saw something in you and liked you enough that wanted to stick with you. But if you don’t want to stick with him and only treat him like a one night stand, he is not obligated to remain available and be around it’s convenient for you.”

There was a reason why Doyoung was one of Taeyong’s closest friends. Doyoung never hesitated to tell Taeyong the errors of his ways. Of course, Doyoung was there for all of Taeyong’s high points, praising, supporting, and encouraging him. But whenever Taeyong was being obtuse, deliberate or not, Doyoung pulled him out of his thoughts and set him back on the right path. While Johnny and Jaehyun were also like this, Johnny was nicer about it and Jaehyun was a little more subtle. But not Doyoung. Never Doyoung.

Doyoung would yell at him, sometimes literally and sometimes only metaphorically. “What have you done to my friend? Get out of here, and bring Taeyong back!” It was Doyoung’s way of taking care of him. Taeyong knew this.

He knew this, and yet, he couldn’t help but feel like he would like to remain in the headspace he was currently in.

“Taeyong, this walk is only five more minutes,” Doyoung said seriously. “And I will probably not see you for two or three weeks. We need to figure this out now.”

“There’s nothing to figure out!” Taeyong exclaimed. He held onto the strap of his bag tighter. “I know I’m too old for this. God, I am thirty… but this is—”

“This is what you wanted,” Doyoung interrupted. “This _is_ what you want.”

Doyoung stopped and grabbed onto Taeyong’s sleeve, bringing him back. He turned Taeyong towards him and put a hand on each of his shoulders. He looked at him with a very determined glare.

“You are the greatest man I have ever known and will ever know. You are so great, yet I have seen you go out to dinner with losers that don’t respect you and I’ve seen you have one night stands with men that are nowhere near your caliber. You are the hardest, baddest motherfucker I have had the chance to know, and still, you’ve gone through all this shit! And this guy, this _great_ guy comes, and he respects you. He’s nice, smart, talented, and he wants you for you, and you’re not going to accept him? Because, what? You’re scared, or you think you don’t deserve someone that loves you and wants to be with you?”

Taeyong looked at Doyoung for a second before turning his gaze to the side. Doyoung dropped his hands, sighing.

“I’m just saying, Taeyong,” he said. “He seems like he likes you enough to stick around a while longer and there aren’t many people who would do that.”

Taeyong let out a small laugh, reaching out to shove Doyoung. “Shut up.”

They reached the station and Doyoung stopped once again, turning on his heels to face Taeyong. “He’s going to be here to stay,” he said with a firm nod of his head. “I’m telling you… four months, and you’ll be married!”

“I have to go now,” Taeyong replied teasingly.

Doyoung scrunched up his nose. “I’ll swing around in a few days,” he said. He tilted his head to the side a little. “What’d you say your appointment was for?”

“The same thing as always,” Taeyong answered. He fixed the strap on his shoulder. “Why?”

“No reason,” Doyoung murmured. He waved his hand. “Go, get out of here. You’ll miss the train.”

* * *

Taeyong had been seeing his doctor for eleven years now. The first year he spent in Tokyo, he had tried two other doctors before he stumbled into the small clinic and found the person he’d been visiting for the last decade.

The clinic, while small, was rather upscale. It hadn’t always been as such. When Taeyong began coming here, it was still within his university student price range, but as the area developed and renovations were made, it naturally became a place that was appropriate for a specific group of people. Taeyong had debated leaving, but as he began working and getting promoted, his paychecks and the better health plans that came with his new positions were able to cover the expenses.

The waiting area was decorated with white plush couches and a couple of armchairs. A large coffee table made from a dark wood sat in the center, several health magazines littered across its surface and a small fern planted inside a small geometric pot sat in the center of it. Photographs and paintings of serene landscapes hung from the wall.

Two women were waiting in the room with him, one sitting on the couch and the other in the armchair.

One looked older than Taeyong. She sat straight and tall in the armchair, long black hair falling straight down her back. She was dressed in something similar to what the women at the office wore, if not a little more sophisticated and high end. She had a small, luxury brand purse at her side and the newest model phone in her hand. Her manicured hands tapped away at the screen, deep red-stained lips pulled into a frown and thick eyelashes batting.

The second woman looked rather young. She had one of the magazines from the table in her hands and was reading with wide, innocent eyes. She wore a loose tee shirt and an even looser cardigan over it but still, Taeyong could see the slight curve to her stomach. She unknowingly moved one of her hands from the magazine to her stomach, resting it there for a moment before going back to turn the page, pink lips carefully mouthing along to whatever she was reading.

It was a women’s clinic. Taeyong was aware of that. He had been aware of that since the first time he came here. More often than not, he was the only man waiting in the room.

But apart from being a women’s clinic, it was also an omega clinic. The idea of omegas having to be women had long since faded and special clinics made specifically for omegas or just male omegas had been popping up in the last decade, but Taeyong refused to give up his doctor.

He was not embarrassed or ashamed to be waiting in a room full of women. And neither of the women had batted an eyelash when he sat down on the empty couch, waiting to be called by the nurse.

The older woman was called first. She put her phone into her purse, stood up and followed the nurse past the door that led to the examination rooms. The second woman closed the magazine and set it on the table in the middle. She glanced at Taeyong curiously.

“Where did you buy your bag? If I may…”

Taeyong looked at her. She was looking at him curiously. “Ah, it was a gift so I’m not sure… I’m sorry,” he answered with a gentle smile. “It’s from South Korea.”

She hummed. “Is that so?” She moved her gaze down to Taeyong’s bag again. “It’s nice. I would like to get my wife something similar.”

She was about to say something else, but a short nurse opened the door that led to the exam rooms, clipboard in hand. Her eyes landed on the young woman. “Minatozaki Sana-san?”

The young woman stood and walked towards the nurse, stepping past the threshold and disappearing. Taeyong sighed and leaned back into the couch, waiting.

It was a few minutes before the same nurse appeared again. “Lee Taeyong-san?”

He stood and followed her down the empty hall. There were several doors on each side, lining the wall. Small signs hung by the doors, indicating examination rooms, offices, X-ray rooms, and the other rooms that were meant for the staff to use.

He was led to Examination Room 5. The nurse closed the door and clapped her hands together.

“Alright, Lee-san, as always, I will take your blood pressure, height, and weight, and then Ishigami-sensei will be in to see you.”

Taeyong pulled off his jacket and set it on one of the chairs along with his bag. He removed his shoes and waited for the nurse to set up the scale. He stepped on it and waited. The nurse moved the scale and then recorded the number. It was the same as it was six months ago, if not a little higher. She then moved to fix the scale to measure his height. Despite being shorter, she managed to do it without struggling. She wrote the number down.

“You can sit now,” she said with a smile.

Taeyong moved towards the exam table, the paper underneath him crinkling.

The nurse came closer with the blood pressure monitor and Taeyong let her wrap it around his arm. He waited as she measured it and picked up the clipboard, pen scratching across the paper as she recorded it.

“Alright, everything looks good!” she exclaimed. She cleaned everything up and then offered him a folded gown to change into. She then collected the clipboard and pen. “We’ll give you a few minutes to change and then Ishigami-sensei will be right in.”

“Thank you,” Taeyong said, watching as she left the exam room.

He got off the exam table and began to undress. He folded his clothes and set it aside on the chair with the rest of his belongings. He pulled the gown on and sat back on the exam table, pulling the sheet that came with it over his lap.

The door opened a moment later and a different short woman walked in. She wore a knee-length dress with small daisies printed on it and a bright, white coat over it. Embroidered on the left breast of the coat were the clinic’s logo and her name. She held a clipboard in her hand and was reading from it. She closed the door behind her and looked up, a smile blooming on her face.

“Taeyong-san,” she said, walking over to him.

“Ishigami-sensei,” he said back.

“You are here for…” She looked back at the clipboard. “Pre-heat standard six-month checkup, as always.”

Taeyong nodded. “Yes, as always.”

She smiled and walked to the counter, washing her hands in the sink, drying them, and pulling out some gloves from a box. She pulled them over her hands, the latex snapping at her wrists. She came back over. “Okay, as you know, we’ll do a small pelvic exam to make sure that there are no issues, and we’ll discuss what to expect for the next month or so.”

Taeyong moved back on the exam table, leaning back. “Ishigami-sensei, you say this every time,” he said with a smile. He stared up at the ceiling.

Ishigami-sensei laughed softly. “I know, but I am required to say it each visit, regardless of if you’ve been coming here for the last ten years,” she answered. He heard the sound of her pulling out and setting up the stirrups. Taeyong felt her hands hover over the gown. “If you could please lift your legs… Alright, I’ll just help you put them in… Now, I will lift the gown a little.”

He heard her pull up the stool she sat on and her pulling a small cart with the equipment she needed. Taeyong waited.

“Okay, now I’m going to slowly insert the tool. You will feel a little pressure, but it should ease up after a second.”

Taeyong took a deep breath and sure enough, he felt a small amount of pressure that went away after a moment. He waited quietly, letting her do her work.

She continued the exam, only speaking to tell Taeyong when she was going to do something. He closed his eyes and waited, already knowing that it would take a little under half an hour to complete.

When she finished, she helped Taeyong bring his legs down and let him sit up and get comfortable. She pulled off the gloves and tossed them in the small bin.

“Well, everything looks normal,” she said, picking up the clipboard and writing something down. “You are showing signs of being in proestrus already, so we will begin to prepare for that, as well as preparing for the estrous phase.”

Taeyong already knew this. His cycles were rather regular and he had gotten good at knowing when to expect them after years of going through it.

“Now, like always, I have some questions for you. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to tell me them now.” She looked up at him.

Taeyong waited.

“Alright… when was the last time you were sexually active?”

“Oh, uh,” Taeyong paused, trying to count in his mind. It had been with Nakamoto-san… “It was around… around two, two and a half weeks ago?”

She wrote it down. Without looking up, she asked the next question. “And was this oral or anal?”

“Anal.”

Some more writing. “Were you penetrated, or were you the one penetrating?”

“I was penetrated.”

Her pen moved across the paper as she noted it down. “And did your partner use a condom or other form of contraceptive?”

“No.”

At this, she looked up. There was no judgment on her face or disgust. Taeyong trusted this woman, this doctor. “Okay.” She smiled and looked back at the clipboard. “Just a few more questions.”

The questioning lasted a few more minutes and then Ishigami-sensei handed off the clipboard to a nurse that came in. The nurse waited behind Ishigami-sensei.

“Taeyong-san, I highly recommend a blood test today,” Ishigami-sensei said gently. “Of course, the decision is up to you.”

Taeyong thought about it. He trusted Ishigami-sensei. She never did extra tests or prescribed extra medication if it was not necessary. He nodded. “That is fine,” he said. “I think that’s a good idea.”

She smiled. “Alright, Sato-san here will draw your blood, and then we can talk some more.”

Ishigami-sensei excused herself and the nurse prepared everything to draw his blood, washing her hands and pulling on gloves before she sat down. Taeyong sat still, letting her wrap the band around his arm and move forward with the blood draw. It took a few minutes and soon, she had her finger on his skin and she was placing a band-aid down.

“The blood test results will be ready in two to three hours,” she said, cleaning everything up. “We’ll give you a few minutes to change and then Ishigami-sensei will see you in her office.”

Taeyong changed back into his clothes and collected his belongings. He left the examination room and the nurse waiting outside motioned for him to follow her to a door at the start of the hall. The sign beside it had Ishigami-sensei’s name on it.

He entered the small room. She was sat at her desk, typing at her computer. She stopped and looked at him.

“Taeyong-san, please sit,” she said.

He got settled into one of the chairs in front of her desk. She smiled at him.

“So, everything looked normal, as I told you,” she started. “The blood test will check for STDs and STIs. Since your partner’s sexual history is unknown, we are doing this as a precaution.”

“I understand,” he replied. He paused. There was something else. “What else is there, Ishigami-sensei?”

She took a deep breath. It wasn’t bad news, but perhaps something unexpected. Taeyong mentally prepared himself.

“Taeyong-san, I am concerned that there could have been a slight possibility of conception the last time you had intercourse. Of course, with any act of unprotected sex during one’s cycle, conception is possible. Now, you and your partner did not have intercourse during your cycle, but three weeks before the start of it. Usually, this is not a problem. Unprotected sex outside of the cycle rarely results in successful conception, but since you are a male, the probability increases, especially if you were exposed to another omega in heat, or had a mate-induced or alpha-induced heat.”

Taeyong frowned. He leaned onto her desk, folding his hands over the dark wood. “I’m sorry, Ishigami-sensei, but are you saying that I could be pregnant, right now?”

“I am suggesting that we also test for pregnancy, yes,” Ishigami-sensei said.

“Ishigami-sensei, with all due respect, I do not think that’s possible,” Taeyong said. He felt his palms begin to get sweaty and his heartbeat accelerate. “I _can’t_ be pregnant.”

“Taeyong-san, there is a high chance that you are not. As I said, conception outside of heat is unlikely,” she said, reaching out to take his hands in hers. “But there is still a small chance that you are, and if you are, we will have to begin to help you through it. You are young and healthy, but pregnancy can be difficult for any male omega even at this age and health status.”

Taeyong took a deep breath, shaking off the nerves. “Of course,” he said. “Let’s do it.”

* * *

Johnny was in the area, so when Taeyong stepped out of the clinic and sent him a message, he was met with an invitation for a late lunch at a small American-style diner nearby.

He waited outside the diner, staring at his feet, and only looked up when he heard footsteps approaching and he smelled the hard, bitter yet sweet scent that came with Johnny.

“You okay?” he asked.

Taeyong waved his hand and motioned to the door of the diner.

They entered and were seated quickly. Taeyong only asked for a glass of water while Johnny asked for a glass of soda. The server noted their drinks down and left them to browse the menu.

Taeyong set his menu aside without sparing it so much as a glance and folded his hands over the table. Johnny read the menu in his hands for a moment before finally setting it down.

With a sigh, he looked up at him. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Taeyong answered.

He had been thinking, for the last twenty minutes, since he’d left Ishigami-sensei’s office. It was impossible that he was pregnant. He only had sex once, and it was not during his cycle; there was no possible way that he was carrying a child.

It had made him dizzy. He had gotten so dizzy he had to stop by a public restroom, prop himself up over the sink and then heave over a toilet bowl. Nothing had come out, but he had stayed there, over the toilet for a few minutes. He had washed his face in the sink and then come right to the diner.

Taeyong wanted a child, yes, but not now. Not when he was unsure of the future. Earlier, he had been scolded for ignoring his… what? Nakamoto-san was not his boyfriend, partner… he was nothing. He was simply a potential interest. And now? He could be the father of a child? Taeyong had met with him three times!

“Taeyong,” Johnny said, gently. It was the voice he used with the twins, calm and soothing, a little sweet and almost coaxing. “What is it?”

“Ishigami-sensei recommended a blood test,” Taeyong said.

Johnny waited for him to continue.

“I haven’t spoken to Nakamoto-san in two weeks,” he confessed. “The last time we met… I told you we were going to dinner, and afterward, we went back to my apartment, and… I slept with him.”

Taeyong watched as Johnny calmly closed the menu and folded his hands over it. “Okay,” he said. “And that is relevant to your doctor’s appointment, why?”

He knew that Johnny already knew. It was an obvious connection to make. Johnny just wanted him to say it. “She wanted to see if I am pregnant.”

“Right.” Johnny stayed quiet and the server passed by, holding a large tray with their drinks. She set them down and Johnny held up his hand, silently asking for a few more minutes. She bowed her head and left them alone. He turned back to Taeyong. “So you’re waiting for the results.”

“I am.”

“Okay.”

Johnny’s silence was making Taeyong nervous. Johnny was his best friend. His thoughts carried a lot of weight, probably more than Taeyong’s parents now. Taeyong wanted to know what he was thinking. Was he disappointed? Surprised? Or had he somehow expected it?

The server came back and they gave her their orders, falling back into the silence once she was gone.

Finally, Johnny took a deep breath. “She didn’t need to order that test,” Johnny said. “She already knew.”

Taeyong frowned. “What?”

Johnny took a sip of his soda. “She knew already.” He cleared his throat. “Taeyong, I… when Christie got pregnant, I knew before she did. There was something different about her before we found out. She got this new… scent, I guess, and I just knew. Something happens, you know I’m not good with the science, and alphas just can tell…”

Taeyong froze. “And you can smell that now?”

“It’s there. There is definitely something.”

“Then that means…”

Taeyong’s supervisor had already known. His comment made more sense now. _Perhaps you should look into changing your benefits package soon, Taeyong-san._

His current health plan said nothing about pregnancies, and if he or his partner became pregnant, it would be enough to consider changing to a different health plan that would cover it or file it as a medical emergency to be taken care of.

And Doyoung…

“I can’t be.”

“Taeyong, calm down,” Johnny said, reaching out to grab his hands. He carefully lifted his arm and pressed the inside of his wrist to Taeyong’s temple. “It’s okay.”

Taeyong felt himself relax a little. He took a deep breath. He met Johnny’s eyes. “I’ve been ignoring him,” he said, feeling a knot begin to form in his throat. “And now I have to tell him he’s going to be a dad?”

He prided himself on his responsibility. Yet he had been so irresponsible, he had made a huge life-changing mistake, and not only had he changed his life, but he had changed Nakamoto-san’s as well.

Mistake.

“It’s not a mistake,” Taeyong murmured.

Johnny tilted his head. “What’s that?”

“If I am… this is not a mistake,” he said.

Johnny still looked confused, but he tightened his hold on Taeyong’s hand. “Okay.”

The server came by, a large tray with two large dishes that had their food balanced on her palm. Johnny pulled his hands away so she could set the food out on the table, but his worried eyes remained on Taeyong.

Their entire meal, Johnny avoided the topic. He even avoided talking about the twins. He opted for talking about his job. He worked as an editor at a fashion magazine and he always had interesting stories from his workplace.

Taeyong managed to drive the thoughts away and focused on Johnny’s stories, laughing along.

They finished and Johnny placed his card onto the bill before Taeyong could even reach for his wallet. He pouted and Johnny laughed at him, telling him it’s been a while since he treated Taeyong to a meal.

Taeyong collected his things and got out of the booth, following Johnny outside.

“Christie has picked up the girls,” he said, checking his phone. “Do you want me to walk back to the clinic with you?”

“Ishigami-sensei can call me,” Taeyong said, feeling the nerves come back and settle onto every part of his body.

“Taeyong,” Johnny said knowingly. “I know that you want to hear the news in person. I can be there with you.”

“But Christie is waiting,” he insisted.

“Christie would kill me if she found out I let you go alone.”

Taeyong pouted again. “Alright, but you can’t tell Christie why you aren’t going home yet!”

“Of course not!”

Together, they began to walk down the sidewalk. It was still early and the streets not so busy, but it still took them a while before they were near the clinic.

“Let’s get something sweet,” Johnny said, stopping in front of a pastry shop a few minutes from the clinic. “It’s been a while since I’ve eaten something like this.”

Johnny went in before Taeyong could tell him no. He followed him to the counter and listened as Johnny ordered a sweet red bean-filled pastry and a hot coffee. He got another for Taeyong, who accepted it after a look from Johnny. He also asked for a few extra pieces of bread and sweets in a separate bag.

They sat inside the small shop, eating their bread and drinking their coffee. Taeyong pulled out a file he was reviewing and Johnny began to play a game on his phone.

It was almost another 45 minutes of sitting in the shop before Taeyong’s phone rang. He pulled it out and answered.

“Hello, Lee Taeyong-san? This is Matsuoka Haru from the Ishihara Clinic, calling on behalf of a blood test you got today during your appointment.”

“Yes, yes. This is him.”

“Lee-san, the results for your blood test are ready. Would you be available to see Ishigami-sensei today to discuss the results, or would you prefer to speak with her via phone call?”

“I can go. I am nearby. I can be there soon.”

“Wonderful. Please let the receptionist know. Ishigami-sensei will be expecting you.”

The call cut off and Taeyong set his phone down onto the table. Johnny looked at him.

“It’s time to go?”

Taeyong nodded.

Johnny helped him up and out of the shop. They walked down the street slowly, Johnny placing a hand on Taeyong’s lower back, saying a few words of comfort every few seconds.

They reached the clinic and discarded their empty coffee cups in the bin outside before entering. It was empty. The receptionist looked up.

Taeyong approached the front desk. “Lee Taeyong,” he said. “Ishigami-sensei was expecting me?”

“Ah, of course,” she said. She stood from her seat and motioned for Taeyong to follow her. She stopped and looked at Johnny.

Taeyong nodded and she smiled.

Johnny trailed behind them both. They walked into the hall with all the doors and stopped in front of Ishigami-sensei’s door. The receptionist knocked and opened, saying something that was muffled. She stepped back and opened the door for them.

They stepped inside.

“Oh!” Ishigami-sensei exclaimed when she looked up. Her eyes were on Johnny. “Taeyong-san, it’s very nice to see you again, and…?”

“Ishigami-sensei, this is my good friend, Suh Johnny,” Taeyong said. “He wanted to accompany me.”

“Of course,” she said. Her eyes fell to Johnny’s hand, where a simple band was on his finger. She cleared her throat. Whether she thought Johnny could be the father of the child Taeyong was carrying, she didn’t show it. “Please sit.”

They got comfortable in the chairs. She pulled up something on her computer.

“The results came back, and there were no signs of STDs or STIs,” she said, scrolling down the document. “Everything looked great. And as for the results of the pregnancy test…”

“I am, aren’t I?”

Ishigami-sensei stopped and turned to him. She nodded. “Yes, Taeyong-san, you are pregnant. Because of the way we count pregnancy, you are about four weeks along, but really, you have only had the embryo growing in you for a little under three weeks.” She reached for something underneath her desk and then set it out across the table. They were several pamphlets with different information across each one. They were bright and bold, with photos of happy people and pretty landscapes. “We have various options for you to choose from, and we will support you in the decision you make.”

Some of the pamphlets were for termination services. Taeyong felt the bread he ate earlier want to come out. He swallowed hard.

He looked towards Johnny, whose face remained blank.

Taeyong was unprepared. He could not bring a child into this world now. He wanted to have time to prepare. He wanted to fall in love, get married, and then have a child. But he had skipped a few steps, or maybe he would do it in a different order. Not everyone got the life they wanted, right?

He looked back at Ishigami-sensei. “Ishigami-sensei, I do plan on keeping the baby,” he said firmly. “So, do I have to schedule another appointment?”

Ishigami-sensei smiled. She removed some of the pamphlets and Taeyong carefully collected the ones that remained. “Of course, another appointment is to be scheduled. It’s still too early to do anything like an ultrasound. The baby is the size of a poppy seed right now. The first appointment after finding out you’re pregnant is done at around eight weeks.”

“And I can schedule that today?”

“I would be very happy to do that for you myself.”

* * *

Taeyong held Johnny’s phone in his hand. He watched as Christie moved through the apartment, entered the bedroom, and then focused on the two girls lying on the bed.

“Girls, say hi to Taeyong!” she exclaimed. She moved the phone closer and focused on each of the girls for a few seconds.

Taeyong smiled. “Hi, Natsuki-chan!” he exclaimed. “Hi, Kahi-chan!”

Christie laughed, turning the phone. Her face appeared on the screen. “John said you had a doctor’s appointment today.” Christie sat at their dining table, propping the phone up on something. She had an array of papers before her and a few pens. She picked one up but made no move to work. “He joined you?”

“He did,” he answered. “I’m sorry I took him tonight.”

Christie waved him off. “Nonsense, I’m glad you took him!” She smiled, eyes turning into small crescents on her face. “He’s like my third baby here! He needed a night out with you, Taeyong.”

“It’s been a while,” Taeyong said, smiling.

“So what did the doctor say? Is everything okay?”

Taeyong nodded and Christie smiled. She looked down at the paper on the table and began to write on it. She was waiting for Taeyong to continue, but he didn’t. He bit the inside of his cheek, wondering how to tell her, or if he should tell her at all.

She looked up and set the pen down. “Well?”

“Christie, I…” Taeyong cleared his throat. “I received some news today.”

She pulled the phone closer to her and suddenly, her face took up the entire screen. “What’s that?”

Taeyong laughed. He reached up to scratch the back of his neck. “I’m not sure how to say this but…”

A loud clattering interrupted Taeyong and he jumped, looking over his shoulder. He saw Johnny holding two pots in his hand, cursing under his breath.

“Was that John?”

“Give me a second, Christie,” Taeyong said, setting Johnny’s phone down and standing up. He looked at Johnny, giving him a look.

“I’m sorry!” he exclaimed. “They just fell out. I’ll put them back right now. Did you tell Christie yet?”

“I was about to,” Taeyong said, watching as Johnny put the pots back into the wrong place. He sighed, but waved him over, making him sit in the chair beside him. He sat back down and picked the phone back up.

“John!”

“Hi,” Johnny said, waving at his wife.

“You were there!” she exclaimed. “What did the doctor say?”

Johnny looked at Taeyong. “It’s better if he tells it,” he said.

Christie waited.

“The doctor said that I’m pregnant,” Taeyong finally said. “About four weeks.”

Christie’s mouth fell open a little and her eyes widened. She was flustered. Even through the phone, Taeyong could see that she was just about shaking with excitement. “Taeyong! Oh my, congratulations!”

Taeyong smiled, but it was halfhearted. Of course, Christie noticed this. She quickly composed herself and set the phone back down, propping it against something once again.

“Am I congratulating you prematurely?”

“No, no,” Taeyong said. “Thank you.”

“But?”

“I’m not necessarily… with the person who is the father…”

“Oh!”

Christie was about to say something but Johnny quickly pulled the phone out of Taeyong’s hand and brought it to his face. “Don’t say it. I know what you’re going to say, so I am going to stop you right there. I’ll be coming home soon. Please kiss the girls goodnight from me. Thank you, honey. Bye!”

Johnny quickly hung up and set his phone onto the table, screen down. He sighed.

“Thank you,” Taeyong said.

He loved Christie. Taeyong had come to see Christie as a sister over the last nine years. Even before Johnny began dating Christie, Taeyong had seen her as a person he could trust and confide in. But he knew that Christie was more traditional in her views. She was not judgmental and she was always respectful of people with different views. She was accepting of differences, but she still would express her thoughts in a very kind, respectful manner. Taeyong knew that if she did that here, there could be a negative effect on their friendship.

“She’s very excited for you, more than anything else,” Johnny said, wrapping an arm around Taeyong’s shoulders.

Taeyong took in the scent of his best friend. Having Johnny in his life for over a decade had become something Taeyong relied on. Always comforting, always reliable, always there; that was Johnny. The scent of fresh bitter coffee and spicy cinnamon over sweet apples had become something that calmed Taeyong down, soothing and warm, wrapping around him like a thick blanket on a cold day.

He leaned into Johnny, sighing.

“Is this the right thing to do?”

Johnny said nothing.

Taeyong thought about it.

It was his baby. It was Nakamoto-san’s baby, of course, but this child growing in him was also part of him. This baby could have his lips, his eyes, his nose—this baby was _his_.

If he told Nakamoto-san and he wanted nothing to do with Taeyong, it would be okay. Taeyong felt an odd calmness settle around him. It would be okay.

He sat up, moving away from Johnny. “Of course this is the right thing to do.” He looked at Johnny. “It’s going to be okay, right?”

“If there is anyone that can raise a kickass kid, it’s you, Taeyong,” Johnny answered with a smile.

* * *

Nakamoto-san called Taeyong on Saturday, late in the morning. Taeyong picked up after a few seconds, half hoping that he picked up too late. Unfortunately, he hadn’t. He heard a deep inhale from the other side.

“Hello, Taeyong-san?” he heard.

Taeyong swallowed hard. “Nakamoto-san, hello.”

“I’ve been…” Nakamoto-san trailed off.

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong said. He pressed a hand to his chest, taking a moment to calm down. “I was busy with work.”

It was a lie. Taeyong knew it was a lie. He hadn’t been to work the entire week. He was sure that Nakamoto-san knew it was a lie as well.

“Of course, I understand,” Nakamoto-san said anyway. “You shouldn’t work too much, Taeyong-san. It’s not good for your health.”

Taeyong laughed, but it sounded hollow to his ears. “I’ll make sure to take a vacation,” he said. He reached out to grab the remote to his television. He turned it off.

Nakamoto-san took a moment. “I was wondering if I could see you again,” he said.

Taeyong bit down on his bottom lip. “Yes, I’d like that,” he said. “When would be a good time?”

Another moment of hesitation. “I was… thinking… today, if possible?”

“Today is…” Taeyong blew some air from his mouth. “I can do today.”

Nakamoto-san said something under his breath. “Does lunch sound okay?”

“Lunch is great,” Taeyong said. He decided in his mind without thinking about it twice. He very quickly added: “I have something I want to tell you.”

Taeyong knew that on the other side of the phone, wherever Nakamoto-san was in Tokyo, he was frozen in place. “Oh?” he heard after a long pause. “Well, I look forward to seeing you. How about the park near your complex at eleven-thirty? Then you can lead me your favorite nearby spot for lunch.”

“That’s perfect,” Taeyong said. “I’ll see you then, Nakamoto-san.”

Taeyong ended the call. He threw his phone down onto his couch and got up, hurrying to the bathroom to empty his stomach into the porcelain toilet bowl. He groaned as he reached out to flush and pushed himself up, stepping in front of the sink.

He propped himself up, a hand on each side of the sink. He eventually turned the faucet on and washed his hands, face, and pulled out his toothbrush and toothpaste.

When he was done, he went to his room and pulled out some clothes to change into. He had spent the entire week in comfortable clothes, he felt odd as he put on some jeans and a sweater. The sweater was large enough that it covered any bloating that was beginning to happen.

The park was about ten minutes away and it was already nearing eleven o’clock. Taeyong smoothed down the front of his sweater and collected his belongings, making sure he had his wallet, phone, and keys.

He returned to his living room. He had hardly left his couch, having all the files from work laid out on the coffee table. He had been reviewing a team’s progress report when Nakamoto-san called. He quickly picked up all of the files, setting them into one neat pile on the coffee table. He brought his empty dishes from breakfast to the sink and washed them.

It took up enough time. When he closed his apartment door behind him, it was already ten past eleven. He walked down the hall and pushed the button for the elevator, watching as the down arrow above it lit up.

He felt the nerves begin to grow as he went into the elevator and as he walked out onto the sidewalk. He pulled the sleeves of the sweater over his hands, clutching onto the fabric with tight fists.

He was in heat right now and leaving his apartment was not recommended, even if he was still in proestrus. He was vulnerable and every responsible part of him was yelling at him to go back to his apartment, but he knew that it was now or a month from now, and Taeyong did not want Nakamoto-san to find out when he was nearly two months pregnant. Even if he was being irresponsible with himself, Taeyong was being responsible for the little thing inside him.

He reached the park after nearly fifteen minutes. He sat at a bench and waited. Nakamoto-san still had five minutes to show up.

Thankfully, no people were passing through where Taeyong was sitting so he didn’t have to worry about the distasteful looks or hungry stares that people in heat received. He busied himself on his phone, checking his emails and opening up a mobile game.

Like the first time Taeyong met Nakamoto-san, he approached carefully and asked: “Lee Taeyong-san?”

He looked up. This time, Nakamoto-san was wearing a thick, maroon knit sweater and black jeans. He smiled down at him.

Taeyong stood, bringing his hands in front of his stomach. He wrung his hands. “Nakamoto-san.” He looked at him. “Can we talk before we go have lunch? I’m afraid this is rather important.”

Nakamoto-san nodded. He motioned to the bench and they both sat. Taeyong kept a small distance between them.

He looked at Nakamoto-san and wondered if he caught it already. Johnny said he had noticed it right away. But Nakamoto-san didn’t look like he had. Perhaps Johnny only had picked up on it because he knew how Taeyong was supposed to smell and Nakamoto-san hadn’t because it had been nearly three weeks since the last time they’d seen each other and they hadn’t been together enough to remember each other’s scents exactly.

He waited for a moment, and Nakamoto-san looked at him expectantly.

“I’m sorry, this is just…”

“I understand,” Nakamoto-san said gently. He smiled softly.

“Nakamoto-san, I…” Taeyong took a deep breath. He stared at his hands, fingertips peeking out from his sleeves. “The last time we met, we did something.”

“I remember,” Nakamoto-san said. “Perhaps we moved too quickly. I know we both wanted this to move slowly. I understand your avoidance if that’s what the last few weeks have been. I wanted to apologize for—”

Taeyong let out a small laugh. If Nakamoto-san thought they had moved too quickly by having sex, Taeyong wasn’t sure what he’d think when he told him that they had already started their family.

Nakamoto-san looked confused by Taeyong’s sudden laughter.

He waved his hands in front of him. “I’m sorry, Nakamoto-san. I’m not laughing at you. I’m… I completely agree that we moved too quickly,” he said. He bit his bottom lip. “I’m afraid that we’ve moved too quickly, more than you think.”

“What do you mean, Taeyong-san?”

“Nakamoto-san, I understand if you need time to gather your feelings once I tell you this. And I understand if you would like to not have lunch with me. Actually, instead of lunch, I would rather go home after I tell you this, with all due respect. I agreed to see you because I needed to tell you this very important thing, and some small part of me is hoping that you will get up and walk away when I’m done.”

Nakamoto-san waited.

It was better to just get it out there. There was no beating around the bush with something like this.

“I am pregnant.”

Taeyong waited.

Nakamoto-san sat up straighter. “I’m… sorry?” He frowned a little. “You’re…?”

“Yes,” Taeyong said. He felt tears begin to prick at his eyes and he inwardly cursed at himself. He watched Nakamoto-san’s face, a look of realization spreading over his features. “I am about four weeks along, but the doctor said that the embryo has only been growing for about three… and the only person that I have been with, that I was with three weeks ago, was you.”

“You’re…” Nakamoto-san stared at him. “And you’ve known how long?”

“I found out on Wednesday, during my doctor’s appointment.”

Nakamoto-san looked bewildered. “I’m… Taeyong-san, I can’t…”

“I understand,” Taeyong said, holding up his hand to stop him from saying more. “I understand. I only wanted to let you know. I understand that you might not want to—”

“You’re misunderstanding me. I wasn’t finished,” Nakamoto-san interrupted. He met Taeyong’s eyes. “I was going to say I can’t believe it. You are carrying my baby?”

Taeyong swallowed hard. He nodded.

Nakamoto-san scooted a bit closer. He motioned to Taeyong’s abdomen. “May I?”

“I…” Taeyong moved his hands away and let Nakamoto-san place his on his still flat stomach.

He looked at Taeyong, eyes wide with awe and wonder. “You’re going to have my baby?”

Taeyong blinked a few times, feeling the tears begin to fall from his eyes.

He had expected the worst. He expected Nakamoto-san to stand up and walk away. He expected him to ask Taeyong to terminate and never to contact him again. He didn’t expect Nakamoto-san to look at him, eyes filled with an odd mixture of joy and cautiousness, hands on his stomach, thanking him.

“Taeyong-san, I… thank you,” he murmured. He came closer and then moved to wrap his hands around Taeyong, pulling him into his embrace. He pulled back a little. “I can smell it,” he whispered. “It’s sweeter, and you are… in heat.”

Taeyong pulled back, feeling his cheeks flush. He wiped his face. “I’m sorry,” he said, still dabbing at his cheeks with the sleeves of his sweater. “I would like to go home now. I’m sorry. I know I promised you lunch, but I… I, I’m sorry.”

Nakamoto-san grabbed Taeyong’s hands. “Let me walk you back,” he said.

Taeyong accepted reluctantly. Nakamoto-san didn’t let go of his hand as they walked back to Taeyong’s apartment complex. It was getting busier, but no one spared them a glance, though Taeyong was sure that people were most likely aware that he was in heat. Nakamoto-san by his side was enough to warn off anyone that dared look at him. It was slightly embarrassing and Taeyong felt shy, feeling like he was falling into the role of omega that people thought he should be, protected by his tough alpha. But Nakamoto-san was not _his_ alpha. He was just an alpha, one that happened to be walking Taeyong back to his apartment.

“Taeyong-san, this news is… a lot,” Nakamoto-san said once they stopped in front of Taeyong’s complex.

“Nakamoto-san, I know this is a lot, and I’m sorry that this has all happened so quickly.”

Nakamoto-san raised his arm and touched Taeyong’s temple with the inside of his wrist. Taeyong froze. “Yuta,” he said. “My name is Yuta, and I think that it’s time you call me that. We will be seeing each other more, right?”

Taeyong blinked. “O-of course,” he said. “Yuta-san,” he added as an afterthought. His name was new coming off his tongue, but it already felt familiar.

He smiled. “Taeyong-san,” he said quietly.

Before Taeyong could say anything else, he leaned in and kissed him.

Taeyong knew where this would lead.

“Come inside,” he said against his mouth.

“I’d love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The past two weeks have been ROUGH for me, but I am here, and I had a fun time writing this part out over the last few days and releasing all that emotion into something productive! I had a lot of trouble keeping the word count to ~9,000 because I wanted to put so much into this part but held myself back to be consistent! (I love writing chapters that are like 32k words long, see: my other Yutae fic...) 
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for your sweet comments. I sincerely appreciate them and they made me happy!


	4. The Heat You Left Just Won’t Subside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone had a great October!
> 
> The way I wrote this... I realized that each update is around the time the events are happening, but six years from now! So this takes place around October 31-November 3!
> 
> Also, realized I made a mistake. Johnny is /not/ 29, he is thirty. So Taeyong is also 30, and Yuta has just turned 30! Sorry about that!
> 
> Chapter title from The Aces’ “Volcanic Love” (Hm, it seems there's a trend here...)

Taeyong opened the door and was met with the sight of Yuta-san, dressed in a tight sweater and tight jeans. He had a bag over his shoulder and held a coffee carrier in his hands, two warm cups sitting inside. He looked surprised to see Taeyong, his mouth forming a small ‘oh’. Taeyong ignored it and smiled instead.

“Yuta-san,” he said. He opened the door wider and motioned for him to come into the genkan.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” he murmured as he crossed over the threshold with a small bow of his head. He looked at Taeyong with wide eyes. “You wear glasses?”

Taeyong reached up and touched the rim of his glasses self-consciously for a second before pushing them up the bridge of his nose. “Yeah,” he replied dumbly. He cleared his throat and motioned to the guest slippers. “Please come in.”

Yuta-san took off his shoes and put on the guest slippers. He followed behind Taeyong quietly. Once they were in the living room and Taeyong had turned back to look at him, he spoke.

“I brought coffee,” he said, raising the coffee carrier in his hand. His eyes wandered down to Taeyong’s abdomen, a sudden realization dawning on his face. “Although, maybe I should’ve brought tea… or juice.”

Taeyong brought his hands in front of his stomach, wringing them. “It’s… it’s fine,” he said. “I can still drink coffee, just not too much.”

“Alright,” Yuta-san said. He looked around the living room. “Where can I…?”

“Oh!” Taeyong quickly spun around and motioned to the dining table. “There is fine.”

Yuta-san walked to the table and set the carrier down, pulling the two cups out. He approached Taeyong, offering one of the cups.

Taeyong took it and brought it close to his lips. He inhaled first, taking in the smell of the drink, and then took a small sip. It was hot, but not hot enough to burn his lips. He took a larger drink from it, sighing contently as the liquid ran down his throat, warming his insides.

“Yuta-san, please sit,” Taeyong said, motioning to the couch.

Taeyong followed Yuta-san’s lead, sitting in the armchair beside the couch. Yuta-san was looking around Taeyong’s apartment, taking everything in. It was technically the first time Yuta-san had seen it, despite having been inside plenty of times already.

They remained quiet, drinking their coffee. Taeyong focused his gaze on the thick book on the coffee table. Yuta-san continued to look around.

“Is that your family?” he asked suddenly.

Taeyong looked up and then towards the direction Yuta-san was staring in. He spotted the frame immediately. He set his cup down onto the coffee table and stood, moving towards the shelf. He grabbed the frame and returned to the couch. He maintained a bit of distance as he sat down.

“It is,” he said. He offered the frame to Yuta-san, who quickly set his cup down to take it in both his hands. “Those are my parents. That’s my older sister, her husband, and my nephew.”

Yuta-san looked at the picture intently, his eyes scanning the faces of Taeyong’s family members. He moved a finger to hover over his sister. “Your sister… she was…”

“She was pregnant, yes,” Taeyong said. He studied the photo himself, leaning in a little to get a better look. His sister was smiling brightly, hands placed on her round belly. “My niece. She’s nearly seven now.”

Yuta-san’s finger moved to the person beside her. “And that’s you.”

Taeyong scrunched his face up. “Yeah, that’s me.”

Yuta-san brought the frame closer, taking a good look at Taeyong.

The photograph was from seven years ago. Taeyong was dressed in his black cap and gown. He was smiling big and bright. He looked younger. The photograph showed a newly graduated Taeyong that hadn’t been worn down by work or worries quite yet.

“Very cute,” Yuta-san said under his breath. He lowered the frame and just looked at it. He finally looked back up at Taeyong. “You look the same.”

Taeyong blushed. “I… don’t,” he said quietly. He reached out to take the frame back. He placed it onto the coffee table, face down.

Yuta-san blinked at him. He looked straight forward, tearing his eyes away from Taeyong. “You do,” he said, grabbing his coffee again. He took a long sip from it. He glanced at Taeyong. “Tell me, how old do people tell you you look like?”\

“Thirty,” Taeyong answered quickly, moving away from the couch and going back to the armchair. “And I’m thirty so, I look my age. I don’t look like a twenty-two-year-old.”

“I think you’re lying,” Yuta-san said. “You look twenty-five, max.”

Taeyong laughed. He laughed, loud and hard, enough for his shoulders to shake. “Yuta-san, you’re too much,” he said.

Yuta-san smiled behind the rim of his cup. “I’m just telling the truth.”

“Now, how old do people tell you you look like?”

Yuta-san didn’t need more than a second to think about it. “Twenty-three,” he said with confidence. “They’re amazed when I tell them I’m thirty.”

Taeyong laughed again. He stopped when he remembered something. “Your birthday, it passed recently, right?”

“October twenty-sixth,” he answered. “Just passed on Sunday.”

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong said. “I didn’t get a gift for you.”

“Oh, I think I got quite the gift from you, Taeyong-san,” he said, a teasing smile playing on his lips. “Don’t you recall?”

“I…”

Taeyong’s face burned as he remembered. Last week… all week until Monday morning, Yuta-san had been here, but Taeyong had been all out of sorts. They hadn’t done much talking at all. Taeyong’s mind had been elsewhere, taken over by thoughts that only revolved around Yuta-san’s body and the need to have him close.

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong said, although unsure of what for.

Yuta-san just shook his head, chuckling.

There was another moment of silence.

Yuta-san set his coffee down again and reached for his bag, opening it and pulling out a few books. He placed them on the coffee table. Taeyong peered at the covers. Two of them had a similar image printed on the cover. A young woman with a round belly and a bright smile, like Taeyong’s sister in his graduation photo. The last one only had the title printed all across the cover.

“I bought these,” Yuta-san said. He cleared his throat. “I’m not sure how helpful they’ll be. I got them from a secondhand bookstore. Three hundred yen each.”

“That’s cheap,” Taeyong mumbled. He grabbed the one closest to him, the one with the title in large font across the front. _ You’re Going to Be a Dad!: How to Get (Both of You) Through the Next Nine Months. _ He snorted. “There’s no wonder about why.”

He set the book down and looked at Yuta-san. “I appreciate the gesture, Yuta-san.”

Yuta-san frowned. “It’s… not something I did to be nice, Taeyong-san,” he said, tilting his head to the side. “It’s not a suggestion. I bought these because I want to know how to best get through this together. This is my first child and I’d like to do it correctly.”

“I’d hope so,” Taeyong said wryly. He looked at the books again.

“Was it wrong of me?” Yuta-san asked. He looked worried now. “I can take these back.”

Taeyong sighed. “No, it’s fine,” he said. He got up and collected the books, stacking them on top of each other and hoisting them up. “I’ll… put these away for now. We can read them another time.”

Yuta-san shot up, already reaching for the books. “Let me,” he said, taking them away. He looked at Taeyong. “Where do you want me to take them?”

Taeyong stared at him for a moment. “This way,” he said, turning and going down the hall to his bedroom. He spoke as he walked, Yuta-san following behind him. “You know, I can still do this by myself. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean that I can’t carry some books to my room.”

They entered Taeyong’s room and Taeyong motioned to the small bookshelf against the wall. He watched as Yuta-san walked over and kneeled, scanning over the spines of the books that occupied it.

“I know that,” Yuta-san said as he began to slot the books into the places they could fit. “But does it hurt you to let someone else do everything for you?”

Taeyong remained silent. Yuta-san stood and turned around. He had his hands on his hips.

“Taeyong-san?” 

“I’ve always done everything for myself,” Taeyong answered, turning around and walking out of the room. He heard Yuta-san rushing to follow. “I’ve lived alone for years. I don’t need anyone to help me do simple things.”

As they reached the end of the hall, Yuta-san caught Taeyong by the wrist, pulling him back. Taeyong turned, ready to say something, but Yuta-san held up his other hand, stopping him.

“And what about a few months from now?” he asked. “You will not need anyone when your feet are swollen and your back is aching? When you can’t get out of bed?”

“Plenty of people go through this alone,” Taeyong said with a scowl. “I don’t see why I can’t either.”

Yuta-san pulled him closer. “Because you don’t have to,” he said quickly, voice low. It sent shivers down Taeyong’s spine. “Those people… they may or may not have a choice. They may be doing it alone because they have to. But you don’t have to, Taeyong-san. Why do it alone when you can have someone by your side?”

Taeyong held his breath. Yuta-san was close. Too close. He pulled back a little and released his breath, looking away from Yuta-san. “And if the person doesn’t want to be by my side?”

Yuta-san raised his hand, fingertips soft against Taeyong’s chin as he turned his face back. “Where did you get that idea? Has this person made you feel like you have to do it alone?”

“No.” Taeyong’s breath hitched in the back of his throat. “But what if he feels like that deep inside?”

“I doubt he does, Taeyong-san.” Yuta-san smiled and it made Taeyong blush a little. “I think he’s been trying to show you he wants to be by your side. He bought books, Taeyong-san. Do you think someone who feels like that deep inside would do that?”

Taeyong broke away from Yuta-san’s grasp. He created some space between them. “It’s almost three.”

“We should get going then.”

* * *

The Ishihara Clinic waiting room was rather full for a late afternoon on a Wednesday. There were a total of five women taking up spots on the plush couches and armchairs. They were on their phones, reading the magazines that were on the center table, or filling out paperwork.

Taeyong sat on one of the couches, taking the left side, and Yuta-san stood beside the couch awkwardly with his hands behind his back. Taeyong had told him to sit but he had declined. So Taeyong didn’t ask him again. He simply pulled out his phone and began to look at his emails.

Because Taeyong had just ended his heat, he hadn’t been to work for the entirety of the month. He was expected back on Monday. While he hadn’t done as much work as he wanted to, he had managed to keep up with most of the teams and was able to get out some revisions to the appropriate people via email.

“You work too much,” Yuta-san said.

Taeyong looked up at Yuta, who was peering at his phone’s screen. He turned it over, setting it on his thigh. “I have to,” he answered.

“If you continue doing that, you’ll get sick.” Yuta-san was biting at his bottom lip. “And the baby will get sick.”

Taeyong said nothing. He resumed what he was doing before. He heard Yuta-san sigh.

It was a few more minutes before a young nurse walked out, holding a clipboard. “Lee Taeyong-san?” she said.

Taeyong stood and made his way to her, Yuta-san following on his heels. The nurse smiled at them and led them back to the long hall with many doors. They stopped in front of Examination Room 8.

“Alright, Lee Taeyong-san, my name is Moriya Risa. Ishigami-sensei will be right in, but before she comes in to speak to you, we’re going to have to do a few basic things. Much like your other appointments, we’ll do a small checkup,” she said, already setting up the scales in the corner. She motioned for him to come closer. 

Taeyong slipped his shoes off and when she stepped back from the scales, he stepped on. He closed his eyes, standing still, waiting for her to finish.

“Okay, you may step off now,” she said. She jotted the numbers down. “Now, I’ll take your blood pressure.”

Taeyong sat on the examination table and let her do what she needed to do. She slipped the band over his arm and Taeyong felt the pressure of it as it measured. When it was done, she wrote it down and took it off.

He then let her take his blood. It was quick and it wasn’t long before she was placing a small bandaid over where she had pricked him.

“Alrighty, Lee-san,” Moriya-san said happily. “Ishigami-sensei will be right with you.”

She left with a small bow of her head. Taeyong sighed, shoulders slumping.

“You do this every time you come here?”

He looked at Yuta-san, who had been quietly sitting on the chair across the exam table the entire time. Taeyong blinked a few times. “Yeah,” he answered. “Every six months.”

“Wow,” Yuta-san breathed out. “But we’ll be coming here more often now, right?”

Taeyong frowned a little. “Well, you don't need to be here, Yuta-san,” he said.

“But it is,” Yuta-san countered. “Why wouldn’t I be here? That’s my baby, too, and you’re my―”

The door opened before Yuta-san could finish. Ishigami-sensei popped her head in, a wide smile on her face. She carefully stepped inside, almost tiptoeing her way in. She had on a pale pink dress with matching heels. Her white coat was bright as ever. She held a clipboard in her hands.

“Taeyong-san!” she exclaimed as she approached, opening her arms.

Taeyong smiled. “Ishigami-sensei,” he said, “It’s been a while.”

She put her free hand on her hip. “It has, hasn’t it?” she asked, the smile never leaving her face. Her gaze moved from Taeyong to Yuta-san. “Oh!”

“Ishigami-sensei, this is―”

“Nakamoto Yuta,” Yuta-san interrupted. He stood up and offered Ishigami-sensei his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

She took it very graciously. “Ishigami Kumiko,” she introduced. “It’s lovely to meet you, Nakamoto-san. I’m very happy you could accompany Taeyong-san to this very special appointment.”

Yuta-san smiled. “I am very happy to be here, Ishigami-sensei.”

She looked at him curiously, a small smile on her face. She turned back to Taeyong. “Well, let’s get started,” she said. “We’re going to find out a lot today!”

Ishigami-sensei sat on the stool she always sat on and pulled out her pen, clicking it. She proceeded to ask an array of questions, which Taeyong answered honestly. There were several intimate questions and while Taeyong was no longer bothered and could give blunt responses, it was clear that Yuta-san was very embarrassed.

“Taeyong-san, when was the last time you were sexually active?”

“This Sunday,” Taeyong answered.

She quickly wrote it down and proceeded to the next question. “And was this oral or anal sex?”

“Anal.” Taeyong glanced at Yuta-san as Ishigami-sensei wrote. His face was flushed and he was fidgeting in the chair. Taeyong returned his attention to Ishigami-sensei.

“And were you penetrated, or were you the one penetrating?”

Another glance at Yuta-san, who looked horrified. Taeyong answered Ishigami-sensei’s question the same way he had last time. “I was penetrated.”

Ishigami-sensei was not at all bothered by the fact that Yuta-san was also in the room. She simply continued with her questions. She looked up at Taeyong. “And did your partner use a condom or other form of contraceptive?”

Taeyong had been out of sorts. He couldn’t remember the details well. He looked towards Yuta, who looked completely overwhelmed with embarrassment. Taeyong wondered if Yuta-san now understood why he was so reluctant to have him sit in on the appointment. He didn’t want to cause Yuta-san to suffer more, but he needed to know the answer to the question.

“Yuta-san? Did you?” he asked.

Ishigami-sensei swiveled around on her stool to face Yuta-san. “Pardon, Nakamoto-san,” she said with her gentle voice, “Did you use a condom or another form of contraceptive?”

Yuta-san took a deep breath. “No,” he said.

Ishigami-sensei turned back around, writing that down. “Just a few more questions,” she said.

When it was all done a few minutes later, Ishigami-sensei stood up and moved to the door.

“I’ll give you a few minutes to change, Taeyong-san,” she said.

Taeyong sighed, grabbing the folded gown. He looked at Yuta-san. “You want to stay here? It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” he said.

Yuta-san stood up, waving his hands in front of him. “No, no,” he said, already moving to the door, “That’s fine. I’ll step out. I’ll go back to the waiting room.”

“You’re not going to stay?”

“I’m staying,” Yuta-san replied. “But out there. I’ll be there when you get out.”

Taeyong bit down on his bottom lip. “I don’t mind, you know,” he said. “You can face the wall.”

Yuta-san let out a surprised laugh. “Taeyong-san, that’s… I can step outside. It’s fine.”

“Do you want me to tell a nurse to bring you back when it’s done?” Taeyong asked. “Ishigami-sensei is going to do an ultrasound after.”

“An ultrasound?” Yuta-san’s voice was soft, surprised. “To see the baby?”

“Of course.”

“Would that be fine?”

“I’ll tell the nurse.”

Yuta-san stepped out. Taeyong got off the exam table with a small sigh. He quickly changed into the gown and sat back on the table. He waited for a few minutes.

Ishigami-sensei returned. She got ready for the pelvic exam, washing her hands and snapping on the gloves. She rolled the stool over and prepared the stirrups. “Let me help you get your legs up,” she said.

Taeyong laid back and waited. He heard the familiar sound of the tools she used.

“I’m going to lift the gown a bit,” she said. Taeyong felt her do so. “Now, I’m inserting the first tool. A bit of pressure and then it’ll ease up.”

Taeyong relaxed, staring up at the ceiling. “Ishigami-sensei,” he said after a few minutes. She hummed in response. “Yuta-san… Uh, I mean, Nakamoto-san… he’s my partner.”

“Is he?” she asked. “You didn’t need to tell me, Taeyong-san. That is your business. I’m honored you feel comfortable telling me. I’m removing the tool.”

“You’re my doctor, Ishigami-sensei. I trust you more than I trust anyone else,” Taeyong said. Ishigami-sensei laughed and Taeyong smiled. “He’s great, Ishigami-sensei. He… he’s going to come to every appointment with me.”

“I’m going to insert the second tool,” she said. And then she continued: “I’m very happy to hear that you have a good, strong support system in place, Taeyong-san.”

“He was very excited when I told him,” Taeyong said. “He never once thought of not keeping the baby. He bought books for us. Books, Ishigami-sensei!”

He knew that Ishigami-sensei didn’t need to know all the details about him and Yuta-san, but it felt nice telling someone. He hadn’t had the chance to speak to any of his friends. It didn’t feel right to tell them through a call or text. Johnny knew, but since Taeyong had gone into heat, he hadn’t been able to contact him and tell him what happened after he told Yuta-san.

Ishigami-sensei laughed again. She said nothing more. Only after a moment did she speak: “I’m going to remove the tool. Then one more left.”

Taeyong waited. He felt the slight intrusion of the last tool. “Ishigami-sensei,” he said after a few seconds. “He’s great.”

It was a moment before she answered. “I understand that this might be intimidating, Taeyong-san, but having someone beside you through this will certainly ease the worries that are on your shoulders,” she said. “I’m removing the tool now.”

She helped him sit back up on the table. She smiled at him.

“I’ll give you a few minutes to change and bring Nakamoto-san back for the ultrasound now.”

She left the room and Taeyong changed back into his clothes, thinking.

Yuta-san had been nothing but excited. The delight on his face was something Taeyong would never forget and years from now, whether they remained together or not, Taeyong would be able to tell their child how much love Yuta-san had for them from the moment he knew of their existence. There wouldn’t be a day where their child wouldn’t feel loved by Yuta-san. Of course, Taeyong loved them already as well, but he wondered if he looked as awestruck as Yuta-san when they talked about it.

Taeyong sat on the exam table, waiting. 

The door opened a couple of minutes later and Ishigami-sensei walked in, followed by Yuta-san. She motioned to the chair.

“Please pull the chair a bit closer, Nakamoto-san.” She turned to Taeyong. “Taeyong-san, please lay back on the table.”

Taeyong followed her instructions. She prepared a few things and a young nurse entered the room with the ultrasound machine. The two began to set everything up.

Yuta-san had the chair right beside the exam table. He looked at Taeyong. “Are you nervous?”

“Are you?”

“Very,” he answered. “But I’m also excited.”

“I am, too,” Taeyong said back in a soft voice.

Ishigami-sensei sat on the stool and rolled to the other side of the exam table. She had on a new pair of gloves. She held a small bottle in her hand. “If you could lift your shirt a bit, Taeyong-san,” she said.

Taeyong did. He lifted the front of his shirt enough to show his stomach. It was still flat, maybe a little bloated. He doubted that he was showing much at all.

“This is the gel. It’ll be a tad bit cold,” Ishigami-sensei said. She turned the bottle over and squeezed. A small bit fell onto Taeyong’s stomach, making him jump a little. She smiled. The nurse handed her the wand and turned on the machine. “Now, are you ready to see your baby for the first time?”

“Yes,” Taeyong said, voice barely above a whisper.

Ishigami-sensei moved to wand down onto his stomach and began to spread the gel over his belly. It was cold and a funny feeling. On the screen, they saw black and white, nothing decipherable. Ishigami-sensei moved the wand around a bit before slowing down. She stayed in one area, twisting the wand around little by little.

“Alright,” she said with a smile. With her free hand, she pointed to a small spot on the screen. “This here is your baby. They’re about the size of a raspberry now.”

Taeyong stared at the screen. He couldn’t make out anything. It was just a raspberry sized black dot in the middle of the screen. He blinked a few times. It didn’t feel real at all. That was someone growing inside him. He continued to stare at the screen. “That’s my baby?” he asked.

“It is,” Ishigami-sensei confirmed.

He turned to look at Yuta-san. He was staring at the screen with wide eyes, mouth parted in surprise. “Yuta-san?”

Yuta-san looked at him, broken from the small trance he had been in. “Tae―Taeyong-san…” His eyes moved back to the screen. “That’s… our baby.”

“Would you like me to try and find the heartbeat?” Ishigami-sensei asked.

“Of course,” Taeyong replied.

The nurse beside the machine simply turned the sound on. The small exam room filled with the sound of Taeyong’s blood rushing but as Ishigami-sensei moved the wand a bit more, another sound appeared. It was a strong thumping. One thump, two thumps, even and equal, stable.

“That is your baby’s heartbeat, and it is nice and strong,” Ishigami-sensei said with another smile.

Taeyong focused on the sound. He closed his eyes and just listened, trying to memorize the sound, memorize the rhythm. When he opened his eyes, they were filled with tears.

Hearing it had made it so much more real. It was not just a raspberry sized black dot on the screen. It was a baby with a heartbeat.

He heard a sniffle from beside him. Taeyong turned his head and let out a shaky laugh when he saw the tears in Yuta-san’s eyes.

“You’re crying,” he said.

“You are, too,” Yuta-san said back.

Yuta-san smiled and Taeyong felt something warm blossom in his heart.

He closed his eyes again, counting the beats, with a smile on his face.

* * *

Taeyong took a drink from his tea. It was warm and nice. He sighed contently.

“Feeling better?” Yuta-san asked from across the table.

“Much,” Taeyong answered. He set down his cup. “I hope that this goes away. I hate this.”

Yuta-san smiled. “Do you now?”

Taeyong scowled at him. “Don’t you act all innocent. This is your fault.”

Yuta-san only continued smiling. Taeyong ignored him. He turned his attention to the small plate on the table. It had a slice of cake on it. He picked up the fork and took a bit, bringing it to his lips. It was sweet and soft.

“Should we start a journal?” Yuta-san asked. He picked up his fork and began eating at the cake slice he had gotten. “To put all of the sonograms in?”

“That would be nice,” Taeyong said. He hummed. “I could buy one tomorrow and stick the first one in there. I’ll write what Ishigami-sensei said.”

Yuta-san nodded. “That sounds good,” he said. “Can I join you?”

Taeyong paused. “Sorry?”

“Can I join you? In buying the journal, making the first entry?” he asked.

“Oh, of course,” Taeyong said. “Would it be okay if you came over after your soccer practice?”

“I’ll be there,” Yuta-san answered. “Say, Taeyong-san, have you told anyone?”

“About this? No.”

Yuta-san remained quiet.

Taeyong ate some more cake and took a few sips of his tea. He looked at Yuta-san, who was deep in thought.

“When should we tell, you know, family and friends?”

“My family lives in South Korea,” Taeyong answered. “I’m going to tell them once everything is certain. As for my friends… I’m sure they’ll notice right away when I return to work.”

Yuta-san hummed. “Well, my family lives in Osaka,” he said. “I’ll tell them when you tell your parents.”

“Sounds great.”

They stared at each other. Yuta-san was the first to look away, clearing his throat.

“I have one more thing,” he said.

“What is that?”

“You live in a one-bedroom apartment,” he said. “That could work for us right now, but once the baby grows, they’ll need their own room. We can’t have all of us in your bedroom, as spacious as it is.”

“All of us?” Taeyong looked at Yuta-san with narrowed eyes. “I wasn’t aware that you were moving into my apartment.”

Yuta-san didn’t look at all disturbed or upset. “I thought it would only be natural for us to move in together. You could move into my apartment. It’s smaller than yours and the lease will be up a bit before the due date but it’s easy to renew.” Yuta-san tilted his head to the side. “Did you expect us to live separately?”

Taeyong felt his cheeks burn. “Well, I…” He pursed his lips. “I wasn’t aware that’s where our relationship stood.”

Yuta-san narrowed his eyes this time. “Alright,” he murmured. “Then tell me, Taeyong-san, where exactly did you think we stood, relationship-wise?”

Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek. He didn’t know how to answer that. 

They had gone on three dates, so they were dating. Then they had slept together, the first time and then so many more times after that, so they were hooking up. And now they were expecting a child together, so they were parents. It wasn’t the most ideal relationship to have with someone if Taeyong was honest.

As much as Taeyong had learned about Yuta-san, through his profile at the agency or through their meetings, he was still a stranger to Taeyong. He was a stranger that Taeyong would be tied to for nineteen years, or even longer than that.

“If my apartment is so small, then should we just get another together?” Taeyong asked instead.

“I don’t want to pressure you into anything, Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said quickly. “I was just under the impression that―”

“We’d move in together and be roommates that happen to have a kid together?” Taeyong asked. His tone was harsh and he had caught Yuta-san off guard if the look on his face was anything to go by. “Or what? We’d get married and be together forever with our kid?”

“Taeyong-san, that is not what I meant, and I am sorry if that’s how it came off,” Yuta-san said seriously. “It was wrong of me to make assumptions and jump so far ahead into the future without considering your feelings. If you would prefer to live separately, I would respect that decision. We can plan a schedule, and I can see the baby a few times a week, or maybe over the weekend…”

Taeyong sighed. “No,” he said. “No, that’s not… necessary.”

The last thing that Taeyong wanted was to live like that. He didn’t want to put his child through that. It wasn’t like he didn’t like Yuta-san. He liked Yuta-san. But moving in together was still a little… much for him.

“Finding an apartment that’s bigger would be better,” he said. Yuta-san opened his mouth to say something but Taeyong continued speaking. “You said that the lease on your apartment was up before the due date. Mine ends in September next year. We have plenty of time to find a bigger place.”

Yuta-san looked at him for a long while, a small frown on his lips and his eyebrows pulled together slightly. He finally sighed, leaning back in his seat. “I don’t want to force you into anything,” he said seriously.

“You’re not,” Taeyong answered. He looked away. “I’m just thinking about my baby.”

They said nothing else after that. Taeyong finished his tea and cake quietly. When he was finished, he held the small sonogram that Ishigami-sensei had printed out in his hands. The baby was growing quickly. It wouldn’t be long until it was visible.

Yuta-san kept his eyes on his food, slowly eating and drinking until it was gone. He pushed the empty dishes aside. It was a few moments before a young woman came by to collect all of them. She set down the bill for their food. They both thanked her and then turned their gaze to the bill.

“I’m paying,” Taeyong said once she left. He set the sonogram down and reached for the bill. “I’ve got it. Thank you for accompanying me today, Yuta-san.”

“Taeyong-san, please―”

Taeyong stood and took it with him, going to pay. He handed over his card and once it was paid, he looked back towards the table. Yuta-san stood and came over.

He offered his hand. Taeyong stared at it.

“I’ll walk you home,” Yuta-san said.

After another moment, Taeyong took Yuta-san’s hand and let himself be led out of the small restaurant.

* * *

Monday morning came rather quickly.

The morning sickness had gotten more severe over the weekend and Taeyong had spent the better part of an hour hunched over the toilet bowl, retching. When he was finished, he had quickly gotten ready, aware that he was late to work.

He managed to catch the train and walked as briskly as he could to get to the building. He gave the receptionist on the ground floor a quick greeting before going into the elevator, checking his watch after he pushed down the button to his floor.

No one was waiting for him outside the elevator. He stepped out as the doors opened. He surveyed the floor. Everyone was here, working. A few sent him glances and smiled, but for the most part, everyone was focused on their tasks.

Taeyong let out a puff of air and walked to his office, pushing open his door and going to his desk.

While he hadn’t been in the entire month of October, the office had been kept clean. His desk had no dust on it and everything looked new and shiny.

As he sat and began to pull out everything he needed to do, he heard his office door open.

“Doyoung,” Taeyong said as he met familiar eyes.

“Taeyong,” was the reply. “Welcome back. Happy to have you here again.”

Taeyong looked at his friend, wondering. He shook his head. “We need to have a morning meeting. Please gather everyone and I’ll be―”

“We’ve already had the morning meeting,” Doyoung interrupted smoothly. He leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest. He smiled. “Today was Matsumoto-san’s turn to speak. She went to Sapporo this weekend. She has your souvenir.”

“Oh.”

Doyoung raised his eyebrows. He pushed himself off the doorframe and stepped into the office fully. The door closed. “You look frazzled,” he said as he made his way over to the chairs in front of Taeyong’s desk. “Everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine,” Taeyong answered. He cleared his throat. “I’m just behind on some stuff. I’ll talk to you and Jaehyun at lunch. Is that okay?”

Doyoung narrowed his eyes. “You’ve missed a lot, Taeyong. Hori-san has started making Jaehyun his lunch,” he said after a long minute. He stood from the chair. “See you then.”

Taeyong watched as Doyoung left, closing the door behind him. He sighed and fell back into his chair. A few deep breaths.

He could do this.

He sat up again and proceeded to work.

He worked until a loud knock on his door sounded through the room. 

Taeyong looked up in time to see it open and Doyoung step inside. He looked back down at the report in his hands. He circled a sentence and wrote a comment in the margins.

“Are you ready for lunch?”

“I’m ready,” Taeyong said, setting his stuff down. He looked to his right and picked up the small lunch box he usually brought with him to work. He stood up and circled his desk, walking towards Doyoung. “To the ground floor?”

Doyoung hummed and opened the door, holding it for Taeyong.

Their walk to the elevator and the large canteen on the building’s ground floor was quiet. Doyoung led the way, and Taeyong looked at him curiously. There was no doubt he didn’t know already.

By the time they found Jaehyun, he was already opening a lunch box with the homemade lunch that Hori-san had prepared, even decorated cutely with carrots cut into small stars and hearts. Taeyong eyed it as he sat down and opened his lunch box.

“Taeyong-hyung!” Jaehyun exclaimed, leaning over the table. “Hori-san made me lunch today.”

“I can see that,” Taeyong replied. He smiled at Jaehyun. “It’s going well with her?”

Jaehyun only smiled in response.

Doyoung sat beside Taeyong and pulled out his lunch box. He opened it and picked up his chopsticks. He brought his hands together and said a quiet thanks for the meal before taking his first bite.

“Hey, Taeyong,” he said as he reached for his water bottle, “How was your time away from work?”

“Same as always,” Taeyong replied, pulling out his chopsticks from the small container. He brought his hands together in thanks before picking up some rice in between his chopsticks. “Nothing you don’t want to know.”

“Are you sure, hyung?”

“Well…”

Jaehyun paused and looked at Taeyong, waiting. He tilted his head to the side. “Did something happen?”

“Yes, I… something happened.”

Doyoung blinked at Taeyong. “Just say it.”

“Yuta-san and I are…”

Jaehyun clapped his hands together. “You’re getting married!” he exclaimed with certainty. “Is that it? Or you moved in together?”

“No, it’s…” Taeyong sighed. “I don’t know how I should say this. I’m sorry.”

Doyoung already knew. Jaehyun hadn’t seemed to notice anything yet. These were his friends and Taeyong knew that they would support him. He didn’t need to be scared or nervous to tell them.

“Two months ago, I… we slept together and somehow…” Taeyong held up his hand and sighed. “Somehow, I…”

“It’s okay,” Doyoung said, reaching out to take his hand. He squeezed him. “I know.”

Jaehyun looked at Taeyong. “You’re…”

Taeyong waited.

“Pregnant.”

Doyoung looked at Jaehyun. “Jaehyun…”

“I’m so happy for you,” Jaehyun said, reaching out to take Taeyong’s other hand. He smiled. “I, I am. Hyung, you’re having a baby?”

“I am,” Taeyong said. “I saw the baby on Wednesday. I heard the heartbeat.”

“And he…”

“He was there.”

His friends both smiled at him.

“We’re very happy for you, Taeyong,” Doyoung said.

Taeyong felt the immense pressure on his shoulders lift.

* * *

When Taeyong stepped out of the building and into the cold November air, a familiar voice called his name. He turned around and saw Yuta-san, standing by one of the large pillars in front of the building. He had a thick scarf wrapped around his neck and a large coat on, hands stuffed inside his pockets.

The slight wind blew his long hair around and even in the little light coming from the inside of the building, Taeyong could see that it had bitten at his nose and cheeks, tinging them pink.

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong said, walking over to him. He stopped in front of him and looked at him.

Underneath the scarf, Yuta-san smiled. “I’m sorry I didn’t call or send you a message,” he said. “I just came. Practice ended earlier today.”

Taeyong let himself smile. “It’s fine,” he said.

Even though it was cold, he felt warm.

“How long have you been waiting?”

Yuta-san shrugged. “Half an hour?”

Taeyong hummed. “You could’ve waited inside instead of loitering out here, Yuta-san.”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about that,” he replied. He pulled a hand out of his pocket and offered it to Taeyong. He was wearing gloves. “Shall we go?”

“Alright,” Taeyong said, taking Yuta-san’s hand. He wasn’t wearing his gloves and feeling the warmth of Yuta-san’s hands made him sigh contently. “It’s cold.”

“You’re not wearing the proper clothing.”

“I didn’t have the chance to check the weather this morning.”

“Here,” Yuta-san said, stopping. He pulled his hand away and began to unwrap the scarf around his neck. Taeyong turned to him, ready to protest, but Yuta-san took the opportunity to place the thick scarf around his neck, carefully wrapping it around. “I would give you my gloves as well but my hands get really cold.”

Taeyong smiled, hiding it behind the scarf. “That’s alright.”

Yuta-san took his hand once more and then proceeded to put it inside his coat pocket. It was warm and Taeyong felt the feeling go all through his body.

They resumed their walk to the station, becoming just another pair in the streets of Tokyo, going home for the night. They said nothing throughout their walk. It was comfortable.

As they reached the station, Yuta-san pulled Taeyong closer, close enough that their shoulders were touching. They swiped their cards and stepped into a line for the train. 

Taeyong inhaled deeply and caught a whiff of something that didn’t please him. He coughed, slightly pulling away from Yuta-san. The scent was strong and it made him nauseous. He took a few breathes, closing his eyes for a moment.

When he opened his eyes, Yuta-san was looking at him with worried eyes. “Taeyong-san?”

“I’m fine,” Taeyong said. With his free hand, Taeyong pulled up Yuta-san’s scarf around his neck and took another inhale, taking in the comforting scent of it. _ Pine, cinnamon, and something sweet. _ Taeyong repeated the words in his head, keeping the scarf over his nose until he stopped feeling nauseous. He looked at Yuta-san. “It’s just… the smell. It made me feel sick.”

“Oh.”

Yuta-san shuffled closer. He leaned in to whisper in Taeyong’s ear.

“Does this help?”

Taeyong shivered. He moved away from him. There was no doubt that having Yuta-san come closer had eased him even more, but Taeyong couldn’t say that. “Yuta-san, this is inappropriate,” he said instead.

Yuta-san smiled but stepped away. He held onto his hand a little tighter.

The station filled with the noise of the approaching train, which slowed to a stop in front of them. Everyone waiting stepped aside to let the people inside out and then they all rushed it.

Yuta-san had a good hold on Taeyong and pulled him towards one of the seats. He sat down and then tugged Taeyong down to sit beside him. Taeyong made himself comfortable and watched as everyone else filled the rest of the space, taking the rest of the seats or standing in the middle, holding onto the bars above.

The train began to move and the voice from the intercom announced their departure. Taeyong sighed, leaning back into the seat.

He closed his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to relax. He took a deep breath, taking in the smell of Yuta-san’s scarf. Yuta-san’s body was warm beside his and having his hand to hold made Taeyong forget the stress of work.

There had been much to catch up on. Doyoung and Jaehyun had left him alone for the most part but Taeyong wasn’t oblivious enough to not realize that they stopped by his office more times than usual, offering a snack or water. Taeyong appreciated it, but he didn’t need them to dote on him so often. Yuta-san did that enough.

The ride from the office building to Taeyong’s stop was nearly an hour long. Taeyong decided to make himself more comfortable. He shifted in his seat a little.

“Taeyong-san? What―?”

Yuta-san stopped when Taeyong carefully placed his head against his shoulder. He took a deep breath and was overwhelmed with the strong scent of Yuta-san. Apart from his natural scent, Taeyong could also smell his cologne, something musky and nice.

“Is this fine?” Taeyong asked. 

He was well aware that this was not something he normally would’ve done. But Yuta-san was here, and Yuta-san had been here. It was hard not to get comfortable with him when he had been the one that Taeyong had spent a very long and intimate time with him over the last month. Not to mention the fact that being close to each other had resulted in this very situation, where Taeyong was very tired and a little hormonal.

“It’s fine,” Yuta-san replied quietly. He moved a bit so it was more comfortable for Taeyong. “I’ll wake you when we get closer to home.”

Taeyong hummed and closed his eyes once more, allowing the sounds of the train speeding down the tracks and the quiet chatter of everyone on the train to lull him to sleep.

* * *

“Taeyong-san.”

Taeyong looked up. Yuta-san had a serious expression on his face. He reached for something beside him and then set a small box onto the table.

“I think that we should get married.”

Yuta-san carefully opened the box. The inside was lined with white velvet and in the center of the box was a glittering ring. It was small and gorgeous. Taeyong carefully reached out and pulled it out, feeling the cool band in between his thumb and pointer finger.

He looked at Yuta-san. “Really? You want to marry me?”

“Before our son is born,” Yuta-san said firmly. He pried the ring out of Taeyong’s fingers and took his hand. He slipped it onto his finger. “I want to marry you.”

Taeyong stared at the ring on his finger. 

“Yuta-san…”

“There’s no need to say anything,” Yuta-san said. He held Taeyong’s hand and leaned in.

They kissed.

* * *

Taeyong opened his eyes and was met with Yuta-san’s face.

“It’s almost time to get off,” he said.

Taeyong blinked a few times, getting a hold on himself. A dream. It was a dream. He looked around. The train was still full, but not as much. He scooted to the edge of his seat, bringing his bag over his lap. He held onto it with both hands, focusing on the floor.

The voice announced the stop and beside him, Yuta-san stood. His gloved hand appeared in front of Taeyong’s, and he took it after a second, standing up. He let himself be led and then fell into step with Yuta-san as they exited the station.

“I think…” Taeyong stopped as he turned to look at Yuta-san, whose face was lit up by the various shop signs around. A mixture of colors painted his face and reflected in his eyes.

He looked at Taeyong. “We have to buy the journal, remember?”

“Right,” Taeyong said. He looked straight ahead. “There’s a store, just right down here.”

They walked down the sidewalk, hand in hand. A few people that passed them smiled. Yuta-san smiled back and Taeyong simply nodded to them. He wondered how it looked to them. They were together, but were they_ together_?

There was no ring on Taeyong’s finger or Yuta-san’s, for that matter. Taeyong was aware that people would begin to smell the added hormones from his pregnancy the further along he got. According to Yuta-san, it hadn’t changed much yet but compared to a month ago, it had become noticeably sweeter for him. People would know he was pregnant before he began to show but then they’d see that he was unbonded―physically, legally, and maritally.

It wasn’t uncommon or looked down upon but it was just… odd. Taeyong had an alpha and he was carrying that alpha’s child, yet he hadn’t done anything to show it. He hadn’t claimed his territory. 

Yuta-san was still a free alpha, able to go out and have a thousand other omegas without repercussions of what happened to them. Of course, Yuta-san wasn’t that kind of man, but if he was, Taeyong would’ve been in quite the situation.

He wondered if he preferred the current situation or the hypothetical one.

If they would ever move further than this, Taeyong didn’t know. It was too confusing.

“Is this it?”

Taeyong looked at the storefront they stopped at. “Yes,” he said. He pulled Yuta-san along as he moved to the door.

He pushed it open, a small bell ringing above. A muffled greeting from the other side of the small store was heard. Taeyong pulled Yuta-san to the small section with the various stationary supplies. A small section of pens, stickers, and then the various notebooks and journals.

“This is it,” Taeyong said. With his free hand, he picked up one of the journals. On the cover was a small drawing of a cat. “They’re cute, aren’t they?”

Yuta-san laughed softly. “They are.” He picked up another and looked at the small duckling that decorated the cover. “Very cute.”

They let go of each other so they could look around freely. They picked up a few more and showed them to each other. Some were decent, some were silly, and others were ridiculous. Taeyong laughed as Yuta-san tried to find the most absurd ones, with funny pictures and even funnier words printed on them.

The owner of the shop stopped by and asked if they needed help. Taeyong had politely declined, holding back his laugh as best as he could. She smiled and told them where she’d be if they needed her.

They didn’t go find her.

It was a while before Yuta-san picked up a journal from the furthest corner of the section. It was a hardcover journal with the image of a small baby wrapped in plush blankets printed on it. The image looked like a watercolor painting. The baby had rosy and chubby cheeks. Its eyes were closed and Taeyong saw the long, delicate strokes that made its eyelashes, resting against its cheeks. Dark brown hair was tucked underneath the blankets it was wrapped in. Along the bottom were the words _ Goodnight Baby_ printed in English.

“I like this one,” Yuta-san said quietly. He opened it up and checked the pages. “It’s nice.”

Taeyong looked at Yuta-san. “Should we get this one then?”

Yuta-san nodded. He looked to the small section of stickers beside the journals. “Should we get stuck to decorate it as well?”

Together, they picked out a few sets of sticker sheets that were cute and baby-themed. Yuta-san had gotten some thin decorative tapes from a big bin in the corner, claiming that they needed more than stickers to decorate and that each roll of tape was only 100 yen each.

They brought their small haul to the cashier, where the store owner was. She smiled as she began to ring them up.

“Did you find everything alright?” she asked.

“Yes, we did, thank you,” Taeyong said. He watched as she pulled out a small bag and began to put everything inside. She moved quickly and then she was sliding the bag over the counter. “That will be three thousand and fifty yen.”

Taeyong moved to pull his wallet out but Yuta-san already had his out and was pulling his card out, handing it to the woman with both his hands.

“Thank you,” she said. She quickly swiped it and waited as it processed. A small ding sounded from the register and the receipt printed. She pulled it and then handed it back to Yuta-san with his card. “Please enjoy. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you,” they both said.

Taeyong took the bag in one hand and smiled at the woman. He felt Yuta-san take his other hand and then he was being pulled out of the small store.

“Should we do the entry today then?”

“If it’s not a problem,” Taeyong answered.

They began walking back and then they were on the route to Taeyong’s apartment. It had only gotten colder and they rushed a bit, reaching the front of the complex quickly.

“Would you like to order something?” Yuta-san asked as they stepped into the elevator. He pushed the button to close the door and then hit Taeyong’s floor number.

“It’s fine,” Taeyong said with a wave of his hand. He bounced a little on his feet, still feeling the chill from the outside on his hands and face. “I can make something quickly. It’s not too late.”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not,” Taeyong said.

The elevator doors opened and he stepped out. Yuta-san followed.

“I try not to order in too much. Unless it’s late or I’m really tired, I always make dinner,” Taeyong said.

They walked down the hall and stopped in front of Taeyong’s door. He punched the code into the keypad and heard a small beep. He turned the knob and pushed the door open.

He stepped inside and toed off his shoes. Yuta-san followed.

“Pardon the intrusion,” he murmured.

Taeyong closed the door once Yuta-san was inside. He put on his slippers, placed the bag onto the dining table, and headed for the kitchen. He grabbed two cups and filled them with water. He brought it back out and set them on the dining table.

Yuta-san had taken off his coat and gloves. He set them on the armchair. “Should we eat first then?”

“You can start with the journal while I cook,” Taeyong said. “Let me just get the sonogram.”

He went to his room and pulled the small picture from his nightstand, coming back out to see Yuta-san sitting at the table, already setting everything out. It was rather endearing, seeing him carefully lay out everything they had picked out.

“Here,” Taeyong said, setting the sonogram down. “I’ll be right back with food then.”

Taeyong was able to see Yuta-san over the small island counter. He watched as Yuta-san carefully taped the sonogram onto a page and pulled a pen from his bag. He wrote something and looked at it for a moment. He proceeded to pull some stickers and decorate the rest of the page.

It was too much for Taeyong. He tried to hold back the smile that threatened to appear. He tried to focus on making the food. It was something quick and easy. He quickly brought a pot of water to a boil and put the pasta inside. He had leftover sauce from the last time he made this dish so he pulled that out and quickly warmed it up.

He chopped up some leftover chicken from the day before.

It took him about half an hour to get everything together. He brought two plates out onto the table. He carefully placed them away from the various items that littered the table.

“Oh!” Yuta-san exclaimed. He smiled. “That looks and smells delicious.”

“Let’s eat,” Taeyong said, laying out the utensils.

“Wait, first, I want to show you what I did,” Yuta-san said, holding the journal open.

Taeyong circled the table and peered over Yuta’s shoulder.

The sonogram was stuck onto the page with the decorative tape and a few stickers. In the corner, above it, Yuta-san had written_ October 31, 2025_. 

Underneath the sonogram, Yuta-san had written out what had happened at the first appointment. It wasn’t too detailed. It just said Taeyong had gotten a physical check-up and the doctor had spoken to them about what to expect. Taeyong’s eyes read over the last line a few times.

_ We saw you for the first time and heard your heartbeat, our beautiful baby. _

Taeyong felt something in his chest but he ignored it. Instead, he moved his gaze to the other page. At the top, Yuta-san had written_ Papa’s Thoughts_.

“Yuta-san, that’s rather cute,” Taeyong said teasingly.

Yuta-san laughed, closing the journal. “I… I’m just excited!” he exclaimed. “We can finish later. Let’s eat first.”

Taeyong cleared the table and Yuta-san fixed the dishes. Taeyong took a set and brought his hands together. Across him, Yuta-san said that same.

“Thank you for the meal,” they said at the same time before reaching for their forks and digging in.

Yuta-san told Taeyong about his day. The kids in one of his classes had bought him a small slice of cake from a bakery nearby and presented it to him as a late birthday gift, which Yuta-san appreciated. A few of the other teachers had begun planning to go out over the weekend and had invited him. Soccer practice had been tough with the cold but the kids had pulled through and done their best.

As Yuta-san spoke, Taeyong realized that this was not normal. This was not… what was this? What was he doing with Yuta-san? Playing house, for the sake of their child?

Taeyong pushed the thoughts away. They made him uncomfortable. Instead, he tried to focus on Yuta-san and everything he said. When he was done, Taeyong relayed what had occurred throughout his day. He left out the part about telling Doyoung and Jaehyun. Yuta-san seemed interested despite Taeyong’s day being boring beyond belief.

They finished about an hour later. Taeyong cleared the table as Yuta began to collect everything to put back on the table. Taeyong quickly washed everything and dried his hands, stepping out to see the same sight as before.

“I’m going to write first,” Yuta-san said. He already had his pen in hand, hovering over the page.

“Leave enough space for me,” Taeyong said, sitting back down.

“I’ll draw a line.”

Taeyong watched as Yuta-san split the page in half horizontally with a line. He began writing in the top half.

* * *

_ Papa’s Thoughts _

_ I’m writing this a few days after the appointment, but I still feel the same feelings. They are feelings I don’t want to shake! This sudden warmth has taken over and it’s because of you. Seeing you and hearing you… I can’t even imagine something greater than that. There are still many more months until I meet you but I already love you so much. You are already the most important person in my life. Please grow healthily! I am counting the days until I see your face for the first time. I do not doubt that you will be beautiful. With parents like us, there is no way you won’t be beautiful! When you’re old enough, please thank us. _

* * *

_ Dad’s Thoughts _

_ I was scared when the doctor told me you were growing inside me. Johnny was there. He is very excited to meet you. He has two daughters that will be like your sisters. There is already so much love for you in this world and you have not seen it yet. I wonder if you can feel it? Can you feel the love that I have for you already? What about the love your dad has for you? He loves you so much. It’s scary. _

_ I will take care of myself so you can be healthy and strong. Your dad will make sure I take care, too. He’s already too much. One day, you’ll know the story of how we met and maybe it will be sad or it will be happy, but just know that, right now, he is doing his best for you. _

_ The doctor said you will be born in June next year. It’s months away. I want you to come to us already. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, as always, for commenting and giving kudos! I sincerely appreciate it :D 
> 
> Updating this might get tough because I am writing for 3 fic fests and am a beta reader for about 3-4 others! I'm going to try my best to continue posting for this every few weeks. I really, really love writing it <3 And as always, this is hardly edited! Will come back to fix mistakes eventually, ah....
> 
> Also, a June due date... I wonder who their baby will be?


	5. Look Away, I Had to Look Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back! Maybe you've noticed that I added chapter titles to each chapter heh this chapter title is from The Regrettes' "Fog". No need to listen to the song, but I do love it! I looked over this a little but didn't edit thoroughly so ignore the mistakes!
> 
> Also, a warning for this part: sexual harassment! Please skip over the party scene and to the Doyoung scene if you wouldn't like to read that.

Taeyong put a hand on his hips and looked down at the unfamiliar piece of clothing draped over the arm of the couch. He shifted his weight to his left foot and tilted his head. This was not something Taeyong owned.

The item in offense was a black and white plaid jacket. It was too big for Taeyong. The amount of material was enough for him to determine that. Also, it wasn’t something he’d wear. He wouldn’t buy it for himself. Not even his parents would buy him something so… interesting.

He had walked out and was about to go into the kitchen, but his attention had been diverted by the foreign piece of clothing. There was only one person it could belong to. Taeyong wondered where he was. More than that, he wondered why he had left it there. Taeyong didn’t impose any rules, but keeping common areas clean was something he expected was common sense.

It was not the first time he found something strewn about. He had found other coats and jackets, draped over the back of a chair or on the arm of the couch. Each time, Taeyong picked them up and deposited them into the room they were supposed to belong in without complaint. But it seemed like he would have to make some complaints sometime soon to avoid any more of this.

“Oh, sorry. That’s mine.”

A hand appeared and snatched the item off the arm of the couch. Taeyong’s eyes followed and landed on Yuta-san, who draped the jacket over his forearm. He looked at Taeyong. 

Taeyong pursed his lips. “Huh.”

Yuta-san raised his eyebrows. “Something wrong?”

“Not at all,” Taeyong answered, straightening up and turning on his heel to go into the kitchen. Today was not the day to complain, he decided.

He heard footsteps following. Taeyong ignored them as he opened the fridge and pulled out some things to make their packed lunch. When he closed the door, he jumped back when he saw Yuta-san standing right behind it. He no longer had the jacket, so Taeyong assumed he had just left it on the couch again.

“You scared me!” Taeyong exclaimed, turning away and moving to the empty counter, arms full of things. He dumped them onto the counter and huffed. 

Yuta-san moved and stood right beside him. He watched Taeyong sort out the ingredients for a moment. He didn’t offer any help when Taeyong washed them or placed the cutting board on the counter. He just observed.

“You know,” he started, his voice low, “I can go home if having me here is too much trouble.”

Taeyong shivered at Yuta-san’s closeness. He winced away involuntarily, putting a little space between them. He didn’t turn to look at him. He sliced the tomato on the cutting board slowly. “No,” he said, a slight inflection in his voice. “I told you it’s no trouble. We talked about this.”

The only person that had talked had been Taeyong. All Yuta-san did was listen and then agree to whatever Taeyong said. Taeyong was frustrated that day. He just wanted Yuta-san to express his thoughts and give his input, but Yuta-san would not, no matter how much Taeyong tried to pry it out of him.

But in the end, they did both agree that it would be best. It would be best if they spent more time together. And the only way to do that was to live together, more or less. It was a strange arrangement that Taeyong was beginning to question.

Yuta-san was not necessarily living with Taeyong, at least not entirely. Taeyong had four days where he was alone and then three days where Yuta-san was there. But Taeyong had noticed that Yuta-san wasn’t even there on his days because of the after school dance club’s activities, soccer practices and games. Taeyong still felt like he was the only person in his apartment and it had been nearly three weeks like this.

Taeyong had offered Yuta-san the spare bedroom. It was a small room that barely fit a bed and a dresser, but it was enough. Taeyong’s parents stayed there when they visited, which wasn’t often. He had considered turning it into a home office the year before but now was glad he kept it as a guest bedroom. And really, that’s how Taeyong saw Yuta-san. He was simply a guest. A guest that stayed with him for three days every week, was hardly ever there, and not to mention, was the father of his baby, but a guest nonetheless.

In the little time, they did spend together, they ate, talked about their days, and retired to bed. Once or twice, they had been able to sit on the couch and watch TV, but Taeyong had gotten tired of that and gone off to bed after half an hour. The fatigue he was feeling from the pregnancy made him miserable as if the tiredness he got from having a long workday wasn’t enough already.

He was eleven weeks alone and he was getting tired of it all. He felt nauseated constantly, was always tired, and his mood flip-flopped too many times over the day. He and Yuta-san had gone to the second doctor’s appointment the week before and Ishigami-sensei had assured him that he would begin to feel better in a few short weeks.

Taeyong could only hope. Not only did he feel like someone else entirely, but he felt guilty that his friends and most especially, Yuta-san, had to deal with him for extended periods.

Yuta-san hummed. “You’re doing it again,” he said with a small, teasing lilt to his voice.

Taeyong frowned. “I’m fine,” he said. He heard the snappiness in his voice and nearly scowled. “And if I am annoyed, that’s entirely your fault.”

Yuta-san said nothing else. He leaned against the counter and watched Taeyong cut up the lettuce. Taeyong saw Yuta-san’s hand reach out and grab something from the small basket he had on the counter. Yuta-san studied whatever was in his hand before showing it to Taeyong.

Taeyong stopped and looked at Yuta-san’s open palm. “A lime,” he said. He continued chopping up the lettuce. “Put that back. I don’t need that.”

Yuta-san didn’t. He closed his hand around the lime and held it in his fist. “Do you remember what Ishigami-sensei said?” he asked. He tossed the lime into the air and caught it.

“About?”

“The baby,” Yuta answered. He showed Taeyong the lime again. “This is how big the baby is this week.”

Taeyong stopped. He set the knife down and turned his body towards Yuta-san. “What?”

“Eleven weeks, the baby is the size of a lime,” Yuta-san said, rolling the lime around in his palm. He stopped and set it back into the basket. He took a step closer. “Don’t you remember?”

“Is it?” Taeyong asked. His hands moved to his stomach. There was very little that had changed in his appearance, but the baby was growing quickly inside him. It wouldn’t be long before it was obvious. “I don’t remember Ishigami-sensei saying that. Sorry.”

“It is,” Yuta-san answered. Something was different in his voice and when Taeyong met his eyes, he saw the usual teasing look replaced with something more serious.

It was not a look that indicated Taeyong needed to panic, but his heart began to race in his chest. It only beat harder and faster when Taeyong felt Yuta-san place his hand on his waist. Yuta-san leaned in a little and Taeyong’s face grew hot.

He cleared his throat. “Yuta-san…”

The look on Yuta-san’s face disappeared in an instant. He pulled away quickly, taking a few steps back as well. “I’m sorry,” he coughed. “I, oh… I have to go get dressed so we can leave.”

“Of course,” Taeyong said nonchalantly, smoothing down the front of his shirt.

Yuta-san left the kitchen and Taeyong turned back to the counter.

He didn’t resume his task immediately. He placed a hand on the edge of the counter and closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths and willing the warmness in his face to go away.

How odd was it that he and Yuta-san had gone far enough that they made a baby, but the thought of Yuta-san kissing him now made him feel nervous? He felt like a foolish teenager.

Taeyong shook his head and picked up the knife again.

* * *

Soccer was not something that Taeyong understood. He got the gist of it and it was rather entertaining to watch, but he had never been interested enough to fully understand the sport or get invested in teams, leagues, and the statistics of it all. Yuta-san had been shocked, to say the least, when Taeyong told him. He had hesitated to ask after having this information, but Taeyong had forced the invitation out. Yuta-san wanted to invite Taeyong to watch a game. And of course, Taeyong would gladly come and see the school’s soccer team play.

It was a Saturday. It was late November, but the sky was clear and the sun was out for the afternoon. But even so, it was cold and Taeyong had on a few layers to keep warm as he sat in the back stands. He had a tumbler with warm tea that Yuta-san had been kind enough to make him, keeping his insides nice and warm as well.

Yuta-san was a good coach, or at least Taeyong came to that conclusion after watching him get the team ready. There were about twenty boys dressed in the same uniform, but different names and numbers printed on the back of their jerseys. They huddled around and listened to Yuta-san intently.

It was charming. Taeyong smiled to himself as he watched the team break and the boys run off to warm up on the field. Yuta-san stood back and watched, only calling out when he noticed something wrong. After a few minutes of speaking with the assistant coach, Yuta-san set down his things and joined the boys in their warm-ups.

Taeyong’s attention drifted towards the other team. Their coach looked around the same age as Yuta-san, if not a little older. He seemed to be drilling the boys on his team, having them run around the field and then line up to pass the ball between each other. The boys had serious expressions and they answered back to their coach in a loud, clear voice at the same time.

Seeing how the two teams warmed up on the same field was quite the contrast. He wondered how the game itself would go.

It didn’t take long for the game to start. 

The referee made his way onto the field and blew the whistle a few times, indicating the game would begin soon. Yuta-san brought the team in, speaking to them for a moment. They broke with loud cheers and headed to the dirt field, taking their positions. Yuta-san moved to the sidelines. He looked towards Taeyong in the stands and smiled. He waved.

Taeyong waved back meekly, aware that some of the other spectators turned towards him with questioning glances. When Yuta-san did not turn back around, Taeyong made a motion with his finger. Yuta-san grinned but he did turn back to the field in time with the sound of the whistle.

The spectators in the stands began to chatter. A few parents called out their kids names in support and telling them what to do when they had the ball. Taeyong only watched, trying to keep his eyes on the ball.

Yuta-san was quiet on the sidelines. It was the assistant coach that let out a few suggestions to the players on the field. Yuta-san just observed and then said some things to the assistant coach beside him.

On the field, one of the boys on Yuta-san’s team had the ball and he brought it forward. There was a moment of hesitation as he was surrounded by the opposing players. And then Yuta-san’s voice.

“Come on, Hirai-kun!” he yelled, clapping his hands.

The boy spared a glance at Yuta-san and then he kicked the ball with all his might. It passed between the legs of another player and then through the hands of the keeper. The net caught the ball and it rolled out, but the goal had been made.

Around Taeyong, parents and other supporters cheered. Taeyong set his thermos aside and clapped his hands. The boys on the field huddled around the one that had made the shot, Hirai-kun. They gave him some punches on the shoulder and pats on the back, laughing as they took their positions once again.

“That’s it, Hirai-kun!” Yuta exclaimed, clapping as he moved down the side of the field.

The game resumed and the cheers died down, but the excitement was in the air. They were leading by one in the first twenty minutes.

Taeyong picked up his tumbler, bringing to his mouth and taking a sip from the tea inside. He wondered if Yuta had learned sado growing up, being from a well-off and well-respected family. The image of Yuta-san dressed in a kimono and preparing tea made him smile behind the rim of the cup.

“Excuse me,” a young woman’s voice rang through the air.

Taeyong looked towards her. He recognized her face almost immediately, but he said nothing. Instead, he turned back to the field, keeping his eyes on the ball.

“Oh, here,” she said. “Momo, sit here. Look! There’s Ichiro.”

The young woman, followed by a second, sat to Taeyong’s left. They spoke to each other quietly. The second woman looked towards the field.

Taeyong spared a glance at them but he didn’t look away quick enough. The young woman beside him looked at him and gasped.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “It’s you!”

“Hello,” Taeyong said, inclining his head in greeting. He smiled at her.

“Minatozaki Sana,” she introduced. She scooted a bit closer and Taeyong felt his space be invaded with the sweet scent of brown sugar and vanilla. Her eyes were sparkling. “It’s very nice to meet you! Properly, this time.”

“Lee Taeyong,” he said. He straightened up a bit. “It’s nice to meet you, Minatozaki-san.”

“Oh, oh, this is my wife,” she said, reaching for the arm of the woman beside her. “When I asked about your bag, I wanted to get it for her.”

The woman she grabbed turned away from the field and looked at Taeyong. She, like her wife, had soft features. Her big eyes were curious and her lip turned down into a natural pout. The brown sugar and vanilla were masked by amber and something spicy. It was almost overwhelming, but the young woman did not seem overly excited or interested in him. She blinked at him.

“Oh, very nice to meet you. Hirai Momo.”

“Nice to meet you,” Taeyong said. “Lee Taeyong.”

“Lee-san,” Minatozaki-san said, letting go of her wife. She looked back to the game, but Minatozaki-san was focused on him. “Are you well?”

“I am,” Taeyong answered. “Are you doing well?”

“Oh, I’m well!” She placed her hands on her stomach and Taeyong followed. She was wearing a thick coat, but he could see the bump well. “As you can see, this one is causing a little trouble though.”

“Ah,” Taeyong let out an awkward chuckle. “How far along are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Six months, just about. She’s due in March,” Minatozaki-san said. She smiled. “And… you?”

“Oh.” Taeyong looked away, face warm. “Well, I’m only eleven weeks along…”

“That’s wonderful!” she exclaimed. “You know, now is the perfect time to plan a trip! Going on a babymoon is a great way to relieve yourself. It’s nearly December. You can go somewhere romantic for Christmas!”

“Is that so?” Taeyong asked. He looked toward Yuta-san, who was focused on the game.

Yuta-san and Taeyong were not necessarily romantic. They avoided touching each other too much in public, and in private, they stayed away from each other completely―excluding today’s interesting event in the kitchen. They didn’t kiss at all. They didn’t speak about things like going on dates or buying each other gifts. They had known each other for about two months, and their relationship had stayed the same. They had spent intimate time together before and during Taeyong’s heat but it had little impact on their relationship. Since then, they hadn’t even come close to such things.

They tiptoed around each other.

Going on something like a babymoon would be… awkward.

“I don’t think that it would be possible,” Taeyong told Minatozaki-san, moving his gaze back to her. “I work a lot and he…”

“He’s busy as well?” Minatozaki-san asked.

Taeyong nodded. “Yes, he’s busy as well.” He smiled. “But it’s no problem. I think I would enjoy staying home more.”

“Staying home sounds wonderful,” Minatozaki-san said with a smile.

The whistle sounded, indicating the end of the first half of the game. The boys on the field walked off. Yuta-san huddled them all up, handing each of the boys a water bottle as they came. He spoke to them for a few moments before letting them go. Some of them sat to rest and others went back to the field to kick the ball around.

“Sana-chan, I’m going to find Ichiro,” Hirai-san said. She smiled at her wife and Yuta. “Please carry on.”

Taeyong looked at Hirai-san. She walked down and Hirai-kun found her immediately. He embraced her and began to talk excitedly. Among all the chatter, Taeyong couldn’t catch what he was telling her, though he could guess based on the motions Hirai-kun made.

“Ichiro is the family’s star soccer player,” Minatozaki-san said. “He’s Momo’s cousin.”

“Oh,” Taeyong said. “He made a nice shot just before you arrived.”

Minatozaki-san smiled. “I’m sure we’ll hear about it when we’re going home.” She looked at Taeyong curiously. “Did you come to see someone specific, Lee-san?”

“Ah, I didn’t…” Taeyong felt his face warm up. He cleared his throat. “I came with someone just to watch.”

Minatozaki-san looked at the person sitting on the other side of him. It was an older woman. Minatozaki-san narrowed her eyes.

“Not Kimura-kun’s mother, I presume,” she said.

“No, no.” Taeyong let out a deep breath. “I came with… that person.”

He looked towards Yuta-san and Minatozaki-san followed. She let out a gasp, hand coming up to cover her mouth. She looked back at him with wide eyes.

“You’re…” She stopped as if realizing something. She gave him an apologetic look. “Lee-san, I’m so sorry!”

“What for?” Taeyong asked, confused.

“Ichiro had mentioned that the soccer coach had…” She hummed pensively. “He mentioned that Nakamoto-sensei had gotten a girlfriend and that he thought they were having a baby because Nakamoto-sensei had mentioned going to a doctor’s appointment with someone, but… you’re Nakamoto-sensei’s boyfriend. Here, we all thought you were a girl. How terrible of us to assume!”

“Oh! No, no, no,” Taeyong said hurriedly, setting down his tumbler and waving his hands in front of him. “No, no, Minatozaki-san, you’ve got it all wrong.”

“Oh.” She blinked a few times, then she looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I just thought that―”

Taeyong blushed. “I mean, yes, but―” He sighed. “Well, you’re right. We are… together.”

The words felt foreign coming off his tongue. He tried to smile and it must’ve worked because Minatozaki-san let out a sigh of relief and laughed. She seemed to relax again.

“Congratulations,” she said. She looked towards the field. “I must congratulate Nakamoto-sensei as well.”

“I’m sure he would appreciate that,” Taeyong said.

She stood up and went down. She caught Yuta-san’s arm and he turned to look at her. She said something and he looked surprised, but then a very happy expression crossed his face.

He looked towards Taeyong and smiled brightly. Taeyong smiled back. Once Yuta-san turned away, he sighed, feeling drained.

Everything was too complicated for his liking. He had felt like a liar, but at the same time, he didn’t know if he was telling a lie. They had come together with hopes of relationship and ended up with so much more. So much more than Taeyong thought he could handle. Was this a relationship or not? Were they_ together_ or not?

Yuta-san had never made a move to clarify their standing. If Taeyong felt like Yuta-san might be willing to, he might make the first step and… What was he saying? He pushed the thoughts away.

He felt suffocated. He needed to get some air, away from here. Somewhere where Yuta-san would not turn around and send him a dazzling smile that made Taeyong felt so many things at once.

Taeyong stood and collected his things. He carefully climbed down the stands. Everyone was distracted and he took the opportunity to head away from the field. The game would start in a few minutes, but he didn’t think he could bear the feeling in his stomach any longer.

* * *

“There you are.”

Taeyong blinked up at Yuta-san. “How was the rest of the game?”

“The kids won. But that doesn’t matter,” he said. He sat beside Taeyong. “Why did you leave?”

“I needed some air.”

“We’re outside.”

“Okay,” Taeyong said, turning to Yuta-san. “I needed to be alone.”

“Okay.” Yuta-san sat back. “Do you still need to be alone? Or can I join you?”

“You can stay. It’s fine,” Taeyong said.

They sat there for a few minutes. The wind was picking up and Taeyong felt it biting at his nose. It was getting colder. He sniffled a little.

“You’re going to get sick,” Yuta-san said. He unwrapped the scarf around his neck. He shifted on the bench and when Taeyong turned to look at him, he threw it over his head and began to wrap it around his. “There.”

“I have one already,” Taeyong muttered, voice muffled by the fabric. He reached up to pull the scarves down from over his mouth. “Now I just look ridiculous.”

“You look cute,” Yuta-san said softly. He smiled.

Taeyong blinked at him a few times. “Thanks,” he answered. He pulled the scarves around his neck up, hoping that it would hide the color on his face. He looked away.

“Are you done being alone?” Yuta-san asked after another minute. “Have you answered all the questions you were asking yourself?”

Taeyong looked at him for a moment. Yuta-san raised his eyebrows in question.

There was something different. It was something different. Taeyong felt his chest constrict and his breath caught in his throat. He turned away again.

“No,” he answered. “I didn’t answer any of them. But I am done being alone. We can go now.”

Yuta-san offered his hand and Taeyong took it. He pulled him up and Taeyong let go, brushing down his coat. He picked up his tumbler and looked towards Yuta-san, wondering if he should grab his hand again or not.

The question was answered when Yuta-san reached for Taeyong’s hand himself. They were both wearing gloves to protect them from the cold, but Taeyong still felt like it grew exponentially warmer the moment he grabbed his hand.

They began to walk. It was a slow, short walk to the street. The sidewalks weren’t crowded with many people. They joined the few that were walking around and headed down towards the station. They passed many storefronts and restaurants, all bustling with noise and overflowing with different scents that Taeyong couldn’t make out clearly.

“Do you want to get something to eat? An early dinner?” Yuta-san asked as they waited for the crosswalk to turn.

Taeyong hummed. “It’s okay,” he said. “I can make something at home.”

“Are you sure?”

Taeyong looked at Yuta-san. In front of them, the crosswalk turned and everyone around them moved forward, but they stood still. “Yes, I’m sure.”

Yuta-san nodded and pulled him forward. Taeyong looked ahead. They hurriedly crossed the street, barely making it to the other side in time.

They were a few minutes away from the station but Yuta-san slowed to a stop. Taeyong frowned and looked at what had caught Yuta-san’s attention.

“Oh,” he said. He pulled the scarves back down. “Do you want to go inside?”

“Can we?” Yuta-san asked, looking towards him. His eyes were nearly sparkling with joy. Taeyong couldn’t deny him the chance.

“Yeah, let’s go in.”

Yuta-san led the way into the store. It was a large store. The white lights above were almost overwhelming. Several shelves filled with nicely folded shirts lined the walls. Racks with more clothes were placed around the store’s floor.

“Welcome!” a young woman greeted, coming around the register. “Is there anything we can help with today?”

“We’re just going to look for a little bit,” Yuta-san answered.

She nodded and let them go, returning to her spot behind the counter.

“There are so many things,” Yuta-san said as they walked further into the store. He let go of Taeyong’s hand and pulled off his gloves, shoving them into his pockets. He looked through some of the racks. “How are there so many things?”

Taeyong took the chance to look around as well. He peeked at the clothes hanging on the racks, finding some cute things, but he didn’t pull them out. He moved towards the back wall, look at everything that was displayed there.

He turned around and saw Yuta-san holding two things. “Look at how cute these are, Taeyong-san,” he said. He held them up for Taeyong to see.

One of the onesies had a small kitten printed on it and little bows all around. The other was similar but had a small dog. Taeyong smiled. “They’re cute.”

He bit down on his bottom lip to keep from laughing as Yuta-san continued to look around, pulling things out to show Taeyong. He seemed excited.

“Oh, Yuta-san…”

“What?” he asked. “How are you not excited?”

“I am!” Taeyong laughed. “But it’s far too early to get excited over clothes, don’t you think?”

Yuta-san set the things in his hands aside on a small display. “Are you worried?” he asked, standing in front of Taeyong. “Taeyong-san?”

The excitement was wiped off his face. Taeyong thought about it for a moment.

“I’m not worried,” Taeyong said. It was true. There was nothing to worry about. Everything was going well so far. “But―”

Yuta-san’s hands came up to cup his face. “You don’t have to worry about anything,” Yuta-san said gently.

Taeyong felt the same thing from earlier. His breath caught for a moment. He quickly let out a huff of breath. He carefully pulled Yuta-san’s hands away. “I told you I’m not,” he said. “I am excited, but I also know it’s too early to be buying clothes.”

Yuta-san looked unconvinced. “If you’re worried, there’s nothing to worry about,” he said, moving away and resuming his search for clothes. “And I don’t think it’s ever too early to buy anything for the baby.”

Taeyong hummed, letting him go off without another word. He continued looking around the store as well. He stumbled upon the other things they had available. The number of blankets and bottles nearly made him panic, but he took a few deep breaths and continued.

He reached a small display of baby shoes. They were cute and small. He smiled to himself as he picked up a few to look at. They were all for toddlers, not babies. It was no use buying something like this now. He set the small pairs of shoes down and moved on.

There was an entire section dedicated to memory-keeping things. He browsed around. There were photo albums, photo frames, and other things meant to store precious items and photos. Taeyong liked the idea but didn’t find anything he liked. He would have to look for another store or browse online to buy something.

“Hello, sir. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Taeyong jumped back. He looked at the saleswoman. She looked like she was younger than him. She was wearing the same thing as the woman from the front register. Her smile was perfect and bright.

“Oh,” he said, “Um, actually, yes. Could you help me find something?”

* * *

“I’m home,” Taeyong said loudly. He closed the door behind him and toed off his shoes. He looked up when he received no response. “I’m home,” he said again.

He slipped on his slippers and left the genkan. He stepped into the living room. Nothing. He peeked into the kitchen. No one.

“Yuta-san?” he asked out loud.

It was nearly seven.

He was about to call out again but his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket. Yuta-san, it read. He answered the call, putting his phone up to his ear.

Taeyong beat Yuta-san to the greeting. “Where are you?”

There was a beat of silence. “What?”

“Where are you? Are you on your way home?”

“I am home,” Yuta-san answered. “Taeyong-san, is everything alright?”

Taeyong didn’t answer. He turned in a circle slowly.

“Taey―”

“It’s Monday,” Taeyong interrupted. The realization just hit him. “It’s Monday.”

“It is.”

“Sorry, I just thought that…” ...you’d be here today, Taeyong didn’t say.

Yuta-san chuckled on the other line. “It’s fine,” he said. There was another moment of silence. “Oh! I left something with some school stuff there. That’s why I was calling. Do you think I could come to pick it up tomorrow morning before you leave for work?”

“You need them for tomorrow?”

“Yes. I told them I’d return their tests today but didn’t have them on me. I remembered that I was grading them when I was at yours.”

“Come pick it up right now,” Taeyong said. Yuta-san made a sound that sounded like a gasp. “I mean, tomorrow morning… you’ll be late if you have to come down here to pick them up. Just come right now. If you can.”

“Can I?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

The call cut and Taeyong pulled his phone away. He stared at the screen until it locked, and then he looked at his reflection in the screen. He looked bewildered. Hurriedly, he pocketed his phone and began to move.

The train ride from Yuta-san’s neighborhood to Taeyong’s was nearly twenty minutes. He had twenty minutes to do everything.

He took off his scarf and pulled off his coat, tossing them onto his bed in his room. He cleared the table from this morning’s breakfast dishes he didn’t have time to wash. He wiped the counters down. He tidied up the living room.

He came across a thick manila envelope. He picked it up and turned it over. Yuta-san’s messy scrawl across the front read ‘Tests’. He held onto the envelope as he placed everything else back into its place.

Taeyong set the envelope down on the dining table. He looked around and admired his work. It hardly looked different than how it did when he arrived, but he felt more at ease knowing he had cleaned up a little.

There was still some time so he ventured back into the kitchen and tried to find something to make.

Before he could decide on anything, the doorbell rang and he hurried out. He stepped into the genkan and unlocked the door, pulling it open.

“You have a key,” Taeyong said but stopped as he took in the sight before him. 

Yuta-san stood there. He was wearing a thick coat over a leather jacket. His hair was hidden underneath a beanie. In his hands, he had large bags.

“I couldn’t set these down,” Yuta-san said. “Can I come in?”

Taeyong moved aside, opening the door for Yuta-san. He stepped in and took his shoes off.

“Oh, let me get the slippers,” Taeyong said, bending down to pull them out for Yuta-san.

They went into the living room. Yuta-san set the bags on the table with a sigh. “Those were heavy,” he said. He pulled off his coat and draped it over the back of a chair. He looked towards the envelope and picked it up. “The tests.”

“I saw them while I was tidying up,” Taeyong admitted. He looked at the bags curiously. “And what is this?”

He inhaled and smelled the delicious food. He looked towards Yuta-san for confirmation.

“Food,” he answered. He set the envelope aside and began to pull out the boxes from the bags. “There’s a place with down the street. I thought I might buy you something so you wouldn’t have to cook after a long day. Did you just get home?”

Taeyong was at a loss for words. His mind was a mess. “Ah, I.. Uh, yes, I got back like half an hour ago. I was just about to make something… You, you should’ve told me you were buying something.”

“It was last minute,” Yuta-san said with a shrug. “I just passed it and caught the smell. I thought you’d like it. I’m going to get some plates for us.”

Yuta-san disappeared into the kitchen. Taeyong blinked.

“You’re staying?” he asked loudly.

“Yes!” Yuta-san called back. He peeked out of the kitchen. “Unless you don’t want me to?”

Taeyong shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I mean… you bought enough for five people. I doubt I’ll eat half of this alone. Here, let me help you.”

It took a few minutes before they were sitting down at the table and eating. They ate in silence for a bit, enjoying the delicious food. Taeyong looked at Yuta-san for a moment.

What was it?

Yuta-san was different. Somehow… But Taeyong couldn’t pinpoint exactly how. He looked the same. He hadn’t done anything to his hair or changed something about his style. Something was off.

When Yuta-san looked up, Taeyong looked away. He focused on his food for a second. “Were you barely getting home when you called me?”

“Huh? Oh…” Yuta-san drank some water and cleared his throat. “Yeah, I had been home for about an hour. I was looking for the tests.”

“Oh.”

More silence.

Taeyong sneaked another glance at Yuta-san as he pushed the rice around on his plate. He sighed.

“Let’s go out this weekend,” Yuta-san said.

“What?” Taeyong asked, eyes snapping up to him. “Why?”

Yuta-san smiled. “Some of the teachers are holding a small party to celebrate a birthday. The invitation extended to significant others,” he said.

The words sent a chill down Taeyong’s spine. “Significant other, huh…”

He bit his bottom lip. He felt silly for wanting to smile at it. How dumb. They were adults, not teenagers. But Taeyong couldn’t help but feel that, like teenagers, they were walking circles around each other, waiting to see who would make the first move.

“Well, you are significant,” Yuta-san said, a teasing smile on his lips. “Aren’t you?”

“Significant in a different way.” Taeyong cracked a smile. “Your co-workers are going to be embarrassed, Yuta-san. How can you do that to them?”

Yuta-san only laughed and shook his head. “Well then it’s their fault if they assume,” he said. He pushed his plate away from him. “Would you like to accompany me?”

“I’d like to,” Taeyong said. He straightened up in his seat. “We’ll go together?”

“Of course.” Yuta-san tilted his head curiously. “Say, I know it’s Monday night, but would you like to watch a movie right now?”

“Right now?”

Yuta-san stood up and circled to where Taeyong was. He offered his hand. “Right now.”

Taeyong took it but when Yuta-san pulled him away, he let out a small yell of surprise. “But the dishes!” he exclaimed. He looked back at the table, baffled. “Yuta-san.”

“C’mon, Taeyong-san,” he said, tugging him a little harder.

Taeyong closed his eyes and held his breath as he turned, stumbled, and crashed into Yuta-san’s body. He felt Yuta-san wrap his arms around his lower back, keeping him steady. Taeyong opened his eyes and was met with Yuta-san’s. They were wide and his pupils were large within the brown irises.

“Careful there,” he whispered. He was so close that Taeyong could feel his breath fanning against his lips.

He took a deep breath and it came out shaky, breathy. “I’m, I’m fine,” he said. He placed a hand on Yuta-san’s chest. He could feel the warmth from Yuta-san’s skin through his sweater. “I’m fine.”

They were close. So close.

Taeyong was unsure what it was. Perhaps it was Yuta-san’s involuntary instinct, but Taeyong felt completely enraptured by their sudden closeness. He tried to breathe in and it caught in his throat. He was overwhelmed with the warmth and a scent that had become familiar over the last month.

“Taeyong-san.”

He snapped out of his thoughts for a moment, bringing him attention to the man holding him. “Wh―”

Before he could form anything coherent, Yuta-san was leaning in, closing the space between them. His lips were soft, warm. It took a moment to register, but once it did, Taeyong’s eyes closed slowly. Taeyong’s fingers curled until he had a fistful of Yuta-san’s sweater in his fist. His other hand moved up and sat on Yuta-san’s hip.

They kissed slowly. Yuta-san tightened his hold around Taeyong and somehow, the space between them got even smaller. They were as close as they could get now.

Taeyong pulled away first. “We, we can’t,” he said breathlessly, voice teetering above a whisper. He let go of Yuta-san’s sweater and gently pushed him away. Yuta-san’s arms fell from around him without much protest.

“Why not?” Yuta-san asked. He didn’t move when Taeyong took a step back.

He looked at Yuta-san’s face. He didn’t look hurt or upset. He looked more confused than anything else. Taeyong felt a knot form in his throat.

“I…” Taeyong swallowed hard. “I mean, not now.”

Yuta-san still looked confused but he stepped back. “Okay,” he said. “Okay.”

There was a second of silence and hesitation. Taeyong wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to make the first move here.

Thankfully, Yuta-san didn’t mind doing it. “I think that we could postpone the movie,” he said. He seemed to be back to reality. “I’ll take my leave now. Thank you, Taeyong-san, for letting me in and finding the tests for me. Good night.”

Taeyong only looked at him. Yuta-san walked to the table and collected the large envelope. He took his coat from the back of the chair. He gave another glance at Taeyong.

When he didn’t move, Yuta-san left, disappearing into the genkan. Taeyong heard the door open and close.

He let out a long sigh as he fell into the armchair. He closed his eyes, tossing his head back.

Why was this so hard? Why was he being so complicated?

Yuta-san was interested. There was enough flirtatious banter and smiles sent his way to confirm that. And with the things he said sometimes, there was no denying that there could be something there for them to explore. They were an 82% match. And according to Boa, such a percentage meant they would work out.

They could’ve been married by now!

Taeyong opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling for a while. He bit his bottom lip, worrying it until it threatened to break and bleed. He placed his hands on his stomach. 

One could say that they had something better than marriage.

He sat up and looked at the coffee table. There, near the small plant Taeyong had placed in the center, was the journal. Taeyong reached for it, grabbing the pen beside it as well.

He had been trying to keep up with the journal, writing in it at the end of the day when he remembered to. It was mostly him that wrote in it since he was the one that was pregnant. Most times, he wrote about how he was feeling and he kept track of what he ate, drank, and the activity he did. After the last doctor's appointment, Yuta-san had the chance to write in it again, sticking the new sonogram inside.

Taeyong pulled his legs up onto the large armchair and opened the journal to the next blank page. He uncapped his pen, but before he could write anything, he turned the page back and reread the last entry. The doctor’s appointment entry. He read over his words.

He wrote everything in Korean, to keep up the practice. There were few occasions when he had to speak or write in his native language, and though he had grown up with it, he feared losing his ability in it if he didn’t constantly use it. The words he wrote stood out on the page, a small paragraph in Korean tucked in between Japanese.

He moved up to read Yuta-san’s writing. Of course, it was a heartfelt message and Taeyong had to hold back his smile as he read. He could hear the words in his mind, hear all of the places Yuta-san would pause and exclaim, voice filled with awe and excitement.

He turned back to the empty page and finally began writing.

Taeyong lost count of how many times he had turned down a drink from one of Yuta-san’s co-workers. From beside him, Yuta-san looked apologetic. 

“I’m sorry, Taeyong-san,” he said. “If I had known what kind of party this would be, maybe I wouldn’t have brought us here.”

“It’s fine,” Taeyong said nonchalantly. He took a sip of his water. He couldn’t be too upset, even though the location was a bar. Yuta-san was very sincerely apologetic for him to be upset. “It’s very nice of your co-workers to offer.”

“Do you drink often?” Yuta-san asked.

“When my friends let me,” Taeyong answered with a laugh. Even when they went out drinking on Friday nights, they restricted Taeyong to a few drinks before cutting him up. He scrunched his nose up. “I don’t handle drinks well. Thankfully, it’ll be about a year before you have to see me like that. You’ll have no clue what’s coming.”

“I’ll prepare myself for what may come,” Yuta-san answered with a smile.

A young woman approached them with a big smile on her face and drink in hand. “Yuta-kun!” she exclaimed.

“Haruka-san,” he greeted. He motioned to Taeyong. “This is my good friend, Lee Taeyong.”

She looked at Taeyong with curious eyes. Her mouth formed a small ‘oh’. 

“Taeyong-san, this is Tomoshita Haruka,” Yuta-san said. “She teaches history and helps out with the dance club sometimes.”

Taeyong smiled at her. “Hello,” he said. “Nice to meet you.”

“A pleasure,” she said. She looked back at Yuta-san. “Yuta-kun, let’s dance.”

“Oh.” Yuta-san looked at Taeyong.

Taeyong waved him off. “Go ahead,” he said.

Tomoshita-san set her drink on the bar and grabbed Yuta-san’s arm, pulling him away before he could say anything else. Taeyong sent his best smile to them.

“Nothing your good friend won’t mind,” Taeyong muttered as he brought his glass of water back to his lips.

He sighed and turned around on the stool. The music seemed to increase in volume and the talking around him grew louder as well. He could feel a headache coming on. He set his glass on the bar counter and sighed. He wished he could take a drink now. It would make everything more bearable.

Someone sat in the stool beside him. Taeyong spared them a glance, catching them ordering some drinks. He looked away and focused on the various bottles behind the bar. When the bartender placed them on the counter, a hand pushed one over into Taeyong’s line of sight.

Taeyong straightened up and pushed it back. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” he said, eyes moving up to the face of the person offering.

It was a man, maybe a few years older than him. “Don’t worry about it, I got it,” he said. He pushed the drink closer again. “Go ahead.”

“Oh, but I really can’t drink,” Taeyong said with a tight-lipped smile.

The man backed off. “More for me then,” he said. “Who are you here with? I don’t recognize you.”

“Nakamoto-san,” Taeyong answered.

“Ah, Yuta-kun’s friend,” he said, eyes lighting up with curiosity. “He mentioned bringing someone but Yuta-kun isn’t one to mingle outside the circle of teachers so we were curious.”

“Yeah,” Taeyong said dryly.

“Well, Yuta-kun’s friend, I’m Yokoyama Takeshi. I teach English at the school.”

“Lee Taeyong. A pleasure to meet you, Yokoyama-san.”

Yokoyama-san leaned in a little. It wasn’t enough to be uncomfortable but Taeyong was surprised by the forwardness of his behavior. “Say, Lee-san, have you known Yuta-kun long?”

“A couple of months,” Taeyong answered, leaning away a bit. “You’ve known him a while now?”

“Since he started working at the school.” Yokoyama smiled. “You’re prettier than Yuta-kun said you were.”

Taeyong’s eyes widened. He felt his heart begin to race in his chest at the thought. “He said I was?”

“Yes, but he doesn’t see anyone else but Haruka-chan. Of course, he had no choice but to downplay your beauty.”

Just as quickly as Taeyong felt himself get excited over the prospect, his heart fell to the bottom of his stomach. “Oh? And that’s Tomoshita-san?”

“Yes!” Yokoyama-san exclaimed. “You met her already?”

“Briefly,” Taeyong said.

“He’s been in love with her for three years? She’s only beginning to show interest now. You know how women can be.” Yokoyama-san leaned in closer. His mouth formed a small ‘oh’. Something had piqued his interest. He leaned back to look at him properly. “Or maybe you don’t?”

“Pardon?”

“Lee-san, I’m sorry, but…” Yokoyama-san tilted his head, slightly pouting. “I’m sorry but… are you pregnant?”

Taeyong looked away, face burning. “Yes, I am,” he said, embarrassed.

“Oh my,” Yokoyama-san said. He let out a loud laugh that made Taeyong cringe away. “Why are you out here tonight, Lee-san? Yuta-kun is a fool for bringing you here.”

“Yuta-san meant no harm,” Taeyong said. He didn’t know why he was so quick to defend Yuta-san, but he felt uneasy. Something was telling him this wasn’t right. “I agreed to come.”

Yokoyama-san leaned in once more. He took a deep breath. “What’s a pretty, little pregnant omega like you doing out here alone?” he asked. There was something in his voice that changed. It was lower, hovering above a whisper. It made chills run down Taeyong’s spine, and not the good kind. Red flag, red flag. “Unmarked and going out with other alphas… what kind of omega are you, Lee-san?”

“I’m sorry, Yokoyama-san,” Taeyong said, sliding off the barstool. He gave his best tight-lipped smile. “I really should be going now.”

“What about Yuta-kun?”

Taeyong paused. He looked towards the small dancing crowd. He spotted Yuta-san and Tomoshita-san easily. She had her arms around Yuta-san’s neck and she was smiling up at him. Yuta-san was speaking to her, but something was shining in his eyes.

“He’ll find his way back to his place,” Taeyong said as he turned back to look at Yokoyama-san. His voice came out with more disdain than he intended. He sounded bitter. “Good night, Yokoyama-san.”

He turned and hurried to the bar exit. He glanced over his shoulder but saw no one following. Right by the exit was the door to the restrooms. He pushed it open and hurled himself over the toilet bowl.

Nothing came out, but he was panting. He felt like he was going to be sick.

He pulled his phone out from his pocket and quickly moved to his messages. He nearly called Johnny as he was the contact that showed up first but remembered that he was in the United States for a holiday. He moved to Jaehyun next but remembered him mentioning a date night.

Doyoung was next.

He was always quick to answer so within a second, the line connected. “Taeyong?”

“Doyoung,” Taeyong said breathlessly. “Doyoung, please come help me.”

“Taeyong? Where are you? What’s going on? Tell me, I’m grabbing my coat and leaving now.” He sounded panicked. Taeyong heard Mizu-chan’s voice in the background, asking if something was wrong. “Mizuho, I’ll be right back. Taeyong needs me to pick him up. Taeyong? Are you still there?”

“I’m in a bar in Roppongi,” Taeyong said. “Bar Shot, or something.”

“Okay,” Doyoung answered. “I know which bar you’re talking about. Where are you? Outside?”

“I’m in the restroom.”

Doyoung let out a deep breathe. “Okay. Are you hurt? Can you walk?” he asked. “There’s another bar nearby. It’s a jazz bar. You can’t miss it. Can you meet me there?”

“Yes,” Taeyong answered. “I’ll wait inside there.”

“Fifteen minutes,” Doyoung said. “I’m getting in my car now.”

* * *

The jazz bar that Doyoung told him to wait at was quiet and calm. There were a few patrons but not enough to be overwhelming. A small live setup in the corner provided soft music that soothed Taeyong.

The bartender seemed to notice he was frazzled so she didn’t ask much. She filled a glass with water and slid it over, only telling him that water was free.

Taeyong took a few sips, feeling himself relax.

He felt bad about leaving Yuta-san, but he had looked very comfortable where he was. Taeyong didn’t want to be an inconvenience to him. 

Just as he finished up his water, the door opened and Doyoung walked inside. Taeyong felt like he could burst into tears. Doyoung spotted him immediately and rushed over.

“Taeyong,” he said. He grabbed his arm and pulled him around to look at him. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” Taeyong said.

Doyoung frowned and sat on the stool beside him. “What the hell were you doing at a bar like that?” he asked. He motioned for the bartender, who came over. He asked for his drink and once she went away, he looked towards him curiously, waiting.

“Yuta-san invited me to a party and it was there,” Taeyong answered.

“And where the fuck is he now?”

“He was with someone else,” Taeyong said. He sounded sad and he hated it. “He seemed fine. He won’t even notice I’m gone.”

The bartender came back with Doyoung’s drink and Doyoung gulped it down, asking for another. She gave him a look but took back his glass. He looked at Taeyong. “See what you’re making me do? I’m drinking!”

Taeyong couldn’t help but smile. He looked over his friend. “You’re wearing your pajamas, too.”

“I didn’t have time to change!” Doyoung scowled. He was indeed wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt, a jacket over it. He pulled out his phone from his pocket. “I came over without thinking. Mizuho kept sending me texts while I was driving. I’m going to answer those and tell her you’re alive.”

“Thank you for coming to pick me up,” Taeyong said.

Doyoung’s sour expression disappeared. “Of course,” Doyoung said. “Do you want to go now?”

“Yes,” Taeyong said.

Doyoung took down the rest of his drink and then reached for his pocket again. He paused. “My wallet,” he said.

“I got it,” Taeyong answered, pulling out his to pay for Doyoung’s drinks.

They walked out and Doyoung was nice enough to open the door for him. He circled the car and got into the driver’s seat. He started it and pulled his seat belt over his body.

“I’m dropping you off at yours?” Doyoung asked. He hummed. “Or are we having a sleepover?”

Taeyong smiled. Doyoung rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically as he turned back to the wheel.

“Mizuho has the spare bedroom prepared already,” Doyoung said as the car began moving forward. “You might want to send that asshole a text message or something. Even if he was with whoever or whatever, he will notice you’re gone when it’s time for him to go home. Or at least I hope he remembers.”

Taeyong laughed but pulled out his phone. He typed out a quick message. It was very dry, but he didn’t know what else Yuta-san was deserving of right now. He sent it without thinking and put his phone away, turning the volume down.

“Thank you, Doyoung,” Taeyong said.

Doyoung only hummed. “Want music? Play whatever you like.”

Taeyong played one of Doyoung’s favorite artists. Doyoung was very excited and as they stopped at each red light, Doyoung moved about in his form of dancing. He sang loudly and Taeyong cheered, forgetting the situation he had been in earlier.

They reached Doyoung and Mizu-chan’s apartment after about twenty minutes. Doyoung led the way and when he pushed opened the front door, Taeyong heard Mizu-chan hurrying over to them.

“Tae-chan!” she exclaimed. She ignored Doyoung, much to his dismay, and wrapped her arms around Taeyong. “Oh, I’m glad you’re okay! Doyoung left like a mad man in his pajamas!”

“I’m feeling great, Mizu-chan,” Taeyong answered.

“Let me show you to the room,” she said, taking his hand and pulling him further into the apartment. “Would you like to take a bath? I’m sure Doyoung can spare some of his clothes.”

“I’d love that, Mizu-chan.”

* * *

Doyoung was kind enough to drive Taeyong back to his apartment the next morning after breakfast. Taeyong waved goodbye to his friend and went into the complex.

He took the elevator up, humming a song they had heard in the car. The doors opened on his floor and he stepped out. He unlocked his door and pushed it open.

He took off his shoes but as he did so, he noticed that there was a familiar pair already there.

He quickly put on his slippers and walked further inside.

“Hello?” He spotted Yuta-san immediately. “Yuta-san? You’re here?”

He was sitting at the dining table, but quickly stood up and turned to look at him. “Taeyong-san.” He took long strides to him. “I’m so sorry about last night.”

“It’s fine,” Taeyong said dismissively. “I felt a little sick and I didn’t want to bother you so early into the party. I called a friend and stayed with him.”

“It’s not fine,” Yuta-san said. “And I’m sorry for what Yokoyama-san said. He didn’t mean to upset you.”

Taeyong frowned. “I’m sorry, but do you know what he said to me?” he asked. “It was unacceptable what he said to me.”

“It was, and I’m sorry―”

“Are you just going to keep apologizing? And are you going to apologize for him?” Taeyong asked, bitterness in his voice. “I understand they’re your friends and you work with them every day. But think about what he said and if you want to apologize for it.”

Yuta-san looked surprised. His surprise quickly turned into something like frustration. Taeyong wrapped his arms around his stomach protectively.

“What are you saying?” he asked. “Taeyong-san―”

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong interrupted, “Nakamoto-san, I think it’s best if you leave now.”

“Wait, don’t I get to say something?” Yuta-san asked. 

He was getting angry. Taeyong could feel it and it was beginning to become too much. He wasn’t one to cower away, but the pheromones Yuta-san was releasing was agitating him. This could easily become dangerous. Like last night, a million red flags raised.

He felt a knot form in his throat.

“You’re just going to kick me out?”

“I think you’ve said enough for today,” Taeyong said. He tried to keep his voice as steady as possible, asserting himself. When it was clear that Yuta-san had more power here, he looked away. Taeyong was weak. “We can talk about this, but not now. Not today. Please leave.”

“I’m sorry,” Yuta-san said. He seemed to realize something because he retreated. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.”

Taeyong didn’t look at him. He focused on the floor, only listening to Yuta-san move around his apartment, collecting his belongings before leaving.

The door closed with a resounding slam that shook Taeyong to his core.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... that was going the way I wanted it to go... and then it didn't go the way I wanted it to go at all. Please let me write the two of you into a relationship already...
> 
> Anyway, thank you for all the lovely comments! They motivate me to write more and some of you have some interesting thoughts on who their baby will be. I'm excited to decide who it will be! :D


	6. Let’s Talk About Your Parents and Your Future Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long for me to write. I got into a writer’s block with this fic and didn’t want to force myself to write since I love this so much and the last thing I want is to feel obligated to make shit up for you all. But after a long winter of emptiness, I’m back with something I enjoy and think you might as well! The beginning is a bit... off, but I promise the ending is worth it. The first part takes place around December 23, but the second part is around January 12, so I skipped quite a bit in between for the sake of the length!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Chapter title is taken from “Telephone” by Waterparks!

December came much quicker than he liked. And with it, the colder weather finally settled itself across Tokyo, blanketing them in grey clouds and an even greyer sky. 

When packing up his bag throughout the week, Taeyong had packed his umbrella, just to be safe. And today, he made sure that it was in his bag first thing in the morning after he caught the weather forecast. There was a fifty percent chance of precipitation all day and if the sky was anything to go by, it would be heavy rainfall.

Taeyong opened up the curtains over the glass door that led to his balcony as he tidied up the living room, letting in the light from the outside. It wasn’t much and when he turned around to look at his living room, he thought it looked rather dreary.

Dreary. A clear reflection of how he felt.

He sighed but continued with his morning routine.

In the years he had spent alone, Taeyong had developed the perfect routine for his days off.

Tidy up, eat, work, eat, and then go out to play.

It had never failed him. He was productive but also saved enough time for fun with his friends.

But then his routine had been disrupted by one individual.

Or two.

Days off had become hectic. Waking up late, feeling well-rested and ready for another day, and staying in bed a bit longer than usual because it was warm and there were no worries. Tidying up took up more time and Taeyong had started to make breakfast later, closer to brunch time, which didn’t bother him much because, for once, he had someone to share it with and they didn’t mind. They’d talk for too long, long after they finished eating, and clean up in a hurry, smiling and laughing together. They’d skip getting dressed for the day, staying in their pajamas. He’d venture off to the armchair to grade assignments… Taeyong would take his place on the couch and pull his laptop over his lap… the television on in the background.

They’d skip lunch because breakfast was enough but he’d make Taeyong a tea, nice and warm, and give him something small to snack on… 

But that had gone away. Taeyong was forced back into his old routine and… how had he ever lived so mundanely? It felt like he had been in a warm house, sitting before a bright fire, finally enjoying something, and then he had been pushed out into the cold, freezing and shaking in just his pajamas.

He had woken up early. His eyes still felt heavy but had been no use going back to sleep. It was time to start the day, beginning with tidying up the living room. He had left it as it was the night before, papers and files strewn all over. He collected them carefully and set them aside for later.

He watered his plants, speaking to them gently, asking them questions. They didn’t answer the way he wanted them to. They were not him.

A sigh.

Today, Taeyong yearned for coffee but he held back from making it, though he did longingly look at the unopened bag of expensive coffee beans that Johnny had gotten him a while ago. Instead of preparing coffee, he warmed some water and drank it as he made himself a simple breakfast of rice, grilled fish, and the last of the eggs he had in his fridge.

He ate in the kitchen, leaning against one of the counters. He was aware that he looked pitiful. He was eating his sad breakfast while standing in his small, dark kitchen, still dressed in his pajamas. No sound, no happiness. It felt miserable. 

In all honesty, he felt miserable.

The previous week, he and Yuta-san had gone to see Ishigami-sensei for the monthly checkup and it had been one of the most excruciating experiences that Taeyong had gone through. It had been a quick appointment that was done within an hour. Ishigami-sensei just wanted to see how Taeyong was progressing. But it had felt like it had gone on for hours. 

Yuta-san seemed more interested in Ishigami-sensei than usual, keeping his attention on her and not sparing a glance at Taeyong throughout the entire appointment. He asked questions and noted the answers, but looked away, seeming to feign disinterest, when Taeyong asked the questions he had.

Following the appointment, Yuta-san had walked Taeyong to the train station but hadn’t accompanied him home like he had the last few months. He made sure Taeyong boarded, but he didn’t wave. He didn’t smile. He just stood there and stared until Taeyong was on and the train began to move. Only then did Yuta-san turn away, not sparing a glance back at him.

It was not out of spite or disdain. Taeyong could tell from the atmosphere that surrounded them the entire time. Yuta-san was not mad, but afraid and hesitant, avoiding him. It was hard on Taeyong because his instinct urged him to accept Yuta-san and comfort him. Alphas, when feeling unwanted, looked for comfort, but Yuta-san had not reached out to him. It must’ve been harder for Yuta-san.

And Taeyong couldn’t stop thinking about it.

He hated sulking around like a child, but he couldn’t help it.

He walked around the entire week with a permanent pout on his face and big, sad eyes. Doyoung pitied him, but he was concerned as well, checking in on him at work every few hours with a lame excuse to come into his office. Jaehyun was also worried and although he was a bit more subtle about his checking, Taeyong knew Jaehyun too well to not notice it.

And then there was Johnny. Taeyong figured Doyoung was the one that told him when he returned from the States. The night Johnny arrived, he came over to drop off Taeyong’s souvenir but lingered around for almost an entire hour, asking him how he’d been. Taeyong didn’t think about it too much, but then Johnny began texting him a bit more after that. It wasn’t a rare occurrence to have Johnny send him messages asking how he was, but the messages had increased since he returned.

Taeyong had tried to be more upbeat. He knew that his mood was not only dragging his friends down but also affecting the quality of his work and soon, his co-workers would begin to notice he was off.

He was feeling more energetic as he entered the second trimester. He woke up with a bit more energy and felt refreshed. Most of the things he hated began to fade away: the sickness had gone away and the fatigue he felt had faded. But there was still a heavy weight on him that was keeping him down.

He knew he needed to talk to Yuta-san. It had been three weeks since the last time they properly talked and the longer they let it go on, the tenser it would become. That wouldn’t be beneficial for their relationship, Taeyong and the baby’s health for the remainder of the pregnancy, or the events that would follow the birth. Taeyong wasn’t one to let these kinds of situations drag on for too long but something was holding Taeyong back.

Breakfast went on into the late morning and by the time he was washing his dishes in the sink, it was nearing eleven o’clock. He let out a dejected sigh as he caught the time on the clock hanging from the wall.

He shuffled into the living room, slippers sliding across the wood floor. He picked up his work from the night before as he passed by the dining table and then moved to the couch. He sat on the end closest to the glass door of his balcony and placed his things on the coffee table. 

He brought his legs up onto the couch and pulled one of the throw blankets over himself, wiggling his cold toes underneath. He pulled his laptop up to rest on the arm of the couch, opened it up, and dove headfirst into the work waiting for him.

The afternoon came around much quicker than he liked. He hadn’t even noticed the time and he wouldn’t have if his stomach hadn’t begun to grumble, telling him it was time for a late lunch. He opened a new tab on his laptop, going to the website of a place he frequented. He was in no mood to leave his apartment, especially not with the weather, and there was nothing much to make in the kitchen. He hadn’t gone shopping for groceries.

He sent in his order and received a confirmation email that popped up in the corner. He set aside his laptop and pushed himself off the couch, sighing in relief as he felt his body stretch out. He had gotten through a good amount of work and would be able to enjoy the next few days he had off work.

Christmas was a few days away and he was ready to just stay home and spend the holiday sleeping and eating food. Christie and Johnny had invited him to spend the holiday with them, but Taeyong knew that it was just to be nice on their end. Christmas was a very special holiday for them, perhaps the only holiday Johnny could do something romantic for Christie without having the twins tagging along, though they wouldn’t have minded going out with their kids.

The same thing happened with Mizu-chan. She and Doyoung had planned a trip to visit Mizu-chan’s hometown and spend a week there, celebrating Christmas and the New Year. They would be staying with her parents, but they could move to a hotel and stay in a room beside Taeyong. There were plenty of onsens nearby if Taeyong wanted to just relax, but he had politely declined her invitation. She would’ve insisted, but Doyoung had stopped her from asking him again, knowing that Taeyong didn’t want to join them.

But just because he had stopped Mizu-chan didn’t mean Doyoung didn’t notice the isolation Taeyong was putting himself into. Doyoung had gotten Johnny on his side and together, the two of them roped Jaehyun into it. Like most things they did, they didn’t keep it secret from Taeyong.

“Tuesday night is our night,” Jaehyun had declared. “We are going to have a Christmas party at Johnny’s, and you are going to be there.”

Taeyong appreciated his friends more than they would ever know. They had not let him do anything. Doyoung had taken charge, but the three of them had prepared everything together over the week. But seeing the weather now and still being in such a mood, Taeyong wondered if he would even leave his apartment tonight.

He shuffled back across his living room, going to get water and a small snack while he waited for his food to arrive. He leaned against the counter, glass in hand, just waiting.

It was quiet in the apartment.

It was always quiet. Taeyong wasn’t one that made too much noise. He listened to music but never played it out loud as to not disturb his neighbors. He used his earbuds for that. He didn’t like leaving the TV on or having a sound machine playing in the corner. They were too distracting for him to focus on anything. 

He preferred it to be quiet.

But after having Yuta-san stay at his apartment over the weekends, Taeyong had gotten used to having the TV on in the background and hearing Yuta-san play his music out loud as he graded assignments at the dining table or in the armchair, humming along and singing underneath his breath, head moving this way and that to the rhythm.

It amazed him how quickly he had adjusted. Taeyong had thought that’s how it would remain. He thought that it would never go away. It would be a short-term arrangement for now but then it would be permanent. The plan had always been to move in together at some point, into a place that would fit all of them. But that had fallen apart rather quickly.

The sound of Taeyong’s doorbell made him jump. The water in his cup sloshed over, running over his fingers and dripping down onto the tile.

He cursed under his breath, setting the cup on the counter as he looked down at the water, slowly spreading over the tiles. He grabbed a kitchen towel and tossed it over the small puddle before leaving the kitchen, drying his hand on the front of his sweater.

The doorbell rang again.

“I’m coming,” Taeyong called out as he stepped into the genkan. He turned the lock and pulled open the door.

“Delivery for Taeyong?”

The voice was familiar. A teasing tone, just underneath as always. And a teasing smile to match.

Taeyong’s eyes widened. “What are you doing here?”

His friends ignored him, gently pushing him aside and letting themselves into the apartment.

“Doyoung guess you were going to bail, so we came to you,” Johnny explained. He pushed his shoes aside with his foot, moving them out of the way. “The delivery guy was right outside and he saw us coming to the door.”

“Why did he just give you the food?” Taeyong asked.

“Doyoung said he lived here,” Jaehyun answered.

Doyoung grimaced. “I didn’t say that explicitly. I only implied that I _ could _ be the guy that lived here.”

“Well, thanks,” Taeyong said, not caring how or why. He looked at Johnny, eyes narrowing as his eyes moved to what he was holding. “Give me that.”

Taeyong took the bags from Johnny’s hand and moved into the apartment, going to the dining table. He began to pull out the boxes and set everything out. He opened the first box and the smell of fried rice hit him, making his stomach grumble and his mouth water. He was hungrier than he thought. He continued to open the rest of them, carefully organizing them over the table.

He rushed to the kitchen to get some plates and chopsticks. He set them down on the table, rearranging them until it all fit perfectly on the small table. 

His friends gathered around him, almost waiting for him to invite them to sit down.

“Sit,” Taeyong said. They each took their seats, already murmuring about how good the food looked. Taeyong huffed and put his hands on his hips. “I thought I was going to be a guest at this Christmas party.”

“Since we had to come to you, you’re the host now,” Johnny said teasingly.

Taeyong rolled his eyes, but a smile threatened to form on his face. “Fine, fine.”

He sat down and looked over the table. He had ordered a lot, probably more than he needed. Ishigami-sensei had said that he would need to begin eating a bit more, but that he would need to keep it healthy.

But this was… too much and not healthy. If Yuta-san were here…

Taeyong pushed the thoughts away. There was no Yuta-san now. He wasn’t here. His friends were.

He looked over the table, meeting expectant faces.

“Dig in,” Taeyong said, reaching for his chopsticks.

* * *

Taeyong stepped back inside and closed the door once the elevator doors had closed, taking his friends with them. He sighed contently, shuffling back into his living room. He felt warm and happy.

Spending time with his friends had lightened his mood. He felt like the weight on his chest had been lifted, if only for a little while. He would enjoy it while it lasted. He could put some music on and dance. That’s how happy he felt right now. But he didn’t.

He was about to begin clearing up the table but his phone began to ring. He hurried over and picked it up.

Jaehyun’s contact took up the screen. Taeyong tapped the answer button and brought his phone up to his ear. “Hey, did you forget something?” he asked. He began to look over the table and then towards the living room, trying to find something that didn’t belong.

“No, no, but something…” Jaehyun stopped. Taeyong could hear him pull away from the phone to ask a question but he didn’t catch what it was or who it was that answered. “Doyoung said he’s not sure, but he thinks that he saw your… significant other go into the complex just now.”

“What?” Taeyong asked.

Of course, it wouldn’t last long.

“Just… Doyoung said he’s not sure. He can’t remember how he looks like. We didn’t want to worry you, but just in case it is, we wanted you to be ready to open the door.” Jaehyun took a deep breath. “Or not open the door and turn off all your lights. Do you want us to come back? We’re standing right outside the complex.”

Yuta-san? Here? Now?

“No,” Taeyong said dazedly. He cleared his throat, blinking a few times. He scuffed his slippers on the floor. “No, no. It’s fine. If it’s him, I’ll answer and see what he has to say. I’ve been meaning to call him anyway. Thank you, Jae.”

“Taey―”

Taeyong cut the call before Jaehyun could finish. He set his phone down and looked around the apartment. It was a mess. And if it was Yuta-san, Taeyong could not let him into the apartment if it looked like this. He hurried, collecting all the trash from the table and putting them into the bags that the food had come in. He brought the bags to the kitchen, leaving them by the bin to take out later.

He came back out and fixed the living room, putting away all the work stuff he had been doing, muttering under his breath. As he did so, he caught sight of himself in the mirror he had hung above the couch. He winced and wondered if he had enough time to make himself look a bit more presentable.

It was too late to be embarrassed that his friends had seen him like that. But they were his friends, and he had seen them in very sorry states before so they couldn’t say much to him about it. Yuta-san had never really seen him look so… not put together. It would be too much, too obvious. 

It could not start now.

Taeyong managed to change into a pair of jeans but was halfway through taking off his sweater when the doorbell rang. He groaned, pulling his sweater back down in a rush. He smoothed it down, feeling the slight bump of his stomach.

He was fourteen weeks along now. His baby was the size of a peach. For fourteen weeks, he had been on this whirlwind of a journey, but it felt like he hadn’t made any progress at all in anything but keeping his baby healthy and safe.

He wrapped his arms around himself as he walked to the front door. He reached out to open it and sure enough, Yuta-san was standing there.

“Oh, Yuta-san,” Taeyong said, though he didn’t sound all that surprised in his ears.

Yuta-san didn’t buy it either. “Hey,” he said with a small wave of his hand. His eyes drifted down to Taeyong’s stomach, which made him hold onto himself a bit tighter. “Are you available right now?”

“Yeah,” Taeyong said. He stepped back, clearing his throat as he motioned for Yuta-san to come inside. “Come on in. Sorry for the mess.”

Yuta-san crossed over the threshold, murmuring a ‘pardon my intrusion’. He took off his shoes and reached for the slippers that belonged to him. He didn’t look at Taeyong or ask him a question about it. He just put them on and stepped into the living room.

Taeyong followed, closing the front door behind him. He looked at Yuta-san’s back. He could see that Yuta-san’s tan coat was speckled with rain across his shoulders. Taeyong blinked a few times, coming back to the real world.

“Let me take your coat,” Taeyong said, already reaching out to take it.

Yuta-san turned around and met his eyes, making Taeyong stop in his tracks. “I won’t take long, I think.”

“Oh,” Taeyong whispered, dropping his hands. They itched to reach out and touch Yuta-san at his sides. He stepped back, balling his hands into fists to keep from fidgeting. “Okay.”

“Taeyong-san, I…”

Yuta-san looked tense and nervous. Not only that, Taeyong could begin to smell it. Something strong and spicy, more than usual, and it began to burn his nose. He blinked, trying to force the tears away and he held back from scrunching his nose up even though it was beginning to tickle. A normal, genuine reaction.

Hesitation… avoidance… tenseness… fear, Taeyong concluded.

His eyes wandered, looking anywhere but at him. But after a moment, Yuta-san seemed to gather his confidence and looked him in the eyes. There it was. “I want to say I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” Taeyong repeated, this time with a slight inflection in his voice. 

“What happened a few weeks ago was… unacceptable and I realize that I didn’t see how I was wrong. I can only hope you forgive me.”

“Well,” Taeyong said, clicking his tongue, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Please do know that I am sorry,” Yuta-san said.

Taeyong looked at Yuta-san’s face. He did look very sorry and Taeyong could feel it in the way Yuta-san was not holding anything back. The look on his face was genuine. It was an expression that Taeyong never thought could cross his face. He looked sad, too. It made Taeyong feel upset.

It made him want to whimper and take Yuta-san into his arms. Just forgive him.

But he couldn’t do that. They weren’t like that. That would be too much for Taeyong to do.

“I mean…” Taeyong shrugged, pouting a bit, “It’s okay.”

“Taeyong-san, it was not okay,” Yuta-san said firmly. There was a change in the atmosphere. A firmness that didn’t leave room for dismissal or complaints. “I should have protected you.”

Taeyong still felt the urge to reach out and wrap himself around Yuta-san. It was his instinct. The omega comforted the alpha when they required reassurance and acceptance, in need of forgiveness.

He couldn’t do that. It made him want to laugh. How could he do that and not make it weird? Thinking about it was a bit strange.

But for once, Taeyong let himself be guided by his body and not his mind.

He wanted to have those good times with Yuta-san again, somewhere deep down in his heart. He didn’t want to argue or ignore him anymore. He stepped a bit closer, itching to reach out and wrap his arms around Yuta-san’s body.

“Then make sure you do that next time,” Taeyong said simply.

“I am never taking you anywhere nearing those people again,” Yuta-san said.

This made Taeyong freeze up for a moment, a shiver going down his spine at the tone of his voice. He pushed that away, too. Another urge he had as an omega.

He wanted to tell Yuta-san not to speak of his co-workers that way, but he couldn’t deny that the sudden protectiveness was a little amusing to him. More than a big threatening dog, Yuta-san was like… a puppy. 

“You are not threatening anyone with that, Yuta-san,” Taeyong replied, biting down on his bottom lip.

Yuta-san blinked at him, an air of confusion surrounding him, which only furthered Taeyong’s belief that he was like a small, cute animal. “What?’ he asked, voice smaller than before.

“Never mind,” Taeyong said. “I’m glad you came. Can we talk a bit more?”

* * *

The trip to Osaka was a few hours long.

Apart from their small luggage, Yuta-san had brought along a blanket for Taeyong and offered a neck pillow for him, which Taeyong had taken very happily. He ate some of the snacks he packed, offering some to Yuta-san.

Taeyong had tired himself out the night before by working on reports that would need to be turned in by mid-January, scheduling them to automatically send over the next week while he was away. He was prepared to take a nap while they made their way through the country to get to Yuta-san’s home.

Yuta-san had paid for their passage on the Shinkansen. He had given Taeyong the window seat without a second thought, taking the aisle seat without a complaint. Taeyong wondered if Yuta-san preferred the window seat and he had almost offered to switch if it hadn’t been for the warning look Yuta-san gave him when they sat down.

It was quiet between them even though everyone else was chattering amongst themselves. Taeyong settled in to take a nap rather quickly, putting his snacks away and pulling the blanket over himself just as they were beginning to pull out of Tokyo Station. Yuta-san had promised that he would wake him up once they were about to reach their destination.

Taeyong had woken up by himself. They were still moving, surrounded by green on either side.

He turned his head to look at Yuta-san, who was looking away, watching something intently. He was leaning a bit into the aisle.

“Yes,” Yuta-san said with a nod of his head, “We have done that! My mother always said that it helped her, so I made sure that he was comfortable with it as well.”

Taeyong almost sat up to see who he was talking to, but he stayed still, wanting to see what it was they were talking about. Him?

“That’s very nice!” a sweet voice replied. It was a woman. She sounded a bit older, perhaps around Taeyong’s mother’s age. “You’re not married?”

Yuta-san shook his head. “Not yet,” he said, sounding almost regrettable. He pinched his lips together for a moment before speaking again. “Though, I do think we’ll be married after the baby is born.”

A bright laugh. It was someone that was a mother. He could imagine her now. “Well, that’s how some relationships are these days!” she exclaimed. Taeyong saw a hand land on Yuta-san’s shoulder, comforting him. “As long as you and he are happy, and the baby is well taken care of, whatever works for you will be the best option.”

“Thank you,” Yuta-san replied.

Taeyong heard the sincerity in his voice. It caught him off guard.

He closed his eyes again when he realized that Yuta-san was leaning back into his seat. He heard a long sigh come from beside him. Then, a warm hand fell on top of his.

Taeyong wanted to pull away but then Yuta-san would know that he was awake. He remained still, trying to keep his breathing steady. Yuta-san began to play with Taeyong’s fingers, humming something softly.

Taeyong shifted in his seat and Yuta-san immediately pulled away. He feigned a stretch and a yawn, moving his hands. The blanket that was covering him fell onto his lap in a small heap. Finally, he opened his eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the light.

He looked beside him. Yuta-san was staring at him.

“Hey,” Taeyong said quietly.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

Taeyong raised his eyebrows.

Yuta-san got flustered. “I, um, I mean, I was just moving and I bumped your hand a bit,” he said.

Taeyong held back his smile. “No,” he said. “I didn’t feel anything. It’s all right.”

“Oh,” Yuta-san breathed out.

They remained quiet for the rest of the train ride. It was about another half hour before they would arrive. Yuta-san pulled out a book to read and Taeyong just looked outside, admiring the green.

He never traveled out of Tokyo. He had lived in Japan for so long, but there was little else outside of the capital for him. On occasion, he did have to leave for conferences or meetings outside of Tokyo, but most were held in Kyoto. He had seen Osaka once, coming to explore in his first years in Japan with Johnny, but that had been so long ago, he was sure that everything had changed so much since then. 

He wondered how Yuta-san must’ve grown up in Osaka. Taeyong had spent his childhood in Seoul, not too different from Tokyo―a big, bustling city with a large population, surrounded by people of all kinds. Osaka, while large, seemed calmer than the rush that was Tokyo.

The countryside soon became small businesses and houses. More people meandering about in the streets that began to appear around them.

The announcement for Osaka Station was made and Taeyong looked back. Yuta-san set down his book, looking towards him.

“Are you ready?”

Taeyong nodded. He moved to the edge of his seat, taking the neck pillow and handing it to Yuta-san. He carefully folded the blanket and placed it over his lap, waiting. Yuta-san put his book into his bag.

When they slowed to a stop, they waited a moment and then stood up. Yuta-san took their bags, slinging one strap of each bag over his shoulder. They carefully shuffled down the aisle to the exit behind those in front. 

They stepped out onto the platform. Yuta-san immediately took his hand, pulling him away from the people that rushed out from behind Taeyong.

Taeyong held his breath for a moment, feeling a bit dazed as he crashed into Yuta-san’s body. He felt the warmth of his body and picked up on the comforting scent that he had gotten too used to. His hands gripped onto Yuta-san’s sleeves, holding on tight until his knuckles turned white.

“Come,” Yuta-san said under his breath.

Yuta-san led them to an emptier part of the platform. He kept Taeyong close, but they were no longer pressed against each other. Yuta-san pulled out his phone, calling someone. Taeyong listened absentmindedly, looking around. Yuta-san’s words were tuned out after a moment.

Osaka was different from Tokyo, but there was a sense of familiarity. It felt right.

“Okay, we’ll walk there,” Yuta-san was saying. It caught Taeyong’s attention. He looked towards him. “Are you ready?”

Taeyong nodded. He took Yuta-san’s offered hand, saying nothing else. It was still a bit awkward, but Yuta-san had been nothing but calm and collected, as always. Taeyong wondered what was going through his mind. Surely, he was thinking about it as well?

There was no way that Yuta-san expected Taeyong’s quick forgiveness, much less his acceptance to join Yuta-san in Osaka. But Yuta-san hadn’t asked.

He had been happy. It had happened slowly. Confusion… and then, carefully, a smile. A smile that made dimples form on Yuta-san’s cheeks, happiness dancing in his eyes. It had been then that Yuta-san had taken Taeyong into his arms, thanking him.

It had taken Taeyong off guard, but like many things that surprised him, he brushed it off with an air of nonchalance, pretending that his heart was not pounding in his chest, wondering just what it meant.

Even now, as they walked out of Osaka Station, Taeyong pretended that his heart was not going crazy, thumping hard in his chest.

_ Thump, thump. _

Taeyong felt Yuta-san squeeze his hand as they made their way out, towards some nearby businesses.

_ Thump, thump, thump. _

“Taeyong-san, it’s my sister,” Yuta-san said. He was excited. “She’s right over there.”

Taeyong looked up and sure enough, his eyes landed on a small woman. She was Yuta-san’s sister. He could see it in their faces. Her hair was long and jet black, making it the starkest difference between the siblings. She had big, round eyes like Yuta-san, but thinner eyebrows. Her lips were nearly the same shape, though they glistened with a pink gloss.

For a moment, Taeyong wondered how something like that would look on Yuta-san. Something bright and pink, sparkly and thick. Taeyong licked his lips, already tasting something sweet like strawberries on his tongue. Taeyong remembered Sojung and one of her favorite lip glosses, and how Taeyong loved kissing her just to taste the sweetness from her lips. In his mind, Sojung was replaced with someone else, larger and stronger. Running his tongue across a plump bottom lip… 

_ Thump, thump. Thump, thump. _

He was not careful enough. He knew it, and he knew that Yuta-san did as well. Yuta-san faltered in his step, looking at Taeyong with a curious gaze. Taeyong saw him tense up, his shoulders stiffening. Something in the air changed. It was a response to Taeyong’s reaction to his thoughts.

“Taeyong-san? Is something wrong?”

“I’m fine,” Taeyong said, pushing the thought away. 

Why had such a thought crossed his mind?

“Yuta!”

Yuta-san looked at his sister. He smiled, but it was hesitant. He peered at Taeyong from the corner of his eye. “We can talk about what just happened when we get home,” he said, voice calm and steady. 

“Right,” Taeyong answered.

He calmed himself down as they took the last few strides and reached Yuta-san’s sister.

“Yuta!” she exclaimed again, opening her arms.

Yuta-san let go of Taeyong and walked into them, wrapping his arms around her small frame. She wasn’t that much smaller, but she still seemed to shrink beside him. They pulled away from each other and her attention turned to Taeyong.

“Hello! It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said with a bright smile that resembled Yuta-san’s. “I’m Yuta’s older sister, Momoka.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Taeyong answered. He smiled at her, using the expression he used at work when meeting with higher-ups or other important people. He wondered if it came off as too impersonal. He relaxed. “I’m Lee Taeyong.”

“Yuta has told me about you!” she said. “I’m very happy that you were able to spend a few days with us here.”

“Of course,” Taeyong said.

“Well, let’s get your things in the car.” She clapped her hands and looked at Yuta. “Go on!”

Yuta-san said nothing, moving to put the bag in the trunk of the car. When he was done, he helped Taeyong into the backseat, making sure he was comfortable. Yuta-san sat in the passenger seat and his sister got in, taking her place as the driver.

As the car left the parking space and began to cruise down the street, she began to talk.

“Lee-san?” she asked. She met his eyes through the mirror for a second.

“My first name is fine,” Taeyong said, feeling awkward about being referred to so formally by Yuta-san’s family.

“Taeyong-san,” she corrected. “You’ve known Yuta for a while now, right? How’s he behaving in Tokyo? He hardly calls us anymore.”

In the passenger seat, Yuta-san began to glare at his sister. It was like he was a young child. “Stop that,” he said, but there was no bite to his tone. “He’s not here to be a reporter or something.”

She laughed. “Taeyong-san, I’m sorry that you have to go through each day with this kid. I know that you have plenty more to worry about than babysitting him.”

Taeyong tried to laugh, but it came out weird. She didn’t seem to mind. “Well, he’s not that badly behaved,” he decided to say, which seemed to please her because she burst out into another small fit of laughter.

Beside her, Yuta-san seemed to want to be upset but Taeyong could see the smile that tugged at his lips.

“Please do not indulge her,” Yuta-san said, turning to look at Taeyong. He didn’t mean it. His eyes were filled with giddiness. He was enjoying it.

“So then who should I indulge? You?”

Taeyong meant it innocently. He only wanted to continue the small joke, but it sounded far from that. His question came out a bit heavy, with something underlying it. He noticed it just as he finished asking.

He felt the tension coming from Yuta-san rise again, his expression falling into something blank. He was processing something and it looked like it was difficult keeping everything off his face.

“Taeyong-san, we’re hoping to spend some time with you, but I’m sure that Yuta wants to show you around Osaka while you’re here.”

“Of course,” Taeyong said, bringing his attention back to reality. “I’ve been to Osaka once before but I never explored it entirely.”

“Oh?” She hummed. “Please tell me about it.”

Taeyong’s eyes moved back to Yuta-san, who still was frozen and quiet. He cleared his throat, but Yuta-san did not react. “Well, I came when I was studying. I came with a friend.”

Momoka-san seemed very interested, asking him more questions.

He tried his best to answer, trying to ignore what Yuta-san was doing, or what Yuta-san was not doing.

After a moment, he was able to distract himself entirely, having to think about how to answer Momoka-san’s questions. Perhaps she had noticed as well and wanted to take the attention away from Yuta-san as well.

In any case, it worked.

* * *

Yuta-san’s family was lovely. His parents had welcomed him with warm hugs and Yuta-san’s younger sister had greeted him with a big smile and bright eyes. They had let them get settled down after going through introductions and a quick meal that Yuta-san’s mother had prepared, though Yuta-san had said it was fine.

While Taeyong and Yuta-san got comfortable, the rest of the Nakamoto family would be stepping out for the afternoon, going to some local event. They had asked them to join, but Taeyong was feeling a bit tired now from traveling for so long.

Yuta-san let him rest on the bed while he went around the room, organizing things.

Taeyong sat quietly, looking around the room. 

He had been offered one of the guest bedrooms, but he declined politely, knowing that it would be a bit odd if they slept in different rooms when they were supposed to be… a couple? Taeyong still wasn’t sure. It was a line that had been muddied and never cleaned.

Yuta-san was certainly surprised for a moment when Taeyong had said it would be fine to share a room with Yuta-san during their stay. Of course, he had been quick to bring himself together, smiling at his parents when they commented on how close they were.

He had panicked for a moment. Just before they had stepped into the room, Yuta-san had warned Taeyong about how some things might be embarrassing. It was Yuta-san’s childhood bedroom. Little had been moved since he had moved out, he said. His parents had never moved his belongings. Only his mother came in to clean to room occasionally to keep it fresh.

Taeyong wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. The Nakamoto house was large, but not something grand that showed how wealthy they were. It was humble. The furnishing was nicely done but not extravagant. It felt somewhat delicate and clean-cut, but also homely and warm at the same time. When Taeyong complimented the house, Yuta-san’s mother had been flattered. She had done it all herself over the years, from picking picture frames to choosing countertops for the kitchen. 

The only room she hadn’t touched was Yuta-san’s. It was like a treasure, she said. It preserved memories of her only child that didn’t live near her anymore, of her only son.

Yuta-san’s room was white, but the walls were decorated with various things.

He had posters across one wall. Taeyong’s attention had gone to those first. He spotted familiar bands but then there were some unfamiliar ones in smaller posters. But they were all rock groups. Taeyong could tell just by how the people in each poster were dressed and posed. He wanted to ask but he held back, not wanting to embarrass Yuta-san. Still, he wondered how Yuta-san must’ve been as a teenager. If he had blasted his music loudly and felt great resentment for the world…

But maybe not. Yuta-san had many photographs displayed around his room, each one depicting a younger, smaller Nakamoto Yuta from nearly thirteen years ago. In each one, he was smiling brightly, his hair long and a bit shaggy. He had a rounder face and a feeling of innocence that Taeyong couldn’t help but feel taken by.

In most of them, Yuta-san also wore a jersey of some sort. There were a few of him wearing a blue jersey, others with him wearing a red jersey, and the odd white or green jersey. There were other young men in some of those photographs, an arm around Yuta-san’s shoulders. All of his teammates. Taeyong imagined what it would’ve been like to know someone like Yuta-san back then, talented and passionate for a sport, so much so that it won him offers to the national team.

“You’ve earned a lot of trophies,” Taeyong said, his attention moving to the corner.

A few shelves were hung on the wall, each of them filled with small and large trophies. It was hard to not notice them. The gold of each one shimmered under the light that filtered in through the window. Alongside the shelves were plenty of hooks, each one holding one or two medals, most of them gold.

Taeyong wanted to look at them a bit closer but he didn’t want to intrude. He remained on the bed, just admiring.

“Yeah,” Yuta-san said. He stopped what he was doing to look at them for a second. “I guess I did.”

“Your parents must be proud,” Taeyong whispered, finally tearing his gaze away from them.

“Yeah,” Yuta-san repeated. He looked over his shoulder at Taeyong. “You can look at them if you’d like.”

Taeyong slowly got up and moved towards them.

Team names were engraved into some of the plaques. Others had only Yuta-san’s name. He had been awarded many times for his successes as a player, as a teammate, and as a captain. Taeyong felt awed. His fingertips hovered over one of the plaques. Very carefully, he touched the plaque and ran his fingertips over the words engraved there.

_ Nakamoto Yuta. Most Valuable Player. 2012. _

Taeyong pulled away, not wanting to smudge it too much. From the corner of his eye, he saw something. On the middle shelf, behind all the trophies was another photograph. Taeyong carefully moved the trophies, pulling it out. He held it in his hands, looking down at it.

It was Yuta-san. He was wearing a blue jersey. His hair was shorter in this photograph. His face was a bit thinner. His arm was wrapped around another young man. He looked to be about the same age, but his features were more defined. Whereas Yuta-san still seemed young and held onto some innocence, the young man beside him looked to have very little of it.

Taeyong saw his arm was wrapped around Yuta-san, but his hand was not on Yuta-san’s shoulders.

His eyes dropped to Yuta-san’s waist and there it was. Yuta-san had been pulled closed.

This was something… different. It was different than the rest of the photographs Yuta-san had in his room.

Taeyong immediately let it go. It moved in the air slowly, drifting side to side, lower and lower until it hit the floor. He took a step back, releasing a long, shaky breath.

“Taeyong-san, are you alright?” Yuta-san asked.

“I’m okay,” Taeyong answered, quickly bending down to collect the photograph. He had it in his hands and was about to put it back where it had been but then he felt it. A warm breath against his neck that sent shivers down his spine.

“Ah,” Yuta-san breathed, “So you’ve found something.”

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong said, but Yuta-san was already reaching for it.

Taeyong turned to see Yuta-san’s reaction. The photograph was hidden away for a reason.

Yuta-san didn’t seem to be upset or anything. He looked down at it blankly, blinking a few times. “This brings back a lot of memories,” Yuta-san finally said.

“Again, I’m sor―”

Yuta-san looked up with a quirked eyebrow. “I didn’t say they were bad, did I?”

Taeyong said nothing. He bit down on his bottom lip nervously.

“His name is Hiro,” Yuta-san said. He walked away. He stopped by the door but he didn’t reach out to open it. Instead, he dropped the photograph into the small trash bin beside it. “He got everything I wanted a few months after this was taken.”

Taeyong hesitated before asking his question. His heart thumped in his chest. “And what was that?”

Yuta shrugged. “A spot on the under twenty-three team,” he said. He looked down into the trash bin. “He knew that I wanted it, but he took it from me.”

“Why?”

Taeyong didn’t know why he asked the question but Yuta-san didn’t seem surprised.

“Because that’s what he did to everyone,” he answered. His voice remained calm and steady. “He took advantage of my hesitance, of my insecurity, just to get what he wanted.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Not anymore.”

Taeyong took a few steps towards Yuta-san. He stopped by the end of the bed, waiting for a sign that it was okay for him to continue.

He felt it again. The need to reach out and comfort Yuta-san. While he looked collected, Taeyong could feel everything that was happening. Despair, insecurity, the need to be reassured and accepted.

“I was mad, but then what I wanted was different,” Yuta-san said with a long sigh. “I realized that a couple of years after that photograph was taken.”

“You didn’t want to be a soccer player?”

“I did,” Yuta-san said. He stepped a bit closer. “But there’s something else I wanted to be more than a soccer player.”

Taeyong met Yuta-san’s eyes.

_ Come_, they said. Taeyong took a few more steps.

“What’s that?” he asked, stopping about an arm’s length away from Yuta-san. “A teacher?”

Yuta-san shook his head. “Being a teacher wasn’t something I thought about until I was halfway through my university career,” he said. “You’re almost there.”

Taeyong took another step, making eye contact with Yuta-san. “Do I get another guess?” he asked, voice wavering just above a whisper.

Instead of answering, Yuta-san closed the space between them. Taeyong felt warm. 

Yuta-san took Taeyong’s face in his hands.

Just before anything happened, he stopped and his eyes looked over his face. Taeyong saw how Yuta-san’s lips moved slightly as if he was mumbling something. He heard nothing though. There was something softer about his expression now and Taeyong felt his entire body shiver.

Then, Yuta-san kissed him and Taeyong’s hands instinctively moved to his waist, pulling him much closer than the guy in the photograph ever had.

* * *

Taeyong had his eyes closed.

He could hear the soft breathing coming from Yuta-san, but it was not coming from beside him. Yuta-san had insisted on bringing a futon in and sleeping on it, leaving Taeyong to have the bed for himself. There was no point in trying to deny Yuta-san. He was very convincing when he wanted to be.

Yuta-san had fallen asleep rather quickly after laying down. He hadn’t had a moment to rest properly. He had woken up early, helped Taeyong, carried all their bags, and then gone around tidying up his room until he felt it was presentable.

Their earlier conversation had been cut short when they both realized what was happening. Yuta-san had been quick to continue cleaning and Taeyong had excused himself to wash up for the night. After that, the Nakamoto family had returned, bringing dinner from a nearby restaurant.

Taeyong pushed the afternoon’s events to the back of his mind. But now that everyone was asleep, he let them come back to him.

Yuta-san said that what he wanted had changed.

What could be better than becoming a player on Japan’s national team?

Taeyong didn’t know. He couldn’t begin to imagine what could be better than that.

He thought of himself.

When he was young, he wanted to become an idol. He had been so entranced by the idea of being someone that performed on stage, in front of thousands of people that knew his name. For a few years, that had been his dream. He tried to learn to write his lyrics and he tried to copy what the idols on TV did, mirroring their moves and then spending hours trying to make his choreographies. It had been everything he wanted for himself. He can’t remember why or when, but it had died off, the idea withering in the back of his mind at some point as he realized that there was something else out there for him.

What he wanted had changed. He wanted to be a firefighter. It was interesting and Taeyong respected the people that put their lives on the line to save others in such a manner. He had looked up how long it took, what was needed, how to train. He was motivated to become one.

That, too, had gone away. Taeyong was no longer intrigued by the idea of being a firefighter after seeing how severely omegas were treated. It was not something suitable for him, no matter how strong he was. He would never be able to succeed there.

Taeyong spent years wandering, drifting between dreams.

His job now was his dream at one point, but then it had changed once he had gotten to where he wanted to be. He still loved his job and was happy, but once a goal was fulfilled, there was always the need for more satisfaction.

The next dream had led Taeyong into this situation. The situation where he is far from home, laying in the bed that once belonged to a young man that was driven and passionate. A young man whose dream was so close to being fulfilled but for some reason, never was, despite being allowed to reach it.

What had caused Yuta-san’s hesitance?

Taeyong wondered if Yuta-san’s heart already knew what he wanted before he did.

Yuta-san had never answered the question.

Taeyong placed a hand on his stomach. The bump was visible. He knew that Yuta-san’s family had noticed it. They already knew, but they had said nothing. It was kind of them to wait for Yuta-san and Taeyong to come out and say it themselves.

Was Taeyong closer to having everything he wanted?

Yes. He was.

He could answer that confidently.

Taeyong opened his eyes and took his hand off his stomach when he heard movement coming from the futon. He moved to the edge of the bed, peering over and down at Yuta-san, who was stretching his arms, letting out a low groan.

“Taeyong-san?” he asked, voice a bit groggy. “What time is it?”

“It’s nearly two,” he answered.

“In the morning? Taeyong-san, you should be asleep.”

“I’m okay,” Taeyong said. He exhaled slowly. “Yuta-san?”

Yuta-san hummed.

“What was it?”

Yuta-san looked at him with tired and confused eyes. “What was what?”

“What did you want to become?” Taeyong asked. “And have you achieved it yet?”

“What?” Yuta-san was squinting up at him. He pushed himself up into a sitting position. “I’m sorry, Taeyong-san, give me a moment.”

Yuta-san yawned and wiped at his eyes, crawling off the futon and moving to the edge of the bed. Taeyong waited quietly.

When he was close enough and seemed more awake, Taeyong asked again. “What did you want to become more than a soccer player?”

“Do you want to know?” Yuta-san asked as he sat crossed leg beside the bed, leaning against it and placing his head on the edge of the mattress.

“Yes.”

Yuta-san hummed. “Well, now that I think about it, there are two answers.”

“Give me the one that you’re closest to becoming,” Taeyong said.

Yuta-san’s face was close. Taeyong could feel his warm breath fan across his face. “Okay,” he said, “The first…”

Taeyong met his eyes. Yuta-san was hesitating. Why?

“A dad,” Yuta-san said quietly. “More than being a professional soccer player, I want to just be a dad.”

“A dad?”

“Yeah.” Yuta-san moved away from him a little, much to Taeyong’s disappointment. “I mean, my dad… he’s great, and if I could just do what he did with my sisters and me, I… would be happy.”

Taeyong felt his heart stutter in his chest.

A father. Yuta-san just wanted to be a father.

He bit the inside of his cheek. “Well then, you are going to be that soon,” he said, trying to keep the smile from spreading across his face. “How do you feel about that?”

“You know how I feel, Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san mumbled. His lips turned down into a small pout. “I can’t say those things out loud.”

Taeyong finally smiled. “Come on, Yuta-san,” he encouraged. “If you can write it, you must be able to say it out loud, right?”

Yuta-san’s pout turned into a shy smile. “Well, what else would I feel? Of course, I’m happy,” he said in a rush. “I’m halfway to reaching my dream.”

“Halfway,” Taeyong repeated. He tilted his head. “Tell me the other one?”

“The second one is a bit harder,” Yuta-san said.

“Why’s that?”

“I can’t tell if you’re teasing me or being serious.”

Taeyong blinked. “I am completely being serious.”

“It’s harder because I don’t know where I am with it. I thought I did, but then I backtracked and I’m trying to see how I can fix it. I want this to happen, Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said. 

“Tell me,” Taeyong whispered.

Yuta-san hesitated but then he leaned in. Taeyong held his breath. Yuta-san did not kiss him again, but his lips grazed over Taeyong’s when he finally answered.

“A husband,” he whispered. “I want to get married.”

Taeyong felt breathless. “To?”

He had a feeling as to what Yuta-san’s answer would be already. He had heard him say it before, while they were on the Shinkansen. It made his entire body grow warm, but cold at the same time.

Taeyong couldn’t say that he didn’t want it. Could he?

He had met Yuta-san for a reason, right? 

Yuta-san’s answer came quicker this time. 

“You,” he said and then he kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for leaving sweet comments each time! I look forward to them every time I post! I think some exciting things are happening soon~
> 
> I went through and cleaned it up as much as I could, but as always, you know me! I still miss so many things each time!


	7. I Can Be Your Baby If You Wanna Be Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. It picks up where the last one ended (mid-January) and then skips a few weeks to Valentine’s Day! 
> 
> Since I've been absent and haven't updated, you all can have a small explicit scene as my plead for forgiveness. I hope it's somewhat decent :P
> 
> The chapter title is from The Regrettes’ “Coloring Book”.

Two days in Osaka and Taeyong felt renewed. It was busy but not as overwhelming as Tokyo. And without having to work, Taeyong was able to enjoy the sights and relax.

It had been so long since he’d left Tokyo to get away from work. He had a few vacation days but he never used them. The only time he was away from work was when he was in heat but that was out of necessity, not pleasure. At least, past heats had been spent like that.

He told this to Yuta-san as they returned from a day out visiting Osaka Castle. 

“I think you should do it more often,” Yuta-san said.

Taeyong laughed. “I don’t think I can pull myself away from work long enough for such things,” he said.

Yuta-san clicked his tongue. “Don’t tell me you’re going to make things difficult for me in the future, Taeyong-san.”

“I’ll try my best not to,” Taeyong answered back, holding back another laugh. A chill ran down his spine at the implication of Yuta-san’s words but he pushed the feeling to the back of his mind. “As long as you don’t make things difficult for me.”

“Me? Difficult?” Yuta-san stepped in front of Taeyong, cutting him off. He had a playful smile on his lips. “Never in my life would I consider that.”

Taeyong reached out and gave his chest a small push. “Hush now.”

Yuta-san turned back around and continued walking. Taeyong followed behind him, keeping the distance small. The Nakamoto house came into view and they walked up the steps. Yuta-san unlocked the door and entered. They switched their shoes out for slippers in the genkan, pulling off their outerwear as well.

“We’re home!” he exclaimed.

“Welcome back!” 

“Mama,” Yuta-san called out, “We’ll be upstairs!”

Yuta-san’s mother called out a response. Taeyong followed Yuta-san up the steps and to the bedroom. It was quiet. Despite them being on a trip there, no one else was on vacation. Yuta-san’s younger sister and his father were at work. Only Yuta-san’s mother was home.

They remained quiet as they stepped into Yuta-san’s room. Taeyong sat on the bed, taking off the slippers and bringing his feet up.

He watched Yuta-san move around the room. They had bought some things and Yuta-san was pulling everything out, placing the items on his desk. He handled the items with care, setting them aside.

“Just leave them,” Taeyong said.

Yuta-san stopped. He set the bag on the desk and turned around. “Alright.”

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong said.

Yuta-san hummed. He came closer, sitting beside Taeyong on the bed. They were close, but not close enough to touch. Taeyong felt comforted immediately. He let himself relax, shoulders slumping.

“We need to tell your parents,” Taeyong said.

“I know.”

“Tonight, like we decided,” he said.

“I know, Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said. 

They had discussed it the night before. They were going to leave tomorrow morning and they had yet to tell Yuta-san’s family. They had accepted Taeyong’s presence and it was likely that they had found the reason why he was there, but they hadn’t said anything, not even when Taeyong was left alone with them.

Yuta-san’s sister, Haruna, had given him curious looks but she was shy and spoke very little in front of him. Momoka-san had also kept quiet, avoiding topics like family and kids. When Yuta-san tried to tell Taeyong that Momoka-san had children of her own and a husband, she had shut him down and instead asked about Taeyong’s work.

So Yuta-san and Taeyong had talked about it. It had been an awkward conversation but it was one that needed to be had. They had to tell his family so they didn’t skirt around it any longer. Yuta-san had assured Taeyong it would be fine but still, he feared facing negative reactions.

Had he tried to get pregnant? No.

Did he want to get pregnant the first time they had sex? No.

Was there anything he could do now? Not really.

If he and Yuta-san’s relationship had progressed normally, he would’ve enjoyed this much more. Visiting Yuta-san’s parents and introducing himself as the person that Yuta-san would spend his life with would have been much less intimidating. Even if they had ended up in the same situation, at least he and Yuta-san were together and planned to stay together.

But coming into the Nakamoto home and meeting Yuta-san’s parents, as he carried the child of their only son without a label on their relationships, was different.

Taeyong’s family was somewhere in the middle. His parents had given him and his sister a comfortable life. Even now, as they reached the age of retirement, they continued to live comfortably. But the Nakamoto family was different.

Yuta-san would never say it but Taeyong could see it. From where their home was in Osaka to how it was decorated on the interior, it was easy to see that the Nakamoto family sat higher on the chain. They had good money underneath their name. They didn’t come off as people that thought of themselves as superior, at least not in the few days Taeyong had been here.

But he knew how families like this worked. He had seen them firsthand.

He remembered the men he used to go on dates with, boasting their wealth and family heritage shamelessly. Parents took pride in their children’s accomplishments. A strong, young alpha prepared to take over the company, living in a high rise bachelor pad, waiting for the perfect omega. And if their children didn’t meet their expectations, the parents had no issue cutting them off.

It was always the same.

It wasn’t that he was scared but he did wonder if his and Yuta-san’s decisions would affect the way that Yuta-san was perceived, not only by his own family but by others in the same sphere.

“It’s going to be okay,” Yuta-san said. His hand fell over Taeyong’s, warm and comforting.

Taeyong only nodded.

Yuta-san let him be after that. He had some work to catch up on. Taeyong let him go, lying down and taking a small nap. Despite having more energy, Taeyong felt he needed to prepare for tonight. He’d need to be as alert and awake as possible.

A few hours later, Yuta-san woke him up. He helped Taeyong up and together, they went down to eat dinner.

“Taeyong-san!”

Taeyong smiled at Yuta-san’s mother. She had insisted that Taeyong refer to her as he would his own mother, but he hadn’t used it much. Tonight, he would indulge her request. “The food looks good, Mom,” he said as he looked over the dining table.

She looked pleased with the name. “Why thank you!” she exclaimed. She clapped her hands together. “Since it’s your last night, I’ve prepared some of my best dishes.”

“Thank you,” Taeyong said with a smile.

They washed up quickly and then sat at the table, joining everyone else.

Momoka-san was the only one not present. She no longer lived there, having a home with her husband a few neighborhoods away. She would not be here to hear their announcement but Yuta-san had promised Taeyong that he would tell her personally tomorrow when she dropped them off at the station.

Yuta-san’s father spoke about his day at work once everyone had sat down and said their thanks. He asked Yuta-san’s sister how her day was. When she finished, he turned to Yuta-san. “You managed to show Taeyong-san the castle?”

Yuta-san cleared his throat. “Yes, Dad,” he said. “We came back in the afternoon.”

“That’s good.”

The rest of the dinner continued with quiet conversation. Taeyong remained quiet.

His shoulders began to get tenser the closer they got to the end of dinner. Once Yuta-san’s mother began collecting their dishes, Taeyong felt the strain across his shoulders and down his spine. He tried to help clear up but she asked him to take it easy.

Haruna-san excused herself to help her mother. So he remained at the table with Yuta-san’s father and Yuta-san. He stayed quiet.

Yuta-san’s father was about to excuse himself but Yuta-san jumped up, stopping him. “Dad, Taeyong-san and I would like to speak with you and Mom about something.”

There was no surprise across the older gentleman’s face. He sat back down and nodded. “Very well,” he said, tone leveled. “We’ll wait for her to finish.”

It wasn’t long before Haruna left the kitchen, bidding them a good night. She disappeared upstairs. The sound of her bedroom door closing sounded quietly upstairs.

And then Yuta-san’s mother appeared, drying her hands on her apron. “Oh,” she exclaimed softly. “You two are still here.”

“They have something to tell us, darling.”

She looked from her husband to them. “Oh.” She quickly pulled herself together and motioned to the living room. “Yuta-san, please show Taeyong-san to the living room. I’ll get some tea for us.”

Yuta-san stood, reaching out to grab her by the wrist. “Mom, please,” he said sternly. “That’s not needed.”

Taeyong felt the shift in the air. It happened in a second. He froze in place.

He looked at Yuta-san’s father. He was looking at Yuta-san. His expression was calm but there was a warning in his eyes. Yuta-san pulled his hand back, sitting down again and clearing his throat.

Yuta-san’s parents were both below him. He had come out an alpha, the only alpha in a family of betas. But Nakamoto-san still had power over Yuta-san, as his father, the head of the family and of this pack. It was like he was an alpha, forcing Yuta-san down into submission.

The cinnamon and pine scent that Taeyong had gotten used to was masked over by something stronger. It was like sulfur with something woody and another spice underneath. Taeyong wasn’t sure how to describe it. He could taste it on his tongue, oddly enough. It was salty. It was like… the ocean.

It took over the dining room, overwhelmingly so. Taeyong held his breath, not wanting to take it in. Across the room, by the entrance to the kitchen, Yuta-san’s mother also seemed to step back. She looked dazed, her eyes glazed over and wide, frozen.

“Honey,” she finally said. She blinked a few times and then crossed the room to her husband. She placed her hands on his shoulders and he relaxed. “Honey, I’m fine.”

Nakamoto-san immediately relaxed. Taeyong exhaled. As he took a deep breath, he noticed that the ocean smell had receded to the background, Yuta-san’s scent drifting back to the forefront of it all.

“Dad,” Yuta-san said.

Before he could continue, his mother spoke. “Let’s go sit in the living room and talk, shall well?” she asked, a small smile on her face.

She seemed nervous. Taeyong wondered if there was a reason why.

He’d never lived with an alpha but it must’ve been difficult to be a father to someone that, in terms of secondary identification, was superior. It made Taeyong question how many times Yuta-san must’ve gone head-to-head with his father growing up, using his power to his advantage.

What had happened within these walls over the course of Yuta-san’s life that made his mother nervous like this? A disagreement that led to a serious altercation?

Taeyong was pulled away from his thoughts when Yuta-san grabbed his arm, helping him up. They moved into the living room, both of them sitting on the loveseat while Yuta-san’s parents sat on the larger couch, waiting.

“Mom, Dad,” Yuta-san started, “Taeyong and I have been…”

Yuta-san looked at Taeyong. He only blinked back at Yuta-san.

“We’ve been seeing each other since last September,” Yuta-san finished.

“And you didn’t tell us,” Yuta-san’s father said.

Taeyong could feel Nakamoto-san’s tension grow. That sulfuric scent was coming back. Taeyong shrunk into himself, almost letting out a cry.

He was not part of this family. He was not part of this pack. While Yuta-san’s family was used to this, Taeyong was not. It was overwhelming to have two people trying to assert themselves as dominant in front of him.

While not an alpha, Nakamoto-san definitely acted like one.

And Yuta-san did, too.

Beside Taeyong, Yuta-san tensed up. He sat up straighter. One of his hands made its way over to Taeyong, resting on his thigh. The cinnamon and pine were coming back, stronger than before. Yuta-san was trying to place himself on top.

Taeyong looked at him. Yuta-san’s eyes were locked with his father’s, a calm, collected expression on his face. But Taeyong felt the anger that radiated off his body.

_ Try me _, Yuta-san was saying.

Not being able to control himself, Taeyong gasped. It was far too much for him. He was beginning to suffocate.

Yuta-san broke eye contact with his father to look at Taeyong. His scent weakened like his expression. It was soft. Yuta-san raised his arm up to Taeyong’s face, placing his inner wrist at his temple.

Taeyong’s eyes closed and he relaxed, allowing himself to fall into Yuta’s gentle touch. Yuta-san kept his wrist there for a moment, letting Taeyong take him time to calm down.

From the other sofa, Yuta-san’s mother gasped quietly. Taeyong almost didn’t hear it.

The gesture was intimate. To show such a thing in front of anyone indicated the seriousness of the connection between the two individuals. Only kept between serious partners and family, Yuta-san doing this now demonstrated his dedication to Taeyong. It demonstrated him submitting himself to Taeyong.

In efforts to calm Taeyong, Yuta-san showed his parents that he saw Taeyong as someone special. It told Yuta-san’s parents that Taeyong was Yuta-san’s mate, at least potentially.

“Yuta!” his father exclaimed. “Pull back now.”

Yuta-san did pull away. He turned back to his father. “I respect you,” Yuta-san said, voice calm. “I ask that you extend the same courtesy to me and Taeyong-san.”

Nakamoto-san’s eyes narrowed. “Spit it out.”

“Yuta―”

Yuta-san cut his mother off. “Taeyong-san and I are expecting a child,” he said.

Taeyong took in their reactions. They didn’t look surprised. Instead, his mother seemed relieved, taking a deep breath. But his father didn’t look pleased.

“I’m sure that you’ve noticed,” Yuta-san continued. “He’s nineteen weeks along. Is that right, Taeyong-san?”

Yuta-san looked at him. Taeyong could only nod. This was enough for Yuta-san, who turned back to his parents. He was smiling but it seemed forced and insincere.

“The baby is healthy and Taeyong-san is healthy.” Yuta-san stood and motioned for Taeyong to follow. Yuta-san looked at both of his parents. “We just wanted to inform you now that he’s reached his second trimester.”

Before they could do anything more, Nakamoto-san got up and left. On the sofa, Yuta-san’s mother smiled and stood. She looked sad but the smile on her face remained.

She reached out and placed her hands on Yuta-san’s shoulders. “We have to talk,” she said quietly. And then she turned to Taeyong, pulling back from her son. She opened her arms and Taeyong hesitantly walked into her hug. 

She embraced him tightly.

“Congratulations,” she whispered in his ear.

“Thank you,” Taeyong replied, but it didn’t sound like him in his ears.

* * *

It was nearing midnight. 

Taeyong sat up in bed, looking to the futon on the floor. The duvet was messed up but there was no one there. He carefully got up and walked to the door. He pulled it open and stepped out into the hall.

He reached the top of the stairs. He waited for a moment. When he heard nothing, he began to go down. As he reached the bottom, he stopped.

There was someone there.

No. More than one person.

He crossed the foyer and peered into the kitchen. At the island counter, Yuta-san was sitting on a stool. On the other side of the counter was his mother.

Taeyong held his breath and stepped back. He thought that it would’ve only been Yuta-san down here, getting something to drink or something. But it was clear that he and his mother had been here a while. There were mugs in their hands and Yuta-san was eating something.

“Honey, I hope you know what you’re doing,” Nakamoto-san was saying. Her voice was gentle but she sounded worried. Taeyong looked back into the kitchen, seeing her reach across to place a gentle hand on Yuta-san’s. A slight frown on her lips made the wrinkles on her face more visible. “We only want the best for you.”

“He wanted to set me up with someone,” Yuta-san said, pulling back. He looked at his mother. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yuta…”

“Mom, please.” There was desperation in Yuta-san’s voice.

Taeyong had heard a lot about Yuta-san’s family. Yuta-san had offered the information freely. But of course, there were always things that one didn’t reveal until later. Taeyong had these things. He wondered what things Yuta-san was waiting to tell him.

Nakamoto-san sighed. “Your father thought that you would like him,” she finally said. “Mimura-kun.”

“Mimura-kun…”

There was a shift in tone. Taeyong couldn’t pinpoint it. Whoever Mimura-kun was, he had left an impression on Yuta-san. Yuta-san sounded… pained almost when he said the name. It passed after a moment.

“I’m happy where I am,” Yuta-san finished. The strain to his voice was gone.

“Are you?”

“Yes, Mom,” he said. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

“And you plan on marrying Taeyong-san?”

The question seemed to catch Yuta-san off guard. And it caught Taeyong off guard too. He tried to keep quiet. He stepped back, ready to run up the stairs and back into the room. But he waited.

Taeyong already knew the answer. Yuta-san had told him a couple of nights ago.

But would the answer be the same to his mother?

Yuta-san’s parents clearly had planned for Yuta-san’s future. Taeyong was sure that there were going to be disagreements in the future. It would take a while for Taeyong to be accepted as the person Yuta-san had chosen. 

So would Yuta-san stay true to the word he gave Taeyong or would he tell his mother what she wanted to hear?

The answer was yes. He stayed true to his word.

“Of course, Mom,” Yuta-san said. He laughed and Taeyong wished he could look back into the kitchen to see the sight. “It’s hard to explain but… I don’t think there’s anyone else but Taeyong-san for me.”

The words made Taeyong’s heart swell. His face grew warm and he felt shivers run all over his skin. He rushed upstairs, not wanting to intrude on any more of their conversation.

* * *

Marriage was a beautiful thing.

Taeyong had always known he wanted to marry. He wanted to find someone and start a family with them. He wanted to grow old with someone by his side. He wanted to love and he wanted to be loved.

And now that it was closer, he couldn’t help but wonder what it’d feel like to be married.

“Doyoung,” he called out.

Across from him, Doyoung looked up. “Yes?”

“How does it feel to be almost married?”

Doyoung looked at him with wide eyes. “What?” he asked. He sat up in the chair. “Are you getting _ married _?”

“No!” Taeyong exclaimed with a laugh. “Not at all. But I just want to know.”

Doyoung looked unconvinced but he settled back in the chair. He sighed. “Well, it’s different for everyone, isn’t it?” Taeyong didn’t answer and Doyoung continued. “For me, being with Mizuho is… well, it’s natural. I can’t imagine a day without her in my life. But I’ve been with her for so long, I’ve forgotten what it was like before.”

“I understand,” Taeyong murmured. He hummed. “I guess it’s supposed to feel natural.”

Ever since returning from Osaka, Taeyong and Yuta-san spoke to each other more regularly. Over the weekend, Yuta-san had come to stay with Taeyong, resuming his weekend stays in the tiny extra room Taeyong had. 

It was… natural.

It was like Yuta-san had never stopped coming to stay with him. Coming home on Friday nights and seeing Yuta-san already there seemed like something normal. Spending slow, lazy Saturday afternoons felt like something they had always done. And Taeyong wasn’t going to pretend that wishing Yuta-san a goodnight on Sunday and waking up on Monday to see him in the kitchen, drinking his coffee and preparing his bag to go to work, felt off. It didn’t feel off. It felt like it should.

Taeyong hadn’t approached Yuta-san in any way.

From the reading that he’d done and the doctor’s appointment he had the month before, Taeyong knew that he would begin to experience more symptoms of pregnancy. And he was beginning to see them manifest. He felt the changes happening to his body. 

He was beginning to see the stretch marks form along his waist. His stomach was getting rounder and larger. It made Taeyong feel a little uncomfortable but he also felt on top of the world. Since he was a man and a lean one at that, the bump wasn’t as large as he thought it would be but Ishigami-sensei assured him he looked perfect for being pregnant for the first time.

And Taeyong was feeling perfect. The heartburn and indigestion, among other things that were happening, weren’t great, but he still felt great. He felt… sexy.

Whether Yuta-san noticed or thought anything of the changes occurring, he said nothing. Taeyong didn’t want to make him say or do anything. He’d rather keep everything to himself.

And he did. To keep things with Yuta-san as they were, he kept everything to himself.

As natural as their routine was beginning to feel, Taeyong craved for more.

Something that all of his friend’s relationships had, that Taeyong and Yuta-san lacked, was touch.

When Mizu-chan came to drop off Doyoung’s lunch, she gently placed her hand on his bicep, keeping it there as they spoke. She stayed close and Doyoung stood taller, protecting her from peering eyes, one of his hands resting on her shoulder as they spoke.

Doyoung didn’t kiss her or hug her when it was time for her to go but he did run his inner wrist along her temple, something much more intimate than a kiss or a hug. Taeyong had looked away when he did so. It reminded him of when Yuta-san had done it.

How special such a gesture was for a couple.

“Say Doyoung…”

“Hm?”

Taeyong knew that it was a personal question but he was curious. Doyoung and Mizu-chan had been together for years yet they were only just getting married. But he wondered if… “Are you and Mizu-chan official, in the sense of…”

“Mates?” Doyoung finished.

Taeyong nodded. He thought that they were but people didn’t openly tell others if they were mated or not. It was a personal matter. And it was a bit difficult to tell when two individuals were, especially if they were of the same identification. And since Mizu-chan and Doyoung were, Taeyong never managed to find out.

“Of course,” Doyoung said. “We’ve been together for nine years, Taeyong. Did you think we wouldn’t be?”

Taeyong laughed. “Well, I was just wondering because I think I―”

He stopped himself. He… what?

Doyoung looked at him oddly but said nothing. “We’ve only been mated for a short while, perhaps less time than you think.”

Taeyong took the information in. Doyoung and Mizu-chan had been mates for less time than he thought. He wondered how long then.

Doyoung excused himself a few minutes later, leaving Taeyong alone.

He managed to focus on his work and finish up what was needed, taking the last few hours to hurry everything up and submit what he needed to send to his supervisors. He sent out an email to all the teams, wishing them a good weekend and thanking them for their hard work.

Everyone outside began to leave and soon Taeyong was packing up and getting ready to go.

It was Friday. The day before Valentine’s day. Everyone in Taeyong’s department seemed excited. Some of the men were sharing their plans for tomorrow. Fancy dinners and special gifts to give to their loved ones. The ladies laughed as they told each other what they thought their partners had planned.

And then there was Taeyong.

He said goodnight to those remaining as he made his way to the elevator. He shuffled inside, squeezing himself between other company employees. It took a moment for the elevator to reach the lobby but when it did, everyone stepped out and Taeyong took a deep breath.

Maybe Taeyong wouldn’t have something like Doyoung and Mizu-chan. They had been together for nine years, nearly ten, and they had the time to fall in love. Even Taeyong’s other friends had that time.

Johnny and Christie had time to explore their relationship before marrying and having the girls. And Jaehyun was taking it slow with Hori-san, both of them waiting to want more from each other.

Taeyong mixed up the steps. Their child was coming first and then… well, everything else.

As he stepped out of the elevator and looked up, he smiled.

He wouldn’t have the typical, natural progression. But this progression felt natural to him.

“Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san called out.

“Hey,” Taeyong called out.

Yuta-san smiled, offering his hand.

Taeyong took it.

* * *

Yuta-san seemed to be the romantic kind of individual but Taeyong didn’t expect to wake up to grand gestures and declarations of love. And he didn’t.

Taeyong woke up and shuffled out into the main room. Yuta-san was sitting at the table, eating breakfast. He looked up at Taeyong approached.

“Good morning, Taeyong-san,” he said. He motioned to the seat across him. “Sit. I’ll prepare breakfast for you.”

Unable to argue, Taeyong sat and waited. Yuta-san returned with some rice and grilled fish. In the center of the table was a small dish with vegetables and another with scrambled egg. Taeyong picked up his chopsticks, brought his hands together in thanks, and began to eat.

They remained silent as they ate. Yuta-san finished first, excusing himself and going to wash his dishes. He returned and sat down, pulling out his phone and playing around on it. Taeyong continued to eat, mindful of his chewing.

Natural, he thought. It felt natural.

“Yuta-san,” he said.

Yuta-san looked up. “Hm?”

“Would you like to go on a walk today? At the park?”

Yuta-san smiled and laughed. “Of course. We can go when you’re finished.”

It took a while for Taeyong to finish but when he did, Yuta-san cleared his dishes and told him to get ready. Taeyong went back to his room and into the bathroom. He washed up quickly and changed into something more suitable to go out.

When he went back into the living room, Yuta-san was looking through a stack of papers. He stopped and set them aside. “Oh,” he said. “You’re ready.”

“Let’s go,” Taeyong said. He approached Yuta-san and without a moment of hesitation, took his hand and pulled him along to the genkan.

He let go to allow them to pull on their shoes but as they left the apartment, his hand found Yuta-san’s again.

Yuta-san said nothing. Taeyong didn’t sense any tension coming from him so it was fine. This was fine.

It was natural.

The day was nice. There were a few people out. Some hurrying to work, others only returning home. Couples were holding hands, laughing and smiling.

Yuta-san didn’t let go of Taeyong’s hand as they began their walk to the park down the street. Taeyong allowed himself to imagine that they looked like one of those happy couples.

Was it wrong of him? He didn’t know.

But he did know that all the changes in his body were wanting more. They wanted more and more of Yuta-san. More than his touch, Taeyong craved Yuta-san’s attention and his… love?

Ishigami-sensei had said something similar during the last appointment, after the physical exam when Yuta-san was waiting outside.

“Your baby wants to know their father,” she told him. “And similarly, Nakamoto-san will begin to want to know your baby. It’s especially important for that connection to begin. The closer Nakamoto-san is, the happier and healthier you and baby will be.”

Was that what Taeyong wanted? Was it what the baby wanted? Maybe so.

Taeyong couldn’t deny that he wanted their relationship to be more than what it was now. Yuta-san wanted to _ marry _ him. Nothing pleased Taeyong’s omega side more than that. It yearned for Yuta-san, for this alpha to make his claim known to everyone else.

And though small, this was one way of showing the world that Taeyong and the child within him were a part of Yuta-san’s family.

Taeyong enjoyed the walk to the park and as they arrived, they found a bench to sit on. They were near the playground. They saw parents watching their children, playing with them and enjoying each other’s company.

“Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said.

“Hm?”

“Today is a special day, isn’t it? Valentine’s Day?”

“Yes,” Taeyong said. He felt a flutter in his chest when he saw Yuta-san reach for something in his pocket. “Yuta-san?”

Yuta-san took a deep breath and Taeyong held his. But then, a moment passed and Yuta-san pulled his hand back out, shaking his head slightly. Taeyong tried not to sound disappointed as he exhaled deeply.

“Taeyong-san, I’m sorry,” Yuta-san said. Taeyong met his eyes as he looked up, and he saw the hesitation in them. “I’m sorry if I got your hopes up.”

“It’s okay, Yuta-san,” Taeyong said. He smiled and reached out to touch Yuta-san’s hand. “We can go slow.”

“I do want to marry you,” Yuta-san said. He came closer, taking both of Taeyong’s hands in his now. “Before our baby or after, or whenever you want, but trust me when I say I want this. I want you.”

Taeyong laughed. “Thank you for confirming this once again.”

Yuta-san didn’t laugh and he didn’t smile. He looked serious. “I mean it. Taeyong-san, I―I want to give this to you but I think you deserve better. Today, thousands of couples are getting engaged or married, but I want you to have something more special.” Yuta-san squeezed his hands. “But the ring in my pocket is for you.”

It was too much. Taeyong didn’t want to feel as happy as he did but he felt over the moon. He smiled again.

“You say you want to marry me but have you thought if I want to marry you?”

Yuta-san blinked. “Do you?”

“Do you want my answer now?”

Taeyong was giddy. The closer that Yuta-san got, the happier he felt. Ishigami-sensei was right, of course. The more Yuta-san made Taeyong feel wanted, the stronger the feeling was. Whether it was Taeyong’s real feelings or his omega side clouding his judgment, all he knew was that he wanted Yuta-san.

“I’ll give you a hint now,” Taeyong whispered before closing the space between them.

* * *

Taeyong always heard that pregnant people had increased libidos. He wondered if it was true but now that he was pregnant, he knew that it was. He had started feeling it around the time they came back from Osaka. That had been weeks ago and Taeyong’s needs still had not been filled.

Since Yuta-san hadn’t been staying with him, Taeyong indulged himself. In the shower or in bed, he’d get himself off, going until he came hard in his hand. It was never enough to fully satisfy him but it took the edge off for the most part. 

Yuta-san had stayed the weekend before and Taeyong had held back, not wanting Yuta-san to hear him from across the hall. And Taeyong had decided that this weekend would be the same, even though he felt like he was being pulled towards Yuta-san, his body wanting to be touched by Yuta-san’s hands and lips, feeling everything at once. It was not right to think that way.

Taeyong had been prepared to go that way until his increased sex drive went away. But it seemed that wouldn’t be the case.

As Yuta-san pushed Taeyong down onto his bed, Taeyong felt the shivers go down his spine. Yuta-san was quick to climb onto the bed and straddle Taeyong’s thighs, staying there. He was breathing hard and so was Taeyong.

Yuta-san leaned down, his lips meeting Taeyong’s neck. Taeyong gasped as Yuta-san began to mouth along his collarbone. He wrapped his arms around Yuta-san, wanting him closer.

“Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said, pulling back, “The baby.”

“The baby won’t be hurt. It won’t feel anything,” Taeyong assured. He pulled Yuta-san back down, kissing him again.

The spike in pheromones that Yuta-san released was overwhelming. The cinnamon burned Taeyong’s nose and he could almost taste it on Yuta-san’s lips. It masked everything else and Taeyong knew that Yuta-san maybe didn’t mean to do it, but Taeyong was now helpless underneath him.

They broke apart, a string of saliva between their lips. Taeyong felt hazy. Yuta-san looked a bit blurry in front of him.

“Taeyong-san,” he was saying. “Are you okay?”

“Keep… keep going.”

Yuta-san listened. He slowly pushed Taeyong’s shirt up, revealing his round stomach. Yuta-san’s warm hands ran over it and Taeyong heard the praises that Yuta-san whispered to him.

“So pretty with my baby in you,” Yuta-san murmured. “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Taeyong whined and whimpered as Yuta-san continued to praise him. Yuta-san undressed him slowly, complimenting him as he went. It made Taeyong’s heart thump hard in his chest and his entire body shake and shiver with happiness.

“I just want to make you mine,” Yuta-san said, coming down to kiss along Taeyong’s jaw.

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong gasped, his hands clawing at Yuta-san’s back. He dug his fingernails into Yuta-san’s, hearing Yuta-san hiss by his ear. He was still wearing his sweater but it was thin enough that Taeyong managed to sink his fingernails well enough to leave a mark.

“Would you like me to do that?” Yuta-san asked as he pulled Taeyong’s earlobe between his teeth. He let go and then kissed the spot right under Taeyong’s ear. “You’d like that, right? Have me belong to only you?”

Taeyong whined underneath him. Yuta-san had not removed his jeans and it was beginning to ache. Taeyong tried to push his hips up, hoping to find some satisfaction in rubbing himself against Yuta-san but then Yuta-san clicked his tongue.

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong repeated, breathless.

“I want to belong to only you,” Yuta-san said.

And then Taeyong felt Yuta-san move down and bite at the spot on his shoulder.

Taeyong moaned, a mixture of pleasure and pain. His hands grew weak as he fisted them up, grabbing the fabric of Yuta-san’s sweater. His entire mind was filled with thoughts of Yuta-san, clearly weakened by Yuta-san’s arousal.

He came. It was a bit embarrassing. Yuta-san hadn’t even touched him properly and he still had come hard enough to feel dizzy. Taeyong felt the warmth in his pants and the ache of his erection began to fade away.

Yuta-san was no longer biting him. Taeyong felt Yuta-san’s warm tongue licking at the spot, easing the pain there. Taeyong allowed him to.

He took deep breaths, trying to collect himself. Yuta-san hadn’t bitten him in the right spot. They both knew that. But it had been enough for this time, just to get Taeyong off.

Yuta-san pushed himself off Taeyong and laid beside him.

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong said, pushing himself up. He looked at Yuta-san's face and then traveled down. “Let me help you.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, Taeyong-san.”

Taeyong’s face grew warm. He shook his head. “No, come on. I need to wash up. I’ll… in the shower.”

“Taeyong-san…”

It took a few more moments of convincing but soon enough, Taeyong was leading Yuta-san into the bathroom. Yuta-san turned the shower on, adjusting the temperature as Taeyong pulled his soiled pants off. He tossed them aside and then turned to Yuta-san.

“I’ll get in first,” Taeyong said.

Yuta-san moved aside to let him enter the shower. Taeyong pulled the door closed. It was a clear door but the warmer water began to fog it up and soon, Taeyong could only make out Yuta-san’s outline, watching as he undressed.

“I’m coming in,” Yuta-san said.

The door opened up and Yuta-san stepped in. Taeyong took a step back and gave him a moment to adjust himself. And when Yuta-san looked up at him, Taeyong closed the space between them, taking Yuta-san’s face in his hands and kissing him.

Yuta-san’s hands fell onto his waist, holding him in place. It was the most natural thing in Taeyong’s mind.

After a moment, Taeyong pulled back. He ran his hands down Yuta-san’s body, feeling how Yuta-san shivered underneath his touch. The water that sprayed from behind Yuta-san came falling over his shoulders in fat droplets, running down his torso.

Slowly, Taeyong began to lower himself. As his hands reached Yuta-san’s navel, Yuta-san jumped, his hands reaching out to grab onto the bars built into the shower.

Taeyong got onto his knees. The tiles underneath hurt but he pushed it aside, focusing on Yuta-san. Taeyong grabbed his cock, squeezing lightly. Above, Yuta-san moaned, his head hanging down. Taeyong admired Yuta-san’s face. His mouth opened and his eyes screwed shut.

Taeyong looked at Yuta-san’s cock. It was heavy in his hand. At the tip, the pre-come was mixing with the water, dripping down onto the tile below.

He ran his thumb over the head, eliciting another moan from Yuta-san. Taeyong felt pleased, his entire body shaking with delight at the sound. He wanted nothing more than to please Yuta-san, his alpha.

The words repeated in his head as he began to stroke Yuta-san, beginning slowly and building up to a quicker rhythm. When he felt he had it down, Taeyong came closer, running his tongue around the head.

Yuta-san’s cock twitched in his hand. Taeyong squeezed again, wanting to hear Yuta-san. It built his confidence up and let Taeyong know he was doing well.

Yuta-san did not disappoint. He let out another breathy groan, one of his hands letting go of the bar and coming to Taeyong’s hair. He grabbed a fistful of Taeyong’s wet hair and tugged.

Taeyong brought his lips around the head, continuing to circle his tongue around it. When Yuta-san tugged at his hair again, he stopped his strokes, kept his hand at the base of Yuta-san’s dick and took more of it into his mouth. 

“Oh, Taeyong-san…”

The moans continued, almost blocked out from the water that rained onto Yuta-san’s back, but Taeyong strained his ears to hear them. He was encouraged by each one, doing more and more.

Taeyong pulled away, taking a few deep breaths. He resumed using his hands as he collected himself. He looked up at Yuta-san, whose eyes were open. As they made eye contact, Yuta-san groaned and closed his eyes again.

Yuta-san’s hips bucked forward, surprising Taeyong. Yuta-san tugged his hair and Taeyong quickly took his cock into his mouth again. He relaxed his jaw, feeling the head hit the back of his throat. Taeyong tried not to react but he let out a strangled sound of surprise. His eyes closed as he felt the tears begin to form.

“Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san moaned.

It took a moment but then Taeyong had gotten comfortable again and began to bob his head, taking in the sounds that Yuta-san made in response.

Taeyong kept his eyes closed, feeling the strain begin to burn. He felt the water coming from the showerhead coming over Yuta-san’s shoulder hit his face. Yuta-san tugged harder on his hair and then began bucking his hips, throwing Taeyong off the rhythm he’d built up.

Soon, Taeyong was no longer in control and all he did was wait, allowing Yuta-san to fuck his mouth. He let out a few strangled moans, his hands trying to grip at the shower walls and shower door. He found stability by holding onto Yuta-san’s thighs. 

He dug his nails into the skin there, seeing how red the skin around the indents of his fingernails became. He closed his eyes again when he felt Yuta-san’s cock hit the back of his throat harder, almost making him choke. A gargled sound escaped him. He felt the drool forming and spilling over his bottom lip, running down his chin with the water on his face.

“Oh, fuck,” Yuta-san moaned.

Taeyong tightened his hold on Yuta-san’s thighs as he prepared himself. He felt the warmth flood his mouth as then Yuta-san was pulling away.

His come came out in spurts, hitting Taeyong’s face. Taeyong felt most of it wash away with the water that continued to come down on them. He blindly reached for Yuta-san’s cock, stroking him the rest of the way until nothing else came out.

He swallowed what was in his mouth before taking his hands off Yuta-san and wiping his face with the back of them. Slowly, he stood up, feeling his knees shake. Yuta-san seemed dazed but when his eyes met Taeyong’s, he reached out and helped him stand.

Yuta-san stood close. He dropped his head onto Taeyong’s shoulder, resting his chin against his skin. The water was getting colder by the second and Taeyong, as well as Yuta-san, needed to wash up.

“Come,” Taeyong murmured. “Let’s clean ourselves up.”

It took a while. Yuta-san still seemed to be trying to collect himself and Taeyong’s legs had begun to ache terribly. The water turned cold and Taeyong shivered underneath, trying to wash thoroughly. When he finished, he stepped out and allowed Yuta-san to shower.

Taeyong took a towel and dried himself, shaking from the cold. He dressed in the clothes he’d brought and then ran a towel through his hair. As he finished, Yuta-san stepped out, seeming more awake yet tired at the same time.

“I’m going to get some water,” Taeyong said. “You can get dressed.”

Yuta-san gave him a silent nod.

Taeyong stepped out and tiptoed into the hall. He made his way down the dark hallway. He turned on the light to the main room and wandered to the kitchen, flipping the switch as he entered.

He got his water and leaned back against the kitchen counter, taking a few sips. He looked around. It was clean as always. He set aside his glass, feeling refreshed and ready for bed.

As he left the kitchen and turned the light off, he noticed the mess on the dining table.

He clicked his tongue as he noticed it was all of Yuta-san’s things for work. Assignments from his students and a test that they were going to have. Taeyong took a minute to collect it and put it aside. As he did so, he noticed that one of the papers was different.

The words printed in one of the corners caught his eye.

_ Marriage Registration. _

Taeyong had seen marriage registration forms before. One of his co-workers had asked him to be the witness and Taeyong had happily agreed to provide his signature. Johnny and Christie had also used him as a witness for their registration.

It was partially filled out. The section for one of the partners was completed. It was filled with Yuta-san’s information. The rest of it remained blank.

Taeyong wondered how long Yuta-san had this. Had he just gotten it and filled it out? When was he planning on presenting it to Taeyong?

It was amusing somehow.

Yuta-san had everything prepared for when it was time, whether it was days from now or years. It made Taeyong’s heart beat hard and loud in his chest.

He set the form over Yuta-san’s other things. Maybe Yuta-san would realize that Taeyong had seen it.

Now, more than every, Taeyong found that he didn’t mind. Yuta-san was coming closer and Taeyong hoped that their relationship would change into something more stable and permanent. Maybe not marriage quite yet but something else that bonded them as a pair.

Taeyong went back to the room. Yuta-san was collecting Taeyong’s discarded shirt from earlier, tossing it into the hamper. He stopped when he saw Taeyong.

“I’ll go to bed now,” he said. He came closer but seemed to hesitate. “You must be tired.”

Before he could go, Taeyong grabbed him by the wrist. “Stay here,” he said.

Yuta-san looked surprised but Taeyong maintained his cool and collected demeanor. “Stay with me,” he said. “I want you to.”

“Okay,” Yuta-san finally said.

Taeyong tugged at his wrist, pulling him to the bed. He let go of Yuta-san to climb on the bed, crawling across to the other side where he usually slept. He tossed the extra pillows to the side and pulled at the covers before crawling underneath them.

On the other side, Yuta-san slowly pulled back the covers and got in. He kept the space between them.

Taeyong turned on his side, looking at Yuta-san. “Good night,” he said.

“Good night,” Yuta-san repeated.

If they were like any other couple, here was where they would exchange ‘I love you’s but they remained silent. The unsaid words seemed to hang in the air though.

Taeyong got comfortable and closed his eyes, hoping that the exhaustion would take over. As he began to doze off, he felt Yuta-san get closer. The bed dipped and he felt the warmth that radiated from Yuta-san’s body.

“Good night,” Yuta-san said again.

Taeyong didn’t answer but he let his arms fall around Yuta-san’s waist, hoping that it was enough to let him know that he had heard.

* * *

Monday morning came and Taeyong woke up late.

Taeyong rushed to pack his bag and eat from the bowl on the dining table. He was going to be late. He quickly double-checked his bag. He reached for his phone and his keys. 

Yuta-san was also preparing to go to work. He pulled his bag up and slung it over his shoulder. He took one last sip from his coffee and then walked around the dining table towards the genkan.

As he passed by, he took Taeyong by the shoulder, pulling him away from what he was doing. Yuta-san kissed him and then patted his cheek.

“I’ll see you later,” he said. He let go and continued on.

Taeyong hummed. “Alright,” he said, turning his attention back to his back. “I’ll see you. Have a good day. Goodbye.”

“You, too!” Yuta-san called back, already in the genkan. “Bye!”

A moment later, Taeyong heard the click of the apartment door. Taeyong glanced at the clock and saw that he had a minute to leave if he wanted to be on time and catch the train to work.

He zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He had to hurry so he could come home and prepare dinner for them. Yuta-san had mentioned soccer practice but it could be canceled again depending on the weather. He didn’t want Yuta-san to come home and…

Then it clicked in his mind.

Taeyong turned around, staring into the genkan. “What?” he asked aloud.

How odd that… neither of them had noticed that… It had been so natural.

Taeyong blinked, turning in a circle. 

He felt out of place suddenly. A moment before, everything felt like it should have been but now, it was like he was in another person’s home, thinking of another person’s schedule.

What happened just then?

It was bizarre just how quickly it had happened and how he had accepted it without a second thought. He had accepted Yuta-san’s kiss and his goodbye, even telling him they’d see each other later. They wouldn’t. Yuta-san didn’t stay throughout the week. Yuta-san needed to go to his apartment. He would not come back here.

Fuck, Taeyong thought. He pushed aside the thoughts and hurried, realizing that he was going to be late to work now. With shaking hands, he pulled on his shoes and left his apartment, pulling shut the door and hearing the automatic lock click into place.

He rushed to the station, managing to hop on before the next train departed. It wasn’t as crowded as the one Taeyong took regularly. He managed to find a seat on the end of the row, squeezing himself there as more people continue to board.

He sent Yuta-san an apologetic text about this morning as the train departed the station. They wouldn’t see each other later, right?

Taeyong didn’t check to see if Yuta-san had answered.

When he reached the office building and made it up to his department’s floor, he quickly rounded everyone up for their morning meeting. He made it a few minutes late, right before the time they had the morning meetings. He was frazzled throughout it, barely able to focus on the speaker for today.

It was Iida-san today. She had gotten engaged over the weekend, on Valentine’s Day. Everyone congratulated her. Taeyong offered his congratulations, grateful that Yuta-san hadn’t asked him like he might’ve planned to. She showed her ring off to the few around her, basking in the compliments.

And then, Taeyong got everyone’s attention, wanting to get the day started.

“Continue working on your projects. The end of the first quarter is coming soon and we’ll be preparing to submit everything soon,” Taeyong told everyone. “Thank you for your time and hard work. Let’s have a good day today.”

Everyone went back to their desks and Taeyong stepped into his office. He pulled his water bottle from his bag and took a few large swigs, hoping that it would be enough to calm him down.

He took a few deep breaths. 

He couldn’t be like this today. He had to work.

Taeyong wanted to check his phone but he knew that he couldn’t. As much as he wanted to know if Yuta-san had seen his message, he couldn’t bring himself to check, which left him anxious.

So Taeyong went to his desk and got everything ready, getting out what he needed and placing his phone where he wouldn’t touch it. He put aside his thoughts and dove into his work. He had calls to make and reports to check before sending them out to the appropriate people. It took up all of his attention and he was distracted by it all until lunchtime when Jaehyun and Doyoung came to his office.

Doyoung had the bento box he always carried, where Mizu-chan packed his lunch. Beside him, Jaehyun held one that looked like it was purchased from the store in the lobby. 

“We’ll eat in lunch here,” Doyoung said. “Jaehyun here wants to avoid Hori-san today.”

“Okay,” Taeyong said. He set aside what he was working on and got up, going to where he placed his bag.

He took his bento out. It was the same one as always. He took a seat in a chair set in front of his desk, Doyoung and Jaehyun sitting down in the others. 

Taeyong opened his bento box with a heavy sigh. It was leftovers from the night before. He didn’t mind it. He ate slowly, listening to Jaehyun and Doyoung talk. 

Apparently, Jaehyun hadn’t done the best of jobs on Valentine’s Day and Hori-san wasn’t all that happy with him. She had not even wished him a happy birthday in all her rage. Jaehyun was embarrassed to face her after a failed date, to which Doyoung insisted it happened to everyone. If Hori-san liked him, she would understand.

Taeyong didn’t speak much but he did agree with Doyoung. If they noticed he was off, they said nothing. Taeyong offered a spare comment here and there as they ate. Jaehyun seemed to take their word for it, telling them he’d try to speak with Hori-san at the end of the day.

“What did you do for Mizu-chan, Doyoung?” Jaehyun asked.

Doyoung hummed. “I made her chocolates and I took her on a date like always,” he said. He waved his hands in front of him. “She doesn’t need me to give her flowers; she hates gifts like that from me. Those days are special but after spending the last ten together, being with each other is enough to make her happy.”

Jaehyun sighed. “I wish I had what you have,” he said.

Taeyong laughed at him, catching the attention of both of them. He shook his head. “You won’t know until you ask Hori-san, Jaehyun,” he said.

“So what did _ you _ do on Saturday?”

“What?” Taeyong asked. He blinked a few times. “Well… I was with Yuta-san.”

“He asked you on a date?”

“No,” Taeyong said. He hummed. “Well, you know he stays on the weekends.”

“So you didn’t do anything?”

“Doyoung-hyung, leave it be…”

Taeyong smiled. “We went for a walk after breakfast and then ate lunch at a small restaurant by my apartment,” he said. They looked like they were waiting for me. Taeyong shrugged. “Then we went back and slept.”

Taeyong did not include more intimate details. His friends didn’t need to know that. They left it at that, telling Taeyong that Yuta-san didn’t do anything special, but Taeyong assured them he had enjoyed the holiday without anything too grand.

He had enjoyed Valentine’s Day. They had fallen asleep rather early after their shower and when Taeyong woke up, it was to Yuta-san holding him as the early sunlight began to filter through the sheer curtains over his windows. Yuta-san, still half-asleep, had kissed him and they had enjoyed something quick before Taeyong insisted they had to get up.

But his friends didn’t need to know that.

The hour went by quickly, their conversation jumping around to different things, and then Taeyong was kicking his friends out of his office, telling them to go back to work. They left without much complaint. Jaehyun went back to his desk and when Doyoung stayed back, Taeyong looked at him and shook his head. He left without another word.

Taeyong packed away his bento and went back to his desk. He felt more relaxed now. He was still trying to collecting his feelings from earlier. He wondered if Yuta-san saw his message and if he answered. He’d try to put it aside while he worked, even putting his phone in the drawer of his desk, but now that he wasn’t doing anything, his hands itched to check.

So before he started working again, he pulled his phone out, checking for messages. He had one from Johnny but the one from Yuta-san caught his attention first. It was sent a few minutes after Taeyong had sent him the initial message.

The message Taeyong had sent read: _ I’m sorry. You’re not coming here later, are you? Must’ve not been paying attention. I’ll see you this Friday instead. Have a good day. _

And then there was Yuta-san’s response. _ Can I come back anyway? _

Taeyong typed back a ‘yes’ and placed his phone into the drawer, closing it shut. 

He ignored the way that his heart pounded and how his face was warmer as he woke his computer up with a shake of the mouse.

* * *

Coming home and having someone there was new.

“You’re back,” Yuta-san said, standing at the other end of the genkan.

“I’m sorry. I know I said I’d come back earlier but someone asked me about someth―”

Yuta-san crossed the small space and cut Taeyong off with a kiss. His hands came up and held Taeyong’s face, soft and gentle. Taeyong was surprised but it only took a moment before he let go of his bag and brought his hand up to rest on Yuta-san’s waist.

Taeyong pulled back first, remembering that they were still in the genkan and the apartment door was still opened. He closed the door and then looked at Yuta-san.

“I’m back,” he said.

Yuta-san smiled. “Welcome home,” he said.

Yuta-san’s words sent something through Taeyong’s body. It was electrifying almost.

He’d never had someone to say those words to him. Not in years.

“I’m home,” Taeyong said. 

And Yuta-san kissed him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a while, right? I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Sorry if my writing isn’t up to par. I’ve been struggling to write these days… I also didn't check this thoroughly (as per usual) so I apologize for any mistakes!
> 
> Anyway… what a change has occurred in Taeyong. Has he just magically come to his sense or is there something else? Hm… I’ll let you all decide for yourselves!
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos! I always appreciate them and they make my day :D


	8. Wish I Could Get to Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Been going through it these days, like most everyone else! Please enjoy!
> 
> ALSO, I made a mistake in the previous chapter that has since been corrected! Yuta tells his parents that Taeyong is 17 weeks but I did the math wrong so it's actually 19 weeks along in the last chapter during the Nakamoto family scene! In this one, Taeyong is around 25 weeks! We're progressing quickly, aren't we?
> 
> Chapter title from “Sunflower Vol. 6” by Harry Styles.

Taeyong was well aware that he had failed to inform his family of everything happening in his life. In any other case, it would have been fine. Since he moved, he called home infrequently. His schedule was busy and his parents understood that. They also continued to work, though their retirement was near. And his sister had a hectic life, managing the kids’ schedules and her job alongside her husband. So Taeyong not calling them after so long was no problem.

But the further along he got, the more he knew that he made a mistake by not telling them sooner. The surprise that his family would experience would be immense and they wouldn’t even be able to congratulate him properly. He didn’t know when he would see his family next but after telling them, he hoped he could get them to come during the summer to meet the baby.

“Are you nervous?”

Taeyong looked away from his laptop and towards Yuta-san. He was sitting in the armchair, where he usually sat, legs tucked underneath him, and a book across his knees. A common sight these days but still something that caught Taeyong off guard.

“Uh, yeah,” Taeyong said, turning back to his laptop. He closed down some of the apps and waited, eyes moving to the small clock in the corner of the screen. “Why… why wouldn’t I be?”

“Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said. Taeyong looked at him again. Yuta-san smiled. “Calm down.”

Taeyong took a deep breath. A moment later, he received a video call. He moved the cursor over the green accept button and the app opened up. His sister appeared on the screen and Taeyong enlarged it, checking the corner where he could see himself.

He made himself look presentable today. His stomach was rounder but still small despite being nearly six months pregnant and he was able to hide it with a large sweater. By sitting on the ground and having the laptop on the coffee table, he could hide by sitting down until it was time to show his parents. His face looked a bit rounder but from what he saw, it wasn’t too noticeable and they couldn’t say anything, at least he hoped so.

“Taeyong!” his sister said.

“Hey,” Taeyong said, smiling.

The camera moved around and then his sister was out of view. There was a moment of the camera moving around, showing the wall and then the ceiling of the room, and then Taeyong saw both his parents appear. His mother leaned into the screen.

“Taeyong!” she exclaimed.

“Hi, Mom.” He smiled again. “Hi, Dad.”

“It’s been a while,” his mom said, smiling as she sat back into her chair.

She looked the same for the most part. The gray was beginning to peek out at the roots but she looked just as he remembered when he saw her the year before on his birthday. Knowing her, she would get it fixed soon and look like she was five years younger than she was. Beside her, his father looked almost the same. It had been years since the gray had taken over his hair but it was the only evidence of his age, the rest of him rather fit and intact. Despite the familiarity of their appearances, they did seem different.

Taeyong felt something tug at his heart. “It has been,” he said. He leaned a bit closer. “I have some news I wanted to tell you.”

His dad came closer to the screen, taking up most of the camera. “What is it?”

“Dad…” Taeyong laughed. “You don’t have to come that close. I can see you just fine.”

His dad backed away and then Taeyong could see both of his parents again. They waited patiently, allowing Taeyong to take his time. He pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his hands and wrung them together, feeling the nerves begin to settle across his body once again.

He was a grown man. His parents no longer dictated what he did. Taeyong made his own decisions. He’d been making them for the last twelve years of his life. Yet somehow, he felt like he was seventeen again and trying to tell his parents he had gotten in trouble at school. His parents weren’t strict. When he used to do things he shouldn’t have, he got a stern lecture and a fair punishment, but more often than not, it was the disappointment on his parents’ faces that hurt most. He could’ve been lectured for hours and been made to come directly home for an entire school year and it wouldn’t compare to the way the guilt crawled and seeped into his bones at seeing his parents look let down by his actions.

“Mom, Dad… I’m not sure how to say this,” Taeyong said. He chanced a look at Yuta-san, who only nodded, silently urging him to continue. Taeyong sighed and looked at his parents. They stared back at him, shifting in their seats. “I wish I could’ve told you in person.”

“What is it, Taeyong?” his mom asked.

He knew that his words were cause for worry.

“Well, there… have been some developments in my life.” He cleared his throat. “I talked to noona about it but told her not to tell you…”

In the background, Taeyong heard his sister’s voice, and then she appeared behind their parents, crouching down in between their seats to see him as well. She looked like she wanted to say something but she stayed quiet, appearing a bit confused.

“I want to introduce you to someone special,” Taeyong said. He looked at Yuta-san and waved him over. Yuta-san shook his head, eyes widening. “Come on.”

Yuta-san got up from the armchair and carefully made his way over, sitting beside Taeyong on the floor and leaning back against the couch. Taeyong watched as Yuta-san smiled at his family members. It was small and perhaps a bit timid, nothing like the bright smile he showed off regularly. He heard his mom gasp and he turned back to look at them.

Yuta-san took Taeyong’s hand underneath the table, stretching his legs out like Taeyong had and knocking the sides of their knees together.

“This is… Nakamoto Yuta. I met him last year. We’ve been…”

“Together?” Yuta-san offered.

“Yes, together. We’ve been together since September,” Taeyong translated. He looked at Yuta-san again, trying to find the answers on his face. He licked his lips and asked Yuta-san, in Japanese: “Do I tell them now then?”

Taeyong knew it wasn’t fair to take advantage of the fact that his family didn’t know Japanese but he was getting more nervous. He knew his mother was beginning to form all sorts of assumptions and Taeyong wasn’t sure how to tell her that yes, the largest, scariest assumption she could make about them was true.

“I suppose,” Yuta-san said, voice low and gentle, “I’ll follow your lead. It’s whenever you want, Taeyong-san. Though I must admit, my Korean isn’t too sharp anymore.”

He turned back to the screen, more determined than he’d been a moment ago. “Yuta and I are―we are very serious about each other and knowing this, we unexpectedly got pregnant!” Taeyong cleared his throat and laughed awkwardly as he watched his family take in the information on the other side of the screen. “I’m around… twenty-five weeks along now and realized that you… I hadn’t told you, Mom… Dad…”

Taeyong’s parents grew closer as they pulled the device closer to them. “Taeyong, what?” his mom asked, bringing her ear to the camera. The screen was obscured as her hair fell over but she pulled back a moment later to look at them. “Did we hear you correctly?”

“He’s having a baby?” he heard his father ask.

“Taeyong, answer me,” his mom said as she put the device back. The camera was a bit skewed now.

“Yes, Mom!” Taeyong said. He took a deep breath and Yuta-san squeezed his hand. “We are having a baby. Yuta here can speak to you if you like. I… I don’t know if you’d like to but he’s been very excited to meet you…”

“Hello,” Yuta-san said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

His Korean did sound a bit off but the sound of surprise that escaped Taeyong’s mother was one indicating she was pleased. Taeyong could tell. She quickly fixed the camera and then Taeyong’s sister disappeared. The camera continued to move, being adjusted to show both of Taeyong’s parents. His sister appeared again after a moment.

“You speak Korean?”

“I do,” Yuta-san said. “I took Korean while in university but I haven’t practiced in a while. I apologize.”

“It’s fine.” She raised an eyebrow. “So… since September but you’re twenty-five weeks?”

“Mom…”

“Yes, ma’am,” Yuta-san said. He smiled, the real and sweet smile he gave away freely, and Taeyong watched as his mom was caught off guard. Anyone would be if they were on the receiving end of Yuta-san’s smile. “It’s a bit rushed but our emotions got the best of us at the moment.”

“Is that so?”

Taeyong moved his gaze to his dad. He’d been quiet so far. “Dad?”

He seemed to straighten up. “Yes, Taeyong, yes,” he said. “Uh… Congratulations. Yuta, congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Yuta-san said.

“Mom?” Taeyong asked.

“I suppose congratulations are in order,” she said. She came closer again but didn’t reach for the camera. “Let me see you.”

“Oh…”

Taeyong let go of Yuta-san’s hand and sat up, pulling his legs underneath him. He pulled the sweater up slowly. Yuta-san helped him and held down the t-shirt he had underneath. It was tight enough to show the swell of Taeyong’s stomach. Taeyong made sure it was visible in the camera. He ran his hand over his stomach once and then Yuta-san took his hand.

“You’re shaking,” he said quietly in Japanese. 

“I’m fine,” Taeyong answered. He let go of the sweater and then sat back down. “Could you see it?”

“You’re so small, Taeyong,” his mom said. It wasn’t meant to be rude or degrading. There was something sweet in her voice. And then, she looked surprised. She placed her hands on her cheeks, eyes widening. “Oh my, you’re having a baby!”

Taeyong wasn’t sure how to answer. “I… am,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. With work and the doctor’s appointments, I didn’t even think to call you and that’s… that’s my fault.”

“You’re still working?”

“Mom…”

* * *

Taeyong was glad that his parents reacted well to the news. They talked for a few hours and then they retired to bed, leaving him with his sister. They talked too. She tried to converse with Yuta-san in Japanese but they gave up after a while. Taeyong saw both his niece and nephew, watching as his sister told them the news. They were also excited, congratulating him and sending him their kisses through the screen.

“I’m very happy that your family seems pleased with the announcement,” Yuta-san said as they cleaned up after their dinner. He seemed more at ease after it all.

“My mom is disappointed I didn’t tell her earlier but she is happy,” Taeyong said. He sighed. “It could have gone worse.”

“Are you trying to refer to something, Taeyong-san?”

“Of course not!” Taeyong defended. He huffed. “Your mother has apologized since then, you know.”

“She calls me every other day asking how you’re doing,” Yuta-san confessed.

“Really?”

“Really,” Yuta-san said. He smiled. “She’s happy about it. A grandchild is a grandchild.”

Was it? Taeyong wasn’t sure. The Nakamotos’ reaction definitely could’ve been better. Even if Yuta-san’s mother had reached out and apologized, Taeyong still felt unsavory about it. Of course, he wouldn’t take it out on their baby or Yuta-san’s parents but it will be a while before Taeyong felt truly accepted by Yuta-san’s parents.

His parents seemed to like Yuta-san. It was the first person that Taeyong introduced them to. He had never been serious enough to introduce anyone to his parents and he was sure the significance of this was not lost on them. He was _serious_ about Yuta-san. The message translated well.

His dad had asked about them getting married and Taeyong had almost avoided the topic but Yuta-san had to speak on it.

“Of course we’re getting married,” he’d said. “We’re both serious about each other.”

It pleased both of his parents and they had left it at that.

Taeyong was serious but somehow, that future still seemed far away. They never said when they’d get married. It could be years from now when their child was entering kindergarten or it could be tomorrow after work. The more Taeyong thought about it, the more the uncertainty in the bottom of his stomach began to grow.

He retired to bed after a bath without speaking to Yuta-san much more. Despite being closer these days, Yuta-san insisted on continuing to sleep in Taeyong’s small guest room. There was little reason to but Yuta-san wasn’t going to be moved.

“I’ll be honest, Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said the day Taeyong asked him why, “If I sleep in the same bed as you, I’m not sure I would be able to control myself.”

It sent chills down Taeyong’s spine. Even now, the words took him by surprise. There were so many implications to it. Did Yuta-san only mean sex? Or did he mean the urge to claim Taeyong as his? They were both very different things and Taeyong was sure he could only provide one right now for certain.

He laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Across the hall, Yuta-san was sleeping or awake, catching up on work. He wondered if Yuta-san knew that Taeyong wanted him to be close. Their baby wanted him to be close. They both needed to have Yuta-san near to feel comfortable.

Taeyong placed a hand on his stomach, feeling the movement there. It wasn’t strong enough for anyone else to see or feel yet but Taeyong felt it inside him. They were like slight jabs in different parts of his abdomen. It was amazing that he could feel it. The first time he’d felt the movement, he’d been surprised but now, all he felt was awe.

He shifted in bed, keeping his hand on his stomach. “I know,” he said quietly. “I know.”

Taeyong resisted the urge to go out and find Yuta-san even though every part of his body told him to. He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes, focusing on inhaling, exhaling. He was fine. He was tired. He would sleep.

It seemed like he’d gotten only a moment’s sleep before waking up with a groan. The baby wouldn’t stop moving. Taeyong had read that the baby’s activity in the womb would be reflected when they were born and the thought of having an active infant in the middle of the night was horrible.

“Would you… stop?” Taeyong asked, pushing himself up and leaning on his elbows. He huffed when he felt more movement. “You want me to find your dad? Fine.”

Taeyong got out of his bed and tiptoed to the door, opening it and stepping into the hall. He moved to the other door, knocking quietly.

“Yes?” he heard.

“Can I come in?”

There was silence. Then he heard movement and the door opened. Yuta-san looked tired, hands rubbing his eyes, stifling back a yawn.

“Did I wake you?” Taeyong asked.

“I was working on grading some assignments,” Yuta-san said. His eyes moved from Taeyong’s face to his stomach. “Something wrong?”

“He won’t stop moving. Can I come in?”

“He?” Yuta-san asked. He opened the door wider, allowing Taeyong in. “I thought you said you wouldn’t ask for the gender. Did you change your mind?”

“It’s just a feeling,” Taeyong said as he entered the room.

The lights were off. Yuta-san only had one of the nightstand lamps turned on.

Yuta-san hadn’t done much to the room. It was too small to bring more furniture inside and Yuta-san didn’t seem interested in decorating it much if he only stayed a few days. Taeyong knew that the dresser held some of Yuta-san’s clothes but that was all that Yuta-san had inside the room that belonged to him. There was more of him in the rest of the apartment than there was in the room. Taeyong moved to the bed, taking the side that was still made.

“Sorry if I’m bothering,” Taeyong said as he fixed the bed and got in. He yawned, laying down and bringing the covers up to his chin. “Ishigami-sensei told me that…”

Taeyong felt the bed dip and then Yuta-san’s warmth. His scent also grew stronger, though the sheets on the bed smelled plenty like him. It calmed Taeyong down and more importantly, it eased the baby’s movements. He sighed in relief, feeling the weight of the day wash off his body as he finally was able to relax. 

“Taeyong-san?”

“Hm?”

“You were saying something,” Yuta-san said. Taeyong heard him shuffle some sheets and then the sound of a pen moving across a paper. “About what Ishigami-sensei said to you.”

“Oh, right,” Taeyong said. He opened his eyes and peered up at Yuta-san. He was leaning on the headboard, a pillow supporting his back, and he had his work across his lap, a stack of paper balanced on a thick binder. He saw that Yuta-san had washed up and gotten changed into something more casual. His hair still looked a bit damp. It wasn’t often that Taeyong saw him like this and that made him… happy. “You are very pretty right now, Yuta-san.”

It was too dark for him to see but Taeyong saw how Yuta-san’s expression grew shy. He wished he could see how the color flushed across his face. “Taeyong-san, that’s… that’s not what you were going to say.”

“Oh, Ishigami-sensei, right…” Taeyong hummed, turning onto his back and closing his eyes. “The baby wants to be near you.”

“That’s what she told you?”

Taeyong hummed again. “She said you would want to be near, too.”

“I can’t say she’s wrong. I mean, she is the doctor,” Yuta-san said.

Taeyong chuckled. “I don’t know if it’s the baby or if it’s me,” he said. He kept his eyes closed but he could imagine Yuta-san’s curious gaze on him. “But _ I _ want to be near you, too.”

“Taeyong-san…”

“It’s almost March, you know?” Taeyong asked. He turned onto his side again and opened his eyes, peering up at Yuta-san. “It’s been six months and… I’m supposed to be starting my heat.”

“But you’re not,” Yuta-san said, setting his pen down. It rolled down somewhere on the bed but Yuta-san made to move to reach for it. “Because you’re pregnant.”

Taeyong was more awake now. He pushed himself up a little, the covers falling off him. He wanted to reach out and touch Yuta-san but he held back. “It takes a different form now,” Taeyong said.

All the wanting and needing to be satisfied made sense to Taeyong after he read some more from the books he and Yuta-san picked up. Six months after a heat where conception was successful, another heat needed to follow. But it wasn’t possible when pregnant so all the urges and the desire made up for it. 

Yuta-san. Yuta-san. Yuta-san.

“Taeyong-san?”

“What did you mean, when you said you wouldn’t be able to control yourself?”

This stopped Yuta-san. He set his work onto the nightstand after a moment, placing the lost pen on top of the stack of papers as well, and kept his hands over his lap. “Well, you said Ishigami-sensei told you I would want to be close to the baby. It’s true. I don’t understand it but I know that I feel calmer when I’m near the baby.”

“And me?”

“You…” Yuta-san sighed. “I don’t know what it is about you.”

The words made Taeyong freeze. He looked at Yuta-san. “What?”

Suddenly, Yuta-san was close, closer than before, his lips were grazing the shell of Taeyong’s ear. “You drive me crazy.”

Taeyong felt the warmth bloom over his face, crawl up to the tips of his ears and down his neck to his chest. The warmth continued even further down than that. While embarrassed, there was nothing that pleased Taeyong more than this. “Do I?”

“Yes,” Yuta-san breathed. “You smell… so sweet. So, _ so _ sweet.”

A chill ran through Taeyong’s body and he couldn’t help but try to scoot closer to Yuta-san, his hands wanting to touch. It was like nothing Taeyong had ever experienced before. Whether this was simply the effect Yuta-san had on him now or it was only the hormones from the pregnancy ruling his mind, Taeyong wasn’t sure but he knew that he loved it more than anything.

“I try so hard to keep my hands to myself but you make it so, so hard.”

Taeyong exhaled slowly. “So don’t.”

Yuta-san kissed Taeyong’s temple. His lips moved down to Taeyong’s jaw, lightly sucking as he went along, and Taeyong let out a shaky moan, hands grabbing a fistful of the sheets around him.

With a sigh, Yuta-san pulled away. “As much as I’d love to, I think that… we should keep such activities to a limit.”

Taeyong fell onto his back with a loud groan. “You told me you wouldn’t be difficult.”

“I’m not being difficult,” Yuta-san said. “I’m being reasonable.”

“I’m going back to my room,” Taeyong said but before he could move, Yuta-san took his wrist. Taeyong looked back at him. “What?”

“I could help you but I’m not going to do what you want me to do,” Yuta-san said.

Yuta-san was being serious. Taeyong could feel it and it made him shiver.

“Then what are you waiting for?”

* * *

They had a few months to get everything in order. Taeyong had gotten his Maternal and Child Health Handbook at the start of his pregnancy. Apart from the personal journal, he had made sure to keep up with the handbook, bringing it to his check-ups for Ishigami-sensei.

He’d received information about pregnancy classes and other services at the city office, which he’d taken into consideration but he had yet to mention it to Yuta-san. He was sure they would begin going soon though. As much experience as Taeyong had handling children, he would feel more at ease after a few classes.

And at work, Taeyong had made the announcement that he was expecting, though most of his co-workers had realized it a few weeks earlier. He received many congratulations and even though his superiors were excited for him, they also needed him to find someone that would take his position while he took family leave.

It was so much stress and Taeyong wondered if it would’ve helped to start earlier. He called his mother and sister more often and they assured him that it all would’ve been just as stressful. They helped as much as they could though they were unfamiliar with how things might work in Japan.

Christie was able to help him a lot as well. She told him everything he needed to do and Taeyong made a checklist. There were so many things to be done and so little time to complete them in.

“Taeyong-san, breathe,” Yuta-san said. He placed his hands on Taeyong’s shoulders and inhaled deeply. Taeyong followed. Yuta-san exhaled. “Now, let go.”

Taeyong exhaled. He placed a hand on his stomach. There was some change but he still was small. Ishigami-sensei assured him he was fine and the baby was fine. He felt a kick and everything was fine. He reached for Yuta-san’s hand and placed it on his stomach.

“He’s kicking,” Taeyong said.

He felt another jab but it wasn’t where Yuta-san’s hand was.

“C’mon, let your dad feel,” Taeyong whispered down at his stomach. He took Yuta-san’s hand and moved it to another spot. “Here.”

It took a second but then Taeyong felt it. Yuta-san looked surprised. He kept his hand there and met Taeyong’s eyes.

“That’s him?”

“That is him,” Taeyong confirmed as another kick came up against Yuta-san’s palm. It didn’t hurt and Taeyong had gotten used to the feeling but it was odd having someone else feel it. “Getting stronger every day. They weren’t this strong last week.”

“Would it be weird if I talk to them?”

Taeyong laughed, imagining Yuta-san talking to his stomach. It was a sight he wanted to see. “If you want to try before everyone else arrived, go ahead,” he said.

“Let’s sit on the couch,” Yuta-san said. He removed his hand and pulled Taeyong to the couch. Taeyong got comfortable and Yuta-san sat beside him, leaning down. He placed his hand on Taeyong’s stomach again, slowly rubbing. “Hello.”

“You’re doing this,” Taeyong said, biting back his laugh. “You look silly.”

“I’m talking to my baby,” Yuta-san said. He turned back to look at the bump. “Right?”

There was some movement and Yuta-san seemed pleased. The smile on his face made Taeyong’s heart skip a beat. Whenever the baby was involved, Yuta-san looked happiest. It was so endearing to see the look in his eyes.

“Ishigami-sensei says you’re very healthy. Getting bigger and stronger every day,” Yuta-san continued.

He said a few more things, receiving a few kicks in response, but then the doorbell rang and Taeyong stood. Yuta-san followed but then stayed by the couch as Taeyong stepped out into the genkan. He pulled open the door and was met with Johnny and Christie’s faces. The twins were strapped into carriers on their chests and Johnny was holding the bags that held the catering Christie said they’d bring.

“Taeyong!” Christie exclaimed, already pulling him into a hug.

Taeyong embraced her, careful of the sleeping girl hanging from her front. “Come in, come in,” Taeyong said, pulling away. He opened the door wider, allowing his friends in. He offered them new guest slippers and they all moved into the living room, Johnny setting aside everything on the table. Yuta-san was waiting there. “Johnny, Christie, this is Nakamoto Yuta.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Yuta-san said, bowing at both of them. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course,” Johnny said. “It’s great to finally meet you.”

“We’ve heard so much,” Christie said.

It was a bit awkward at first but then their next guests arrived. Taeyong repeated the introductions with Doyoung and Mizu-chan. They seemed to ease the awkwardness. Taeyong sat beside Yuta-san, only watching as Yuta-san spoke to his friends.

Taeyong had anxious about finally introducing them. He had spoken to his friends about Yuta-san, the things he said about him increasing as time passed, and he mentioned his friends in conversation with Yuta-san. They knew of each other but now it was time to know each other.

Once Taeyong was sure everything was fine, he excused himself to get everyone drinks from the kitchen. Mizu-chan followed him to help. As they filled the small glasses with water, Mizu-chan hummed. Taeyong had known her long enough to know she had a critique to give.

“I think his hair is too long,” she said finally.

“You think so?”

She hummed again. “It’s all preference, of course.” She began to place the glasses on the small tray Taeyong had pulled out. “It suits him though.”

“It could use a small trim,” Taeyong agreed, placing his glasses on the tray in front of him. “Is that all?”

“He’s handsome and smart,” Mizu-chan said, a smiling forming on her face. “I don’t have much to say. But maybe Doyoung…”

Taeyong smiled, shaking his head.

They took the trays out and set out the drinks. As they finished, the doorbell rang again and this time, it was not one of Taeyong’s guests, but Yuta-san’s.

Taeyong led them inside and Yuta-san stood, making his way over. “Tachibana-san, this is my partner,” Yuta-san said.

The young woman smiled and bowed. “Tachibana Yuri. A pleasure to meet you,” she said. She looked at the taller woman beside her. “This is my wife.”

“Lee Taeyong,” Taeyong said, bowing.

He listened to Tachibana-san’s wife introduce herself, committing her name to memory. Taeyong recalled hearing about Tachibana-san from Yuta-san. She was the other ethics teacher at the school.

“Tachibana-san, Misaki-san, thank you for coming,” Taeyong said, smiling at them. He motioned to the living room. “Please make yourself at home.”

The two women went further in and introduced themselves to the rest of the group. Taeyong took a deep breath, placing a hand on his stomach. It was fine.

Having a baby shower wasn’t necessarily something Taeyong planned to do. It wasn’t too common but Christie had suggested holding a small party so they could meet Yuta-san. It was supposed to be small. Yuta-san had invited people he considered his closest friends and Taeyong had asked his friends to come. Christie and Johnny had taken care of the food. It was an informal thing. There weren’t any games or special decorations like Johnny said Americans had.

But as the rest of their guests arrived and the food was set out for everyone to serve themselves at their leisure, Taeyong was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. Everyone seemed to get along and there were plenty of conversations going on. Taeyong met Yuta-san’s co-workers and friends and Yuta-san was introduced to Taeyong’s friends. It was fine.

But there was something wrong. Taeyong felt it.

He was congratulated countless times and everyone, despite being asked not to, brought him a small gift. He was very thankful for them all and showed his appreciation, but it wasn’t the gifts that were making him feel uneasy.

His stomach was beginning to ache. It took him a while to notice but then he was sure of it. It was like a tightening at the bottom of his stomach. He wasn’t sure if he should tell Yuta-san, much less any of his guests. He didn’t want to frighten them but he was beginning to frighten himself.

Was something wrong? He tried to remember if Ishigami-sensei said anything about this but he couldn’t remember well. His doctor’s appointment had been at the start of February. He couldn’t recall anything from the books he’d read. Had he done something?

He excused himself from a conversation with Tachibana-san and Christie, moving to the hall bathroom, a hand on his stomach. He felt it again, the tightening in his lower abdomen. He grabbed the edge of the bathroom counter as he moved inside. He flicked the light on and looked at himself.

His appearance was fine. He looked fine. So why…

“Taeyong?”

Taeyong turned and found Johnny standing in the doorframe. “Oh, Johnny,” Taeyong cried.

At this, Johnny stepped inside, quickly taking Taeyong into his arms. Taeyong let go of the counter and hugged him. Johnny, comfortable and reliable as always, provided relief. Taeyong still felt uncomfortable and he was sure that Johnny could sense it because his hold tightened.

“Taeyong, tell me what’s wrong,” Johnny said.

“It hurts,” Taeyong said. He nearly whimpered as he felt it again. Were they contractions? Was he going into labor now? “I did something wrong. I think I did something.”

“No, Taeyong. I’m sure there’s a reason,” Johnny said. He pulled back, placing his hands on Taeyong’s shoulders. “Where does it hurt? How does it feel? I’ll bring Christie.”

“Johnny,” Taeyong gasped, beginning to panic, “I think, I think they’re contractions.”

“Contra―”

“Taeyong-san, are you okay? I could s―Hey!”

Before Taeyong could say anything, Johnny was pulled away from Taeyong and he was being pushed further into the bathroom. He gasped for air as his back hit the wall. It wasn’t from pain but the surprise of it all. He watched as Yuta-san stepped in front of him. Johnny was in the hall now, his back against the wall opposite the doorway, with a hand on his chest.

“What are you doing?” Yuta-san asked.

It was Yuta-san but his voice was different. It was angry and Taeyong felt himself shrink into himself a little at the harsh tone. What happened?

“You hurt him,” Yuta-san said. Something like a growl escaped his lips and Taeyong was startled. “What did you do?”

Johnny tried to step into the bathroom, hands held up in front of him. “Nakamoto-san, I didn’t―I was only trying to comfort him. Trust me.”

Taeyong couldn’t see Yuta-san’s face but Yuta-san stepped closer to Johnny, hand grabbing the front of his sweater. “You touched him,” Yuta-san said, voice low. “Why the fuck did you touch him?”

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong said. He reached out but he couldn’t bring himself to touch Yuta-san’s back. He was scared. He felt himself begin to shake and he pulled back, bringing his hand to his chest. “Yuta-san, please. Johnny wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

It was clear that Yuta-san wasn’t listening to Taeyong, caught in whatever daze he’d been pushed into by instinct. Yuta-san’s scent became overwhelming, even for Taeyong. It was beginning to burn his eyes and he felt the tears begin to form.

“Christie!” Johnny called out. It took a moment but then Christie appeared by the door. She cowered back immediately, clearly affected by the smell as well. Yuta-san seemed unaffected, still holding onto Johnny, becoming angrier as the moments passed. Taking a deep breath, Johnny continued: “Christie, Taeyong is not feeling well. Please let everyone know and have them leave. Tell Doyoung and Mizuho to come here and then get the girls into Taeyong’s room.”

Christie seemed paralyzed. However much Taeyong was affected, Christie was affected nearly double. It was_ her_ mate being threatened. Whatever distress Johnny was feeling, Christie must’ve felt ten times over. “John,” she whispered, trying to come inside.

“Christie, now,” Johnny said. His voice was firm but gentle.

“Christie,” Taeyong said, catching her attention.

“Okay, okay,” she said, sounding breathless before she hurried away.

Taeyong didn’t hear much. He heard Christie’s voice but couldn’t make out what she said. It was a moment but then he heard footsteps and other voices. Then it was all gone after a few minutes.

Christie came back, a sleeping Natsuki in her arms. The girl began to fuss, the environment too heavy for her too. Despite this, Christie seemed to hesitate. It looked like she wanted to stay and come inside.

“Christie,” Jaehyun’s voice sounded. “Let’s go.”

She continued down the hall followed by Jaehyun, who carried Kahi. Taeyong heard the door to his bedroom open and close. Then Doyoung and Mizu-chan appeared. Taeyong saw the hard expressions on their faces.

There were four alphas here, all of them trying to assert themselves, and it was completely overwhelming for Taeyong. The contractions he felt continued, another one hitting him as Mizu-chan stepped inside. Yuta-san regarded her with cold eyes.

“I am not… going to hurt him,” she said as she approached Taeyong. She held her hands up in defense. “Nakamoto-san, calm down.”

“Don’t touch him,” Yuta-san warned. His grip on Johnny’s sweater loosened and it was clear that Yuta-san would grab Mizu-chan if she came closer.

Taeyong would try again. “Yuta-san…” 

“You touch her and I will have no other choice but to kill you,” Doyoung’s measured voice came. He was still standing in the doorway, expression hard. Yuta-san’s attention moved to him. Doyoung was unfazed, his expression blank. “So Nakamoto-san, I highly encourage you to not.”

Mizu-chan looked at Taeyong. “Are you okay, Tae-chan?”

“I’m fine,” Taeyong replied. He felt a bit hazy and he felt another contraction. “But I think something’s wrong with the baby.”

Yuta-san seemed to hear this but instead of turning back to Taeyong, he tightened his grip on Johnny’s sweater again. “What did you do to him?”

“I told you, I did nothing,” Johnny answered.

It was still tense and Taeyong wasn’t sure how much longer he could take this. Mizu-chan came closer and soon, she had her hands on his, pulling him closer and to her chest. Taeyong let out a deep breath before gasping again, trying to collect himself. Mizu-chan was also strong and reliable. She was warm and comforting.

“I’m here,” she said, holding him tighter.

“Doyoung, help me,” Johnny said from behind Mizu-chan.

“Nakamoto-san, Taeyong is fine,” Doyoung said. He sounded angry now and Taeyong felt Doyoung pushing himself to the front, pushing back the pine and cinnamon. “Let… let Johnny go. If anyone is upsetting Taeyong right now, it’s _you_. Get out of this.”

Taeyong tuned them out. Yuta-san said something back but Taeyong didn’t want to focus on that. He needed to stay calm. Mizu-chan, he reminded himself, was strong and reliable. Calm and collected Mizu-chan.

“Doyoung, I’m taking Taeyong,” Mizu-chan said. She pulled back and looked at him. “You go first and I’ll be right behind you.”

“Okay,” Taeyong said, a bit breathless. He felt the tightening in his abdomen again. “I, I’ll go first.”

Taeyong waited a moment and then went, moving around Yuta-san and out into the hall, Doyoung’s hands giving him a small push. Mizu-chan was right behind him and she blocked the doorway, pushing him down the hall urgently.

Taeyong complied but he heard Yuta-san calling out for him, clear distress in his voice and the environment. And then he heard struggling.

“Johnny, grab him. Grab him!” Doyoung exclaimed.

“Taeyong, he’s going to be fine,” Mizu-chan said, not letting him look back when he tried. She opened the door to his bedroom and gave him a small push inside. She motioned to the door that led into the guest room. “He sleeps there?”

“Y-yeah,” Taeyong answered.

She said nothing else, closing the door. Before Taeyong could do anything, Christie was pulling him to the bed, grabbing his face, and looking at him. “Oh, you’re fine. Taeyong, you’re fine,” she cried, embracing him.

“I’m fine,” Taeyong said. Christie pulled away and he placed both of his hands on his stomach. “But I think something’s wrong.”

Christie was quick to get Taeyong to sit on the edge of the bed and find his phone, calling Ishigami-sensei and explaining the situation. Taeyong couldn’t focus on what Christie said and he couldn’t hear Ishigami-sensei’s responses but when the call ended, Christie came up to stand in front of him.

“Ishigami-sensei has a feeling you’re not in labor but it wouldn’t hurt to go in and check,” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Do you want to go?”

“Yes,” Taeyong said.

“Jaehyun?” Christie asked, looking to the other side of the room, where Jaehyun had been waiting quietly.

“I can take you.”

Taeyong still felt dazed so he let Christie prepare him and let himself be taken down the hall. As they passed through, he saw that the bathroom was empty now and the light turned off. It didn’t smell like pine and cinnamon anymore. Or coffee. Or clean laundry.

Still, Taeyong couldn’t get the feeling out of his mind.

* * *

Having the nurse check if he was in labor was not the best experience Taeyong had. Taeyong hadn’t felt such discomfort in a long time. It was similar to his regular exams but somehow, much more uncomfortable. The nurse apologized profusely as she checked but he knew it would calm him once he knew if he was in labor. When she finished, she took note of it and then went to find Ishigami-sensei, leaving Taeyong in the room alone.

The room was a bit larger than the examination rooms he’d been in. He was in a bed and there was a small television on the wall, a chair in the corner, a small table, and a small countertop with a sink. There was a door near the bed which he’d been told was a small bathroom, should he need to go.

He waited, not feeling like moving. Christie and Jaehyun were waiting in the front, not wanting to intrude on his privacy. It was a bit lonely, admittedly. Despite asking, neither of them had given him any news on what happened with Yuta-san. Christie may not know but Taeyong was sure Jaehyun recognized what happened.

It made him nervous. Taeyong only knew what he heard and what he heard was often exaggerated stereotypes. He didn’t want to come to unrealistic conclusions.

Before his imagination could begin to do its worst, the door opened and Ishigami-sensei stepped inside, bright as ever. She smiled as she approached the side of his bed.

“Good afternoon, Taeyong-san,” she greeted. She checked the clipboard in her hands. “It seems as though you are not in labor. What you experienced were Braxton Hicks.”

“False… labor pains?” Taeyong asked. He remembered. A sigh escaped his lips as he fell back onto the pillow behind him. “I’m sorry for coming in such a panic, Ishigami-sensei.”

“Not at all,” she said. She smiled warmly. “I’m very glad you came in.”

“Everything is okay?”

She nodded. “Everything with the baby is okay,” she said. Her manicured nails tapped the back of the clipboard in her hands. “Although, when you came in, you were very distressed. It caused no harm to the baby, but you have to take it easy, Taeyong-san.”

“I know, I know,” Taeyong murmured. “I’ll take it easy from now on.”

“Very well. You’ll be able to go home now. If you feel this again, you’ll be more prepared. Should it happen again, please drink some water and then take a small walk or rest.” Ishigami-sensei smiled again. “I will see you for your check-up in a couple of weeks.”

She left him and the nurse returned, helping him up and bringing him his clothes from earlier. He filled the paperwork she had and then thanked her. After he changed and was helped to the front, he sighed. The waiting room was empty except for Christie and Jaehyun, who came up to him.

“Taeyong!” Christie exclaimed, taking hold of his arm. In the carrier strapped around her, Kahi was watching Taeyong with her round, brown eyes and her fingers in her mouth. Christie took Kahi’s hand out, holding onto it as she looked at him. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” Taeyong said, waving her off. “Baby is fine, too. They were Braxton Hicks. Nothing to worry about.”

“I thought they might’ve been,” she said with a small smile on her face. Kahi placed her head against Christie’s shoulder and Christie brought her hand to her small head, running her fingers through Kahi’s short brown hair. “Well, now that everyone is much calmer, we can go back home.”

Taeyong bit down on his bottom lip. “Do you…” He huffed. “Christie, what happened?”

Christie opened her mouth but nothing came out. She sent a look to Jaehyun, who had remained quiet. It was unlike him. He was holding a sleeping Natsuki in his arms, her small face buried against his chest. He looked between Christie and Taeyong, swaying back and forth when Natsuki began to stir.

“Jaehyun?” Christie prompted.

“Well, it seems as though…” Jaehyun cleared his throat and Taeyong saw how his cheeks flushed pink. “He was trying to protect you. From what Doyoung told me, Yuta-san must’ve thought you were in danger. It’s―it’s a bit hard to explain but…”

Taeyong looked around, noticing a young couple had come inside the waiting room. “We should go back and then we can talk.”

“Of course,” Jaehyun said.

They left the clinic and moved to Johnny’s car. Jaehyun handed the keys off to Christie once they finished buckling Kahi and Natsuki in their car seats. Taeyong sat in the back, behind the passenger seat where Jaehyun was. Beside him was Kahi, strapped into her seat with a thin blanket over her lap. She continued to stare at him with her big eyes, small hands clutching onto the fabric over her.

While the twins shared many of Johnny’s features, Kahi’s eyes were definitely like Christie’s. Natsuki’s eyes were smaller and had a more distinct almond shape but Kahi’s were round with thick lashes fluttering as she blinked up at him curiously.

Taeyong smiled, taking her small hand. She wrapped her chubby fingers around his ring finger, keeping him close. Her cheeks seemed to always be painted over pink, her short brown hair falling around to frame her round face. He shifted his gaze to Natsuki, who was still sleeping, her features similar to her sister’s. Her long lashes rested against the apples of her pink cheeks and her fingers were in her mouth.

To think that Johnny and Christie had brought such wonderful girls into the world. Taeyong knew that Johnny would make an amazing father and he knew that Christie would be a wonderful mother but for some reason, the idea seemed so far for Taeyong. It felt like only a year ago he and Johnny were sharing a shitty apartment near Waseda, trying to save up to move out and move on. How had it been so long?

It only reminded him of how slow he had progressed. He always just focused on work and going higher. He pushed aside the idea of committing himself to a serious relationship to advance and be better than those around him. No wedding and no children at the age of thirty. He was nearing the end of his prime. Had he wasted so much time doing nothing? Chasing after something he had the rest of his life to chase?

Things were moving quickly now. Taeyong found he didn’t mind so much anymore but he wished he could’ve taken the time to enjoy it. How would it have been to find Yuta-san earlier and fall in love with him properly? How many months, how many years could they have had together before welcoming their child into the world?

It was pointless to think about it. As much as Taeyong craved Yuta-san, as much as he wanted to know everything about him, Taeyong knew that he couldn’t reach the level that Christie and Johnny had reached, or even Doyoung and Mizu-chan, in a few short months. Even if he wished he had more time, Taeyong couldn’t find it in himself to regret it. Taeyong had taken it slow his entire life. It didn’t hurt him to pick up the pace and try to catch up to everyone else for once.

He didn’t believe in things like fate but… could it be?

Taeyong placed his other hand on his stomach. There was a small kick against his palm.

_ And do you feel it too? _

* * *

The lights in the apartment were on as Jaehyun opened the door. He stepped inside first. After a moment, he let Christie and Taeyong pass through.

Taeyong toed off his shoes, careful not to jostle Kahi in his arms, and stepped further inside. It was clean. In their rush to leave, they left everything as it was but now, all the trash had been discarded, the food had been put away, and the gifts were placed in the corner, by the couch.

A door opened in the hall and soft footsteps came down. Mizu-chan appeared at the end of the hall. She tilted her head in question as she met Taeyong’s eyes. “Are you alright, Tae-chan?”

“I’m okay,” Taeyong answered, his voice coming out much softer than he intended it to. He held Kahi a bit tighter against him, moving her so she didn’t rest directly on his stomach. “Is everything okay here?”

“I think it’s best if you take a seat, Tae-chan,” Mizu-chan said.

It was hard to read Mizu-chan. She didn’t wear her feelings and thoughts on her face. Much like Doyoung, she always maintained a calm and collected demeanor. Even in times of trouble, she held onto her composure, becoming a reassuring presence and an anchor to hold everything in place.

But now, Taeyong could see that even Mizu-chan could be deeply affected by something. Taeyong could see it in the way her eyes flicked from Kahi in his arms and back up to his face. Her hands weren’t shaking but she was playing with her engagement ring, something Doyoung mentioned she did when she was nervous. 

Taeyong looked from Mizu-chan to Christie, who only smiled. “I’m going to change the girls and put them to bed. Would that be fine, Taeyong?”

“Of, of course,” he said. He returned his attention to Mizu-chan. “I’m going to put Kahi-chan in the room and be right back.”

Before Taeyong could even take a step after Christie, Mizu-chan held her hands up. “No,” she said, voice balanced. “Let Jae-chan do it.”

Jaehyun came and took Kahi from Taeyong’s arm. The lack of warmth was a bit startling but Mizu-chan came closer, taking his hands and leading him to the table. Taeyong watched as Jaehyun and Christie disappeared down the dark hall.

“Tae-chan,” Mizu-chan said, sitting beside him. She kept her hands over his. “Yuta-san is doing okay.”

“But?” Taeyong asked. He frowned as something odd settling over his chest. Something was not right. “There’s a ‘but’, what is it?”

Mizu-chan sighed. “But I don’t think you should see him,” she said. She continued before Taeyong could protest, her grip on his hands tightening. “He doesn’t quite remember what happened earlier. He started to feel awful about what he did once Johnny-kun told him and he asked for you not to see him in the meantime. There’s… a lot going on over there. I’m sure Christie is being affected by it, too.”

“By what?” Taeyong asked.

What was it he didn’t understand?

“Tae-chan, what Yuta-san did was…” Mizu-chan grimaced, dropping her head. Her hair fell around her face, obscuring it from Taeyong’s sight. She didn’t look back up at him when she spoke again. “The best way to describe it is self-preservation and it’s not something any, _ any _ alpha is ever proud of admitting.”

Taeyong pulled his hands away from Mizu-chan. “Self-preservation?”

“If you had been hurt, then in Yuta-san’s mind, there would be many things at risk.” Mizu-chan finally looked up, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Since you’re a prospective mate carrying his child, if you had gotten hurt, the possibility of continuing his bloodline would be at stake. That, and more artificial things, like the state of the home and personal needs. These instincts took over and he wasn’t himself during the entire thing.”

“So…”

“It’s not something to be proud of,” Mizu-chan said. “It’s a very, very disgusting thing. Such aggression is looked down upon in most situations. Hurting another as part of an instinct we have to dominate is not right. I ask that you understand why Yuta-san asked you not to see him.”

“If I see him, would it make it worse?”

Mizu-chan took a moment to answer. “I’m sure he’s worried about your well-being, as well as the child. Yuta-san would be relieved. But the shame he must feel is overwhelming.”

Taeyong had never seen any alpha act the way Yuta-san had. It was terrifying. He had heard of it on the news and there were many books he’d read for school growing up that described something similar to what Mizu-chan was talking about. It was frightening to know that someone could ravage an entire village for the sake of protecting their mate. It was like protecting property. It didn’t sit well with Taeyong. Yuta-san had tried to hurt Johnny and Mizu-chan, even if he hadn’t been in his right mind then.

And Yuta-san was such a caring and gentle person. If it had been Taeyong, he’d feel the shame overtake him along with the fear and guilt of having lost control.

“Thank you, Mizu-chan,” Taeyong said. “Is he awake now?”

“Ah, he was awake but he’s most likely fallen asleep,” Mizu-chan said. She stood up, smoothing down her blouse. “Taking Yuta-san out of it was hard on him, physically and mentally. Johnny and Doyoung were keeping him company.”

“And they’re okay? Are you okay?”

Mizu-chan smiled at this. “Yes, Tae-chan, we’re okay. Johnny did get a scratch but nothing a bandaid can’t fix, though Christie will have a fit over it.”

Taeyong sighed in relief. He felt the tightening in his abdomen. Knowing what they were now, it was almost like they weren’t happening. Only if he focused could he feel them and they had gradually faded. He placed a hand on his stomach.

“Self-preservation, huh…” He looked at Mizu-chan. “I can’t keep you any longer. I’ve caused enough trouble.”

“Are you sure, Tae-chan?”

“I’m sure.”

Taeyong waited as Mizu-chan went to get Doyoung. A few minutes later, it was Johnny and Doyoung that appeared. They looked tired but not defeated.

“Taeyong, how are you?” Doyoung asked, regarding him carefully.

“I’m fine, baby’s fine,” Taeyong answered.

“Yuta-san is sleeping now. I suggest you go to sleep, too. Today was hard on you. It can’t possibly be good.”

“I will.”

Jaehyun, Mizu-chan, and Christie came out next, the girls in Christie and Jaehyun’s arms. Johnny was quick to take Kahi from Jaehyun, bringing her close and pressing his lips to the top of her head.

It was a quiet exchange of goodbyes. Taeyong thanked everyone, feeling like he could burst into tears. He wished he hadn’t put his friends in such a position but even as he apologized, they waved him off, telling him it was fine. He closed the door as they left and then he was alone again.

Taeyong moved to the living room and eyed the gifts but the excitement from earlier had faded. He’d sort through them tomorrow. He tidied a bit more, making sure any leftover food was stored properly and washed the few dishes in the sink.

As he moved down the hall, he hesitated in front of the guest room door. He heard a low moan on the other side and he felt compelled to go inside and comfort Yuta-san. He held himself back, moving to the bathroom inside his bedroom.

He washed up, taking a quick shower and then a bath. It soothed him a bit more and he felt a bit better once he was dressed in something more comfortable. But before he could go to his bed, he went back out into the hall.

Against Mizu-chan’s words and Yuta-san’s wishes, he opened the door and stepped inside.

“Taeyong-san?”

Yuta-san sounded like he was in pain. Taeyong carefully moved further inside and to the bed. Yuta-san was under the covers and he had a fever patch on his forehead. Taeyong could see the sweat forming at his hairline and the discomfort on his face.

Perhaps Yuta-san didn’t want Taeyong to see him in such a state either.

Taeyong carefully placed his palm over Yuta-san’s forehead. He was warm. “You have a slight fever,” he mumbled, removing his hand. He sat on the edge of the bed, hands over his thighs.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Yuta-san breathed out. “Mizuho-san should’ve told you.”

“She did,” Taeyong said. He eyed the nightstand, seeing the box of fever patches, a bottle of painkillers, and a glass of water. He moved his attention back to Yuta-san. “But you’re sick.”

“I’m not sick. I’m withdrawing.”

“From what happened?”

Yuta-san immediately looked guilty. “Taeyong-san, I―”

“Don’t say anything,” Taeyong said. “Mizu-chan said you weren’t yourself.”

“Still, I must say I’m sorry,” Yuta-san said. His voice was smaller than usual. He closed his eyes and sighed. “I’ve never experienced such a thing. It was like… red, hot anger. And even if I wasn’t myself, I knew that I needed to protect you.”

“Because of the baby,” Taeyong added. He looked down at his lap. He could barely see his hands because of his stomach. “I know. Mizu-chan said that.”

“Yes because of the baby but also because of you,” Yuta-san said. When Taeyong looked back at him, his eyes were open and already on him. “Before I even walked in, I could sense something was wrong. When I saw Johnny-san was holding you and the distress around you grew much more intense, I thought… Ah, I can’t remember, but I knew I needed to get you away from him. I was scared something happened to the baby but at the moment, I was much more scared of losing you.”

“I’m here, I’m fine,” Taeyong offered.

Yuta-san smiled. He looked a bit tired and it didn’t quite reach his eyes but it was fine. “I’m sorry you had to see that side of me,” he whispered. “And this side as well.”

“Wouldn’t I have seen it at some point?”

“Maybe.” Yuta-san sat up a little and reached out, placing his inner wrist against Taeyong’s temple. Taeyong leaned in, eyes closing. “You should go to your room and sleep, Taeyong-san.”

When Yuta-san pulled back, Taeyong opened his eyes. He blinked a few times and then took Yuta-san in. He was feverish. Mizu-chan didn’t mention what, or if any, other side effects Yuta-san would have after being pulled out of such a thing. Taeyong wasn’t sure what it was but it had left Yuta-san looking a bit ragged. It wouldn’t be right of Taeyong to leave him to suffer alone, even if Yuta-san felt guilty about it.

“I’ll take care of you,” Taeyong whispered.

“Taeyong-san, wh―”

Before Yuta-san could finish, Taeyong had raised his arm, placing his inner palm against Yuta-san’s temple. He felt the sweat on his hot skin but ignored it. “Let me take care of you,” Taeyong said.

“Okay,” Yuta-san said.

Taeyong kept his arm there for a moment longer before pulling back. He had Yuta-san lay back and he replaced the fever patch with a new one. He refilled Yuta-san’s glass after having him drink the rest. He sat beside Yuta-san, a towel in hand, dabbing away the sweat that formed on his face.

Yuta-san seemed to grow calmer and calmer. His breathing was steady and his eyes were beginning to flutter shut. Taeyong admired him for a moment.

How many times had he taken the time to admire Yuta-san? To take in every detail about him?

Yuta-san’s plush lips were slightly parted as he breathed, chest rising and falling slowly. His long lashes kissed the apples of his cheeks as he tried to stay awake. The flush on his cheeks suited him, making him look a bit younger. He was attractive. Taeyong knew this. But now, instead of seeing Yuta-san as someone who was merely attractive, Taeyong considered him to be beautiful.

It was not like before, when they had sex, and Taeyong thought Yuta-san was beautiful underneath the soft light of the moon filtering past the sheer curtains. No, this was different.

Yuta-san was beautiful. He was smart and kind. He was passionate and worked hard. He handled things with a certain gentleness Taeyong admired. He adored the unborn child within Taeyong, a child he was already proud of. His smile was bright and his eyes even brighter. He managed to set Taeyong’s skin aflame and warm him up in a way no one else had. He had hopes and dreams for himself, for them. 

Yuta-san was _beautiful_.

Taeyong wondered if falling in love with Yuta-san over a long period would’ve been the right thing to do in another life. He would’ve known everything there was to know about him and his life. Yuta-san would’ve been the constant presence Taeyong had unknowingly desired for so long.

But was there anything wrong with falling in love like this? So quickly and so fiercely? Was that something Taeyong could do?

When Taeyong dabbed at Yuta-san’s forehead again, he let his inner wrist linger against Yuta-san’s temple for a moment longer, allowing himself to believe that, yes, for a moment, he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you for reading! As always, I sincerely appreciate all the support I receive for my writing. I hope that this, or any other fic you might read, keep you company while you're at home! Stay happy and healthy, friends. So, so much love from me to you!
> 
> Forgive me for any mistakes.


	9. But Lover, You’re the One to Blame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back so soon! I hope everyone enjoys this. I feel… silly about this chapter? In a very good way! Dang Yuta-san, you make me wish I could write your POV but you elude me to this day―to think I created you and can’t even understand who you are...
> 
> Today’s chapter title is brought to you by Lorde’s “The Louvre.”

“You could’ve told me,” Yuta-san said once Taeyong had shrugged off his coat and set down his things on the table.

Taeyong looked up, dropping his keys and phone onto the tabletop. The items clattered, filling the silence as he studied Yuta-san, who was still wearing his work clothes, tie hanging loosely around his neck. It distracted Taeyong for a moment but then he brought himself back, blinking at Yuta-san. “Huh?”

Yuta-san motioned to the bags on the table. “I could’ve gone shopping before you got home if you needed groceries,” he said.

“Oh.” Taeyong shrugged, moving his gaze back to the groceries. “It was on my way back from work. Besides, I took the bags with me. You would’ve gotten the plastic bags if you didn’t have these.”

“Still,” Yuta-san said, reaching into one of the bags and pulling out a packet of fish. He set it aside and continued to pull more items out. He set them down carefully. “I could’ve met you there or something. You wouldn’t have had to carry all this by yourself.”

Taeyong hadn’t bought much. He went grocery shopping at least once a week to buy things for breakfast or dinner. Today’s haul had been bigger since he skipped out last weekend, feeling a bit nervous about leaving after what happened at the party. Everything had been fine but Yuta-san had a slight fever well into Sunday morning and Taeyong hadn’t wanted to part from his side. 

Naturally, Taeyong was a caretaker. Had it been anyone else, Taeyong would’ve done the same, though since it had been Yuta-san, Taeyong felt a bit more compelled to stay home. He wouldn’t deny that.

They hadn’t spoken much about it. Yuta-san only tried to apologize when Taeyong brought it up on Sunday and Monday. Throughout the rest of the week, Yuta-san had been busy. The team had a few practice games that went well into the afternoon on top of their regular practice so contact with him had been sparse. Now it was Friday and Yuta-san had returned for his weekend stay at the apartment.

Arriving and seeing Yuta-san comforted Taeyong. He would never admit it to him, but Yuta-san’s presence added a sense of safety to the place, making it feel warmer and more welcoming. The effects of having a potential mate so close, Taeyong thought. As endearing as it could be, Taeyong didn’t want to insist on Yuta-san doing more than he needed.

He huffed under his breath and began to help Yuta-san. He set everything out and then made his trips from the table to the refrigerator and cupboards to put things away. Yuta-san tried to help, taking the items in Taeyong’s hands and moving to the kitchen when they crossed each other. Towards the end, Taeyong held onto the things in his grasp, insisting he could do it himself.

“There’s no more, Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said when Taeyong was making his way back. His hands fell on Taeyong’s hips, thumbs pressing against his hip bones, under his rounded belly. It was a surprising gesture but not entirely unwelcomed. That made something in Taeyong’s chest flutter. “Sit now. You must be tired.”

Taeyong tugged Yuta-san’s hands away carefully. “I sit at work all day,” Taeyong said, sidestepping him to collect his things and tidy up. “I need to walk around a bit, too, you know?”

“Right, right. Sorry,” Yuta-san said, following behind him.

He continued to follow but stopped when Taeyong reached his bedroom door. He stood in the doorway, switching his weight from foot to foot as Taeyong tossed his coat on his bed and took off the few accessories he wore. Taeyong eyed Yuta-san, only looking away to set his watch down into the small drawer he kept them in.

He turned back as he moved to remove his tie. “Yuta-san,” he said, letting his undone tie hang around his beck. Yuta-san looked at him, eyes a bit wider. “Do you need anything?”

“It can wait,” Yuta-san said. He stepped back and motioned to the end of the hall. “I’ll go back and wait. I could put some water on for tea?”

“Go ahead,” Taeyong said.

Taeyong couldn’t hold back the laugh that escaped as Yuta-san hurried back, footsteps heavy. He finished taking off his tie, placing it aside. It was a bit too early to bathe so he took a quick look in the mirror by his door and then stepped out, returning to the main room.

Yuta-san was already preparing a mug of tea for him. Taeyong took a seat and when Yuta-san finished, he reached for the warm drink, bringing it to his lips. He blew on it before taking a sip. It warmed his hands and his body as he swallowed, some sweet and floral remaining on his tongue.

“Thank you,” he said, nodding in Yuta-san’s direction. “Now, you have something to say?”

“Ah, yes,” Yuta-san said. He took a seat across Taeyong, folding his hands over the tabletop but it didn’t take long before he was fidgeting, wringing his hands, eyes glancing side to side in anxiousness. “It’s a bit serious but…”

“Yuta-san, just say it,” Taeyong said, setting down his mug. “Is it bad?”

“Well, that depends on how you feel.”

“Oh?” Taeyong raised an eyebrow. He was sure Yuta-san was over exaggerating. Taeyong could keep his calm in most situations. It wasn’t like Yuta-san was going to… leave, right? Before the thought could take over his mind, Taeyong pushed it away. “Tell me or you’ll stress me out.”

“It’s just…” Yuta-san took a deep breath. “I was thinking of subletting my apartment for the remainder of the time I have it. After that, the landlord will sign a new lease with my tenant. I was wondering if… that would be okay.”

Taeyong took a moment. That was not as bad as he expected it to be. He picked up his mug again and drank, using the moment to think about it.

Sublet his apartment? Yuta-san wanted to_ live_ here, with Taeyong then? Would that be okay?

“Taeyong-san?”

If Yuta-san stayed here, Taeyong would feel more at ease. His body was yearning after Yuta-san more the closer they got to the due date and truthfully, Taeyong enjoyed having Yuta-san here. There would be more noise around the apartment. It would be easier on him when completing chores, which would only get harder as he moved further along. And coming home during the week would be less lonely. But then, Taeyong and Yuta-san had never stayed together longer than a few days, at least not fully conscious and aware of the other.

What if they found they didn’t get along in the long term? Taeyong felt something twist in his chest. That wouldn’t happen yet he feared it was a possibility, regardless of how compatible they seemed to be.

“You’ll stay here with me then?” Taeyong asked, meeting Yuta-san’s eyes. “Would that be okay with you?”

Yuta-san blinked a few times. “Well… the question is, would it be okay with _you_, Taeyong-san.”

“Did you think I’d say no?”

Taeyong wasn’t sure why Yuta-san seemed certain he would shoot him down. Yuta-san should know how Taeyong felt, right? Or were Taeyong’s intentions not as obvious as he thought they were?

“I wasn’t sure you’d say yes.” Yuta-san seemed to hold his breath. “Is it a ‘yes’ then?”

“It’s not a ‘no.’”

“Are you sure?”

“It was going to happen at some point, right?” Taeyong hummed. “Might as well be now.”

He kept himself calm, placing his hands around his warm mug. He dropped his gaze to peer inside for a moment, taking a quiet breath. As he exhaled, his breath fanned over the tea, rippling the dark liquid. He wanted to seem nonchalant but his heart was racing. Yuta-san didn’t need to know that though. He only looked back up when he was certain he would be able to hold eye contact for more than a moment.

“You’re being too calm.” Yuta-san squinted at him, bringing his hands up in defense. “Are you sure you’re Taeyong-san?”

Taeyong cracked a smile. “Did you think I’d yell at you or something?” He took another sip from his mug. It was cooler now but the warmth inside Taeyong was permanent. He tried to ignore the possible reason why. “I don’t see why you’d think that. I’m a very calm person.”

“You are―you…”

“Well then, I should make dinner now,” Taeyong said, setting his mug down and standing. “We can discuss this more in detail later on. I’m sure it’s going to be a bit difficult but there’s time.”

* * *

The discussion to sublet Yuta-san’s apartment had been a long and hard one. After thinking about it, Taeyong decided that he needed to think about it more in detail. Yuta-san hadn’t done anything yet, waiting on Taeyong to let him know his feelings. After calling his mother, Taeyong was a bit more at ease.

“It’s going to be easier,” she told him. “Having him nearby will be better for you and the baby. Of course, it’s up to you, but organizing this, later on, will be more difficult. If he has to renew his lease and then decides to move in with you, it could be troublesome for everyone involved.”

His mother had a point. It would be harder to settle into one place later on. They had to begin preparing for the baby’s arrival and if they didn’t have a permanent place to stay, it would get confusing. Yuta-san couldn’t continue to only visit on the weekends once the baby was born. Depriving Yuta-san and the baby of each other would be cruel of Taeyong; it was the last thing he wanted to do. And Taeyong was too stubborn to consider leaving his apartment. Besides, Yuta-san had said it himself: Taeyong’s apartment was much more suitable for their baby.

Still, Taeyong felt they were rushing. It was too fast and he couldn’t get a grip on anything solid to hold himself up. What would happen once Yuta-san moved in with him completely? They were still building the foundation of their relationship. Despite the suddenness of the situation, they had significantly slowed down and were managing to take time to get to know each other in between their big decisions, still becoming comfortable with one another as each day passed. Even if Yuta-san loved Taeyong now…

And if Taeyong hypothetically loved Yuta-san back…

Would this disturb that progress? Staying in the same place…

But they weren’t teenagers. Taeyong had fantastic self-control. It wasn’t like he would pounce on Yuta-san anytime soon. No, that wouldn’t happen. Yuta-san wouldn’t do that either. He was a respectful man and kept his distance. And if they had arguments, they would be able to talk about it like adults. Yuta-san was agreeable and even if Taeyong was more stubborn, he could also be amenable if he needed to be.

Yuta-san was a bit nervous, feeling as though he was intruding on Taeyong’s place, but Yuta-san had made his place at the apartment already. Wherever Taeyong went, he could find a little bit of Yuta-san. He wouldn’t be intruding at all.

Taeyong was nervous as well. He wanted to ask his friends for their opinions but he didn’t want to face their judgment, not that they would be harsh. Taeyong knew they’d be understanding and maybe encourage him to take this jump but something about it still unsettled him. It took him a few days to finally break.

“Is this the right thing to do?”

Taeyong told Johnny first. Johnny was surprised but not against it, just as Taeyong expected him to be. “I don’t think so,” he’d said. “It’s the next step for you, isn’t it? It would be better for the baby if he was closer more often, don’t you think?”

And Taeyong_ knew _that. He knew it would be better for the baby. But he wanted to know if it would be better for him, for _them_. No one seemed to have the answer to that question.

“For you?” Doyoung asked back when Taeyong posed his concern. It took him a moment to form his response, humming around the straw of his drink. “It could be. I think only you know the answer to that question. You know, a few years ago, I read a study suggesting omegas may feel more―”

Taeyong hadn’t bothered to continue listening. He didn’t think this was a matter of alpha-omega dynamics. This was more on the level of dramatic relationship concerns. As much as he appreciated Doyoung’s answer, it wouldn’t answer his question.

He was the only one who knew the answer.

And perhaps the answer he found within himself was the reason why he and Yuta-san were standing outside a small complex on a cool March afternoon a week and a half after Yuta-san’s suggestion.

“It’s nice,” he commented, turning his attention to Yuta-san.

“Yeah, it’s okay,” Yuta-san answered with a shrug. He took the lead and they entered, moving to the elevator. As they waited, Yuta-san looked over at him. “I, uh―I found someone interested in the apartment.”

It had only been a few days since Yuta-san had let those around him know he was subletting his apartment. Yuta-san preferred someone he knew or an acquaintance of someone he knew, which was why he hadn’t posted an announcement anywhere else. He mentioned not knowing anyone who might be interested so they expected it to take much longer.

“Is that so? Already…” Taeyong hummed. “Who?”

“Do you remember Ootori-san from the party?”

A clear image didn’t pop into mind. He remembered the name and being introduced to a couple but was at a loss of what they looked like. He’d met a few of Yuta-san’s colleagues that day and so much had happened shortly after, the introductions were fuzzy. Regardless, he nodded.

“Ootori-san’s friend is looking for a place and this seemed like a good fit,” Yuta-san said. The elevator doors opened and they stepped inside, Yuta-san pressing the button for the fourth floor. “He’s coming to look at the apartment next week since the school year ended.”

Taeyong didn’t say anything, letting the silence take over for the short ride up.

Today had been the first day of spring vacation, teachers and students finally having an opportunity to take a breath and relax. Yuta-san had spent it at Taeyong’s apartment, doing whatever it was he did while Taeyong was at work. He’d taken off early, meeting Yuta-san for lunch. They had decided to come to Yuta-san’s apartment, so Yuta-san could begin packing and Taeyong could see it how it looked like.

It made him anxious but not in a bad way. He was curious as to how Yuta-san’s apartment looked like.

Once they stepped out and Yuta-san moved down the hall, Taeyong spoke. “I’m sure you feel a bit sorry for having to let go of your place,” he said.

Yuta-san stopped in front of a door. He didn’t move to input the code on the lock. Instead, he turned himself to Taeyong. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Taeyong bit on his bottom lip, not knowing how to phrase his question. “Don’t you feel a little sad?”

Someone down the hall left their apartment and stopped, her eyes falling on them. Yuta-san turned back and entered the numbers. The lock beeped and he pushed the door open, motioning for Taeyong to enter. Taeyong stepped inside, careful when he noticed the number of shoes in the genkan.

There was no noticeable organization to them. He recognized the pairs of shoes as Yuta-san’s. As he took off his shoes, a pair of slippers were placed by his feet. Yuta-san closed the door and took off his shoes, not bothering to put on the other pair of well-used slippers.

“Sorry,” he said, stepping further in. He scratched the back of his neck. “It’s a bit of a mess but I think it’s better if we talk in here. That was my neighbor, Honda-san, and she’s a bit of a gossip.”

“Right, right,” Taeyong said, wondering how it must’ve looked for her. Her neighbor with a man, a pregnant one at that, entering his apartment in the middle of the day. With a small sigh, he followed behind Yuta-san carefully, taking everything in.

It was Taeyong’s first time seeing Yuta-san’s apartment. He had the address for a while but Yuta-san never invited him over or said it was okay for him to visit so Taeyong never had. There was little reason to pass through this neighborhood so Taeyong hadn’t even known how the complex looked like.

Outside, it looked a bit more common but entering Yuta-san’s apartment, he could see it was on par with Taeyong’s apartment. The main living room was small, large enough to fit a sofa, coffee table, and a television stand. A small balcony off the main living room, tall glass windows going from floor to ceiling on either side of the glass door. The kitchen was sectioned off but a small bar created a small space to see out into the main living. There was a small dining table for four taking the space between the living room and the kitchen.

“Interesting,” Taeyong said. He covered his mouth and looked at Yuta-san. “Oh, I’m sorry―I…”

“It’s small, isn’t it?” Yuta-san interrupted, chuckling. “It’s nice but small.”

“A bit,” Taeyong said, admiring the few decorations Yuta-san had.

It wasn’t cohesive but everything came together nicely anyway. The furniture was a mix of cool and warm colors, sparsely decorated with colorful picture frames and wilting plants, yet everything fit together. A few papers and folders were strewn about, a throw blanket and hoodie discarded on the sofa. It showed how often Yuta-san must sit on the sofa to work, yet it didn’t look messy. It was comfortable and very real.

Taeyong hadn’t been particular when he first moved into his apartment but he wouldn’t lie and say he hadn’t slowly begun to replace things here and there to make it look put together. It was the part of him that wanted everything to be perfect. He kept common spaces clean, not wanting any guests to think negatively, so seeing his work files or random clothes about wasn’t a common theme with him.

Since Yuta-san had begun to stay the weekends however, there was a bit more to clean but it wasn’t burdensome. It made Taeyong’s apartment feel lived in. It was much less like a showroom in a furniture store and an actual home now. That was how Yuta-san’s apartment felt like.

Yuta-san’s scent was also much stronger here but not overwhelmingly so. It was warm and relaxing.

“Please make yourself at home,” Yuta-san said, motioning to the sofa. “I’ll get some drinks for us and we can talk.”

Taeyong made his way to the sofa. He felt a bit awkward moving aside Yuta-san’s things and taking a seat. He wondered if Yuta-san had felt this way when he was in Taeyong’s apartment the first few times, before their current living arrangements. Taeyong kept his hands over his knees but took the chance to look around.

The television stand was large and had built-in shelves. On them were small trinkets and books, but also photo frames. He spotted one with a photo of Yuta-san and his sisters, the three of them appearing much younger. Taeyong turned his attention to the side table, finding another picture frame there.

He didn’t reach for it but he studied the photo inside. It was a photo of Yuta-san and his sisters again but the three of them were children. Yuta-san couldn’t have been older than six or seven. His smile was wide, one hand throwing up a thumbs up and the other holding up Haruna-san by the arm, Momoka-san holding her other arm. Haruna-san looked like she could barely stand, her toes barely touching the ground. It was clear she was only being held up by her older siblings, her small face twisted into one of clear displeasure. Taeyong smiled. How would she feel knowing her brother had such an embarrassing photo of her displayed like this?

Yuta-san returned and Taeyong accepted the glass of water, taking a sip. He spotted a coaster on the coffee table and put his glass down, turning to Yuta-san. “It’s a very nice place,” he said, hoping Yuta-san would hear his sincerity.

“Thanks,” Yuta-san said. He sighed, looking around. “To answer your question… It is a bit sad leaving. I’ve been here for a few years now.”

“Right, I understand,” Taeyong said.

Yuta-san set down his drink before falling back onto the sofa with another sigh. It was much more relaxed. He spread his arms out, setting them along the back of the sofa. “It’s nice but―” He turned his head to look at Taeyong. There was something in his gaze that caught him off guard. “―this isn’t where I feel at home anymore.”

“Ah,” Taeyong breathed, turning away as the warmth spread over his face. “Yuta-san, that’s…”

“It’s a bit cramped, isn’t it? I can’t imagine you’d like to live here instead,” Yuta-san continued.

“The size is fine,” Taeyong said immediately. It was small but he could see himself getting used to it. He had gotten accustomed to the size of his place but this was okay, too. It would’ve been okay for them. “It’s only us after all.”

“The neighborhood is nice, too,” Yuta-san said. He sat back up, bringing his arms back to his sides and moving a bit closer to Taeyong. “I do like Kichijoji more though. There’s more for us there.”

For us. Only us. Taeyong took a deep breath.

“Yeah, I agree,” he said lamely. He turned toward Yuta-san, moving away when he saw how close they were. “Kichijoji is a little nicer.”

“Sorry,” Yuta-san said, scooting away until there was a considerable amount of space between them. He looked around for a moment. “I’m going to sell most of the furniture, I think.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Yuta-san exhaled deeply. “Moving it into storage would be expensive and a bit useless. I’m sure Ootori-san’s friend will buy them off me or I’ll sell them to someone online. I’d only be taking what’s personal to me.”

Taeyong swallowed the knot forming in his throat. “Well, you know, you don’t have to do that,” he said.

Yuta-san selling the furniture in his apartment would be him selling everything he worked for the last few years. All the money spent on furnishing the space would be made back but not its entirety. Yuta-san had a point about moving everything into storage though. Taeyong’s apartment had everything they needed already.

“Your taste is much better than mine,” Yuta-san said with a laugh. He stood up from the couch. “I’m just going to get some of my things for now.”

“I’ll wait here,” Taeyong said.

He made a mental note of finding a decent moving company for the rest of Yuta-san’s belongings. It wouldn’t be much but the sooner they moved everything, the better for them.

Taeyong spared a glance at the photo on the side table again.

He wondered where in his apartment such a photo would fit.

* * *

At Taeyong’s insistence, Yuta-san was in his bedroom. Taeyong was glad he’d been convincing enough to get Yuta-san to stay in the room, at least until Taeyong went to bed. Something about it was awkward but there was no denying how pleased Taeyong felt.

Yuta-san was marking up some old tests he never managed to hand back to his students before the break on the bed in his pajamas. Taeyong had taken a peek at the test but found he understood nothing so he left Yuta-san to his work, not bothering him or trying to understand why he would do such a thing when the school year had already finished. After taking a shower and a much-needed bath, Taeyong took the chance to catch up on his work, taking his side on the bed and pulling his laptop over his thighs.

It was growing warm against his skin but not unbearably so. He’d be done soon.

Taeyong pushed his glasses up his nose bridge, humming as he thought of how to end the email on his screen. He typed something formal and signed it off, scheduling it to send in the morning before moving to check a report he’d been sent.

“You understand that?” Yuta-san asked from beside him.

“What?” Taeyong looked at Yuta-san.

He motioned to the screen. “All those graphs and numbers… you get that?”

“I hope so if it’s my job,” Taeyong replied, smiling when he heard Yuta-san’s huff. “Not much of a math person?”

“Hate it with my entire being,” Yuta-san answered.

Taeyong couldn’t bite back the smile that spread across his face. “Of course,” he said.

It was silent after that, the only sounds being Taeyong typing away and Yuta-san’s pen moving across tests. It was comfortable and Taeyong couldn’t help but think: how long had he been missing this?

Yuta-san began to hum, stopping now and then only to resume after a second. It was calming and comforting in a way Taeyong had never considered before. No one and nothing had ever made him feel so at ease, not even his parents growing up.

Even though Taeyong hadn’t wanted to hear it then, now he was trying to remember what Doyoung had said. It had been about omegas and alphas, a study of sorts.

“You know, a few years ago, I read a study suggesting omegas may feel more comfortable with an alpha around because of the _solacium caritatis_, especially when around their mate or potential mate. The pheromones that the alpha uses to intoxicate the omega during sexual activity are more subdued and can provide _solacium caritatis_. You’ve heard of it, right? Alpha comfort?”

Taeyong had learned about it. In the classes he had growing up and in university, it was mentioned. Since it wasn’t part of history or culture and more a health and scientific topic, anything regarding it had been brief. In the health and biology classes he’d taken, it was covered more in detail but it was tricking understanding something that didn’t apply to his biology.

When Taeyong finished his work, he closed his laptop and got up to put it on his small desk. As he came back to the bed, he sighed, inhaling deeply. The slightest hint of cinnamon and pine shrouded his senses for a moment. The sweetness to Yuta-san’s scent still evaded him but Taeyong didn’t let it bother him; he allowed himself to enjoy it, finding it stronger tonight than any other time.

The alpha comfort wasn’t something Taeyong had experienced. None of his previous relationships with alphas lasted long enough to allow something like that to happen. It was a slight reminder of how new he was to this thing with Yuta-san. But if this feeling coursing through his body was how it felt, Taeyong was sure he’d never be able to let it go.

Even if his mind refused it, his body was willing, wanting to submit and get close, close, closer to Yuta-san.

He fell back onto the bed with a huff, closing his eyes and relaxing. When he noticed Yuta-san wasn’t writing anymore, he opened his eyes and found a curious gaze on him, a steady hand hovering over a test, red pen clutched between fingers.

“You alright?”

Taeyong hummed. “Yes,” he said. He situated himself in a more comfortable position, using a pillow for his back as he sat up against the headboard, keeping a small space between them. “Say, Yuta-san, how much do you like science?”

Yuta-san’s face scrunched up. “Not my favorite but at least it’s not math so…”

“Stop trashing math,” Taeyong said with a frown. He huffed but then relaxed again, stretching his legs out in front of him. It was nice, to be in bed, not doing much. Even the baby was calm tonight. Taeyong looked at Yuta-san. “Do you know about the alpha comfort?”

“Of course,” Yuta-san said. He returned his attention to the test before him. The thick book Yuta-san was using as a hard surface wasn’t large enough as Yuta-san turned the test to write. As he marked the sheet in red pen, he spoke: “It’s something we learn as kids. I’m sure there are things omegas learn that I don’t know.”

“Maybe.” Taeyong leaned it a bit, watching as Yuta-san crossed through the incorrect questions. “Like what?”

“Like… Keri disease,” Yuta-san said eventually.

“That’s common knowledge!” Taeyong exclaimed.

“It’s not as common as you think, especially here in Japan,” Yuta-san said with a small huff. Taeyong bit back a laugh when he saw Yuta-san’s displeased expression, enjoying the blush forming across his cheeks. It went away after a moment. “Anyway, why do you ask? About the alpha comfort?”

“I’m just wondering what it is,” he said.

“It’s just…” Yuta-san stopped, lips parted but nothing coming out. He hummed and then set aside his work before turning to Taeyong. He looked focused, lips pursed and eyebrows drawn in. “I’m not sure how to best explain this to you.”

“Tell me how they taught you growing up,” Taeyong said.

Yuta-san blinked a few times before nodding once. “Okay,” he said, his attention on Taeyong entirely. His gaze was soft and the rest of his features also fell, clearly relaxed. “It’s my way of letting you know it’s safe.” 

Taeyong’s breath caught in his throat. He cleared his throat. “Yuta-san,” he said, looking away, “I didn’t―I didn’t mean between _us_, I meant in general.”

“Oh.” Yuta-san moved back, creating the space between them again. “Well, in any case, that’s what it is.”

“Right, right.” Taeyong chanced a look at Yuta-san. His face was red and Taeyong found it a bit endearing. “And how do you do it?”

“What do you mean how do I do it?”

“Well, how do you make me feel safe?” Taeyong asked, putting a bit more emphasis on _me_. He was tempted to reach out and take Yuta-san’s hand but decided to spare him from further embarrassment. Instead, he reached for the covers and tugged them up over his thighs, clutching onto them. He closed his eyes, taking measured breaths. “Is it natural or something you force?”

“I suppose it’s a bit of both.” Yuta-san was quiet for a moment. “If you feel relaxed right now, it’s a natural comfort and it’s stronger because of the baby. But I can also―”

Taeyong felt warmth beside him and then gentle lips pressing against his jaw. He squirmed away, surprised and tickled by it, and a soft laugh escaped Yuta-san, warm breath fanning across Taeyong’s ear. His eyes opened and he stared at Yuta-san, who looked too happy for Taeyong’s taste.

“I can also do this,” Yuta-san finished.

“And what was that supposed to be?”

Yuta-san clicked his tongue a few times, the sound loud and clear in Taeyong’s ear. When Yuta-san’s lips returned to ghost over his skin, he shivered but allowed it to happen. It was nice and when Taeyong took a deep breath as Yuta-san moved down his neck, lips still hovering, Taeyong was hit with a more intense version of Yuta-san’s scent.

Cinnamon. Pine. And finally, _jasmine_.

The sweetness that Taeyong had never been able to make out was the strongest now. It wasn’t overwhelming to the point the jasmine turned bad. It was like a newly blossoming flower, still so rich, sweet, and new. Absolutely intoxicating and intense.

The stuttered breath that escaped Taeyong was unintentional. The way his shoulders fell and his fingers grew lax around the covers he was holding was unintentional. Everything his body was doing was not what he wanted it to do. It felt as though something had smoothed over his skin, relaxing his taut muscles, draining him of any stress he might’ve felt.

How absolutely amazing.

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong breathed out. He inhaled again and nearly whined. He was growing a bit dizzy but the feeling wasn’t entirely unwelcome. If anything, Taeyong wanted more. “Yuta-san…”

“Do you feel relaxed?” Yuta-san asked, moving back. His voice was low, barely teetering above a whisper, and Taeyong still felt his breath against his skin. “Taeyong-san?”

“I do,” Taeyong managed to say. His eyelids were beginning to feel heavy but he looked at Yuta-san, catching glimpses of him in between long blinks. “How…?”

“You feel safe, Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said. His voice was hushed and Taeyong felt warm hands help him lay down in the bed. They lingered for a moment before disappearing, taking his glasses off. Taeyong wanted to complain but seemed to only be able to focus on one thing now. He fought to stay awake, opening his eyes and looking up at Yuta-san. His smile was small. “I’ll let you sleep now.”

Taeyong let out a small whine, a hand reaching for nothing.

He heard Yuta-san move off the bed. “Ah, I probably should have asked if I could do this. I’m sorry, Taeyong-san,” he heard Yuta-san say. There was some shuffling and then something soft pressed again Taeyong’s forehead. When Yuta-san spoke again, it was by his ear, lips grazing over his skin again: “You’ll feel much more well-rested in the morning. You can go to sleep. It’s safe.”

Taeyong hummed, turning his head in Yuta-san’s direction. He was falling asleep now despite having energy a few minutes ago. He wanted to tell Yuta-san to stay but he couldn’t form words, his lips refusing to cooperate.

Another kiss was pressed, this time against his cheek. “As long as I’m here―”

Taeyong was gone before Yuta-san finished but his tired mind completed the rest. Still enveloped in a warm sweetness, a message of comfort from alpha to omega, the thought crossed his mind: _ I am safe. _

* * *

It was not morning when Taeyong woke. It was still dark beyond the curtains over his windows. He sat up and glanced at the clock. It was nearing two but Taeyong felt like he’d gotten a full night’s sleep.

After a quick stretch, he sighed, falling back against the mattress. He turned on his side, reaching out and feeling the other side of the bed. It was cold but Taeyong ignored that. He reached for the pillow there instead, pulling it closer and burying his face in it. Yuta-san had been in the room and sat in the bed long enough that his scent had caught on the fabric. As odd as it might be, he was glad Yuta-san’s scent was still strong after having left a few hours ago.

He felt the baby move but it was only a bit. Letting go of the pillow, he sat up, hands moving to his stomach. A small kick against his palm comforted him in the same way Yuta-san did, albeit maybe a bit more.

Taeyong got up, feeling a slight chill after being under the covers for a few hours. He made his way to the door, opening it as quietly as possible and stepping out into the hall. The floor was cold without his slippers but his footsteps were much softer this way.

After sleeping so well, Taeyong was hungry. He flicked the light to the kitchen on and the slight hum filled the air. He approached the cupboards, pulling them open slowly.

He hadn’t told Yuta-san about his cravings had been having. They weren’t strong. In the few first months, he had more a sweet tooth, letting himself indulge in more chocolate than usual. Yuta-san wasn’t around enough to notice. Only Doyoung had pointed it out, as observant as he was, and provided him with sweets throughout the day at work. It wasn’t excessive and the craving had died down since then. Now that he was further along, Taeyong enjoyed more sour and spicy things.

When nothing in the cabinets caught his eye, he moved to the refrigerator. He held onto the door, eyes searching for something inside. He reached in and grabbed what looked best, clutching it to his chest.

“Hungry so late?”

Taeyong nearly jumped at Yuta-san’s voice. More than his sudden words, Taeyong felt his presence directly behind him, not close enough to touch and be pressed together but close enough that his body heat radiated against Taeyong’s back.

“Just for a snack,” Taeyong said, hearing the shake in his voice.

“May I?” Yuta-san asked.

“Sure,” Taeyong said, letting go of the door and ready to step to the side to allow Yuta-san to find a snack.

Before he could move, Yuta-san’s hands fell onto his hips, holding him in place and Taeyong felt Yuta-san press against his back, a shivering breath escaping Taeyong’s lips. He felt Yuta-san’s breath by his ear for a moment and then felt Yuta-san rest his head against Taeyong’s shoulder.

“Oh,” Taeyong whispered with a shivering exhale. He returned his hand to the refrigerator door, holding it open. The white light from inside poured out and the items inside looked back at him. Taeyong clutched what he had in his other hand a bit closer to his chest when Yuta-san turned his head, his lips at the base of his neck. “What―what are you doing?”

“Taeyong-san,” Yuta hummed, sending vibrations through Taeyong’s entire body. “I―”

“Y-yes?”

Taeyong swore he felt Yuta-san smile against his neck and his grip on his hips tighten. He was also painfully aware of how close Yuta-san’s lips were to a certain spot. “Let me―” Yuta-san’s tongue was warm as he licked up Taeyong’s neck to his jaw, near his ear, and it made Taeyong jumped. He dropped what was in his hand and fell back against Yuta-san’s chest with a small cry of surprise, bringing his arms to cross over his chest, fingers curling to form fists. Yuta-san kissed him, his lips lingering a little longer. “―let me have you, as a snack.”

“Yu―Yuta-san!” Taeyong exclaimed, hands coming down to pull Yuta-san’s own away from his hips. He staggered forward, turning so his back hit the refrigerator. He stared at Yuta-san, breathing hard. “What on earth was that?”

Yuta-san had amusement in his eyes and it was threatening to spill out over his lips. Eventually, it did and his laughter rang out loudly as he threw his head back, hands clutched over his stomach.

Taeyong felt his face burn. He brought his hands up to his cheeks, squishing them before pulling away to fan at himself. “Good God, Yuta-san,” he murmured, mortified Yuta-san was still laughing at him. When he continued to laugh, Taeyong reached out and hit his shoulder. “Shameful!”

“Taeyong-chan,” he exclaimed in between gasps of breath, “You were so cute just now.”

“Yuta-san!” Taeyong cried, the embarrassment returning tenfold. He hid his face behind his hands and his skin almost burned against his palms. He’d die, right here and right now. Not only had Yuta-san addressed him differently, but he had called him_ cute_. “How―how… you are―ah!”

Taeyong’s hands were pulled away from his face and pinned against the refrigerator. He was staring at Yuta-san’s smiling face. “I’m what?” Yuta-san asked, voice falling to a whisper as his eyes moved over Taeyong’s face.

“You’re…” Taeyong swallowed, at a complete loss for words. He gasped when Yuta-san leaned in, his breath minty and hot over Taeyong’s lips. “You…”

“Is this okay?” Yuta-san asked, lips grazing over Taeyong’s. “Taeyong-chan?”

His cheeks were still burning and he was no doubt red in the face. And he felt his resistance weaken, his body allowing Yuta-san to pin him against the fridge, a high-pitched moan threatening to come out when Yuta-san’s knee forced Taeyong’s legs open, Yuta-san’s thigh pressing against him. He felt the blood rush down, something warm and hot pooling in his abdomen. If it weren’t for his stomach, Taeyong would’ve had Yuta-san’s body against him completely, chest to chest.

He was dizzy.

Yuta-san pulled back to lick his lips and Taeyong couldn’t help the whine that came from the back of his throat. “Yuta-san,” he said, his voice heavy with want.

Without another word, Yuta-san kissed him, Taeyong’s eyes fluttering shut. It was hungry and rough, enough to make Taeyong moan, the sound swallowed by Yuta-san. Taeyong inhaled through his nose, something spicy burning his senses, making tears form behind his closed eyelids.

Yuta-san pulled away, breathing hard. “Sorry,” he said, letting go of Taeyong’s wrists. Taeyong was breathless as well and his legs felt weak. He reached out to hold onto Yuta-san’s shoulders, not trusting himself to stand alone and not wanting Yuta-san to go. Yuta-san didn’t reach out to touch Taeyong, however. “Taeyong-san, that was… that was―”

“Okay,” Taeyong breathed out. He gave himself a second to catch his breath, trying to calm the rest of his body as well, willing his arousal away. “It was okay.”

Yuta-san looked unsure. “Are you sure?”

Taeyong shifted his hands and pulled Yuta-san back, wrapping his arms around his neck. “I’m sure,” he said. When he saw Yuta-san still looked unconvinced, Taeyong did something he would never do normally. He leaned in, bringing his lips to Yuta-san’s neck. He made sure not to touch, only breathing against his skin. His lips hovered over the spot at the base as he spoke: “Yuta-san, do I look unsure? Do I _ smell _ unsure?”

This close, Taeyong was able to hear Yuta-san swallow hard and how shaky his exhale was. “No,” Yuta-san said, his hands finally finding their way to Taeyong’s hips, his grip tight. “No, you smell―you smell… delightful.”

Taeyong couldn’t help but smile. He hoped Yuta-san felt it but by the small sound he heard come back the back of Yuta-san’s throat, he was sure he had. He pulled back, removing his hands from around his neck. He gently pulled Yuta-san’s off him as well. “Then don’t worry about it.”

Yuta-san stepped back, eyes wide. Taeyong took the chance to collect what he had dropped on the floor earlier. It had rolled away, not far from where he stood. After washing it thoroughly, Taeyong pulled out a small knife and cut it in half.

“Can we do that?” Yuta-san asked suddenly.

Taeyong set the knife down, turning around to look at Yuta-san. He watched as he licked his lips, his eyes landing on Taeyong, still wide. “Do what?”

“That,” Yuta-san said. He came closer but stopped about an arm’s length away. “I want you to do that but all the time, forever, and only to me.”

It took a moment but when Taeyong realized what Yuta-san was implying, he closed his eyes and covered his face again, the heat from earlier climbing back up his neck and settling across his face. “Yuta-san,” he mumbled, “That sounds too much like a proposal.”

He heard a few footsteps but Yuta-san wasn’t close enough that Taeyong could feel his warmth. “But―” Yuta-san took a deep breath. “―but I’ve…”

“Yuta-san?”

“Then this is my fourth time.” There was a short pause. “This is my fourth time proposing to you.”

“Yuta-san!” Taeyong turned around so he wasn’t facing Yuta-san anymore. He pulled his hands away from his face and opened his eyes, staring down at the kitchen countertop. He had his palms against the countertop, the cold feeling on the marble the only thing keeping him from lighting aflame right then and there. There were tears in his eyes but he wasn’t sure why. “When did you ever propose to me?”

“I proposed at my parent’s house. I said I wanted to marry you.”

“That doesn’t count!”

“And then on Valentine’s Day, I technically did it twice. I―at the park! That could count as a proposal.” Behind him, Yuta-san took another deep breath. “And when we were in bed, I said I wanted to belong to you.”

“Yuta-san, that _ hardly _ counts as a proposal!”

“It counts to me!” Yuta-san exclaimed. Taeyong felt his hand wrap around his wrist and he was being turned around, his lower back against the counter. He inhaled sharply at Yuta-san’s proximity. “You didn’t consider those as proposals?”

“Maybe at the park,” Taeyong confessed, realizing how their conversation had gone that day. Yuta-san had mentioned the ring he had but hadn’t given it to him. In Taeyong’s mind, it wasn’t a proposal but a _promise _of one. He could see how Yuta-san might’ve thought it could’ve been a proposal but he hoped he could understand why Taeyong didn’t think it was one. It was… that was different. And… “The other two don’t count!”

“Does this time count?”

“No!”

Yuta-san smiled, pulling back and letting go. “Okay,” he said. Taeyong brought a hand to his chest, still flustered, not knowing what was going on. “Okay then. I accept that. If you said yes once, you’ll say yes again.”

“I didn’t say yes,” Taeyong said, narrowing his eyes. Yuta-san’s smile was too big, too bright. “I gave you a _hint_. That doesn’t count as me saying yes.”

“I’ll ask you as many times as I need until you say yes out loud,” Yuta-san said. “I promise.”

“I’ll say no every time,” Taeyong challenged, not enjoying how Yuta-san was making him feel. A deep heat coursing through his body, his heart racing and his blood thrumming through his veins much quicker than usual. A part of him was extremely satisfied and endeared with Yuta-san’s promise. Not wanting to show Yuta-san the effect he had, Taeyong decided to tease as best as he could. “Will you be okay if I say no? Will your heart break?”

“Oh, yes. It’ll break one thousand times over but I’d let you break my heart a million times if it means you’ll say yes in the end.” Yuta-san was biting down on his bottom lip, something happy but anxious in his eyes. Taeyong could even feel it, smell it, the air shifting a little. “Even if you tease me, I feel like you want this.”

“Want what?”

“Me,” Yuta-said said without hesitation. He motioned between them. “This.”

Taeyong’s heart began to thump even harder. “Do I?”

“Almost as much as I do.” Yuta-san’s expression softened. “Am I right?”

Taeyong took a moment to answer. Instead of answering Yuta-san question, he asked one back. “I’m trying, you know?”

“I do.”

“This is new to me,” Taeyong said. “And it’s so fast.”

“I agree.”

“If you get tired of waiting―”

Yuta-san grabbed the hand Taeyong had against his chest. “I’ll wait forever,” he said, making Taeyong inhale sharply. “I can wait until you’re certain.”

“But Yuta-san, I―”

“I mean it.” Yuta-san leaned in, pressing his forehead against Taeyong’s, his eyes closing. Taeyong fought against the urge to close his own, admiring Yuta-san’s eyelashes as best as he could this close. His eyes moved down to Yuta-san’s lips, noticing the smirk forming there. “If you don’t want me to ask you a hundred times, you can always propose to me. I’ll shut up real quick.”

“Ah! That’s enough!” Taeyong exclaimed, pulling his hand out of Yuta-san’s hold and pushing him back. “Too much!”

Yuta-san stumbled back with a laugh, not fazed at all. Taeyong turned back, remembering why he came out here in the first place. He picked up his snack and brought it to his lips, sucking on it hard and feeling the sour juice against his tongue. It was delightful.

He turned back and Yuta-san stopped laughing, peering at the fruit in his hand curiously.

“Lemon?”

“I told you I wanted a snack,” Taeyong said, bringing it to his lips again and squeezing, drinking the juice that came out.

“But a lemon?”

Taeyong huffed, leaning back against the counter. “Don’t judge me for what this baby wants,” he said.

“You don’t even react to the sourness!” Yuta-san said, eyes locked on the lemon in his hand. “Why lemon?”

“I got used to it,” Taeyong defended, licking his lips. He waved the lemon in front of Yuta-san’s face. “I want sour things. Is that an issue?”

“Not at all,” Yuta-san said, grabbing Taeyong’s wrist. He leaned in and smelled the lemon, recoiling. When he regained his composure, he looked at Taeyong. “Too much of this is bad for you. If you’ve eaten enough to get used to the taste… Say, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t eat it every day,” Taeyong muttered, pulling his hand back. He brought the lemon to his lips, biting at the sour peel. The release of its essence tickled Taeyong’s nose but brought a welcomed scent, something familiar and nice. “I said nothing since I have cravings at night. You’re not here when it happens. Out of sight, out of mind, they say?”

“Something like that,” Yuta-san confirmed. He frowned. “But still, I could have… I could have bought the lemons!”

“Fresh? I only eat fresh lemons.”

“The freshest ones in all of Japan,” Yuta-san said with a nod. “I’d go out to pick them myself if I had to.”

Taeyong smiled, hiding his mouth behind the lemon half. “Stupid,” he said. “Your way of loving me is overwhelming.”

“Oh yeah?”

Taeyong froze, realizing what he’d said. Why…?

“Should I hold back then?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Taeyong said, trying his best to be nonchalant. He bit into the lemon again but the pith’s bitterness made its way through and he winced at the taste. The lemon juice and rind were fine but the pith wasn’t. Yuta-san kept his eyes on Taeyong and he tried to collect himself, pursing his lips and meeting his eyes. “If you held back, you wouldn’t be Yuta-san, would you?”

Yuta-san’s eyes widened and then: “Taeyong-san, marry me!”

“No!” Taeyong exclaimed, nearly letting go of his fruit. The all too familiar warmth of his blush returned. “Too soon! At least… consider the timing, Yuta-san.”

“I’ve never been good at timing,” Yuta-san said, stepping closer, hands naturally finding their place. After a second, his nose scrunched up. “Oh?”

“What?” Taeyong pulled the lemon away from his mouth

“You… the smell,” Yuta-san said. He pulled one hand away, creating a wafting motion. “It’s lemon.”

Taeyong held up his fruit. “Of course it’s lemon.”

“No, _you_, Taeyong-san.” Yuta-san closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before bringing his head down onto Taeyong’s shoulder, resting his forehead there. “I knew it was… citrus but like this, I can compare it. You smell like lemons.”

“Lemons?” Taeyong asked. When Yuta-san didn’t move, Taeyong nudged him in the side with his other hand. “Move, move. I can’t eat my snack if you’re blocking the path to my mouth.”

“What’s that?” Yuta-san asked, raising his head. “There’s a path to your mouth?”

“Yuta-san! Impossible!”

“I wish you’d show this cuter side of you more often, Taeyong-san. Does it only come out at night?”

Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek hard. He tasted something metallic and then it began to sting as the lemon juice still in his mouth ran over the bite. “Yuta-san, you have a way of testing my patience,” Taeyong said, running his tongue over where it stung.

“You make it too―” Yuta-san paused at looked at him for a moment. Suddenly, his hand was holding Taeyong’s face, his thumb and pointer finger pressing at the corners of his mouth to force it open. “You’re bleeding.”

Taeyong stayed put, not able to speak or move. Something cold ran down his spine, almost wonderfully so. What was this feeling? Was he _aroused _at being held this roughly by Yuta-san? He finally came to and with his free hand, pulled Yuta-san’s hand away.

“It’s nothing,” he said, hoping he didn’t look too rattled. “I just bit the inside of my cheek. How did you even…?”

“I…” Yuta-san blinked a few times. “I smelled it.”

Taeyong widened his eyes in surprise. “What?” He almost laughed. “What kind of alpha instinct is that, Yuta-san?”

To add to his shock, Yuta-san whined. It was a soft sound and Taeyong watched as Yuta-san’s expression twisted into something childlike, pouty and not at all endearing despite the quick beating of his heart. “I can’t help it, please try to understand,” he said.

“I’m fine, really,” Taeyong said, hoping to ease some of Yuta-san’s concern and get the pout off his face. It was too much. “Please don’t worry.”

“Fine,” Yuta-san said. He still sounded like he was whining but the expression on his face softened. Taeyong noticed he was stifling a yawn.

“Say, Yuta-san, why did you come out here? It’s nearly three.”

“I heard you out here. And it’s not like I have work in the morning. Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I feel well-rested,” Taeyong said. He stared at Yuta-san. “It… the thing―the thing you did earlier, because of that.”

“Ah, so it worked?”

“Never do it again,” Taeyong decided. He wasn’t serious and by the look on Yuta-san’s face, his teasing had been clear. “I hated it. Never do it to me.”

“Never again,” Yuta-san repeated.

Taeyong smiled. “You should go to sleep. I’ll finish my fruit and go back to bed.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Go,” Taeyong insisted.

After an unconvinced look, Yuta-san pulled away and left, taking one of the yogurt drinks from the refrigerator with him. Though Yuta-san’s scent lingered, it wasn’t as strong when Taeyong inhaled. It lingered far longer than he expected and as he sucked on the rest of his lemon half, he realized Yuta-san’s scent had mixed with everything. 

Every part and place Yuta-san had touched and been in had his scent, marking the apartment as his, as something he shared with Taeyong. And now that Yuta-san would be moving in permanently, it would only get stronger, linger far longer and mix with a scent knew was his own but could never smell himself.

A mixed scent… Taeyong wondered what guests would think. Surely they’d quickly realize Yuta-san and Taeyong were together. Even if they weren’t _together_, having something like a mixed scent gave off that impression.

Taeyong felt his chest tighten, aching with something he couldn’t describe. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt this ache and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last time.

As long as he was with Yuta-san, this ache would remain. And maybe he was okay with that.

* * *

Coming home and having Yuta-san there on a Tuesday evening was odd. Even odder than that was seeing Yuta-san wearing his apron, cleaning his hands on the front as he greeted Taeyong.

“What…” Taeyong licked his lips. “What are you doing?”

“I made us dinner,” Yuta-san said. He motioned to the dishes on the table. “I planned it so it’d be ready when you arrived. I’m… not as good of a cook as you are but I know how to make some things.”

Taeyong looked at the table. It was a very simple dinner. There was miso soup, fish cakes, and mixed vegetables along with two large bowls of rice. The presentation was a bit messy but Taeyong could set that aside.

“Thank you, Yuta-san,” he said. He looked at Yuta-san. “I’ll wash up and we can eat.”

It was odd. Not once had Taeyong had dinner already prepared when he arrived home unless he bought take-out. And the way Yuta-san had looked at him… as if waiting for his approval, left Taeyong confused, though a bit happy. He wasn’t sure what this feeling was but he decided it was good, it was nice. He wanted to feel this way more often.

He smiled, shaking his head as he took off his accessories and washed up in the bathroom. When he looked in the mirror, it was like seeing someone else. His face was rounder, yes, and he looked well-rested. His skin was clear and admittedly, he looked good. But more than that, he just looked happy.

Before walking back out to join Yuta-san, Taeyong took a few minutes to calm down, not wanting Yuta-san to see this. He’d be happy but there was the possibility he’d get too confident and surprise Taeyong with another proposal. Something told him Yuta-san was only half-kidding about asking him until he said yes. Taeyong wouldn’t be able to bear it.

During their conversation last night, he had been able to, too engrossed in the playful environment of a late-night conversation, but it a more serious situation, Taeyong wasn’t sure what he’d say. He wouldn’t say_ no_ despite his words but he didn’t think _yes_ would come out, and he didn’t want to know how Yuta-san might look if he faced rejection.

And Taeyong had a feeling.

He had a feeling _he_ might be the one to ask if he saw Yuta-san, having him be all too familiar and comforting within Taeyong’s apartment.

It had only been a couple of weeks since the party. Taeyong knew he was attracted to Yuta-san, physically but also in other ways. Ways that Taeyong knew indicated he was serious about this. Even if it might not be love now, it was the promise of love in the future.

Rushing something like that…

Only Yuta-san would be able to push Taeyong to do that. A part of him hoped Yuta-san wouldn’t. They weren’t ready, not when they were a few months away from the birth of their baby. But the other part of Taeyong, the reckless side of him that wanted to be in control, wanted Yuta-san to finally push him off the edge and make him finally fall, completely and awfully in love with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Hayley Williams’ voice) smells like citrus and... cinnamon.
> 
> Times I held myself back from writing these two having dirty, kitchen sex: 4. 
> 
> Anyway, do you guys know what jasmine smells like? Do you know what it means? What it does? It smells sweet and rich, described as intoxicating and intense; it can be considered an aphrodisiac. Jasmine, in some traditions, is the _perfume of love_―surprise, surprise! And in aromatherapy, jasmine’s used to relax the body, lower emotional borders, and for intimacy purposes! Wow! How _convenient_. Thank you, Google, for that.
> 
> Also, to explain why Yuta-san might have considered those previous times proposals: Most Japanese people don’t do grand proposals and they might go about it like “proposals” in here! Another thing: _solacium caritatis_ is Latin (I do not know it; only used my friend, Google) and it translates to “comfort of love” but is casually referred to as “(the) alpha comfort” outside of scientific discussions in this universe! Hm, wonder what _that_ could mean...
> 
> Anyway, thank you! I’ll be back soon, I hope! Take care everyone.
> 
> As always, I appreciate the comments and love. And I apologize for any mistakes!


	10. Love Wasn’t What I Thought It Once Was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy comeback day, everyone! Punch is out and NCT 127 is _killing_ it. 
> 
> Usually, these chapters cap out at about ~9,000 but this boy is a bit longer! Some goooooood stuff in here, I think... Inner conflict regarding self, something saucy, a sincere conversation and a confession, and an unexpected person from the past? MAYBE SO!
> 
> The chapter title is from “Honey & I” by HAIM. Also, I am 100% if you put the songs I have been using for titles in a playlist, it will make no sense.

Worrying about the future was something he tried to avoid doing. Taeyong didn’t want to think about what could go wrong in his life. Of course, this had changed the moment he walked into Ishigami-sensei’s office seven months ago. He thought about things that would happen months from now, even years from now, at odd times of the day, the thoughts creeping out from nowhere in particular. He dreamt about different scenarios every other night in detail, wondering which one would come to life.

It left him uneasy. Thankfully, he managed to brush off the feeling his dreams left as he got ready most days, each one busier than the last now. His mother had told him to slow down and as much as Taeyong wanted to, there was so much to be done. Yuta-san would be returning to work the following Monday and Taeyong needed to take advantage of the free time they had.

First, they had begun attending childbirth education classes, signing up for a couple’s course at a birth center Ishigami-sensei recommended. It was nearly a two-month course but Taeyong wasn’t sure if he’d be to attend all the classes since they went up to June, ending around his due date. There were two classes each week and they had already attended the first one the other evening, meeting other couples and their very lovely instructor, Haru-san.

And then Taeyong had spoken to his landlord about Yuta-san’s move. He’d been agreeable if not a bit relieved that Taeyong finally informed him about the person who’d been staying over often, and the paperwork to add Yuta-san’s name to the lease had been done quickly after. Taeyong had looked around and asked for recommendations for moving companies. He found one thanks to one of his colleagues and spoke with Yuta-san about the best move-in date. It would be tomorrow, the day before Ootori-san’s friend went to check out the apartment. Yuta-san and the movers would go to Yuta-san’s apartment and bring everything to Taeyong’s while he was at work. 

Together, Yuta-san and Taeyong planned to go buy some necessary items for the baby over the weekend, after Yuta-san was settled into the apartment. Taeyong ran through lists in his mind on what was needed. During the baby shower, their friends and colleagues had given them very needed things―some diapers, clothes, bottles, blankets, as well as gift cards and certificates for services and such. But they still needed to purchase the larger items. They hadn’t yet decided whether to move everything from the guest room and convert it into a nursery for the baby to use later on or if the baby would sleep in Taeyong’s bedroom for the next few years, as was traditional. And not to mention, Taeyong needed to speak to Yuta-san about where he would sleep moving forward, regardless of where the baby slept.

And then there was Taeyong’s body, changing every day that passed. His back hurt more often and his sleep was fitful, not even Yuta-san’s lingering scent on the sheets was enough to calm him. He needed to go relieve himself more frequently, which was inconvenient at work and in the middle of the night. His chest began to prepare itself for future feeding, swelling a bit more than usual, not enough to make it noticeable but enough to ache a bit.

It wasn’t comfortable. It wasn’t nice. It was so much, too much.

To believe he still had eleven more weeks to go. Could he handle it? He felt he couldn’t. Dear God, he was far from ready to do this. And once the baby came, there was so much more to worry about. What if he couldn’t take care of his baby? What if he hurt his baby accidentally? He couldn’t handle that. 

Then there were things like daycares to choose from when he was ready to return to work. He wouldn’t be able to trust anyone with his baby, not even the best-rated daycare in all of Tokyo. And after that, it would be pre-schools and wondering if his child was okay. What if Taeyong neglected his baby? Would they wonder why Taeyong worked so much; would they feel unloved? He wouldn’t be there to watch over his child. He wouldn’t be able to take care of every cut and scratch, see every drawing, hear every word…

And Yuta-san. Would he ask Taeyong to stay home as to not neglect their child? Would he marry Taeyong and then ask him to become a stay-at-home parent? Would Taeyong be claimed and then made to wear a pretty collar around his neck?

“Taeyong-san.”

Would Yuta-san―

“Taeyong-san.”

He was startled when Yuta-san brought his hand up, placing his inner wrist against Taeyong’s temple. When Taeyong inhaled, it was sweet and he felt soothed, exhaling deeply and pressing himself against Yuta-san’s wrist, wanting more. Yuta-san seemed pleased, a low hum sounding through the silence as Taeyong allowed himself to relax.

“I don’t want to do that to you often,” Yuta-san said, “But you were very stressed and it was a bit agitating.”

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong whispered, opening his eyes and finding Yuta-san’s eyes, his expression hard and unreadable. “I was just thinking.”

“Don’t think yourself into a panic, Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said, finally pulling away. He seemed a bit more serious today than usual. Taeyong had managed to get Yuta-san to laugh a bit in the morning but then Yuta-san had withdrawn a little, working on his laptop without a word. Taeyong hadn’t gathered the courage to ask what was wrong if there was anything at all. “I don’t know what you’re thinking about but whatever it is, I’m sure it’s fine.”

It was unusual. Was this the effect of living together? Did Yuta-san regret this decision already?

“You’re right,” Taeyong said, moving away from him. The air wasn’t tense and Yuta-san wasn’t putting off anything indicating he was upset. He seemed calm even through his scrunched up expression. “I’m going to… do laundry now. Do you have anything? I’ll do yours first.”

Yuta-san’s features relaxed and he shrugged. “Uh, yeah, I think so,” he said, turning back to his laptop. His hands hovered over the keyboard, fingers barely ghosting over the keys, as he thought about it. “In my room, somewhere.”

“Okay,” Taeyong said, pushing himself up off the couch and padding down the hall.

He pushed the guest room door open, immediately enveloped by the warmth of Yuta-san’s scent. It was strongest here. Again Taeyong thought about the rooming arrangements. The most logical thing was to keep the baby in his room and share the bed with Yuta-san as well. If they did that, how long would Yuta-san’s scent remain in the guest bedroom? Taeyong always made sure to keep it relatively neutral for guests. He’d have to buy another scent cleaner to get rid of it if they decided to keep it as a guest room.

Taeyong found the laundry basket beside the dresser. He bent over and hoisted it up, letting out a small groan as he felt his muscles stretch. He carried it up with one hand, resting it on his hip as best as he could, and used his other hand to massage his lower back.

His weight gain seemed to be on track. He had an appointment with Ishigami-sensei next week but for the most part, he had been tracking his weight himself in between the appointments. His belly had significantly rounded out but he still only appeared around five months pregnant at most. But he was seven, nearing eight, months along and the weight of his belly reminded him every few minutes. Each movement seemed to make every part inside his body shift as the baby tried to make themselves comfortable, leaving him winded.

He huffed, taking a few deep breaths. 

Before leaving the room, Taeyong made sure there weren’t any loose clothing items around. After he collected a few stray socks, he left the room, closing the door behind him gently and went to the small closet where the washer was.

He had lucked out getting an apartment with a washer unit installed inside. It was tucked away in a small closet. He used the shelves above the washer to store extra linens and towels apart from some spare cleaning supplies and the laundry detergent. He opened up the lid, setting the basket along the edge of the machine, sighing.

Taeyong thought he was used to it. Yuta-san’s scent was everywhere now, even going as for as lingering in Taeyong’s bathroom, where Yuta-san hardly went. He almost didn’t notice it now and was able to go about his day without minding it until he needed to seek it out. He was surprised that when he grabbed the first clothing item from the top of the basket, a black hoodie with a fading Kyoto University logo on it, he seemed to be pulled in by the scent once again.

The cotton material was soft in his hand. He hadn’t seen Yuta-san wear it so he must’ve worn it to sleep or while Taeyong was at work one day. For a moment, he imagined Yuta-san in it, nice and warm, probably curled up on the armchair, reading or playing on his phone. It was an alarmingly vivid image in Taeyong’s mind.

He was aware it was dirty laundry but he brought it closer, inhaling the strong scent. Apart from Yuta-san’s scent, there was the musk of his sweat and a tinge of something like barbeque sauce. Taeyong was disgusted in the back of his mind, everything screaming at him that this was weird and gross, but it was so enticing.

Another deep inhale sent shivers down his spine. Taeyong wanted to reach for one of Yuta-san’s shirts and smell that one as well but that was overdoing it. He knew that much. As much as the omega in him refused to, he forced himself to put the hoodie in the dryer, shaking away the feeling and continuing to fill the rest of the drum with Yuta-san’s clothes.

He took the detergent and poured some into the small lid, dumping it over the clothes. Taeyong had never been particular about the type of detergents he used but for once he was grateful that his preferred detergent was one of those that neutralized scents and left behind a faint cotton smell. He repeated the process with the matching fabric softener, pulling open the small hatch inside the drum and dumping it inside. He closed the washer and turned it on, hitting the start button and leaving the small closet, the door shut firmly behind him. The sound of the washer cycle starting filled the hallway and spilled out into the living room.

“I’ll put your laundry to dry when it’s done,” Taeyong said once he returned Yuta-san’s basket. Yuta-san didn’t spare him more than a glance and a hum of assent. Taeyong wondered if Yuta-san would think it was weird. Alphas were happy when omegas did that, right? It was a sign that they were preparing the home. And Taeyong was feeling that urge. He needed to go… He needed to… “I think I’m going to the store.”

This was enough to grab Yuta-san’s full attention. “What for?” he asked, already setting his laptop aside and reaching for his phone. “Tell me what you want and I’ll go.”

“No, no, it’s…” Taeyong exhaled deeply. “It’s not―I realized I need some personal things.”

Yuta-san fell back, shoulders slumping. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Taeyong said. He quickly smiled, hoping he was convincing. It wasn’t necessarily a lie but… “Don’t worry. I’ll be quick, and I’ll buy some things for dinner as well.”

“Are you sure?” Yuta-san asked, standing up and coming to stand in front of him. “I can help you carry everything back, at least.”

“I’m sure. I can carry everything back myself, Yuta-san,” Taeyong said, reaching out to place a hand on each of his shoulders. “I won’t take long.”

Leaving the apartment was awkward. They were living together now and it was clear that they felt things towards each other but they toed the line on something Taeyong couldn’t identify. It didn’t feel wrong to leave the apartment without giving Yuta-san a parting kiss but it also didn’t feel right. Every morning when Taeyong left for work, he left in a rush, only giving Yuta-san a quick squeeze on his bicep if he managed to intercept him on his way to the front door, calling out parting greetings. It was unfulfilling but he couldn’t imagine surprising Yuta-san with something so sudden. They hadn’t kissed when departing since that one time. They were much more aware of each other now. If they did kiss now, it would be while being conscious of the situation.

So Taeyong left, not giving Yuta-san enough time to decide if right now was the time to part with a kiss. He said goodbye and slipped out the door, hearing Yuta-san’s goodbye as it closed and clutching his reusable bags to his chest.

It was April now and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, though by the end of the next week, the excitement over them would be gone until next year’s blossoms. There was a certain lightness to the air outside as Taeyong stepped out onto the sidewalk, a hand in the pocket of his thin sweater. It was nice. There weren’t any cherry trees here but the park nearby had plenty and he was sure the pink petals looked wonderful, couples and families having picnics underneath. He wondered if Yuta-san would be interested in something like that. He seemed like the type to be. It almost made Taeyong laugh.

The market Taeyong frequented was about a ten-minute walk away. He entered the store and was hit with the cold air conditioning. He took a cart and wandered further in, wondering what he would make for dinner. He knew he probably had enough ingredients to make something already but he had told Yuta-san he’d buy something. He picked up a few vegetables for simple stir fry and ordered some meat from the butcher in the back of the store, collecting everything in the cart.

He wandered to the other side of the store, where there was no food. Various aisles dedicated to household items, a very small baby aisle, and then the aisle Taeyong was looking for. It was empty as he turned his cart into it.

He skipped over the section filled with different bottles decorated with colorful labels. He went right past the sanitary and hygiene items. He stopped near the end, leaning on his cart as he studied everything on display.

“Nesting blankets, huh?” he asked himself under his breath. He huffed out a small laugh. “Look at me.”

There were various kinds. Some were simple, void of decoration, and in dark neutral colors, while others were bright with vivid types of prints all over them. Different materials as well. The knit and the woven acrylic ones weren’t his style so he only eyed those for a moment. He looked at the afghan and fleece blankets available, reaching out to feel the material. It was nice; most of the throws he had were afghan or fleece.

He wasn’t sure which were best. He’d made himself plenty of nests before but he just used whatever he had laying around. It wasn’t anything special. Some old random throws and the fluffiest towels he had were enough to get him through the start of his heats or a bout of homesickness. But this was different now.

His urge to make a nest now came from being around Yuta-san, from the baby. He wanted to prepare his apartment for the baby and Yuta-san. Perhaps he hadn’t noticed it in all his rush to get things together but he really, really, _really_ wanted to get close to Yuta-san. And the omega in him brought him here, triggered by the soft fabric of Yuta-san’s hoodie and the scent that stuck to it, silently insisting that making a nest would be the best way to go about his feelings. If he made a nest, he would be able to welcome Yuta-san and seek affection, that part of his mind insisted.

There were so many choices. Was there a difference between all these blankets? They were _ blankets_. Feeling overwhelmed by the number of options in front of him, Taeyong turned away, pressing a hand to his chest and inhaling deeply.

His parents struggled with him. Raising his sister had been easy. She was like them; Taeyong was the different one. They tried their best to help him, taking him to the doctor whenever he needed a check-up and finding health classes that could teach him about his body more in detail. It was a common thing in families with lone omegas born into them, sending them off to learn how to exist because the rest of the family didn’t know how to teach them what was needed. Taeyong was never the only boy in them but it was filled with an overwhelming amount of girls most of the time.

“They’ll teach you more than what we can, honey,” his mother told him over and over when he locked himself in his room, refusing to go to the health center for class. “Please just go again this week.”

Taeyong stopped going when he was sixteen, fed up with his parents’ insistence and the way he was born. It wasn’t that he hated the fact that he was an omega but he was annoyed with how much more he needed to do compared to everyone else. Making nests? Doctor visits every six months? Having an entire month of pain to endure? Learning traditional practices and rituals to find mates? It wasn’t fair! It caused his parents and him more stress!

He’d taken responsibility for his health at fourteen but at sixteen, Taeyong decided he’d be an omega the way he saw fit. In his mind, he didn’t need to learn how to nest or do any of the other obnoxious omega practices. He only needed to take care of his health. And that decision was coming back to bit him in the ass fourteen years later.

His attempts at nests had been okay for being someone who never learned how to properly do it but once the baby came he would need to be able to have this down. And if he and Yuta-san ever got anywhere, Yuta-san would be expecting Taeyong to make a nest, even if he didn’t say it out loud.

Good God.

“Sir?”

Taeyong opened his eyes, not realizing he’d gone as far as to lean completely over his cart, head low and eyes closed. He straightened up, his attention on the store employee at the end of his cart. She looked friendly, her thin lips pulled up into a bright smile and her lashes fluttering.

“Do you need help with anything?”

Taeyong blinked a few times. “Oh, um―” His gaze diverted back to the blankets. “Yeah, I think so. Just… I have a question.”

She waited for him to ask. He felt his face warm. It was a little embarrassing admitting he didn’t know the difference between something important like this. He hoped she wouldn’t judge.

“I just―what is the difference between these blankets?”

Her expression didn’t change. Instead, she reached for the nearest blanket, a baby pink minx blanket, and offered it to him. Taeyong took it, fingers running over the soft fabric. “Mostly personal preference. Different people find they enjoy the feeling of a certain blanket more. Some believe certain fabrics hold scents better and longer but it’s mostly just that―a belief. These are very generic brands but some do offer better quality material.”

He spoke with her for a few more minutes, feeling calmer. It didn’t matter, did it? He almost laughed at himself. When she left, he thanked her and took a moment to peruse the shelves. It was a market so the variety was small and the brands were generic as the store employee said. He could buy better blankets and more materials at an appropriate store later on but for right now, these would suffice.

In the end, he picked a blanket with deep green minx on one side and a simple quilt design on the other, some dark blue fleece ones, and two thick brown afghan ones. They were cheap and not hard to carry home in the reuseable bags he had taken with him.

He arrived back to the apartment and pushed open the door. “I’m home,” he called out.

Yuta-san’s muffled greeting reached the genkan. Taeyong took his shoes off and moved further inside. He put the bag with tonight’s dinner ingredients on the table and took the other to his room, wanting to move quickly just in case Yuta-san decided to come out.

He unloaded all the blankets and a few other things he realized he might need on his bed. He sighed as he left his room. Yuta-san was in the hall, leaving the bathroom.

“Hey, welcome home,” he said. “You find everything okay? You took a while.”

“Yeah. It’s fine,” Taeyong said. He motioned for Yuta-san to go down the hall, which he did. Taeyong trailed behind him. “I’ll start dinner soon. I’m going to put your clothes out to dry first.”

“I can do it myself,” Yuta-san said, catching Taeyong by the wrist. “You can start dinner if you’d like. I’ll take care of my clothes.”

For a moment, Taeyong wondered if Yuta-san had caught him sniffing at his hoodie earlier. But Yuta-san didn’t look particularly upset or angry. He looked calm, the same as before. Nothing out of the normal.

“Okay,” Taeyong said, tugging his wrist out of Yuta-san’s grasp. “I’ll start. It’ll be done in about an hour or so.”

Yuta-san, for what felt like the first time today, smiled. Whether something was bothering him, Taeyong still didn’t know. He hoped Yuta-san didn’t close himself off tomorrow. Maybe… Taeyong could get him to smile during dinner. He’d like that.

“Sounds good,” Yuta-san said, “I’ll look forward to your homecooked meal, Taeyong-san.”

* * *

For something that was supposed to be a skill formed from instinct, nesting tutorials were exceedingly common and popular, Taeyong came to find out. Interesting thumbnails pulled him into videos and catchy article titles brought him to various websites. The articles ended up being a bust since many didn’t provide visual examples, their explanations too wordy and confusing to follow, so he resorted to videos. Thousands showed up and many of them had millions of views. They weren’t any more useful than the articles however.

He huffed in annoyance, tossing his phone across his bed, the lady on the screen smiling widely, paused midway through her explanation. Was nesting this difficult? And how were there so many kinds of different nests? It seemed like too much. Taeyong had only known of three types. The rest could not be real. Ridiculous. Maybe it was one of those things people thought made a difference, calling something by a different name for a placebo effect.

The blankets around Taeyong weren’t organized in any particular way. He’d started a video on how to create a “simple nest” but exited out when the lady began to twist and tie sheets and shirts. Simple nest, my ass, Taeyong thought. The rest of the videos he clicked on saw similar results. His search for an easy-to-follow tutorial failed.

Taeyong could almost cry. How was he supposed to do this? He couldn’t even make a nest for himself, much less prepare one for his baby. The horror of Yuta-san finding out crawled up and rested on his shoulders, reminding him of his attempts at relationships past.

_ You’re not a typical omega, are you? You don’t do things as others do… _

_ For an omega, you sure are quite the dominating type, aren’t ya? Can you act more submissive for me? _

_ Ha?! You won’t do it? But an omega must do things like that for an alpha. _

_ You don’t take orders from alphas seriously? Eh, no wonder... _

Someone like Yuta-san deserved a partner that could do these things effortlessly. Even if Yuta-san said he didn’t care, Taeyong knew that some part of him would be sad. After all, he had grown up in a well-off home. Things like this were highly expected between partnerships like theirs. Was Taeyong going to become the kind of person he least wanted to be, the kind that submitted and did whatever it took to please to an alpha? No, but he wanted to be better at this, if not for Yuta-san, for their baby.

He laughed, the sound coming out watery. His eyes filled with tears and he angrily rubbed his fist over his face, huffing a few more times.

“I have to do this,” he muttered, sniffling and looking around at the mess of blankets.

They smelled like cinnamon and pine but it wasn’t from Yuta-san. He had found artificial scents near the various medicines and vitamins for omegas in the store. They were meant for scenting, scent hiding, and people who had scent cravings. Taeyong had sprayed the blankets with them but he found the cinnamon too strong and the pine lacked something. It was unsatisfying. Cheap artificial scents couldn’t compare to the real thing but asking Yuta-san was out of the question.

How could Taeyong approach Yuta-san and ask him to scent the blankets so he could nest? Yuta-san would be agreeable but it was odd since they weren’t mates. Right?

Frustrated, Taeyong reached for one of the fleece blankets and balled it up, burying his face in it and inhaling. Too strong, not enough. He was going to get nowhere.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed that way but soon there was a knock on his door and before he could tell Yuta-san to not come in, the door was already opening and he was peeking in. He seemed surprised, whatever he was about to say dying on his tongue, lips parted slightly. His eyes were wide.

“Taeyong-san?” He stepped into the room, closing the door behind him quietly. “What is that smell?”

Taeyong’s face was warm. He dropped the blanket in his hands and looked around, trying to find something to focus on that wasn’t Yuta-san. He settled on the corner of his nightstand. “It’s an artificial scent,” he admitted. It would be worse if he lied. Yuta-san would be hurt and it would be embarrassing for Taeyong. “I was trying to do something.”

“What kind of scent is this? It smells horrible. Is this a craving like the lemons?”

At this, Taeyong snorted. “It’s supposed to be you.”

“Me?” He heard Yuta-san come closer and then from the corner of his eye, Taeyong saw him climb onto the bed. He kept a small space between them. “Hey, I can’t smell myself but if this is how I smell, I’m glad about that. It’s no wonder no one wanted to date me in high school.”

Taeyong finally looked at Yuta-san. He had a small smile on his face. His attention was on the blankets on the bed, hands running over the material. “It isn’t close to how your scent is, don’t worry,” Taeyong said. “The real thing is much better.”

“Is it?” Yuta-san hummed. “Why didn’t you just ask me? You didn’t have to go out of your way to… do this.”

“I have to admit I…” Taeyong cleared his throat. Yuta-san would find out one way or another. It was best to be upfront about it. “Well, I was trying to nest and the blankets are new so…”

“These right here?” Yuta-san said picked one up and brought it to his face, eyes fluttering shut. He inhaled deeply. It made Taeyong nervous. When Yuta-san pulled back and opened his eyes, he smiled. “Well, I guess the artificial stuff doesn’t catch well on the material. These just smell like you.”

Yuta-san took the balled up blanket and unraveled it, carefully pulling it around his shoulders. Taeyong knew this alone would be enough to catch Yuta-san’s natural scent. A natural scent would hold much stronger than something artificial. He reached for it, hands awkwardly hovering over where Yuta-san’s were. “Yuta-san, that’s not―you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s fine. I want to do it,” Yuta-san said, holding onto the blanket a bit tighter. “I’ll do all the blankets and then you can nest.”

“That’s, that’s―”

“I wouldn’t have said no, you know.”

“I know.” Taeyong licked his lips. It was now. He had to tell him now. “I just―I don’t know how to nest properly so… I didn’t want to ask you and then make a shitty nest.”

“You d―what?” The tone was far from what he expected. Yuta-san looked a little confused, eyebrows furrowed and head tilted to the side. He blinked a few times. “Huh… Well, that’s okay, isn’t it?”

Taeyong relaxed a little but his shoulders remained tense. “Is it?”

“No one is perfect. I’d be happy with any nest made by you. Is that―” Yuta-san licked his lips, “―Is that not obvious? I don’t care for those things, Taeyong-san. If it’s you, I’m grateful.”

“I knew you’d say something like that, Yuta-san.”

Yuta-san laughed, taking Taeyong by surprise. “You know me well then! I’m glad,” he said. He smiled and turned his attention to the remaining blankets. His expression was soft. Taeyong wondered what he was thinking. “I may not know but I can try to help. If that’s okay with you.”

“Help me?”

Yuta-san looked back up and met his eyes. “We can learn together.”

Taeyong was reluctant to agree but he did when Yuta-san made it clear he wasn’t going to leave Taeyong’s room. While Yuta-san collected the blankets and wrapped them around himself, Taeyong remade his bed. He turned on his scent cleaner to clear the artificial smell from the room as he tidied up. One thing he had picked up from the tutorials was that it was easier if the nesting area was clear and clean.

“Would it be better if I brought some of my clothes?”

“That’s not necessary, the blankets are enough,” Taeyong said though his mind did drift back to Yuta-san’s Kyoto University hoodie for a moment.

Once everything was cleaned up, Taeyong began to take the blankets from Yuta-san. He watched Taeyong intently, burning a hole into Taeyong’s back as he moved around the bed.

“How do you usually nest then?”

Taeyong sighed as he rolled up the blanket and placed it along one edge of the bed. “Usually, I just wrap myself up. It’s only me after all. But now it’s―”

“Us,” Yuta-san interrupted. “I think you should put it further in.”

“Huh…” Taeyong did as Yuta-san said, agreeing that it was better than way.

They continued to build something that sort of resembled the nests in photos online. Yuta-san was helpful, offering his suggestions kindly. Taeyong allowed him to make some decisions but also felt a bit more confident when he turned down the suggestions. It wasn’t all that much better but this was something that could be for both of them.

After half an hour, they had finished. Taeyong admired their handiwork for a moment. The thicker afghan blankets seemed to make the perimeter. The fleece blankets were placed here and there over the bed. Taeyong had brought in some softer linens, realizing they needed much more than he thought. It looked a bit messy, some sheets balled up and others spread out. It was a decent attempt. 

“Let’s get on and try it out,” Yuta-san said. He still had the minx blanket in his hands. He carefully climbed back onto the bed and settled on one side of the large nest. “Oh! This is comfortable. Taeyong-san, come on.”

Taeyong got on, laying beside Yuta-san. It was comfortable. It could be a bit smaller maybe. The linens were nice but it could be warmer. Some thicker blankets would be better. “It’s nice,” he said.

“Eh?! That’s your final grade on our nest?”

Taeyong turned onto his side to face Yuta-san. “It’s not warm enough.”

“I have the last blanket. Here, let me put it over us.” Yuta-san covered them up and Taeyong hummed in content. “Is this better?”

“Better, yes,” Taeyong said. Yuta-san was so close. Taeyong could see the slight stubble forming over his chin this close. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything if you think about it. It was all your work, Taeyong-san.” Yuta-san grinned. “Thanks for making us such a nice nest. I’ve never been in one before.”

“You haven’t?”

“Maybe when I was a baby. My mom used to ask my aunt to make nests for us but after a certain age, it stopped. I can’t remember. But other than that, I’ve never been in one, much less had someone make one for me.”

“This is not for you specifically,” Taeyong mumbled. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself.”

“Then… in the future, make me one.”

“Absolutely not.” Taeyong tried to turn but Yuta-san’s hand found his hip, resting there and holding him in place. A smile threatened to form on Taeyong’s face. “Make your own.”

“Taeyong-san, that’s not fair.” Yuta-san leaned in, pressing a kiss to Taeyong’s cheek. Taeyong’s face was warm where he kissed and he felt the urge to turn away but he couldn’t. Yuta-san fell back onto the bed, removing his hand, his head landing on one of the balled up linens. Taeyong realized how much of a pain it’d be to iron them later on. “Well then, in the future, make many nests for us three.”

“I’ll try my best,” Taeyong said, turning onto his back and looking up at the ceiling.

“Say, Taeyong-san,” Yuta began, “Do you know the purpose of these?”

“Nests? Of course.”

Suddenly the blanket was pulled away and Yuta-san was up, sitting across Taeyong’s thighs. Taeyong pushed himself up, leaning back on his elbows to stare at Yuta-san. His hands fell on Taeyong’s stomach, thumbs tracing circles over his shirt.

“What in the world are you doing?”

“Aren’t we going to―”

“No!” Taeyong exclaimed, realizing what kind of nest Yuta-san thought this was. “We are not! Yuta-san, I’m sorry if I misled you but this is just a… regular nest. I have no other intentions of doing anything else.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Yuta-san said, a blush crawling over his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears. He got off Taeyong and sat at the bottom of the bed, near his feet. “I misunderstood.”

“It’s fine, just―come back up here. You don’t have to worry about it.”

Yuta-san complied, laying beside Taeyong again. He didn’t look too embarrassed anymore. He looked a bit disappointed though. Taeyong wondered if he had been that excited.

They hadn’t done anything extremely intimate since Taeyong was in heat last year. Last week, Yuta-san had helped get him off before bed as he promised he’d do; they’d never gone further than that in their times together. The closest they had gotten to having sex in recent months was on Valentine’s Day, which truly couldn’t count in Taeyong’s mind, and that was nearly two months ago. With how busy they were, Taeyong was able to push his needs aside most days to focus on everything else. The urges had also begun to go away gradually.

But it was true that Taeyong would enjoy it. Would it be wrong of him to give in if he wasn’t feeling it? If it’d made Yuta-san happy…

No, he thought. He wouldn’t have sex with Yuta-san just to please if he wasn’t in the mood for it. But if he was beginning to get into it…

He had not made a nest with that intent, but he could easily change how he felt. The thought of Yuta-san and him fucking in a nest he made had not come to mind but Yuta-san had planted the seed. Had this been part of a plan? Likely not; Yuta-san wasn’t _that_ sneaky. Taeyong fell into an accidental trap, beginning to burn with hot arousal at his navel.

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong said, reaching up to grab the front of Yuta-san’s hoodie. It was a red Kyoto University hoodie, he noticed belatedly. He pulled Yuta-san in, almost close enough to kiss him. “If you want, we can do it.”

He heard the way Yuta-san’s breath caught in his throat. He gently pulled Taeyong’s hand away, interlocking their fingers instead. “Taeyong-san, it’s fine. I’m happy just being here like this.”

“You say that but you seemed so excited a minute ago.”

“Are you trying to tempt me?”

“Is it working?”

Yuta-san was up again, moving over Taeyong and hovering. It was a bit odd since Taeyong’s stomach didn’t let him rest comfortably but he managed. He entrapped Taeyong’s wrists, pinning them down against the sheets. His eyes were wide and a heavy breath escaped him. “Of course it’s working. It’s you, Taeyong-san.”

Before Taeyong could ask what he meant, Yuta-san was leaning in, lips kissing along his jaw, down his neck. It surprised him and he let out a small sound, almost like a yelp. Yuta-san didn’t seem disturbed, only continuing, moving back up to Taeyong’s face. He pecked him on the lips.

“Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t if I didn’t want to,” Taeyong answered. “Just be careful.”

“I will be,” Yuta-san said but Taeyong wasn’t sure he knew what he’d said. It seemed his attention had drifted, his eyes moving down from Taeyong’s face to his neck and even lower. Yuta-san let his wrist go but his hands came up to pull his shirt up.

It used to be an oversized shirt but it had gotten a bit more snug around his stomach. As it was pulled up, the cold air hit his bare skin and Taeyong gasped. Yuta-san continued to tug it up and when it was up by his armpits, Taeyong raised his arms and closed his eyes to allowed Yuta-san to pull it over and off.

Yuta-san had seen him naked more than enough times but Taeyong’s body had gone through even more changes since then. He’d gained weight, stretch marks forming along his belly, and his pecs had swollen up, rounding out to a softer, more breast-like shape. Still, Yuta-san had a look of amazement on his face. The tips of his fingers ghosted over his sides and Taeyong jumped at the touch.

“You are very beautiful, Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said, his voice shaking just above a whisper.

It made Taeyong’s heart pound hard in his chest. Yuta-san had only called him that once before in his memory. Taeyong couldn’t remember a time when someone else said that to him with such sincerity in their voice. His family told him often but that was a different kind of sincerity. This was… romantic.

The feeling was enough to get Taeyong more excited, more of his blood rushing down. He huffed out a short breath. “T-thanks,” he said dumbly.

“You just lay there… I’ll take care of you.”

And Yuta-san did. He removed his hoodie first, Taeyong realizing he wasn’t anything underneath, and tossed it aside before bringing his hands back to palm at the front of Taeyong’s pants. After a minute, he tugged down Taeyong’s pajama pants slowly, removing them completely and tossing them aside. Taeyong followed the item with his eyes as it flew through the air and over the side of the bed. Next, Yuta-san moved to his briefs, where his cock was already beginning to strain against the fabric. Yuta-san pulled at the waistband for a moment and then tugged down hard, Taeyong’s erection coming up to curve along the bottom of his stomach. He gasped loudly and nearly yelled when Yuta-san’s warm hand wrapped around his cock.

Yuta-san removed his hand for a moment and then returned it, newly wet with something he imagined was Yuta-san’s spit. Taeyong fisted the linens on either side of him as Yuta-san began to stroke, slowly as first and then building up a decent rhythm. Taeyong panted and whined when Yuta-san’s thumb brushed over the tip. He opened his eyes and looked down. He could see Yuta-san’s concentrated face but his stomach blocked out his hand. He couldn’t bring himself to sit up on his elbows, feeling weak.

This was what they usually did. Yuta-san never expected anything back but Taeyong always insisted. He wanted to see Yuta-san in pleasure, too. When it was done, they washed up separately and relaxed until they fell asleep. But tonight was going to be different.

“You’re, uh―Taeyong-san, are you producing slick right now?”

“Mhmm, I―I am,” Taeyong managed to say.

He could feel himself tense up, clenching his ass to prevent it from coming out but after one particular touch from Yuta-san, he let go and he felt it begin to slide out, trickling down his skin. His body always produced a small amount of slick when he was aroused but it was more now, the stimulation and the promise of real sex sending him into a hazy state of mind.

“I’m going to―” Yuta-san’s other hand moved to rest on Taeyong’s thigh. He shifted himself so he was sitting between, pushing Taeyong’s legs open. Like this, more slick came out. “Tell me if it hurts.”

Yuta-san raised Taeyong’s left leg a little, gathering some of the blankets to help keep it up. Once he did that, his hand moved down and Taeyong jumped as he felt it get close. He took a few breaths to relax and Yuta-san teased for a moment to make sure Taeyong was ready.

He pushed his finger in and Taeyong moaned, clutching onto a blanket and pulling it over his face. He almost stuffed it in his mouth to keep from making sounds but Yuta-san stopped him.

“I want to see your face. Take it off.” His tone was hard, allowing no room for argument. Taeyong could only oblige, removing the blanket and looking toward Yuta-san, whose face he could barely see over his round belly. “Just like that. Let me see your face.”

Yuta-san began to move his finger, making another lewd noise escape Taeyong. It felt amazing. He turned his finger just so and Taeyong’s toes curled, a high-pitched moan coming out of his parted mouth in combination with a cry of Yuta-san’s name.

The amount of slick coming out, slipping around Yuta-san’s finger, was overwhelming now. It had been too long since Taeyong had been done like this; his body was getting overstimulated, trying to hurry and prepare for a knot. Yuta-san was undeterred and he continued to finger him and stroke his cock. After a few minutes, Yuta-san added a second finger, making Taeyong freeze. When he got used to it, Taeyong tried to push down onto Yuta-san’s fingers. Yuta-san clicked his tongue, staying still.

He was oddly quiet but when Taeyong managed to open his eyes and looked at him, he found an intense expression on Yuta-san’s face. He could only describe the look as hunger. His lips pulled into a tight line but his eyes were dark and there was nothing but desire in them. It was chilling. Taeyong tossed his head back, his back arching a little as Yuta-san finally began to move his fingers again.

“Yuu―ah! Oh!” Taeyong cried out, gasping as Yuta-san thrust his fingers in and out. Taeyong could feel the way the ends of his nails grazed over his muscles inside, making him shake. He bit his bottom lip, humming in delight.

He knew that Yuta-san’s arousal was pulling him in, tricking his mind into submission. But Taeyong didn’t need to be tricked to know. He would accept it wholeheartedly. Taeyong wanted it. He needed it. He tried to grab at something, anything.

“Yuta, Yuta, just―just fuck me n-now,” he said. He didn’t want to come just with Yuta-san’s hand. Not again. “H-hurry, Yuta-san!”

Yuta-san removed his fingers hastily, wiping them on one of the fleece blankets near him, and stopped his movements. Taeyong laid there, panting. He watched as Yuta-san pulled down his pajama pants. He kicked them off frantically and repeated the same thing with his briefs. His cock curled up, the tip already pearling with pre-come and red from lack of attention.

“Taeyong-san, I―I want you to ride me,” Yuta-san breathed out as he came back up to lay beside him. He didn’t give Taeyong a chance to answer, taking his face and leaning in to kiss him hard on the lips before pulling away. He licked his lips, splitting the string of spit between their mouths. “If that becomes uncomfortable, I could always mount you but…”

Taeyong waited.

“I want to see your face.”

Yuta-san helped Taeyong up. Taeyong felt gross as slick continued to come out of him, staining the sheets and blankets around them. He sat up and moved a leg over Yuta-san’s thighs. He felt Yuta-san shiver underneath his weight.

Yuta-san kept a steady hand on Taeyong’s waist and used the other to hold Taeyong’s hand. He was gentle despite the hot want that came off his body, the cinnamon strong enough to burn at Taeyong’s nostrils. As they got closer, Taeyong felt their cocks touch and he jolted, an arm coming to wrap around Yuta-san, fingernails digging into his back. He wanted them closer to feel that friction harder than before.

Warm lips mouthed at the base of Taeyong’s neck, sending waves of pleasure down his body. He felt Yuta-san suck hard at the skin after moving down a little to a spot near his collarbone. He’d be able to hide it for work tomorrow. 

They spent a while like this. At one point, Taeyong’s free hand came between them, taking both of their cocks and clumsily stroking at the same time, pressing them against one another. Breathy gasps echoed in Taeyong’s ear and his own gasps fell onto Yuta-san’s hot, sweaty skin. He’d managed to leave bruises blooming along Yuta-san’s shoulder and collarbone. He wanted to avoid the neck for now. They both did.

Eventually, Taeyong’s hand was not enough and Yuta let go of his hand to swat Taeyong away and grab his cock. Taeyong pushed himself up onto his knees, nearly falling back down against Yuta-san’s thighs when he felt the head of Yuta-san’s cock ghost his inner thigh as he adjusted them. He grabbed onto Yuta-san’s shoulder tightly, shaking.

“Lay back,” Taeyong said, wrapping his fingers at the base of Yuta-san’s cock. “I got it.”

Yuta-san did, falling back onto the sheets and blankets. He kept a hand on Taeyong’s waist, letting it rest there weakly, the ends of his fingers barely reaching him. His other hand fisted at the sheets at his side.

Taeyong moved Yuta-san’s cock and raised himself a little higher to hover over Yuta-san’s waist instead of his thighs. He took a moment to breathe and then slowly sat down, feeling the slight ache of the stretch as Yuta-san’s cock pushed into him. He choked on his gasps as he continued to push down on Yuta-san, falling forward. Yuta-san’s free hand came up to rest on the other side of his waist, grip tightening to keep him up. Taeyong’s hands fell into the spaces between Yuta-san’s arms and his abdomen, near his armpits. He held himself up, trying to calm his shaking breaths.

He felt the way his belly and cock rested over Yuta-san’s stomach. If he weren’t pregnant, he would be able to lay flat over Yuta-san, allowing no space between them. He’d be able to kiss Yuta-san and leave more marks along his golden skin. He huffed, pushing himself back up.

It took a moment for the discomfort of the intrusion to subside but when he sat up and rocked back, he moaned, tossing his head back. His toes curled once more. He ground down, hoping to feel it deeper. When it didn’t work, Taeyong twisted his hips this way and that. At this, Yuta-san let out a loud groan, fingernails digging into Taeyong’s skin.

He felt Yuta-san push up into him and he hummed. Taeyong continued to move, starting to move up and down in a small bounce. His knees were starting to ache from where they were digging into the bed on either side of Yuta-san’s hips but he didn’t stop. And he couldn’t help but clench around Yuta-san’s cock, which earned him more satisfied moans from Yuta-san. He felt Yuta-san’s hand disappear from his waist and move back to his untouched cock. Yuta-san found the rhythm Taeyong had set and stroked him in tandem.

It was overwhelming. With the dizzying smell of cinnamon in the room, Taeyong felt tears prick at his eyes. He propped himself up with his arms, his hands on Yuta-san’s thighs right behind him, fingernails clawing into his skin. Yuta-san hissed but Taeyong couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge it. He was lost in his pleasure, grinding down on Yuta-san’s cock, speeding his movements up.

“Taeyong, I’m going to—!” Yuta-san breathed out, “I can feel my knot coming. G-get off.”

Absolutely not, Taeyong thought. “It’s fine,” Taeyong replied, his voice sounding sultry in his ears. He wondered how his pheromones affected Yuta-san. Just because an alpha could force an omega into submission didn’t mean an omega couldn’t do the same right back. “Trust me.”

“A-ah!”

Taeyong felt Yuta-san’s cock swell and it no longer allowed him to move. The warmth of his come made him gasp and with a few more strokes from Yuta-san, Taeyong was also coming a few minutes later, white and hot over Yuta-san’s hand and both of their stomachs. He shuddered, feeling his arms begin to give way, as more of Yuta-san’s come filled him.

“Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san gasped, holding him up. “Come on, come on. We can switch so you can lay down.”

It was a bit awkward, Taeyong’s slick and come dripping over more of them as they turned, Yuta-san’s cock still inside him. He also felt the wetness of the sheets they were on, the slick from earlier getting on his knees as he shifted about. Some even got on his back once he was able to lay back.

Yuta-san made himself as comfortable as he could between Taeyong’s legs, hoisting them up a little. “It should be, uh, only about fifteen minutes,” he said, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Okay,” Taeyong exhaled. He tried to get a bit more comfortable but found it useless. There was no way they’d be comfortable for the next fifteen minutes. He sighed, feeling exhausted.

“Are you okay?”

He looked at Yuta-san. “I’m okay, thank you. Are you?”

“I’m fine. I’m sorry if I made you do something you didn’t want to.”

“Yuta-san, I wouldn’t have if I didn’t want to. I told you that already.”

“Right, right. But still. In the future―”

“It’s always the future with you, huh?” Taeyong snorted, eyes leaving Yuta-san and moving to look at the ceiling. He hummed, thinking about it. The future… “You see yourself being with me a long time?”

“Of course,” Yuta-san answered immediately. “I can’t help but think about it. I mean, a lot of it is the baby and such. There are many things to think about for the future regarding the baby but I also think about what the future holds for us, just you and me.”

So Yuta-san thought about the future. Did he think about it as Taeyong did? Dream about it? Wonder which terrifying scenario would ruin their lives and panic? He pushed the feeling away.

“That sounds like a proposal again,” Taeyong joked instead. He wouldn’t allow himself to think bad things; he was pleased from being fucked and he wouldn’t let himself bring the mood down.

“It’s not this time. I said I was bad at timing but I’m not oblivious to it.” Yuta-san laughed and Taeyong felt something delightful bubble up in his chest. It came out as a laugh, joining Yuta-san. “I’d never do something important when we’re like this.”

More of Yuta-san’s come warmed Taeyong’s insides and he sighed in pleasure. He felt Yuta-san’s fingertips moved along his thighs, tickling him. He bit back a laugh, only shuddering in response.

They sat in silence for a while. It wasn’t awkward though.

“Say, Taeyong-san, you called me by my name earlier.”

“Did I?” Taeyong asked, staring at the ceiling again. “I don’t remember.”

“You said, ‘_Yuta, Yuta_!’ Just like that,” Yuta-san said, his voice a bit nasally and high-pitched as he imitated Taeyong. Taeyong nudged him with his knee at his silly impersonation of him. “Try it.”

“Yuta, huh?” Taeyong hummed. “Yuta… Yuta... No, I don’t like it. I can call you Yuta-kun.”

“That makes it sound like I’m a kid coming from you. Call me Yuta.”

Taeyong grinned. “I am older than you.”

“Hardly enough to make a difference. We’d be in the same grade if we were in school.”

“Well, okay, _ Yuta_, for me… Taeyong is just fine. I heard you call me that earlier, too.”

“Taeyong.” Yuta-san sounded far too happy. He shifted around and then began to pull away. Taeyong felt a bit empty as Yuta-san’s cock slid out of him. The come inside began to drip out, trickling down his skin. It was warm and sticky as it stained the sheets. Yuta-san came up to lay beside him despite the mess they made and pulled the minx blanket over them. It had only gotten a little dirty, surprisingly. “Taeyong―it sounds cool, doesn’t it? Taeyong, Taeyong, you’re so wonderful.”

Taeyong brought a hand up to cover Yuta-san’s mouth. “Quit it, Yuta-san.”

Yuta-san pulled his hand off, holding it and slipping his fingers in between the spaces. Taeyong didn’t close his hand around Yuta-san’s. “Eh? So sudden, we’re back to where we started?”

“It’s a habit. I don’t know how you can switch so easily,” Taeyong teased. He finally gave in and closed his hand around Yuta-san’s. Yuta-san brought their joined hands to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of Taeyong’s hand. He kept their hands there, his lips grazing Taeyong’s skin. “You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?”

“Of course I have,” Yuta-san said. His tone took Taeyong by surprise. He’d been joking but Yuta-san’s response had been filled with a high and uncharacteristic amount of softness, the teasing tone from moments ago gone. “I really like you, Taeyong.”

“Hey, Yuta-san, that’s―”

“Do you like me, too?”

“Yuta-san―”

“Tell me, Taeyong.”

Taeyong closed his eyes.

Every part of Taeyong said yes. If Taeyong didn’t, he wouldn’t be in this position. If he didn’t, he probably would have taken his chance to leave in November, after the party. He’d have gone through this alone, with only his friends and family. Taeyong could be stubborn when he wanted to be and if he truly didn’t think Yuta-san was worth it, he would have never answered the door the night Yuta-san came to apologize. He would have disappeared from Yuta-san’s life. But he didn’t. No, instead of that, he had welcomed Yuta-san back into his life, giving him more room to make himself at home. He allowed Yuta-san to make himself… home. 

Home and Yuta-san. Were they synonymous now? Somewhere along the line, had Taeyong allowed Yuta-san to become a person, a place where he felt most comfortable and at peace? Yes, he thought. There was no doubt.

Baby aside, Taeyong’s feelings filled his body with something akin to fire. It had been hard to distinguish before, not knowing what was him and what was the baby, but when he thought about it, the answer was the same. If he wasn’t pregnant, would Taeyong feel this way about Yuta-san? This want and need, sometimes so gentle and warm and other times so violent it caused his entire body to shake… Would that ache for him still course through his body as strong as it did now?

God, yes, yes, _yes_, Taeyong would feel the same. There was no scenario where he’d feel any other way. He couldn’t imagine meeting Yuta-san and not coming to feel this way. There was so much about him, all the little things he did and said, that Taeyong admired. It’d be hard to not love Yuta-san.

Yuta-san’s hand was warm against his cheek, his thumb running over his cheekbone. “Taeyong?”

Taeyong opened his eyes and found Yuta-san staring at him. He had never seen Yuta-san look so vulnerable. He couldn’t be sure if the tears at his waterline were part of his imagination or real. But it was this. This was it. The words, the look… Taeyong finally felt two hands on his back, pushing him forward. Falling was terrifying but if it was Yuta-san sending him over the edge and catching him at the bottom, Taeyong would let himself fall a million times. 

Taeyong spoke, not wanting Yuta-san to think of his silence as a rejection. “I do.”

“You―”

“I like you, Yuta.”

The kiss Yuta-san gave him was filled with sweetness, clouding Taeyong’s senses. Yuta-san pushed himself up, holding himself up with his elbow, and leaned over Taeyong’s body, his other hand still holding his face gently. Their lips moved slowly, soft sighs swallowed by the other.

Yuta-san was the one to pull away. “I feel like I waited for a long time,” he said, a small laugh fanning across Taeyong’s mouth. “It’s only been a week since I said I’d wait forever.”

“You waited longer than that though. Since our visit to Osaka?”

“I think, much longer actually.”

“Much longer, okay. You didn’t fall in love with me at first sight or anything, did you? That’d be ridiculous.” Taeyong chuckled but when Yuta-san didn’t answer and his expression grew serious, Taeyong gaped. He pushed Yuta-san away and back onto the bed, sitting up to stare down at him. “Yuta-san, no!”

“I thought you were pretty from the start!” Yuta-san defended, sitting up as well. Taeyong could see the blush run down his neck to his chest, only disturbed by the hickeys he’d left. “Okay so maybe I didn’t fall in love the moment I saw your picture but―”

“Then when?” Taeyong interrupted, bringing his gaze up again.

“When I came here around Christmas? Or at least, that’s when I realized it.”

“Huh… is that so?”

“It’s weird,” Yuta-san said with a sigh. He fell back onto the bed, splaying his arms out. Taeyong looked back at him, watching his expression change from something light to something more serious again. He held onto the minx blanket over his lap, waiting for Yuta-san to continue. “I piss a lot of people off. I’ve lost a lot of friends because of it. When I make someone mad, I can be fine with never talking to them again. But after our argument, I realized I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Because of the baby?” Taeyong asked. He carefully settled back down, automatically moving to Yuta-san’s side. He rested his head on Yuta-san’s bicep and Yuta-san’s brought his hand up, carding his fingers through Taeyong’s hair. He leaned into Yuta-san, humming in content.

He was feeling more vulnerable tonight so he’d allow himself to indulge in his wants. Cuddling after sex was normal and it would be weird if he refused, especially while they had a conversation like this. Yuta-san seemed content as well.

“The baby is the obvious reason, isn’t it?” Yuta-san huffed but it turned into a sigh. Taeyong wondered how heavy his thoughts were resting on his shoulders. Yuta-san had held onto these feelings for a long time now. “I enjoyed our dates and wanted to get to know you. And when you told me you were pregnant, I was happy. I liked spending time with you and we were starting a family together. It was quick but I was determined to enjoy it. But even that resolve can weaken, can’t it? Alone, I don’t think my determination to make a family of us could’ve been a strong enough reason to form any sort of lasting relationship with you if we didn’t want each other in the end. I wouldn’t abandon my responsibilities since I’m committed to being a good father but if we didn’t work out after that argument, for the sake of our baby’s happiness and our own, we could have lived separately. We could have gone on that way for the rest of time. But we didn’t because I realized some things about us… about myself. And I came to find you that night.”

“You were hesitant,” Taeyong said, remembering how awkward their December appointment had been. He recalled the urge to seek Yuta-san out and comfort him, welcome him with open arms. And when he showed up at his door…

“I was terrified that entire month,” Yuta-san whispered. “I was _shaking_ when you let me in that night. I had so much to say and what did I say? ‘I want to say I’m sorry’? What kinda bullshit is that?”

“You realized how you were wrong and that’s all I wanted in the end. I couldn’t ask for more, though maybe an apology from your co-worker would be nice. I’d accept a late one.”

Yuta-san laughed and Taeyong felt how his body shook with the sound. He pressed himself a bit closer to Yuta-san, resting his cheek against his shoulder, the sound of his laugh echoing in his ear.

“That guy was shitty. He quit over winter vacation and there was a rush to replace him. I missed the mark when judging his character. God, I feel horrible I defended him for even a second in front of you. I spoke to him after our argument and he said some horrible things, thinking I’d agree with him. Hearing him just say your name filled me with anger. I would’ve been fired if I acted on my thoughts.”

“Thank God you didn’t,” Taeyong said. He turned his head and kissed Yuta-san’s shoulder. “Thank you for considering getting fired for me.”

Yuta-san snorted but leaned in, nosing against his temple before moving back. “I don’t think I would’ve minded one bit,” he said softly. “I think I realized that I really liked you around that time. I had this need to go find you and so many times, I almost did. I couldn’t let go of you even though I had let go of so many people before. I needed to see you and be with you.”

Taeyong smiled against Yuta-san’s skin. “I’m _that_ enticing?” He laughed at himself, enjoying the feeling that filled his body. He brought an arm up and rested it across Yuta-san’s abdomen, tickling at his other side. Yuta-san let out a laugh of surprise. “Also, couldn’t that have been the alpha part of you wanting to see me?”

“Maybe. But I still really like you, you know, outside of that attraction.”

“Maybe, huh?” Taeyong sighed, trying to get closer to Yuta-san. The sweat on their bodies had dried but he still felt sticky and Yuta-san also felt sticky. The slick and come was beginning to dry as well, creating a very uncomfortable layer over his skin. It was disgusting but he could stay this way for a little longer. He’d also been waiting, right? “I suppose it’s my fault I made us both wait.”

“Nah, I told you I’d wait forever, remember?” Yuta-san said. He moved around and Taeyong’s head shifted to rest on the right side of Yuta-san’s chest. “If it’s you, I can wait.”

“There’s no need,” Taeyong whispered. His head moved with the rise and fall of Yuta-san’s chest. Like this, he swore he could hear the rush of Yuta-san’s blood running through his veins underneath his skin and he was sure that if he tried his hardest, he’d be able to hear the beat of Yuta-san’s heart as well. “We can be serious from now on.”

“Is that a proposal?”

“Quit it,” Taeyong said but there was no bite to his tone. “I’ll take it back.”

“Don’t do that,” Yuta-san sighed. “I want to be serious with you from now on. No more waiting. If you’re ready, I want us to be in this together for a long time.”

“Who’s proposing now?”

“I am. Do you accept?”

“Absolutely not,” Taeyong said. He bit on the inside of his cheek. “But we can start to live as―you know…”

“Are you getting shy? Finish your sentence. I want to hear it, please.”

“You’re being difficult again.”

“Fine, fine.” It was light and airy. Taeyong didn’t need to look up to know Yuta-san had an obnoxious smile on his face. “Something like boyfriends? That sounds juvenile. We’re thirty-years-old and we have a baby on the way.”

“We don’t have to call it anything, Yuta-san,” Taeyong said, laughing quietly. “As long as we both know, it’s fine.”

“Then how am I supposed to introduce you? Don’t you like the sound of, ‘Hello, this is my _boyfriend_, Taeyong’?”

“I hate that.” Taeyong thought about it. It was a bit ridiculous to be thinking so thoroughly about a label. It didn’t matter. They were _together_ together now. Two individuals had acknowledged their feelings for each other and were together, romantically. Many labels could fit that so what did it matter? Taeyong sighed. “Partner? You’ve been saying that, so just stay with it.”

“Fiancé,” Yuta-san offered.

“No! Yuta-san, that’s not… just introduce me as your partner. You think some stranger we’re meeting for the first time is going to care? If we appear together, that’s enough to satisfy them.”

“Okay, _partner_,” Yuta-san said. “Does this mean we get to do this more often?”

“Do what?”

“Have sex.”

Taeyong laughed. “You can be rather crude sometimes. You can use a euphemism to fit the mood, you know,” he said, earning a small chuckle from Yuta-san. “If we’re together, that means we can do anything, right? If we both are okay with it, that’s fine.”

“I’ll follow your lead, Taeyong-san,” Yuta-san said.

“Eh? ‘Taeyong-san’ again?” Taeyong pushed himself up a little to look at Yuta-san but Yuta-san was smiling. He leaned in and kissed him, taking him by surprise. “What was that for?”

“I’ll do that more often so prepare yourself,” Yuta-san said. He kissed Taeyong again and again and again and again, speaking in between each word. “Morning―departing―returning―good night.”

Taeyong raised his arm from where he had it across Yuta-san’s body and placed his hand between their lips, letting Yuta-san kiss his palm. “What are you talking about?”

Yuta-san looked truly happy and it made Taeyong’s chest tighten painfully but it was a good kind of pain. Exactly how long had he let himself push his feelings aside for? And why? Taeyong knew he had a lot of insecurities. His past experiences left him with wounds he was afraid to accidentally open again but if it was Yuta-san beside him, it would be fine, right?

“I’m talking about all the kisses I’m going to give you, Taeyong.” Yuta-san pulled his arm out from under Taeyong’s head, pushing himself up. The mattress dipped as he moved, throwing a leg over Taeyong’s body so he was over him, knees and hands holding him up. “I’ll kiss you all those times and even more. When I’m feeling happy, when _you’re_ feeling happy―when we’re both happy, together. And I’ll kiss you when you’re sad to cheer you up. When something good at work happens! And when we have sex, I’ll kiss you everywhere. In―”

Taeyong brought a hand up to cover Yuta-san’s mouth. Yuta-san stopped, allowing him to speak. “You’re too bold, saying something like that,” he said, trying to seem serious. The fluttering of his heart gave him away as he was certain Yuta-san could hear it; if he couldn’t, the heat that spread across his face certainly did. Taeyong wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve to be in such a position. “You can’t make promises you can’t keep, Yuta-san. What if I come to expect all these kisses? Can you deliver?”

A certain resolve formed in Yuta-san’s eyes, clearly willing to rise to the challenge. Taeyong removed his hand for Yuta-san to speak again. “I vow to fulfill my duty as your partner,” he said. The words were too ridiculous for him to use such a serious tone, and Taeyong had to hold back his laughter. His enthusiasm and sudden dedication to their relationship were endearing and alarming at the same time. How Yuta-san was able to act like a young, spritely twenty-something-year-old lover at this age was beyond him. “Taeyong?”

“Yes?”

“I’m feeling _really_ happy right now.”

“And that warrants a kiss, right?”

“It absolutely does.”

Taeyong smiled. “I’m happy, too.” He moved his hand to rest along Yuta-san’s jaw. He felt awed as he saw how Yuta-san leaned into his touch, eyelashes fluttering and kissing his lower eyelids. “And I want to kiss you right now, too.”

Yuta-san wasted no time closing the space between them.

Taeyong still needed to shower and clean himself off. The blankets that made the nest needed to be cleared away. It was late and Taeyong had work in the morning. Yuta-san needed to prepare to meet the movers and pack everything up before the afternoon.

The future was filled with many things.

But they could worry about those together later. For right now, they could stay like this.

* * *

Shopping for the baby had been pushed back. Instead of the weekend Yuta-san moved in, they decided to wait until the next Friday, after their appointment with Ishigami-sensei in the late afternoon. The appointment had gone smoothly. Even though it was the 32-week appointment and there was no need for it, Taeyong asked for an ultrasound. They got to see their baby and hear their quick, thumping heart after so long of not having seen or heard them. It managed to take Taeyong’s breath away again.

The prints of the ultrasound were snug in the pocket of his bag. He also had his Maternal and Child Health Handbook in there, newly filled out section with Ishigami-sensei’s notes about the appointment for future reference. Yuta-san had offered to carry the bag but Taeyong insisted on holding onto it. It was a backpack but smaller; it was fine.

He was dressed comfortably, having changed out of his work clothes before they left for the Ishihara Clinic. Yuta-san was also dressed down, ditching his suit for a tee-shirt and jeans. It was nice to be out and about on a Friday evening. Tokyo was bustling with people preparing for the weekend, groups of high school students crowding into local restaurants and salary workers disappearing into karaoke bars for the night, everyone relieving the stress of the week.

Yuta-san had returned to work on Monday and while he seemed to be enjoying his new students, Taeyong could tell he was a bit stressed out already. He couldn’t imagine being a teacher was anything easy, especially a teacher to teenagers. They could be menaces.

He hoped that this small trip out would ease some of the stress Yuta-san felt. They’d both been looking forward to this after all.

There was a baby store not far from the Ishihara Clinic. Taeyong had visited a similar store by the apartment earlier in the week to collect some more nesting blankets in smaller sizes, appropriate for making a baby’s nest, and he’d looked around at the larger items like buggies and cribs but hadn’t found anything he liked there. Together, they could decide on things like that now.

The store was large and had different sections. They were greeted by an employee but declined her help, wandering off together. They moved to the transportation items first, looking at the bulky strollers and more simple prams they offered.

“Well, what do you think?” Taeyong asked, looking at Yuta-san.

“It’s overwhelming,” he replied. He eyed the tag of one of the display pushchairs. “God, are they this expensive?”

Taeyong peered down at it. It was a ridiculous price but when he looked at the stroller, he huffed. “Yuta-san, this is meant for _ two _ babies. We only have one. Of course, it’s going to be more expensive; it’s much bigger.”

“Oh!” Yuta-san laughed. “Okay, let’s keep looking.”

They looked around and read the different descriptions for each kind of buggy. Taeyong had tried to research what kind was the best but different people said different things so as long as he thought it was best for their baby, it would be fine. They decided on a simpler one so it wasn’t too bulky. It didn’t have the detachable car seat since they didn’t think they needed one.

“Would you like a car though?” Yuta-san asked after they had flagged down an employee and asked about purchasing the item. “It would be easier than walking.”

“Most people don’t have one, it’s okay. If we need a car in the future, we can look into it. For now, this will do. We won’t be leaving the house too often, you know.”

“Of course.”

Yuta-san wrapped an arm around his waist. It was natural but Taeyong still felt his face grow warm. In the last week, Yuta-san had been more open about his affections and when Taeyong was feeling particularly brave and happy, he allowed himself to seek chaste kisses and touches from Yuta-san. The transition from not being a couple to being a couple was quick and made them both excited. For a long time, they had been holding back but now they could touch and tease as they pleased. It wasn’t an awful lot of affection but enough. He found it less awkward than he thought it would be. Of course, in public, affectionate displays were different.

When the store employee returned, Taeyong moved away from Yuta-san, his hand falling from his waist. The employee had a clipboard in her hand, some sort of order form on it. She explained that they could deliver so they didn’t have to take the large box on the train or have someone come pick it up.

“If you’d like, I can help you fill out the order form while you continue to browse around. Or will this be your only purchase today?”

“No, we’re going to look at a few more things. Thank you.”

The three of them moved to the cribs and bassinets. She explained the differences between them, showing them the ones on display. Taeyong and Yuta-san had discussed the rooming situation over the week. Sharing a bed every night was still too much for Taeyong and Yuta-san respected that, suggesting they continue their nightly time together in Taeyong’s room; he would continue to go to the guest room to sleep for now. But they decided to slowly begin sharing a bed over the next few weeks as their excited feelings about becoming a couple faded. That way, when the baby was born, the three of them were comfortable together. Taeyong’s room was spacious but a large crib wouldn’t fit and the baby wouldn’t need that for a few months. A bedside bassinet was what they chose and what the employee put on the order form.

Through the next hour, they also found a small dresser and a highchair to have delivered. They filled the rest of the form out, putting the apartment address and their names. She let them continue shopping after that, telling them that she’d be at the register when they were ready to pay for everything.

Yuta-san and Taeyong moved to the blankets and clothes, grabbing a cart and beginning to fill it up. They chose some patterned ones and solid-colored ones in neutral colors like green, brown, and yellow. There were cute bath towels that Yuta-san insisted on getting. Taeyong looked through the clothing sets and bodysuits, picking some he liked.

Seeing the items in the cart made it so much more real. Taeyong knew that he was going to have a baby in about two months and there was proof―his body showed his state very well and they had the printed sonograms in their journal, something the looked through and wrote in it every day―but apart from that, there was nothing else to indicate a new family member would be arriving. Soon, the apartment would be full of baby clothes, bottles, diapers, and blankets. And the _baby_.

His heart pounded in his chest and he felt his hands begin to shake as he dropped a packet of plain white bodysuits into the cart. “I think…” He licked his lips. “This should be enough for now, right?”

Yuta-san eyed him for a moment, seeming to sense his distress. “We can come back for more things later,” he said, voice soft. He came around the cart and took one of Taeyong’s hands in his, the other coming up to his hold his chin. Yuta-san looked him in the eyes and then moved his hand up, resting his inner wrist against Taeyong’s temple, making Taeyong relax. “Don’t worry. We can go now.”

“Thank you,” Taeyong said. He smiled, tugging Yuta-san’s arm down and holding onto his hand weakly. “We can look at bottles and toys before we go. Maybe we won’t buy toys but the bottles we could have.”

They made their way to the different sections. Despite his words, Taeyong picked a few small things. Soft toys for teething and rattles were okay to have now, he supposed. Yuta-san picked some sensory books and toys though he eyed the larger items meant for toddlers.

The feeding section was large and a bit overwhelming. There were things like pumps and different children’s dishes, coming in character sets. Taeyong studied some of the pumps. Ishigami-sensei said he might begin to produce colostrum but given the fact that he was a male, natural feeding would be more difficult and maybe something he wouldn’t be able to do. Taeyong would have to revisit that later.

For now, the plan was to stick with formula and bottle feeding. They studied the different kinds of bottles. They wanted small ones. The baby wouldn’t need more than a few ounces for a while. As they picked some different ones and studied their labels, a few people came and went from the aisle.

Another couple and their child remained a few steps away, looking at the bottles and sippy cups for bigger kids. The young girl was jumping up and down, trying to grab at some of them. Taeyong didn’t pay them much attention, looking at the different color options offered before him. The bottles were mostly the same; he supposed it was about preference.

“Rumi-chan, which character do you want in your cup? Look, they have lots of Sanrio characters.”

He froze at the sound of the voice. It was smooth and deep, deeper than he remembered. His tone was affectionate and happy. Taeyong raised his head and peered around Yuta-san, finding someone that had been so familiar once in his life. Fuma.

He looked away, trying to turn his attention back to the bottles but it didn’t work. He reached for a three-pack, putting it into the cart, not really seeing what he had grabbed. Yuta-san looked at it and frowned.

“Eh? Taeyong, are you sure you like these?”

The sound of his name caught Fuma’s attention. Taeyong saw Fuma look over from the corner of his eyes, realization spreading over his face.

“Taeyong-san?” he asked, his partner looking their way as well. The small girl held onto his hand as he stepped closer, repeated Taeyong’s name. In their time together, Fuma never called him this way since the both of became overly casual with each other early on. Of course, that was no longer the case. “Taeyong-san, is that you?”

“Taeyong, you know him?” Yuta-san asked quietly, eyeing Fuma.

“It’s been a long time,” Taeyong said, carefully stepping around Yuta-san and the cart. He felt Yuta-san grab onto his hand, their fingers interlocking. “How are you, Fuma-san?”

“Oh, it is you,” Fuma said. A smile formed on his face, the lines around his mouth and eyes were more prominent than he remembered. He seemed genuinely happy to see Taeyong. “It has been a while, hasn’t it? We haven’t talked in years, have we?”

After they broke up, Taeyong had promptly removed Fuma from his friends and following lists on social media and blocked his number. He doubted Fuma would try to contact him; he was the one who broke up with Taeyong in the first place. But after Taeyong graduated from university, he and Fuma had followed each other again and sent sincere congratulatory messages. He was able to push Fuma to the back of his mind after that, feeling some closure. Taeyong didn’t use social media often anyway and when he did, if he came across something Fuma posted, he read it quickly and scrolled over it.

That was how he found out Fuma had gotten married five years ago. It had hurt, bringing everything back. Taeyong had still been in the phase of going out and getting drunk with Jaehyun. He was twenty-five, single, and pathetic; Fuma, married. It was a chillingly reminder of their relationship and its end. Shortly after that, nights out started feeling horrible.

Taeyong had never seen Fuma post about having a child but she looked to be a few years old already. She tugged on Fuma’s shirt, quietly asking him to introduce them.

“Ah, Taeyong-san, this is my daughter, Rumi, and my husband, Kento,” Fuma said, taking Rumi’s hand. She stepped forward and greeted them quietly. “She can be a little shy.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Rumi-san, Kento-san,” Taeyong said, smiling at Rumi and then Fuma’s husband. He seemed nice and whether or not he knew who Taeyong used to be to Fuma, he didn’t seem bothered. He returned the greeting with a grin. Taeyong felt Yuta-san squeeze his hand and he jumped, looking at him. “Ah, uh―this is my partner, Yuta-san.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Yuta-san said, smiling at them. It didn’t seem to reach his eyes and for a moment, it faltered. When Yuta-san looked down at Rumi, however, his smile was real. “Hello. You’re very cute, Rumi-san.”

“Thank you!” she exclaimed, puffing up her pink cheeks and moving back to hide behind Fuma’s leg.

“What a coincidence that we’d meet here of all places after so long,” Fuma said, catching Taeyong’s attention once again. He saw Fuma’s gaze was on his stomach. “How… sorry but how far along are you?”

“I’m thirty-two weeks now,” Taeyong answered. He found it surprisingly easy to speak. When he thought about it in the past, he had expected to have a tense interaction when meeting Fuma again. But it was nothing of the sort. The memories did return but Taeyong was fine otherwise. He had long let go of Fuma. “Sometime around June, we’ll be parents.”

“Congratulations,” Fuma’s husband said, offering a smile. 

“Yes, congratulations! We wish you luck, Taeyong-san, Yuta-san,” Fuma said. He looked down at Rumi. “Did you think about which one you wanted?”

“Yes!” Rumi answered.

Fuma gave her hand to his husband and he led Rumi back to pick the sippy cup of her choice. Taeyong watched with a smile on his face as Rumi excitedly told her other dad what she wanted from the shelves. He was happy Fuma had such a lovely family; he deserved it.

“We’ll be going first,” Fuma said, smiling. In the past, Taeyong would have felt his heart flutter but it didn’t. “Take care.”

They said their goodbyes. Taeyong waved to Rumi and Fuma’s husband with a smile. They left, a few new sippy cups in Rumi’s hands. When they turned the corner of the aisle, Yuta-san huffed.

“I didn’t like him. Who was that?”

“He was my ex-boyfriend,” Taeyong said, looking at Yuta-san. He realized he’d never told Yuta-san much about his past, much less people of his past like Fuma.

There was a deep frown on his face. He scrunched his nose up, sending Taeyong a glare. “You went out with _that_ guy?”

Taeyong brought a hand up to hit Yuta-san’s chest. “Don’t talk badly about someone you don’t know, Yuta-san. He was nice and still is. Don’t be jealous.”

“I’m not but that guy… he was looking at you too kindly, and you were looking at him, too!”

“Should I have closed my eyes when talking then?” Taeyong laughed when Yuta-san glared at him again. “I wasn’t looking at him any kind of way and he wasn’t looking at me in any kind of way either. Come on, let’s go pay these things.”

Yuta-san said nothing more but he still seemed a bit bothered. They went up to pay for their items and their order for their other thing was also paid for. They would be delivered over the next few days. Yuta-san insisted on carrying all the bags and Taeyong let him. He poked a bit of fun at Yuta-san as they got on the train and while Yuta-san was baited by some of his teasing, he remained quiet.

It wasn’t until they were in the apartment and Yuta-san was setting the bags on the dining table did Taeyong realize Yuta-san was probably feeling seriously hurt. He took Yuta-san by surprise, hugging him from behind as best as he could. He rested his cheek in between his shoulder blades and then moved up to nose at the back of his neck. Yuta-san shuddered and his hands came up to hold Taeyong’s over his stomach.

“Are you really mad?” Taeyong asked, his voice muffled by Yuta-san’s tee-shirt. He kissed the back of Yuta-san’s neck, knowing that it would make him relax. Yuta-san sighed and then he was turning in his hold. When he was facing Taeyong, he brought his hands up to hold his face.

“No but I’m sad,” he said, running his thumbs across Taeyong’s cheeks.

“Why?”

“That guy dated you when you were―when did you guys date?”

“We were nineteen and we broke up when I was almost twenty-one,” Taeyong answered.

Yuta-san’s face fell. “He got to date you at such an innocent age! Taeyong-san, of course I’m jealous and sad. He got to know you then.”

He had been far from innocent when he dated Fuma but Yuta-san did not need to know that right now. “What does it matter? You know me now, Yuta-san.”

“But he saw a younger, cuter you. I want to know that side of you, Taeyong-san. I want to know all of you.”

Taeyong smiled despite the overly sad tone in Yuta-san’s voice. “You have plenty of time to do that. Now come, come.” He brought his hands back to Yuta-san’s front, grabbing onto the fabric of Yuta-san’s shirt, pulling him closer. “If you have to kiss me when I’m sad, I have to kiss you when you’re sad, you big baby.”

Yuta-san eagerly met his kiss halfway. It was a short kiss but enough to cause the slight distress in Yuta-san’s scent to fade away. Taeyong went to move back but Yuta-san pulled him in again. His hands moved up from against his cheeks to over his ears, fingertips curling in his hair. Taeyong hummed, his grip on Yuta-san’s shirt weakening. He laid his hands flat against his pecs, trying to push himself against Yuta-san even more. There was some space still between them because of Taeyong’s stomach but it was fine.

Taeyong pulled back again, patting Yuta-san’s chest. “There,” he said.

A brilliant smile crossed Yuta-san’s face. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure I’d feel the same,” Taeyong assured. He couldn’t even imagine coming across someone who used to date Yuta-san. What kind of person would that be? It made his insides twist at the thought of it; he felt he better understood Yuta-san’s feelings about coming across Fuma. “But you don’t have to worry about that. The past is the past.”

“You’re right,” Yuta-san replied. “You’re always right, Taeyong.”

Yuta-san pressed their foreheads together and Taeyong closed his eyes, sighing contently.

“I have so much time to get to know every part of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone, _please_ tell me you notice the anime characters, J-pop idols, and Japanese actors/actresses whose names I use in this fic because there are so many of them.
> 
> Also, for those that might be curious (and for those who don’t give a flying fuck!): instead of speaking Korean, in this fic Yuta-san and Taeyong speak only Japanese with each other! Even between Taeyong and Johnny/Doyoung/Jaehyun, I imagine they would speak only Japanese (esp. Taeyong and Doyoung) or at least switch between the two languages _a lot_. When writing dialogue, I like to think about how it would sound spoken out loud in a real conversation between fluent speakers like they are in this fic (I am not a fluent speaker but I am trying to be one day!) So when our lovely Yuta-san said he _really_ likes our Taeyong, he has professed his love as deeply and profoundly as a normal Japanese person can. As you might know, the phrase “I (really) like you” in Japanese can hold just as much feeling as “I love you” in English! So if the confessions seemed a bit lackluster, think about it in terms of the language and culture they are surrounded by! I imagine a real, sincere, and passionate “I _love_ you” moment is well on its way but who knows? Definitely not me! :D
> 
> Furthermore, just for shits and giggles, both Taeyong and Yuta-san speak formally and informally with each other but are leaning towards being more casual in recent chapters, and while pronouns are typically implied in Japanese, when they do say them, they use _boku_/_kimi_, which are “I” and “you” respectively, when referring to themselves and the other. If not using _kimi_, they use each other’s names but never _anata_ or _omae_. On occasion, Taeyong uses _watashi_ in casual convo due to the fact that he was taught that way in a traditional classroom. And Yuta-san definitely forgets how to Speak Properly™ and starts using _ore_ in conversation instead of _boku_ sometimes; I chose this because he seems to do it in real life (almost certain he uses it with/around his family and he has switched around when speaking Japanese in his lives) and I just know in this fictional universe, Yuta-san was a hardcore _ore_ alpha boy growing up. It would be a hard habit to break! Taeyong doesn’t mind it though he would never use _ore_ himself. His Japanese, like Taeyong’s speaking in real life, has a “cuter” and softer sound to it, albeit here it is much more toned down given his age—but wait for drunk Taeyong! _That_ Taeyong definitely sounds much cuter (like at 1:20 [here](https://youtu.be/oI9InmTAb84) he speaks rather cutely and the _yoshi yoshi ne~_... he is baby!) and he’d probably go for more childish ways of saying words, like _sunge~_ instead of _sugoi_. His accent has faded by this point but when he’s drunk, it comes right back and he’s a cute baby (see his pronunciation of _hontōni arigatōgozaimasu_ at 0:42 [here](https://twitter.com/ttyong95/status/1213413460236632065?s=21); it is so cute to me, gah!) And while I’m at it, just for fun, have [this](https://twitter.com/486_113/status/927055612214624261?s=21) and think about it... 
> 
> I like to imagine these things happening in their speech when writing dialogue. Anyway, I got a bit carried away! Sorry my excitement over some dumb words and speech patterns get the best of me sometimes. I care too much about it and put so much thought into these small details nobody knows about just to satisfy myself! And this has concluded my linguistic headcanons for these characters in this universe, LOL
> 
> Onto better news, my semester has wrapped up, so I will be writing much more and (hopefully) updating more frequently! I hope some satisfaction was brought to some of you from this part! I feel like it was a bit rushed but nevertheless, they are together now. But not everything is perfect just yet so watch out...
> 
> Thank you all once again! I will be back soon with a new chapter. I appreciate all the comments and kudos, as always. Please excuse my mistakes! Stay healthy and safe, everyone (and stream Punch now, if you can)! Much love, <3


	11. Baby, It Don’t Mean We’ll Stay Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back with a new username, totally inspired by Taeyong-san in this story here. I definitely struggled writing this much more than I thought I would. Apologies for the wait! I hope it’s okay.
> 
> And oh... you thought Yuta-san’s dad was going to be the bad guy in his family? Compared to the last chapter, this one is a bit rocky. I would like to give my formal apologies to Taeyong for putting him through these things. Thankfully, he has his Yuta-san with him LOL also a surprise (but maybe not) will be revealed in this chapter!
> 
> The chapter title is taken from “We Belong Together” by Vampire Weekend.

Taeyong was already feeling antsy and it hadn’t been a full day since his leave had begun. He knew that the person he’d chosen to take over his responsibilities was great. Morisuke-san was someone Taeyong trusted wholeheartedly and while Morisuke-san wouldn’t need it, Doyoung promised he and Shiori-san would jump in to help him if they needed to. There was nothing to worry about. All Taeyong needed to do was relax and focus on himself until the baby came.

But the baby wasn’t coming until_ June_. April wasn’t even over. He had almost insisted on working until the end of May but he knew no one would consider it. The rules were the rules and he had the next six weeks to himself. If he were someone that enjoyed a lot of other activities, maybe it would have been fine but Taeyong very quickly realized most of his life revolved around work.

He had no outside projects he worked on. He wasn’t interested in many things. In his free time, he worked or prepared for work. He mentioned this to Yuta-san in the morning as they finished breakfast but Yuta-san had no solutions.

“I’m sorry, Taeyong,” he said as he collected his things to go. He was only half-paying attention to him by that point. Taeyong knew he was nervous. He had mentioned that his first class of the morning would be observed by one of the directors of the school board. Yuta-san walked around the table and took him by the shoulder, leaning in to quickly kiss his lips, a small smile on his face despite the tenseness across his shoulders. “A walk in the park, maybe? I think my mother is in Tokyo to see one of my cousins. Give her a call and she can keep you company if you’d like. I know you’re on better terms now, right?”

“Yeah. Okay,” Taeyong said, trying not to pout too much.

Yuta-san left after giving him another kiss, Taeyong wishing him luck. The apartment had fallen quiet after that. He’d taken to cleaning up the table and washing the dishes. After that, he’d done laundry, including the new baby clothes they bought the past Friday. He pruned dead parts from the plants around the apartment and watered them. And once the wash cycle was done, he hung the clothes out to dry on the balcony. 

That had taken a bit of his time but now he was left with nothing to do and it wasn’t anywhere near noon. He tried to sit and read a book but it wasn’t interesting. Mindlessly walking around the apartment in search of anything to tidy gave him nothing. He even tried to play a game on his phone but his eyes hurt after a few minutes.

A walk would distract him, he finally decided. Collecting his things, he left the apartment and made his way to the street. It was warmer now so he had dressed lightly. The walk to the park was nice. The streets were a bit empty, only a few people leaving the other apartment complexes and others going in and out of the businesses nearby. He stopped by the convenience store to get himself a water bottle and something to eat.

As he approached the park, he sighed. There were small children running around in the empty dirt area, their parents watching from some benches or standing nearby. The playground in the corner of the lot was busy as well, loud yells and laughter sounding out into the blue sky. Taeyong found an empty bench a bit away from the commotion, underneath the shade of a big tree, and caught his breath. While the walk had been short and he enjoyed the fresh air, he was a bit winded.

He settled back and drank some water, looking out into the park. It was a small park that had little else except the playground and the benches. He could’ve made the walk to Kichijoji Park but considering how breathless he felt already, this was as far as he’d go. Some older ladies were walking around in their activewear, gossiping with each other, and every few minutes, a couple of salarymen walked past, likely taking a stroll during their lunch break. 

It reminded Taeyong that everyone at work would be going on to lunch soon. He wondered how Morisuke-san had done today. There wasn’t much to do but collect each team’s projects and begin preparing for the final report of the month. It was an easy job and Morisuke-san had done it before. Taeyong had asked him to take over several times when he was absent during his heats. Shiori-san had done it and Doyoung as well. His work was in good hands.

And still, he kept thinking about it. He couldn’t call anyone to distract him either. His friends were working. Even his sister and parents were working at this hour. It wasn’t even noon yet. In a few hours, he could ask Christie to keep him company since she had fewer hours and ended her workdays earlier now but it would be a hassle for her to bring the twins across the city. He could always go to see her but he knew she would insist on coming to avoid having him strain himself too much.

There wasn’t anything relaxing about this. If anything, he felt more stressed. What was he supposed to do?

For a moment, he entertained calling Yuta-san’s mother. If she was in Tokyo, Taeyong was almost certain she’d be happy to stop by. They talked here and there but things were still a bit awkward after their visit to Osaka in January. Even if she hadn’t reacted negatively to the pregnancy, Taeyong felt some hesitance. He remembered overhearing Yuta-san’s conversation with her that night but it wasn’t enough to gauge how she felt about him.

Taeyong’s parents would be coming to Japan around the due date and staying for a week after the baby was born. His sister and her family would come closer to Taeyong’s birthday to celebrate and meet the baby. Yuta-san hadn’t mentioned his family coming up from Osaka but Taeyong knew his sisters would come, at least. If Yuta-san explicitly invited his mother, she’d come, too. But Taeyong wasn’t sure about Yuta-san’s father. He seemed severely opposed to their relationship still.

It hurt, in all honesty. Taeyong hadn’t meant to drag Yuta-san into such a situation and trap him if that’s what the rest of the Nakamoto family thought he’d done. He’d never do something like that. His feelings for Yuta-san, while confusing at first, were sincere and he wanted a serious future with him and their child.

He recalled a name. Mimura-kun.

Taeyong had never mentioned he’d overheard the conversation to Yuta-san. He had forgotten the name altogether but sitting here now, it repeated over and over in his mind. Who was this Mimura-kun? Taeyong imagined a nice, respectable young man with a gentle smile who graduated from a prestigious university, and also was, last but not least, an omega―he had to be something like that.

It wasn’t like Taeyong to compare himself to others but there was nothing different between him and this Mimura-kun. Wasn’t he already all of that? Shouldn’t he be enough for Yuta-san? Mimura-kun… What made him so special that Nakamoto-san wanted Yuta-san to marry him?

Perhaps Nakamoto-san only wanted to keep Yuta-san within the class that suited him. If this Mimura-kun was some kind of legacy omega that came from a wealthy family, maybe Taeyong would understand. But if he wasn’t, then he failed to comprehend why he couldn’t be accepted as Yuta-san’s partner.

With a huff, Taeyong pulled out his phone and called Yuta-san’s mother. Maybe he could get some answers and he could use the opportunity to get closer to her. He wanted to be accepted by Yuta-san’s family. When the baby was born, he wanted to have all of Yuta-san’s family come and meet the newest Nakamoto. And when he and Yuta-san married, he wanted Yuta-san to have his entire family there to celebrate.

She answered after a few rings and he held his breath. “Taeyong-san?” she asked. She sounded surprised. He heard some mumbling and then she spoke again, “Are you there, Taeyong-san? Ah, maybe it was an accidental call…”

“Nakamoto-san, hello,” Taeyong said before she hung up. “Sorry to bother you.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes, everything’s alright.” Taeyong cleared his throat, looking over the park again. “Yuta-san said you were in Tokyo and I wanted to invite you to lunch if you had time.”

“Oh!” There was a pause. “That would be lovely. Where were you thinking?”

In the end, they decided to have lunch at the apartment, Taeyong giving her directions from Kichijoji Station. After hearing he was on leave, she insisted on bringing over something to eat. She was in Rokubancho and she didn’t want Taeyong to take the train all the way there. Taeyong accepted, knowing that he would feel out of place in a neighborhood like that. He promised to pay her back for whatever she bought since he had invited her after all, but she only laughed and told him it was fine before hanging up.

Taeyong made his way back to the apartment. He changed into something more comfortable yet appropriate to receive guests. He wasn’t sure what Nakamoto-san preferred but he had coffee and tea to prepare, and he made sure to check that he had a snack to offer with each drink. He tidied again, just to ensure nothing was out of place. As he did, he turned on the scent cleaner, not knowing how Nakamoto-san would feel about the mixed scents in the apartment.

She arrived about an hour later. Taeyong heard a knock on the door and he hurried over, opening it and greeting her. She was dressed rather nicely. In Osaka, her clothing was more comfortable and casual but now, she had on a deep blue dress that cut off at her knee and wore black heels, her makeup and hair done, and a luxury purse over her shoulder. In her hand, she had a bag from a restaurant Taeyong didn’t know but the smell coming from it was delightful and familiar.

“Please, come in,” Taeyong said.

“Pardon my intrusion.” She stepped inside and took off her heels. Taeyong bent down and reached for a pair of new guest slippers, placing them by her feet. As she put them on, he saw her pedicured toes through her pale pantyhose. “Thank you.”

“I’m very glad you could come,” Taeyong said as stood and led her to the main room. She wasn’t looking at him but around the apartment, her eyes curious. It made him nervous. “I’m sorry to trouble you.”

“You don’t have to speak so formally with me, Taeyong-san,” she said, finally turning to him and smiling. It was friendly but he was still wary. “Now, let’s eat, shall well? I’m sure you’ll like this.”

The two of them set everything she brought out. It was Korean food, surprisingly, but it explained why the smell was so familiar to him. He wasn’t sure if she had done it on purpose or not but seeing familiar dishes was nice. When he cooked, he made various kinds of things but after so many years of being in Japan, he got used to common Japanese foods. He always had kimchi in the fridge, especially now as it seemed to be the thing the baby wanted him to eat, but there was little else in terms of food he’d grown up with. It’d been a long time since he had or made something like tteokbokki or buchimgae, and the smell reminded him of home.

“Say, what is the name of this dish in Korean?” Nakamoto-san asked, motioning to the buchimgae.

“Bu-chim-gae,” Taeyong said slowly, Nakamoto-san’s eyes on his lips, mouthing along silently.

“Is that so?” She eyed the food for a moment before repeating the word a few times. Taeyong smiled as she stumbled over the syllables. “Ah, it’s no use. I’ll keep calling it chijimi but please teach me more Korean words in the future, Taeyong-san.”

“Of course,” Taeyong promised.

They ate and spoke about the baby. Yuta-san didn’t relay much information to his parents, it seemed, as Nakamoto-san didn’t know anything about recent developments. She asked about his weight gain and was pleased to hear it was on-track, expressing her concern since he still looked rather small. It couldn’t be helped, she said in the end, since he was a naturally lean man. Her excitement seemed to have increased since the last time they had spoken, which was near the start of April.

Her smiles were genuine and once they finished cleaning up, she was more than happy to look through the journal he and Yuta-san kept, reading all the entries and admiring the few sonograms they received. Taeyong wasn’t sure if it was his imagination but he thought he saw tears in her eyes as she flipped through the pages. Her tone was softer now, as she told him she looked forward to meeting the baby in June.

She was a kind woman, he thought. During their stay in Osaka, Nakamoto-san had been nothing but welcoming. Taeyong wondered if they could become closer starting now.

“Thank you,” he said as he brought a tray with teacups and snacks to the main room.

He set the tray down, moving the teacups and the plate with senbei to the coffee table. Nakamoto-san reached for her cup, taking a sip as Taeyong returned the tray to the kitchen. He took the armchair when he returned and despite having turned on the scent cleaner, the air around him smelled like Yuta-san. He almost smiled, realizing Yuta-san was in this spot so often, there was no erasing his scent from it.

Taeyong reached for his cup, pushing it aside and focusing on Nakamoto-san. “Yuta-san is very excited, too,” he said.

Nakamoto-san clicked her tongue. “That boy,” she said, a small scowl on her face, “He thinks that just because he lives all the way up here, I won’t nag at him anymore.”

He laughed a little. It reminded him of his mother. She called him every few days now, chastising him for working and stressing out. She was pleased now that he was on leave and would be staying home for the next few months. In their last conversation, she mentioned having sent him some gifts he might like. He was sure it would be something he could’ve gone without but he was appreciative nonetheless.

“Thank you for inviting me, Taeyong-san. Yuta only mentioned moving in with you and said nothing else about it so we were worried about where it might be. It’s nice to see where you live,” she said. Taeyong knew she didn’t mean to sound rude or condescending yet he felt she was judging him a little. “Kichijoji―what a wonderful place for a family.”

Unsure of how to answer, Taeyong reached for one of the crackers and munched on it, hoping she wouldn’t press on about it. He’d lived here for a while now, having upgraded when he was promoted, but even before, the neighborhood he’d lived in was fairly decent for families and couples. He’d always kept such thoughts in mind, enjoying cozier and nicer areas like that. He was happy that Yuta-san moved in with him. This was a good place for families and he could see them living in the area for the foreseeable future. But if Yuta-san’s family didn’t think it was good enough, he wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t think Yuta-san was thinking of moving either.

Thankfully, Nakamoto-san let the topic go. However, what she asked next seemed to be even worse.

“And when do you plan on getting married to Yuta?”

Suddenly, it was like the Nakamoto-san that had tears in her eyes over the sonograms and smiled at him sincerely was gone. The switch was quick and almost too natural. He felt how the air around them changed, the lightheartedness from earlier gone and replaced with something heavy and uncomfortable. Taeyong froze, staring at Nakamoto-san. She was waiting for his answer, manicured nails tapping against the side of her teacup, the light clicks filling the air. He swallowed what was in his mouth and set aside the rest of the cracker, taking a sip of his tea and shifting in the armchair to get more comfortable. But comfort was the last thing he would find right now.

“In all honesty, we haven’t spoken about such things in detail,” he said slowly, looking down into his cup. He felt her eyes on him and he became nervous again, nearly shaking. Keeping his eyes down, he spoke much quieter than before, “But I’m confident in my feelings towards him.”

“Well, you must’ve been if you ended up bringing Yuta into this kind of situation.”

He nearly flinched at the tone of her voice. She was implying it and confirming Taeyong’s thoughts. They thought he had trapped Yuta-san into being with him, didn’t they? Taeyong was at a loss for words. If they truly believed that, he knew it would take a lot to prove he hadn’t meant any harm. He hadn’t met with Yuta-san last year in search of anything. He didn’t want anything from Yuta-san―not his status, his money, or whatever they thought he was chasing. He didn’t want anything but Yuta-san.

A knot was forming in his throat and his eyes began to sting. He took a deep breath through his nose, swallowed hard, and blinked a few times before setting down his cup. He placed his hands on his knees and focused his attention on the plant in the center of the coffee table, collecting himself.

Taeyong could say a lot of things to Nakamoto-san. He could tell her how much it hurt to hear her say such words. He could confess that he liked Yuta-san sincerely and only had good intentions with him. He could cry about how this situation was unexpected but they both welcomed it, knowing their baby was a blessing. But he said none of that. Instead, he said―

“I’m sorry.”

Nakamoto-san shifted in her place. He looked at her from the corner of his eye. She set down her tea and smoothed her dress over her thighs. Her lips were pulled into a tight line and her eyes were cold, staring at something on the shelves by the television stand. It was nothing like what she had been a few minutes ago. After what felt like hours, she looked at him. “There isn’t much you can do now, is there? At least the child will be an alpha.”

“No, there isn’t,” Taeyong whispered. The tears came back and he wasn’t sure he could hold them back this time. He brought his hands together and pulled the sleeves of his cardigan over them, forming fists and clutching onto the thin cotton tightly. His entire body was tense and he couldn’t bring himself to face Nakamoto-san. “It wasn’t my intention to…”

His voice was weak. It’d been so long since he sounded so weak. Taeyong learned how to be confident and not take anything from anyone but underneath that, he was still who he was many years ago, from a time when he allowed simple words to cut deep and leave nasty scars. He’d been made tougher through his experiences but it didn’t mean he was unbreakable.

“It truly―I sincerely mean… it wasn’t my in-intention to bring him into this situation.”

“No matter,” she said, tone dismissive. He could imagine her shooing him away with a wave of her hand. It only made him feel worse. “Yuta will take care of responsibilities as a father when this is all over.”

Over?

Taeyong finally made himself look at her. She looked unapologetic and he almost turned away again. He didn’t though, wanting to be firm and stand his ground, but his voice still wavered and made him sound unsure. “We are living together seriously.”

She picked up on this. “And marriage is not yet in the cards?”

“It is but―”

“Yuta’s father and I expect it will be before June. You understand that, right?”

Taeyong was left speechless.

Before June? They wanted Taeyong and Yuta-san to marry that quickly? It made something twist in his chest. As much as he liked Yuta-san, he imagined getting engaged and married in such a rush wouldn’t be enjoyable for either of them, despite the jokes they made. They only recently decided to move forward as a couple and although they were excited with such a shift in their relationship, there was still much to learn about each other. They barely had time to enjoy each other as lovers before the baby came as it was now. They wouldn’t be able to live as newlyweds and new parents.

“Your job is respectable and I admire your dedication but you’ll be staying home for the first two months after the baby arrives. It would be appropriate to prepare to live as Yuta’s husband as soon as possible and consider continuing that way.” Nakamoto-san didn’t pause, not even when Taeyong let out a sound of protest. “We own a second beautiful house in Osaka. Being near family would be beneficial for both Yuta and the baby, don’t you agree?”

She wanted him to leave his job and have them move to Osaka as well? Mentioning this after offering a so-called compliment about his home felt cruel. Taeyong didn’t know what to say. This was turning out worse than he ever imagined. Every single fear he had was becoming a reality. Nakamoto-san was much different than he originally thought and getting close to her seemed like a faraway dream now.

“Of course, if you don’t think you are capable of doing so, you are free to visit the child when you please.”

Taeyong stared at her. “Visit?” he asked after a long minute of silence. “You can’t―”

She couldn’t possibly want to take their baby away from him. He would never allow it. Yuta-san would never allow it. This baby was theirs and they would remain with him and Yuta-san, in Tokyo or wherever they ended up living.

Slowly and bitterly, Taeyong began to realize why Yuta-san might’ve refused to tell his mother how things were going in recent weeks. He wondered what kind of things she said to him over the phone if this is the kind of person she truly was. Yuta-san never said anything about his phone calls with his parents, only telling Taeyong they’d spoken for a bit but nothing else.

The hurt from before returned as anger, the tears disappearing from his eyes. He didn’t want to hurt Nakamoto-san’s feelings so he remained quiet for a moment as he brought himself together. She finished the rest of her tea as she waited. Taeyong didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of having hit a weak spot. By the smile forming on her face, she was already thinking she’d won. Fat chance he’d let that happen, he thought.

“He told you he intends on marrying me,” he said.

Her smile disappeared. She looked confused, just for a second, and then surprise crossed over her features. She gathered herself quickly, straightening up and tightening her features into something cold and distant. “He mentioned it,” she said, looking away.

“You hate this, don’t you?” Taeyong asked. He was surprised when the question came out rather informally but Nakamoto-san didn’t seem bothered by it. He almost laughed. “Just as much as your husband. Or perhaps… even more?”

Nakamoto-san returned her gaze to the television stand. “Were you aware Yuta was going to have an engagement ceremony? The son of some family friends… they were good for each other. The preparations were done earnestly but when the time came, Yuta refused to show up.” A small smile formed on her face. “Sometime around the start of October. Isn’t that interesting?”

October? That was… that was…

His resolve and courage dissolved within seconds as he processed the information. Had he really trapped Yuta-san? Because around that time, he’d… 

“Thank you for inviting me into your humble home again,” Nakamoto-san said, standing from the couch. She offered a smile but Taeyong didn’t return it. He didn’t even feel like he was there at all. “I’ll be taking my leave now.”

He didn’t stand and walk with her to the door. He heard her switch the slippers for her heels. The door opened and closed. The apartment was silent again.

* * *

Taeyong was tense throughout the rest of the week. He had tried to keep himself calm, taking walks around the neighborhood in the mornings to distract him and reading the books he’d been meaning to finish when he returned. When he finished, he tidied around and played games on his laptop, keeping away from work. Doyoung had voluntarily offered information regarding the end of the month report but Taeyong hadn’t been able to focus on it, though he was happy Morisuke-san had everything under control. While Doyoung seemed concerned about his uninterest, he hadn’t questioned him, for which Taeyong was thankful.

Yuta-san came and went to work, returning late after practice. The team was preparing for a tournament of sorts now and the kids were excited, wanting to practice late into the evening. Taeyong must’ve been doing a fine job hiding his feelings because Yuta-san didn’t seem to notice them or perhaps he was just too tired to be overly attentive about such things. He was nearing the edge of overworking himself at school, Taeyong thought, and he knew letting Yuta-san know about the true nature of his conversation with his mother would only add to the burden.

Last Monday, when Yuta-san returned from work, Taeyong said he had a lovely time with Nakamoto-san. She was up to date on everything and excited. He said nothing else, keeping a tight smile on his face. It seemed to make Yuta-san happy, a sweet smile stretching across his face and staying there all through dinner.

But now that a week had passed and another Monday night arrived, Taeyong wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep it in any longer. He wanted to know more about what Nakamoto-san meant. If Yuta-san was supposed to have an engagement ceremony, what was the reason he hadn’t gone? Was this engagement to that Mimura-kun, and was it the setup Yuta-san mentioned that night in Osaka to his mother? Had his parents arranged it without his knowing?

Taeyong was going to ask Yuta-san when he came home. Practice ran short on Mondays so he’d arrive around five. To keep himself busy, Taeyong set up the bassinet in his bedroom. It had arrived last Wednesday but he’d been putting off getting it ready. It was simple and easy to put together. He also put the new buggy away to keep it out of the way for now. Taeyong cooked dinner, and since he was feeling a little homesick, he made stir-fried glass noodles. It was ready by the time the door opened and Yuta-san was calling out a bright greeting from the genkan.

“Welcome back,” Taeyong said, stepping out of the kitchen.

He met Yuta-san by the dinner table, Yuta-san setting aside his bag and wrapping an arm around Taeyong, pulling him close. When Yuta-san tried to kiss him, he turned his head away. Yuta-san looked confused and he tried again but Taeyong raised a hand between them to stop him.

“Sorry,” he said, not meeting Yuta-san’s eyes. “I’m not feeling too well.”

It wasn’t a lie. He felt sick shortly after Yuta-san left in the morning but he wasn’t sure why. He couldn’t tell if it was his anxiety or the baby but nausea came and went over the day. He hadn’t thrown up, but the feeling still left him uneasy. He had his 34-week appointment on Thursday and if it continued until then, he’d ask Ishigami-sensei. Though he was sure it wasn’t anything but his nerves getting the best of him.

“Morning sickness again? Is that normal?” Yuta-san asked, letting him go.

“I’ll talk to Ishigami-sensei about it,” he said. “Dinner is ready. Go wash up.”

Yuta-san left, taking his bag with him. Taeyong went back to the kitchen and dished out the food. He set the table, hands slightly trembling. He wasn’t sure when to ask. Doing it during dinner was too abrupt and he didn’t want to ruin their appetites. He could ask when they were relaxing in Taeyong’s room but having such a conversation right before bed also wasn’t appealing.

He sat down, waiting for Yuta-san. When he came back out, he was still dressed in his suit but without the jacket and tie.

“Oh, this looks delicious,” he said, taking his seat. He brought his hands together and Taeyong followed. “Thank you for the meal.”

Yuta-san told him about his day. His classes were preparing for a small project but the kids were struggling to focus since Golden Week was starting and they’d have some days off starting Wednesday. From what Taeyong had been hearing the last couple weeks, the new kids were rowdier than the last bunch and their enthusiasm about learning wavered here and there. Yuta-san’s voice was fond when speaking about them though.

Taeyong’s day was dull in comparison but Yuta-san still seemed interested in it. Since Golden Week was starting, he would be home for a few days and suggested they go out, perhaps they could make the trip to Suitengu Shrine and ask for a healthy delivery. That way Taeyong could have something to distract him.

“I doubt it’s fun staying here all day by yourself,” Yuta-san said as they finished and cleaned the table together, moving into the kitchen with their dirty dishes. “But I guess the days will only get tougher. Once the baby is born, you’ll have someone to keep you company.”

“Yeah,” Taeyong said as they stood beside each other, Taeyong washing the dishes and Yuta-san putting them on the rack to dry. It was true. When June came around, the apartment would be much noisier and he’d have plenty to do. “It’ll get really busy around here.”

“In a good way!” Yuta-san seemed so upbeat tonight compared to how he’d been last week. Taeyong felt his gut twist and tighten. Was it a good time? He didn’t want to ruin his mood. “Oh, that reminds me. We haven’t spoken about names, have we? Since it’s almost summer, would it be tacky to give them a summer name? With Natsu in it, like Natsuki or Natsuo.”

“Natsuki is the name of Johnny and Christie’s daughter,” Taeyong mumbled.

“That’s why it sounded familiar.” Yuta-san hummed. “Come to think of it, Natsuki and Kahi share a kanji. Johnny-san and Christie-san thought that one through. It’s going to be tough in school if they’re in the same class though. Hey, is one of them a twin?”

Johnny was an only child, the single pride and joy of his parents. “Christie is,” Taeyong said. He’d met Christie’s sister a few times but she lived in Oita so he wasn’t all that close to her. But she was the spitting image of Christie and only a bit more exuberant in her personality. “She has a twin sister. Her younger brothers are twins, too.”

“The chances of twins are higher for them then. Does your family have a history of twins?”

The question took him by surprise and he let his guard down, the tension from before disappearing for a moment. There was a teasing smile on Yuta-san’s face and Taeyong couldn’t hold back a small one of his own. “Yuta-san… please focus on the first baby before you think about having more, especially twins,” he said.

“My dad is a triplet, you know?”

“Triplets?” Taeyong asked. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am! He’s the youngest of the three. My uncle and aunt also had one set of triplets each. My dad was the only one who didn’t but you saw my sister’s kids. The first two are twins.”

Multiple births used to be common but for the last several decades, the numbers had decreased and single births rose. More traditional families kept within closed circles and mated with others that had a history of multiple births. Families that had many children were wealthy and remained wealthy, the children growing up and marrying into another large, rich family. It made him uneasy to think about having several children like that at once. Was it something that Yuta-san wanted?

“There are no twins or triplets in my family that I know of,” Taeyong said. His sister had two kids but they were born a few years apart. His mother was an only child and he only had an aunt on his dad’s side. His grandparents on each side had one or two siblings but nothing like twins or triplets. He finished rinsing the last dish and handed it to Yuta-san, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. He leaned against the counter and watched Yuta-san set the dish onto the rack, his attention on the way the water dripped down the side of the bowl for a second before bringing his gaze up to Yuta-san again. “Do you want something like that?”

“A big family is nice and all…” Yuta-san looked at him. Taeyong must have seemed upset because Yuta-san came to stand in front of him, hands holding him in place. He leaned in but didn’t try to kiss him on the lips. Only a small kiss on the cheek. “But I’m happy if it’s just us.”

Growing up, Taeyong wanted to have at least two children. He and his sister got along despite their age difference and he wanted his children to have a friend like he had his entire life. Someone reliable and strong to lean on. Perhaps closer in age, since he knew the reason why he and his sister failed to get along in some areas was because of their age. He wanted to enjoy time with his first child so maybe… two or three years from now…

He’d be nearing thirty-three. It would be much more difficult for him.

“I don’t know about having triplets or twins but the baby deserves to have someone, right? You have two sisters and I have one… they should get that experience at least.”

“You said you think we’re having a boy. So you’d like to have a girl next?”

“That’s not what I meant. It doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or boy. Just a sibling.”

“So you _ do _ want another one?”

“At least one more,” Taeyong admitted. He brought his hands over his stomach in between them and looked down at it. “Wouldn’t it be nice? And they’d both be alphas so your family would be happy.”

“I suppose.” Yuta-san sighed, nosing at the hair by his ear, his warm breath fanning over his ear. “I’d be happy regardless of what they are. Because they are made of you and me, I will love them.”

Taeyong couldn’t ask Yuta-san now. It would make the situation awkward. Yuta-san was in such a good mood and saying such sweet things. When Yuta-san tried to kiss him, he accepted it easily, falling into a familiar comfort. Yuta-san wanted to be here, with Taeyong and their baby.

He needed to be confident in their feelings for each other.

* * *

Ishigami-sensei apologized profusely for a few moments, clearly embarrassed. Taeyong didn’t know how to feel. She had just… revealed the gender of their baby. It was an accident of course. She’d been careful of avoiding any terms that may indicate the gender but she seemed forgetful today, mentioning how _he _looked great and _his_ development was fantastic this far along. Taeyong hadn’t noticed it but when he did, it seemed to be at the same time she realized her slip up.

“Ah, it’s not like me to be so forgetful! I sincerely apologize, Taeyong-san, Yuta-san,” she said. Her hand was still, the wand in her hand pressed against Taeyong’s stomach. They could see the baby on the ultrasound machine. Yuta-san and Taeyong were looking at her with wide eyes. “But as I said, the baby is a boy. Congratulations.”

“Th-thank you, sensei,” Taeyong said, moving his attention to the screen. He still only saw the outline of their baby but something changed in how he saw it. He knew more about his baby. “A boy, then. Please continue.”

Somehow, Taeyong felt relieved that his prediction was correct. He wouldn’t be embarrassed like he would’ve been if they ended up having a girl after he insisted it was a boy. He wondered what they would look like. They’d be closer to looking like either him or Yuta-san this way, he imagined.

Ishigami-sensei moved the wand lower on his stomach and pointed to something on the screen. Taeyong squinted his eyes a little, seeing their baby’s small head and their mouth. “As you can see here, he’s doing wonderful. His mouth is open and he could be drinking the amniotic fluid right now. This helps the development of his respiratory system.” She took a few pictures for them and then moved the wand again. “And since we all know it’s a boy now, down here, we can see he’s developing as we expected.”

Taeyong wasn’t sure what he was looking at anymore. He looked at Yuta-san instead, taking his hand. Yuta-san squeezed in response but his attention was still on the screen, watching in awe. 

Ishigami-sensei paused. Taeyong felt the wand jerk over his stomach a little and he turned back to look at her. She was frowning and it did not make him feel good. It wasn’t bad but he felt something was off with what she was seeing. Humming, her expression relaxed and she took some more photos. He briefly looked at the screen again and didn’t see anything amiss, but he wouldn’t be able to spot anything abnormal anyway, given his limited knowledge.

“What is it, sensei?” Taeyong asked, catching her attention.

“Ah, it seems I’ve found the secondary gender of your baby,” she said. When Taeyong didn’t say anything, she pointed to a spot on the screen. “By now, the tissue should have fully formed around here, but there isn’t anything, as you can see. However, this is no cause for concern. There’s always a small chance for an omega child to be born in pairings such as your own.”

Taeyong digested the information. “So our baby is―”

“An omega. Congratulations again,” she said, smiling. After taking the wand off his stomach and turning off the ultrasound machine, she handed Taeyong a clean towel to wipe himself off. He did and then sat up with Yuta-san’s help. As he pulled down his shirt and tugged his pants back up into place, she wrote on her clipboard. “I’ll give you a moment and return with your book.”

Taeyong was speechless as she continued, telling him he was doing great. Yuta-san took the lead, thanking her. They both watched her leave the room, the door closing behind her with a click. Taeyong couldn’t look at Yuta-san but he felt the way Yuta-san was staring at him.

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong finally said, his voice at a whisper. “He was supposed to be an alpha.”

Yuta-san said nothing, only taking Taeyong’s hand and bringing it up to press a kiss on the back of it. He kept it against his lips, his warm breath fanning across Taeyong’s skin. Taeyong felt his palm get sweaty but even still, Yuta-san held onto it.

Ishigami-sensei returned and asked Taeyong to schedule an appointment for two weeks from now. She handed him his Maternal and Child Health Handbook with all the relevant things filled out as well as a few prints of the ultrasound. He tucked the images into the handbook, slipping it into his bag.

He barely heard her as she continued, telling him what to expect over the next two weeks. The baby would be moving into the proper position for birth and she’d confirm things were ready to go during the next visit. He’d have a Group B Strep Test at the appointment as well. She gave a detailed list of early labor signs and reminded him of the warnings that might suggest issues like preeclampsia. Taeyong only nodded, Yuta-san beside him speaking for them.

They left the clinic after scheduling an appointment at the front desk and walked to the train station in silence. Yuta-san continued to hold his hand, almost having to pull him along. He gave some encouraging words to Taeyong but they fell on deaf ears. Taeyong still couldn’t believe it.

How could this have happened? Yuta-san was… he was pure alpha. The baby was supposed to be an alpha. Even if Taeyong was a pure omega, with the way it worked, he was certain the baby would be an alpha. Everyone had guessed it. In a relationship like theirs, there could be no other choice. So why?

“Taeyong, come on,” Yuta-san said, pulling him down onto a seat on the train. Yuta-san remained standing, blocking Taeyong’s front from other passengers.

The train was crowded and noisy but they remained silent, hardly looking at each other. The ride home wasn’t awkward or tense though. Yuta-san only seemed worried about Taeyong, carefully leading him back to the apartment as they got off half an hour later. He didn’t let go of Taeyong’s hand the entire time again.

Taeyong wondered how Yuta-san felt. He said he didn’t care and Taeyong knew he was being sincere. It was their child and they would love him unconditionally. Yet, some part of him had to be disappointed, right? A small part of him that hoped to have a child who was like him.

They got to the apartment and Taeyong hurried in, taking his shoes off but not bothering to put on his slippers. He set his bag aside, not wanting to look at the pictures or fill out the journal now. He had to do something to distract himself. Yuta-san wasn’t saying anything at all either and it only made him more anxious.

He had to start dinner. That would be enough to keep his attention away from his thoughts.

“Are we going to the shrine tomorrow?” Yuta-san asked.

Taeyong stopped mid-reach into the refrigerator. “If you want to go,” he said, grabbing the jar of kimchi and pulling it close to his chest. He let the refrigerator door shut as he stepped back. “Do you?”

“Of course I do.” Yuta-san came closer, hands up in defense as if Taeyong would strike. Taeyong eyed him, considering moving away, as Yuta-san stood right in front of him. He stayed still. Yuta-san slowly took the kimchi from Taeyong’s hands and set it on the counter before coming back and taking Taeyong by the shoulders. “Are you upset? Because Ishigami-sensei told us the genders?”

“No.” His tone of voice was curt and he saw the way Yuta-san’s face scrunched up. He wasn’t upset with Ishigami-sensei. He believed it was an honest mistake. It wasn’t like he’d been desperate to keep it a secret. He was happy to know more about the baby. If only it had been different. “I’m not upset, Yuta-san. I just thought it’d be different.”

Yuta-san’s features relaxed as he realized. “Ah,” he exhaled, “Because he’s an omega, right?”

Did it make Taeyong a bad person? With every part of his being, he cherished the life he held inside him. Every day, he was thankful to have such a wonderful blessing. But he spent this entire time thinking the baby would be an alpha. He hadn’t prepared for anything else. It changed nearly everything about the future he’d begun to intricately plan in his mind. It didn’t mean he hated it. It wasn’t burdensome… it didn’t mean he loved the baby any less.

“I love him,” Taeyong assured yet his voice wavered and he felt tears prick at his eyes. “I swear I do. I just thought it would be different.”

Nakamoto-san’s voice rang in his head. _ At least the child will be an alpha. _

Would Yuta-san’s family not accept their baby? He couldn’t bear the thought of being cast aside, both he and his child, just because they weren’t what Yuta-san’s family wanted. Yuta-san would never let it happen, right? Of course not, he thought, Yuta-san wouldn’t allow it. But Taeyong didn’t want Yuta-san to risk his relationship with his family to stay and protect them.

A million thoughts about what could happen formed in his mind and surged forward, pushing the tears to his waterline. When Taeyong blinked, he felt them fall. He inhaled sharply, trying to stop but they just kept coming.

Yuta-san’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. “Hey, hey,” Yuta-san said right by his ear. “Don’t cry, don’t panic. Talk to me, Taeyong. Please.”

Taeyong brought his arms around Yuta-san and grabbed at the back of his sweater, holding on tight to the soft material. He turned his head down and pressed his forehead against Yuta-san’s shoulder. When he spoke, he could hear the strain of his voice. “It’s my fault,” he said, letting his hands fall from Yuta-san’s back and to his sides again, growing weak in Yuta-san’s hold. “Your mom said that―and then I… this…”

“My mom?” Yuta took a step back, keeping his hands on Taeyong’s shoulders. A small frown took over his face and his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to take a look at Taeyong’s face. “What did my mom say to you?”

“Nothing,” Taeyong said, realizing it wasn’t right to bring this up now. “She didn’t say anything. I’m just―I’m making a big deal of this.”

“You’re not. Taeyong, tell me what she said,” Yuta-san insisted, his hold tightening a little. His confusion and surprise seemed to turn into something else. It was the last thing Taeyong wanted Yuta-san to feel. “If she said something rude to you, I’m going to talk to her about it.”

Taeyong raised his hands to wipe his eyes and then waved Yuta-san off. “It was nothing really. She just mentioned the baby being an alpha. I imagine since everyone was so sure, they’re going to be surprised to hear that’s not the case.” He sighed, hearing how shaky it was in his ears, and bit down on his bottom lip for a second. “I mean, surely, even you expected it?”

Yuta-san took his hands off Taeyong’s shoulders. He seemed to relax a little, shoulders falling. “Maybe I did think that’d be that case but my feelings haven’t changed now that we found out. You know that, right?”

“Not a single part of you is disappointed?” Taeyong asked.

“I haven’t had the time to process the information so I don’t know. Even if I was, I knew the possibilities were there and I accepted them. I accepted the responsibility and what might come from it when it’s over.”

There it was. The word Nakamoto-san had said. Over. He was certain Yuta-san didn’t mean it that way. They were serious about each other and confident in their feelings. The future, while not perfectly planned, was something they’d spend together. Yet he couldn’t help himself. A nasty feeling tore through his body, something akin to red, hot anger combined with a wicked spitefulness he’d been holding back since last Monday.

“Over?” Taeyong asked, hearing the pain in his voice.

He didn’t want to hurt Yuta-san purposefully but the hurt he’d felt from Nakamoto-san’s words returned tenfold. It felt impossible for him to resist the searing need to see that hurt painted on someone else, anyone else. It was unfortunate it would be Yuta-san on the other end. Taeyong knew he could be mean when he felt hurt. It was said that true thoughts and feelings came out in moments of pain. Still, Taeyong didn’t know what overtook him to say what he did.

“So will you take him and go off to marry that Mimura-san? Huh? When this is over, is that what you’ll do?” Taeyong’s hands came up to push against Yuta-san’s chest, shoving him back. Yuta-san stumbled but caught himself on the edge of the counter opposite them. He looked surprised and clearly hurt but Taeyong couldn’t stop. “If you had married him in the first place, you wouldn’t be so disappointed, you know? You’d have an alpha child and your parents would accept him!”

“Taeyong, what the hell?” Yuta-san asked. “Who said anything about Mimura-kun?”

Hearing the name come from Yuta-san’s mouth made Taeyong even more upset. “Your mom did,” he answered. “You were supposed to get engaged to him yet you didn’t go.”

He couldn’t stop. He caught sight of the hurt blooming across Yuta-san’s features, a lost look in his eyes. It was something he never imagined could cross Yuta-san’s face. Yuta-san, who was always cool and collected, was thoroughly confused, and more than that, he was hurt. Because of Taeyong.

“You were supposed to go after I told you, right?” Taeyong asked, hearing the desperation in his voice. Yuta-san only stared back at him. “Why didn’t you?”

“Taeyong, you―”

“Please tell me the truth, Yuta-san.”

Taeyong saw how Yuta-san clenched his jaw. His hands gripped the edge of the counter hard enough that his knuckles were white. He wasn’t angry. Nervous perhaps. There wasn’t anything threatening about Yuta-san so Taeyong didn’t mind when he came close again. He didn’t feel calm and soothed like he usually did when Yuta-san was near but he wasn’t tense either.

“Do you want the truth?” Yuta-san asked. His hands hovered, clearly wanting to grab him, but then he dropped them to his sides. His eyes wandered but after a deep breath, he focused on Taeyong. “I wouldn’t have gone either way. I wanted to do things my own way, and I did. I wanted to stay with you before the baby and nothing changed after you told me. Don’t you remember what I said?”

Taeyong recalled the conversation they had a couple of weeks ago. Yuta-san had been honest and vulnerable. Was Taeyong doubting his sincerity?

“I’m, I’m sorry,” he said, feeling all the rage leave his body, taking his energy as well. He was glad Yuta-san hadn’t seemed to take his words to heart but he felt terrible he had said them at all, knowing Yuta-san wasn’t expecting him to bring up something like that. The tears in his eyes continued to fall and he reached up, wiping at his face with the ends of his sleeves. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me the truth about what happened with my mom? You said things went fine,” Yuta-san said, finally wrapping his arms around Taeyong. Like earlier, his embrace was warm and strong, and he let Taeyong rest against his shoulder, his tears staining his sweater. Taeyong decided he had done very little in his life to deserve someone as calm and understanding as Yuta-san was being right now. “You shouldn’t have held all this back.”

“I know,” Taeyong murmured. “I didn’t know how to bring it up.”

Taeyong was confident in his feelings for Yuta-san but maybe he had been doubting Yuta-san’s feelings for him. Despite constant reassurances, something within him felt insecure and after speaking with Nakamoto-san, the seed of insecurity that had been planted began to grow at an exponential rate. In the past, Taeyong faced many failed attempts at a relationship. Time and time again, he saw it didn’t work. Why was it so hard for him to accept that this one wouldn’t end in failure?

“I’m sorry,” he repeated.

“Next time, talk to me,” was all Yuta-san said. Yuta-san pulled away after a few more moments, bringing his hands up to cup Taeyong’s face, thumbs running over his cheeks. “I told you already. I want to be with you for a long time.”

“I know,” Taeyong said. He felt like someone was squeezing his heart, an unfamiliar ache coursing through his chest. Yuta-san’s hand moved up, wrist pressing to the side of his face, and the feeling went away. “I… want to be with you, too.”

“Then that’s all we need.” Yuta-san smiled and let him go. “I’ll talk to my mom about it. Don’t listen to her. I don’t need them to make decisions for me. Just look towards me, okay?”

“Are you sure? I think―I think maybe we should consider some of the things…”

“What did she say to you exactly?”

Taeyong bit down on his bottom lip, unsure of what was okay to mention. “She mentioned moving to Osaka―”

“Absolutely not,” Yuta-san interrupted. “As much as I love Osaka, it isn’t where my life is. It hasn’t been where my life is for years now. What else?”

“She said I should stay home from now on…”

“Stay home?” Yuta-san looked confused but he seemed to realize the implication because he shook his head. “No. I mean, if you want to, you can but I know you’re dedicated to your job and enjoy it. That choice is yours. Besides, you make more than me so if you stop working, how will we live?”

“Yuta-san…”

“Sorry, sorry.” Yuta-san’s smile was teasing. “You know, she can’t police what you do and neither can I so I’ll leave it up to you. Was there anything else?”

“Ah, there was… something.” Taeyong hesitated and he noticed how Yuta-san’s eyebrows rose in question. “She said if we were getting married, for it to be before June.”

“Before June, huh?” Yuta-san hummed. His hands moved to Taeyong’s sides, holding him in place. “Their son having a child before marriage wouldn’t look all that good, would it?”

Taeyong didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure if Yuta-san was looking for an answer at all. It seemed he wasn’t.

“In any case, I doubt anyone will notice. Despite their many acquaintances in Tokyo, I hardly come across them. No one here would know, much less those in Osaka.” Yuta-san tightened his hold and smiled. “We can speak about that more later. Right now, let’s focus on keeping you healthy.”

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong said, his name coming out shaky, “You’re not mad?”

Yuta-san blinked. “Mad? Maybe I was for a moment―” Taeyong’s chest constricted and he wanted to shrink into himself. “―But it wasn’t at you.”

“You’re too kind, Yuta-san,” Taeyong mumbled. He allowed himself to hold onto the front of Yuta-san’s sweater, tugging on the soft material in between his fingers. “I’m sorry, again. Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t have to ask.”

Taeyong leaned in, pulling Yuta-san closer and closing the space between their mouths until there was none.

It was always Yuta-san initiating everything but right now, it was Taeyong making the first move. Maybe this was one of those times where he desperately needed the gentle reassurances Yuta-san provided through soft kisses, something sweet on his lips and something warm further in. It was something he always craved but never received in past attempts, always feeling too distant and too afraid to ask for it.

But there was no reason to be distant or afraid of Yuta-san. Yuta-san accepted easily, a hand leaving Taeyong’s side to interlock with his free hand. There was something about the way Yuta-san kissed, whether it was the light, sweet kisses before leaving for work in the morning or the hot, fervent kisses they shared under the cover of darkness, and it felt natural yet exhilarating and new all at once. 

Addicting, so addicting, Taeyong thought as he tightened his hold on Yuta-san’s sweater, a hot want―a scorching _need_―for more, something more fervent, taking over his mind. Taeyong would acknowledge it. The hurt Nakamoto-san inflicted on him and the sting of supposed betrayal on Yuta-san’s behalf, completely unfounded and only said to make Taeyong angry. Had she hoped a fit of vicious jealousy would tear through his body, consuming him blind to the point of driving Yuta-san away from him?

He could almost laugh of pure joy at the result. It was thrilling to know Yuta-san chose him, even though the guilt for feeling so lingered not far below. Nakamoto-san didn’t make decisions for Yuta-san, even through indirect influence, and it was not Mimura-san or anyone else in Yuta-san’s arms, with Yuta-san’s lips moving against his with ardor at the end of the night. Still, Taeyong wanted to hear it, over and over again.

_ Prove it to me_, he wanted to say._ Prove that you want me. That it’s me you choose, prove it in a way only you can. _

Taeyong wasn’t the kind to say such words out loud. He could only use his body, hoping his intentions were clear. As he let go of Yuta-san’s sweater and tugged up the hem, slipping his hand underneath to touch his side, Yuta-san jolted, biting down on Taeyong’s bottom lip. A moan caught in the back of Taeyong’s throat, swallowed by a choked breath before it could escape his lips.

He was pushed back against the counter and he felt how the edge dug into his lower back, his upper body continuing to move further and further back as Yuta-san came closer, closer, closer, mouth moving with an undistinguishable rhythm now, leaving Taeyong’s lips and giving attention to the rest of him. His tongue wet along his jawline and teeth grazing down his neck, leaving behind a fire. Gasping, Taeyong dug his nails into Yuta-san’s skin, hard enough to leave a lasting mark for the night.

He wondered briefly if he managed to set Yuta-san aflame like he had Taeyong so many times in the past. And then he wondered if anyone else had ever been able to do so. How many people had touched Yuta-san in this way? Had their hands over his body, leaving a deep blush blossoming underneath their touch? Had Mimura-san been someone like that?

Yuta-san managed to pull down the collar of Taeyong’s shirt and was sucking hard at his clavicle, eliciting a groan from Taeyong. Mark me, Taeyong wanted to say, mark me more and more and more. He wanted it until there was no expanse on his body left untouched by Yuta-san’s mouth.

The pool of heat at his navel tightened and he sighed as Yuta-san pressed his thigh against him, knee slipping between his legs. Their interlocked hands separated, Taeyong bringing his hand to push up Yuta-san’s sweater even higher, revealing the tan skin underneath, his fingers running over the muscles, feeling how Yuta-san trembled beneath his touch.

Yuta-san’s lips came off his skin and he leaned in, hot breath across Taeyong’s ear. It tickled so he flinched away but his face was caught by Yuta-san’s hand, bringing him back. “Taeyong,” he whispered, voice heavy with something that sent chills down Taeyong’s back, “I like you, you know.”

Taeyong closed his eyes when Yuta-san’s other hand moved between them, running over his stomach before going down to palm at the front of his jeans. A stuttered breath left Taeyong’s mouth and he was certain he felt Yuta-san smile against his ear before biting at it gently.

The scenario was familiar. Taeyong remembered nights in Ni-chome, locked in a dark bathroom stall with the taste of bitter alcohol on his tongue and his back against the wall, the mouth of a stranger teasing him and a hand jerking him off. But this was not Taeyong of seven years ago, allowing himself to be taken by the first man with dark eyes who’d disappear by morning. And then he remembered attempts at dinner dates and pretending to be charmed by fancy gifts, relationships rushed to the point of no return followed by an inevitable end that fell onto Taeyong’s shoulders. He wasn’t that person anymore. He’d never be that person again.

He’d been left so hollow, so alone. Now, he was new and feeling near complete. Because no one had ever held him the way Yuta-san had, and no one had ever touched him the way Yuta-san had, and… _ was this it? _

“A-ah!”

The question remained unanswered, pushed aside for the moment. It seemed Yuta-san had something to prove now and Taeyong wanted to make sure he felt it in full.

* * *

Yuta-san worked at a private junior high school in Roppongi. It looked like a typical school: a few buildings clustered together, each a few stories tall, painted white with large windows. Further behind were the fields and clubrooms. Tall trees decorated the school entry, large green leaves providing shade to those that passed through.

As classes were dismissed, the students began to come out of the buildings, crowding the front courtyard before going to their club activities or leaving campus. Although a familiar sight, Taeyong felt distanced from it all. It had been years since he’d been in school, dressed in an uncomfortable uniform and lugging around a heavy bag with him. He’d also never been as cool as these kids.

The boys walked tall and confidently, dressed in their navy blazers and blue ties. Some loosened their ties as they left with their friends in groups, their boisterous laughs echoing down the street. The girls followed in their own groups, blue tartan skirts swishing just above their knees and the charms hooked on their bags jumping along as they moved excitedly.

Their youth was something Taeyong almost envied. He couldn’t remember how it felt to be so young and innocent, getting into childish trouble with no real-world consequences yet. He’d experienced so much life since then and had been worn down, filled with the heaviness of adulthood. The tiredness from work was deep within his bones and the evidence of it marked on his body.

“Sakurai Sho-chan!” a young girl exclaimed by the front gate, catching the attention of a young boy and Taeyong’s as well.

The boys around him hooted and hollered as he stepped away to stand in front of the girl, both of them growing red in the face. The girl’s friends were waiting no far behind, quietly watching their friend.

“Ah,” the boy said, bringing a hand up to scratch the back of his neck.

He looked back to his friends and Taeyong wasn’t sure what happened, but they continued on, calling out their goodbyes to him. The girl’s friends also left, leaving the two alone. Taeyong glanced around, seeing most of the students had left and those that remained had their attention elsewhere.

“Ninomiya-san,” the boy continued, “What is it?”

“Sho-chan, we’ve known each other for a long time now and… and―” She seemed to gather her courage, hands forming fists at her sides, a determined expression taking over her features. “―I like you! Please go out with me!”

Taeyong waited and the young Sakurai-kun didn’t disappoint. “Ninomiya-san, honestly, I like you, too,” he said.

Before he could witness anything else, Taeyong’s attention moved to the person coming through the front gates. Yuta-san looked around and then spotted him across the street, raising a hand to wave at him. He’d been waiting right where Yuta-san asked. Taeyong waved back, forgetting the two students he’d been eavesdropping on.

Yuta-san crossed the street and began to approach him. A couple of girls stopped him a few steps away and asked him something quietly. Yuta-san smiled and nodded. “Thank you. I will check for you,” he said to them. He looked up at Taeyong and the girls followed, small gasps escaping them. “Now, I’m sorry. I have to go. Take care, Honda-san, Yamamoto-san.”

The two girls nodded and left but their whispers weren’t as quiet as they thought. They were talking about Taeyong. He didn’t mind it. It wasn’t anything negative. Just the two of them wondering who he was to Yuta-san, or in their words, Nakamoto-sensei.

“Good afternoon, Taeyong,” Yuta-san said, catching his attention. “Did you make it here okay?”

“All in one piece, Nakamoto-sensei,” Taeyong answered, a smile forming on his lips. “Your students are quite curious.”

“The rumors about Nakamoto-sensei’s partner have been dying out. Can’t have that, can we?” Yuta-san said, a teasing lilt to his voice. He shifted his bag to his other side to allow Taeyong to come a bit closer, not necessarily pressed against each other but close enough that their hands touched here and there as they began walking down the street. “I’ll get asked tomorrow about you for sure now.”

“Can you answer such questions?”

Yuta-san hummed. “For a price,” he said with a nod of his head. “Perfect scores on their projects and I might allow it.”

Taeyong laughed, reaching out to give Yuta-san a small push. “No one can get a perfect score on something like that,” he said. “You’re too harsh, sensei.”

“Can’t be too lenient with everyone, Taeyong,” Yuta-san replied.

They stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the signal to cross. As they waited, Taeyong spotted the two students from earlier. He hadn’t heard the rest of their conversation but he assumed it went well as they were a bit close and their cheeks were scarlet, eyes flitting around shyly.

Taeyong realized he’d never had something like first love in such manner. In junior high, Taeyong hadn’t been extremely popular. He had struggled with his appearance, as his body was going through changes. His weight had fluctuated almost drastically throughout those years, something common in male omegas in puberty, and his poor eyesight forced him to wear glasses, of which he’d chosen the ugliest frames possible. As a result, he had little confidence. He had few friends and stayed within his group.

He had crushes on girls, or so he thought he did. Most of them he’d forgotten but he could remember a couple that continued to live around his childhood home. A girl named Jiyeon from the class above his caught his attention his second year but he was too shy to approach her. She was pretty, smart, and fairly popular. She had been good acquaintances with one of Taeyong’s friends so if he had wanted to befriend her, it would’ve been rather easy for him. And then there was Mihyun, who was confident and outgoing, and extremely pretty. She’d been in the same class as Taeyong for all three years but never really spoke to each other, running in different groups.

Senior high had been different for Taeyong. He’d gotten to a healthy weight and he switched out his glasses for contacts. His confidence was boosted albeit still not all that high. Despite that, his popularity rose. He was a different person to his peers and a few months into his first year, he received a confession from a girl, the first one ever. He can’t remember her name now or her face. He only remembered he rejected her as politely as he could. His interest in girls had decreased, something he thought was normal given his increased focus on studying. He was into female idols like his friends were so it was fine. Still, the confessions continued to come.

His friends had asked him time and time again why he never accepted them when the girls that sent him letters or cornered him after school was the ones all the other guys wanted to date. He gave the same excuse over and over, claiming his studies didn’t allow him to enjoy a relationship. And then.

And then Jonghyun confessed to him. Taeyong had known him for years and considered him his closest friend, his best friend. So to be cornered in an empty classroom one day after school and having a quiet confession said his way took him by surprise. He never expected Jonghyun to like _him_. He rejected Jonghyun despite the hard beating of his heart and the heat across his cheeks.

He began dating Sojung shortly after. She was kind and smart. Taeyong liked her but he never felt that warmth across his face, that strong thumping of his heart like he had with Jonghyun in that one moment. He knew it was wrong since he was dating Sojung but he couldn’t help it, looking in Jonghyun’s direction during class, wondering what it would be like to be with him instead. Sojung’s delicate hands were replaced with calloused ones that belonged to Jonghyun, and then the hands didn’t belong to Jonghyun, but a faceless guy.

Instead of looking towards female idols, Taeyong paid attention to the male idols his sister used to like. He admired their sharp jawlines and strong hands, and he looked at how thick their thighs were and the broadness of their shoulders, bodies slimming down to a smaller waist. His attraction to these features was overwhelming. He found them more appealing than the soft curves and fluttering eyelashes of any girl around him. And it was then that he knew.

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong said as the light changed and they began to cross the street. Yuta-san hummed beside him. Taeyong kept his eyes ahead. “Did you get a lot of confessions as a student?”

Yuta-san seemed taken aback but he didn’t stop. They didn’t stop, not until they reached the other side of the street. Taeyong saw the two students from earlier disappear into a small cafe already crowded with other students. He glanced around and noticed that most of the establishments had a few students among their patrons.

“I don’t know what’s considered to be ‘a lot’, but I did receive some,” Yuta-san replied finally. He tilted his head. “Why’s that?”

“Did you accept them?”

“Not really. I wasn’t interested in dating since it interfered with club activities.”

“Is that so?” Taeyong sighed. “I suppose that makes sense.”

“I’m sure you received thousands,” Yuta-san joked as they resumed their walk. Taeyong didn’t laugh but he did smile, biting on the inside of his cheek. “If I had been a classmate of yours, I would’ve confessed to you, club activities be damned.”

“I highly doubt that,” Taeyong answered, remembering how Yuta-san had looked in his student days. He had the images burned into his mind from studying all the photographs he’d seen in Osaka. Yuta-san seemed like the cool type of guy in school, someone that would stay away from Taeyong and vice versa. They would never even cross paths. “There’s no way you’d even look in my direction, Yuta-san.”

“I think I would find you,” Yuta-san said but he provided no elaboration, leaving the meaning up to Taeyong. He decided to ignore the possibilities, aware that his heart was beginning to beat hard in his chest. Yuta-san didn’t seem to mind as he continued. “It’s just one of those things, you know?”

“What kind of thing?” Taeyong asked. He had a feeling he knew what Yuta-san would say and he wasn’t sure if he was eager to hear it.

“Fate,” was the simple reply.

Knew it, Taeyong thought. He was coming to find himself quite the expert on Yuta-san these days. “You believe in that stuff?” Taeyong asked instead.

“Isn’t it okay to find comfort in things like that?”

“I suppose,” Taeyong replied.

He wondered if Yuta-san would be interested in him like he was now, had they met at such a young age. He didn’t think it was possible. They were too different in their youth, he thought. If they had the chance to meet as teenagers, they surely would have past right by each other, too focused on what they wanted their futures to be. Besides, if Taeyong had never had the experience with Jonghyun, he might’ve continued living like a different person. And meeting Yuta-san as a student would mean one of them lived in the other’s country, and that meant the rest of that person’s life was altered completely. It was too much to think about.

Was there such a thing as another universe where this happened? Or maybe they ended up together in that universe as well. Could it be that they would find each other in each life, in every universe? And did it hurt to believe that?

“It does no harm,” Taeyong decided, taking Yuta-san by surprise.

The conversation had ended a few minutes ago. They were by the station’s entrance now. Taeyong reached for Yuta-san’s hand as they walked down the stairs together. He squeezed once and Yuta-san still seemed confused but he smiled at him regardless.

Maybe he didn’t get to have an innocent first love at school and maybe his relationship with Yuta-san wasn’t innocent or what he considered to be a “first” love of any sort, but it was funny to believe that somewhere else, it was Yuta-san and Taeyong together, sharing many firsts in a shy, awkward way only young first loves could.

* * *

“Taeyong,” Yuta-san said, setting aside his book.

Taeyong hummed, not looking away from his phone. He quickly finished typing out a comment on one of his sister’s posts, sending it. It appeared on the screen underneath the photo of his niece at a park and then he moved his attention to Yuta-san. “What?”

Yuta-san took a moment and Taeyong almost looked away but Yuta-san reached out, placing a hand over his thigh. “I know it’s late but I want to apologize,” he said.

“What?” Taeyong laughed. “For earlier? It was an honest mistake, Yuta-san. We got a free order of mochi ice cream in the end.”

“No, not that,” Yuta-san said. Taeyong paused, frowning at him. “Last week, in the kitchen… I want to apologize for that. I’m sure you have a lot of questions about things. I realized you might want to know more about it.”

“Ah, that.”

Taeyong’s anger and hurt had easily dissolved. He felt guilty about what he’d said but Yuta-san made it clear he was forgiven, though Taeyong insisted on making it up to him in other ways afterward anyway. And speaking of, Yuta-san’s reassurances had come in a very surprising yet welcomed way. Taeyong almost reached up to touch his collarbone, where he knew there were fading bruises created by Yuta’s lips. He’d hid them well during the day but the stretched-out collar of the t-shirt he wore now definitely did nothing to cover them up.

Truthfully, everything else seemed less important after that. Yuta-san called his mother and while she didn’t apologize to Taeyong, she had apologized to Yuta-san―Taeyong assumed it was the closest they’d get so he accepted it. And as for the jealousy he’d felt, he’d realized there was no reason to be jealous. In the end, Yuta-san was here, wasn’t he? Knowing Yuta-san was here and not anywhere else was enough to calm Taeyong.

“There’s no point in thinking of what could have been,” Taeyong said, placing his hand over Yuta-san’s on his thigh.

“I should at least tell you why or how,” Yuta-san said.

Taeyong shook his head. “There’s no need to. I feel okay right now.”

Yuta-san looked at him with a gentleness that took him off guard. Had Yuta-san always looked at him this way? Taeyong pulled his hand away, a breathy laugh leaving him. Yuta-san reached for him, pulling his receding hand to his chest. He held it there for a moment before he let go and moved, embracing Taeyong from the side and pulling them both down to lay in the bed.

Taeyong shivered as Yuta-san nosed at his hair by his ear, laughing louder as his hands took Yuta-san’s by the wrists, trying to pull him off. “Yu―Yuta-san,” he said.

“I could marry you right now, Taeyong,” Yuta-san whispered.

“Yuta!” Taeyong exclaimed, unable to contain the burst of laughter and the way his face grew warm.

“Ah! Call me that again, once more,” Yuta-san said, letting go of Taeyong to push himself up. He hovered over Taeyong, a bright smile on his face. “Do it again.”

“Absolutely not, Yuta-san.”

“Better yet, call me sensei again.”

Taeyong laughed again, this time elbowing Yuta-san hard enough in the stomach that he let go, groaning in pain. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, sitting up. He huffed as he got comfortable.

It was harder as each day passed. Despite being so small, he felt so large. He had a hand on his stomach, feeling a kick against his palm, as he tried to return to his original position. Yuta-san remained laying down, not making a move to get comfortable again. Instead, he made it more uncomfortable by moving his head over Taeyong’s thigh.

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong said. “I can’t get comfortable if you do that.”

“Just for a moment,” Yuta-san said, eyes closed. He hummed. “Please, just for a little while.”

“Okay,” Taeyong answered softly, noticing how long Yuta-san’s eyelashes were and how calm he seemed this way. Without thinking, he moved his hand from his stomach to Yuta-san’s hair, feeling how soft it was after bathing earlier. Yuta-san hummed again, leaning into his touch. Taeyong smiled. “Yuta-san, don’t fall asleep like this.”

“I won’t,” Yuta-san replied. “Promise.”

Despite his promise, Yuta-san fell asleep after a few minutes, and Taeyong had to find a way to move him away. He figured there was no use waking him and sending him to the other room. It was okay if Yuta-san stayed tonight. Once Yuta-san was off of him and on his side of the bed, Taeyong got comfortable, getting under the covers.

Yuta-san rolled over and his arms wrapped around Taeyong. “Thank you,” he murmured, pressing his lips against Taeyong’s ear.

“I should have known you were faking,” Taeyong replied, pulling back and catching how Yuta-san’s lips quirked up into a small smile. “Why are you thanking me?”

“That thing you said earlier in the day, that believing in such things does no harm,” he said, eyes still closed and voice more tired than before, “Thank you for not making fun of me.”

“I’m hardly in a place to make fun of you, Yuta-san,” Taeyong answered. He bit on the inside of his cheek for a second. “And it’s fun to think about that stuff, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.” Yuta-san kissed Taeyong by his ear again. “I know what I’m about to say is heavy so you don’t have to say anything… but I feel like we belong together.”

_I don’t think there’s anyone else but Taeyong-san for me. _ Yuta-san had said that months ago to his mother. Taeyong wanted to know how Yuta-san’s mind worked, what led him to say and believe something like that. It didn’t bother him; if anything, he was happy hearing that. Who wouldn’t be happy hearing something like that?

Taeyong thought about Yuta-san’s parents. They probably wouldn’t accept their relationship for a long time, if ever. Would that hurt them in the end? Taeyong couldn’t imagine not being able to contact his parents or introducing Yuta-san and their son to his family. It would break his heart knowing that part of his life was shunned by his family. He couldn’t imagine how hard it was for Yuta-san.

“That feeling, Yuta-san….” Taeyong sighed. “That doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll stay together. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Yuta-san’s breathing had gotten heavier and Taeyong almost thought he fell asleep. The arms around him tightened. “I understand, Taeyong,” Yuta-san whispered. “But I can only hope it does. Don’t you feel that way, too?”

Did he? Despite the hardships that would come their way, did Taeyong want to spend his life with Yuta-san? It was a bit troubling to think about this early in their relationship, regardless of the months they’ve already known each other. But if he forced himself to think about his future, he didn’t see anyone but Yuta-san beside him. He had little faith in things like fate but he had faith in the strength of their feelings, a strength that would only grow stronger as time passed. So…

"Yeah," Taeyong said quietly, "I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another chapter, another almost kitchen sex scene — I swear I will do it one day! Just wait, everyone.
> 
> Story-wise, by the end of the last scene, we have reached the start of May! Meaning, the baby is about a month away. Maybe the end is coming? Who knows? Definitely not me!
> 
> Thank you all for your support! I appreciate the comments so much. They have been the driving force to my writing these days. As always, I hardly edit so excuse my mistakes once again. Please take care of yourself and those around you. Until next time!


	12. When You Need Me, I Will Never Let You Come Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are back! Things are starting to happen! That is enough of a spoiler! I hope you like it!
> 
> Today’s chapter title is brought to you by “All That” as performed by Carly Rae Jepsen!

Yuta-san only had a small number of his belongings in the guest bedroom. It was easy enough to take all of his clothes from the dresser and dump them on the bed. He decided to sort through it, getting rid of things he no longer liked or fit. Taeyong sat in the center of the bed, surrounded by Yuta-san’s clothes, and quite honestly, he was the most calm he had ever been this entire week.

On one side of Taeyong, Yuta-san put all the items he wanted to keep. Taeyong left those untouched, only watching how the pile on his other side grew bigger and bigger. When he began staying with Taeyong, Yuta-san kept very little clothes in the apartment, preferring to pack overnight bags so he could take his things back to his apartment once the weekend was over. Now that Yuta-san had moved in permanently, he’d brought his entire closet here, which was surprisingly large. Taeyong had never seen a majority of the items he had and he almost complained when he saw Yuta-san set some nice things aside into his discard pile.

“This one is pretty,” Taeyong said, reaching for a thick, red knit sweater. “Why get rid of this one?”

“It’s too tight on me,” Yuta-san replied. He didn’t look at Taeyong, too busy looking at the clothes before him. “You can keep it if you want. For nesting or if you want to wear it.”

“I’ll keep it.” Taeyong held it close. The material was a bit itchy against his bare arms but he didn’t mind. It was warm and as he brought it up to his face, he realized it smelled like Yuta-san. It would be a good addition to a nest. He spotted another sweater and reached for it. “I’ll have this one, too.”

Yuta-san smiled, finally looking at him in full. “That one is far too small for you, isn’t it?”

“I like it,” Taeyong answered, bringing it to his chest to join the other sweater. “The baby will like it, too.”

Yuta-san only shook his head, laughing as he resumed his task. He let Taeyong take what he liked, which was nearly the entire pile. By the time Yuta-san had gone through everything, there were three piles instead of two. Taeyong was satisfied with what he’d chosen to keep for himself. He nearly tripped over himself getting off the bed, too excited to gather all the new items and find somewhere to make a comfy nest.

“Watch yourself,” Yuta-san said, holding him and helping up off the bed. His eyes crinkled at the corners and his smile was soft. “You have time to make a nest, you know.”

Taeyong was a bit embarrassed, his cheeks warming up as he brushed himself off. “Sorry,” he said before turning back and beginning to collect everything in his arms. He took as much as he could, leaving the room and moving across the hall into the bedroom. “Yuta-san, I’m going to sort through this now!”

He heard Yuta-san’s muffled reply from the other room and began picking through everything to separate the items accordingly. There were some things he wanted for the baby and others he could use for himself. Softer and smaller clothes would work great for a baby’s nest. He’d been trying his best to learn how to make a proper one for when the baby arrived. At the child birthing classes, they had a class all about baby’s nests so he was more confident in his skills.

There was so much he had learned in those classes alone, and not only about childcare. With the way they were set up based on gender, even if their partners differed, all the expecting persons in the class were omegas like him. He’d met several new people and, as Haru-san suggested to them all, he built up a small support system. From what he knew, he was likely the least experienced in making nests and struggled the most when it came to practice, but he’d gotten better over the last few weeks thanks to the advice from others.

Taeyong found the nicest shirts with material that wouldn’t be irritating for the baby and began to lay everything out as he’d learned. It was a bit of twisting and tying but nothing extremely difficult. The purpose of the nest was to snugly cradle the baby and keep them warm. It took a few attempts but he took a deep breath and tried again, again, and again.

Even though he’d completed nests at the birth center, Haru-san had told him he could use more practice. Yuta-san had complimented him each time but it was only out of kindness. Taeyong knew he was still lacking in skill. But like with everything else in his life, he was determined to perfect it and become a master at it, just for his baby.

It was odd working in the bedroom, though. It was almost unfamiliar.

Taeyong had spent the day deep cleaning the apartment, much to Yuta-san’s displeasure. Yuta-san said handling all the cleaning supplies was dangerous but Taeyong had been careful, avoiding using cleaners that contained ammonia or any other harmful chemicals. Just a little dish soap and water was enough to do wonders in cleaning, he told Yuta-san. Even though his back ached and his feet hurt, moving around and cleaning helped take distract from boredom and the stress he’d been feeling over the last few weeks. He felt more relaxed now.

The only downside was that cleaning the apartment top to bottom removed the scents that lingered in each room. When Taeyong cleaned, he turned on the scent cleaners and when he finished, he used an unscented air freshener to get rid of anything that remained. Despite enjoying having Yuta-san’s scent around the apartment, there would be no exceptions now that they lived together.

It was odd to not have Yuta-san’s familiar scent wherever he went, especially in the bedroom, where Yuta-san was beginning to spend more and more time. Though he normally didn’t notice it these days, it was obvious how strong it normally was now it was gone. As he sorted through the clothes and began working on the baby’s nest, he could tell the scent was being spread all over the bed and the rest of the room.

After a few more minutes, the room felt like it had before. Taeyong hummed in content, pushing aside what he didn’t need so he could start the nest over. Taking the first shirt, he laid it out on the bed. He took the thicker sweaters, rolling them up and forming a border around the shirt, the inside large enough to fit a baby. With another sweater, he made the bedding fluffier inside before tucking and tying everything to secure it.

It was okay. He ran his hands over the materials, admiring his attempt. Definitely a better attempt than before, he decided. And since it was Yuta-san’s clothes, their baby would feel good inside. If he added some of his clothes, the baby would love it even more when it was time.

A silly smile crossed his face and he shook his head, beginning to pull everything apart. The shirts ended up a little wrinkled but they wouldn’t be used for much else so it didn’t matter. He carefully folded everything and made enough space in at the bottom of the closet to put the clothes away. Since they wouldn’t wear these items, he could store it where it wouldn’t be seen. Later on, he’d buy proper storage containers or baskets to hold everything.

As he put everything away, he noticed how he’d made room on one half of the closet. It was a large closet and he didn’t have many clothes himself. He got rid of things regularly and stored out of season items in the space above. Since getting pregnant, he’d purchased more clothes that fit better and put away his regular clothing. It would be a while before he’d be able to comfortably fit into those again.

There was a lot of room for Yuta-san’s things in the closet and as he closed it off and turned around, he realized he’d made room for Yuta-san nearly _ everywhere _ else as well. His desk was small but there was enough room for him to push aside his work files and allow Yuta-san to put his things for school on the other side. One of the nightstands had a stack of books Yuta-san was reading and some of his other belongings, like his watch and some stray pens he used to make annotations. Taeyong’s things on the dresser were moved aside to allow Yuta-san to set out his various colognes and he knew that inside the drawers, half of the ties and accessories belonged to Yuta-san, taking up the space Taeyong’s couldn’t fill.

It was amazing and alarming at the same time. It sent off an entire zoo in his stomach and chills down his arms. He took a moment to breathe, inhaling deeply and feeling peaceful when the cinnamon tickled at his nose. He exhaled slowly, hand moving to his stomach where he felt a kick.

The baby was active as always. Ishigami-sensei had confirmed that he was moving down to prepare to be born and Taeyong had noticed how much his belly had dropped a few nights ago. As a result, he could breathe again, but he did feel discomfort in his pelvis at times and he needed to pee even more than usual. He felt a few false contractions at times but knew not to worry now, taking it easy when one hit him. It would only be a few weeks until he began to feel real ones.

There were still some preparations to be made still but nothing urgent anymore. With Ishigami-sensei’s help, they’d prepared a rough outline of a plan for when the day came. Taeyong had a bag packed already, in case things happened earlier than expected, and Ishigami-sensei was prepared to take care of them when it was time.

Taeyong hoped he could make it the last couple of weeks. As excited as he was to meet the baby, he was nervous about it. Despite taking the classes and reading on his own to learn what to expect, he was terrified of going into labor. As a male, he was more at risk for a multitude of complications and there was more chance that he wouldn’t be able to give birth naturally, which he wanted to.

Before he could continue to stress out about it, the door opened and Yuta-san peeked in. “Taeyong?” he asked. “Doyoung-san and Mizuho-san are here.”

“Oh,” Taeyong said, blinking a few times as he came back to reality. “Right. I’m coming.”

He made his way to the door and followed Yuta-san out to the living room. Mizu-chan was sitting on the couch and Doyoung was standing by the armchair. They looked over, smiles on their faces.

“Tae-chan! You look so wonderful,” Mizu-chan said, standing and opening her arms.

He made his way to her and embraced her. “Thank you,” he said as he pulled back. “It’s been a while.”

“It has been,” she said, taking a seat again, tugging him down by his hand as well. “Sorry I couldn’t visit earlier.”

Taeyong glanced toward Yuta-san, but he was talking to Doyoung quietly. Taeyong had seen Doyoung a couple of weeks ago but Mizu-chan hadn’t joined him due to work. It seemed as though he and Yuta-san were getting closer since then, which made him curious. He brushed it off, hoping to ask Yuta-san about it later, and looked at Mizu-chan.

“Doyoung said you were in Sapporo for work. How was that?”

“Tiring as always but I’m going to be staying home until the start of next year.” She reached for her purse and pulled something out. “Which is why we’re here!”

It was a pale purple envelope. She offered it to him with both hands. Taeyong’s name was written across the back in black ink in a nice script. He took it and flipped it over. A silver wax seal with a floral design held the envelope shut. Carefully, he opened it and pulled out what was inside.

It was a thick kind of cardstock with a simple design. Mizu-chan and Doyoung’s names were printed in the center, larger than the rest of the information on the bottom of the card. It was their wedding invitation. Taeyong read the rest of the invite. The date was at the end of August.

“Thank you, Mizu-chan,” he said, looking at her and smiling, “For coming over here to give this to us yourself.”

“Doyoung said to send it via mail but I wanted to see you before the new arrival!” she said, clapping her hands together before reaching for something on the floor. It was a gift bag and from the style, Taeyong could tell it held things for the baby. Mizu-chan offered it to him and he took it, setting it across his thigh. “We also brought some gifts for you and the baby. Doyoung said it was a boy so we picked some things out with that in mind.”

“Doyoung said that?” Taeyong asked. He hadn’t told Doyoung that they’d found out the gender of the baby. He looked over and found Doyoung sitting at the dinner table with Yuta-san. “Yuta-san must’ve told him.”

“I thought you did?” Mizu-chan waved her hand. “In any case, we hope you like it. I’ll tell you now that Doyoung picked most of it.”

“Is that so?” Taeyong smiled, knowing that Doyoung would deny the fact if he asked later on. He pulled the tissue paper out and set it aside before reaching back to pull out the first item. It was a set of blankets in neutral colors, labeled for nest making. “Oh! Thank you. These are wonderful.”

They had received plenty of blankets as gifts. The package that Taeyong’s mom had sent had several, among other things like clothes and little socks, and he’d received a similar package from his sister over the weekend. Still, he was grateful to have this many. There could never be too many blankets considering how easily they could get dirty.

He looked through the rest of the items, finding cute clothing sets and socks. Each item was in a different size, which he appreciated. Most of them were plain or had simple patterns and prints. Taeyong looked at the brand, noticing how it was one of the more expensive and popular brands. Leave it to Mizu-chan and Doyoung to outdo themselves, he thought.

“Thank you so much, Mizu-chan,” he said as he returned everything to the gift bag. “When he wears one of these, I’ll send you a photo.”

“You better!” She pointed a finger at him, admonishing. “I expect a lot of photos, Tae-chan! When is the due date again?”

Taeyong fumbled with the string handles of the gift bag. “June eleventh,” he answered. “We’re prepared for an earlier date, more or less.”

“It’s so soon,” Mizu-chan said. With a tilt of her head, she began counting on her hands quietly. “That’s… how much? Twenty days now?”

“Nineteen,” Taeyong replied. He’d been counting the days since the start of May and was too well aware of how much time was left. Yuta-san also had started counting down as well, marking each day off on a calendar in the kitchen. “Not too far off.”

Mizu-chan smiled. It was warm and comforting, as always. In the time Taeyong had known her, he’d come to see that she was the mothering kind of person. Despite being younger than him and an alpha, Taeyong could rely on her to help him through difficult things. She placed a hand on his arm and squeezed. “We can’t wait to welcome the baby,” was all she said and Taeyong felt himself calm down considerably.

He smiled. “Nineteen days,” he repeated. It was too close and it made him nervous but at the same time, he knew there was little to fear. He was prepared for this. “Say, Mizu-chan, why don’t you and Doyoung stay for dinner? I was going to start cooking soon.”

“I’ll help,” she said, letting him go and standing up. Taeyong followed and made his way to the kitchen. Mizu-chan stopped beside the table, telling something to Doyoung. He only nodded and smiled before returning to his conversation with Yuta-san. Mizu-chan came into the kitchen, hands on her hips. “So what are we making?”

* * *

Taeyong woke up every morning, knowing that the number of days left was smaller than the day before. Today the number repeated in his mind, over and over until it didn’t feel real anymore. The last day of May had come and gone, the first day of June coming to take its place in the morning, warm and bright. Not including today, Taeyong could count the days left on both of his hands.

Ten. Ten. Ten. _ Ten days. _

It almost made him sick to think about it. He was excited and after a couple more classes, he was as prepared as he could be. Haru-san, as well as Ishigami-sensei, had explained what would happen when the time came. And he’d practiced with Yuta-san.

The birth center where they attended classes would be where they would go since the Ishigami-sensei’s clinic was a bit far out. Ishigami-sensei’s clinic often worked with the staff at the birth center so she would be able to come in and help him when the day came. She suggested for them to test run a trip to the center, which they had done a few times over the week when Yuta-san came home from work.

Yuta-san was calm each time but Taeyong wondered how he’d be when it was the real thing. Taeyong was good at keeping his composure but considering he would be in pain from contractions, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to direct them properly. Taeyong’s parents would be here with them but they couldn’t rely on them. Taeyong and Yuta-san could only stay with them for so long before the baby was born.

“I promise I’m going to be calm,” Yuta-san said a few days ago.

“I doubt that!” Taeyong replied, swatting him on the arm. “Don’t promise things you can’t do!”

Ishigami-sensei had spoken to Yuta-san about things that only affected him, mentioning how different he would feel but that he needed to be the calm one. Taeyong would be in his most vulnerable state, which was terrifying, and Yuta-san would also feel just as defenseless as a result. Still, they couldn’t let each other panic.

He could only have faith that Yuta-san would be calm but seeing how he’d started getting antsy over the last few nights, Taeyong was beginning to think there would be some issues. Yuta-san had sorted through everything in their prepared bag, almost obsessively reorganizing Taeyong and the baby’s things inside about ten times in the last few days. He checked on Taeyong far more often, coming to sit wherever he was, wanting to touch and hold him. And when Yuta-san left for work in the morning, he lingered longer than usual, trailing behind Taeyong as he cleaned the table, and he had almost missed his train twice already. Taeyong knew it was what Yuta-san wanted to do as an alpha but he still found it a bit bothersome.

It could happen any day now. They were both aware of that. At any moment, both of them could be thrown into a frenzy.

“What’s most important is that you trust Yuta-san. And Yuta-san, you need to trust Taeyong-san,” Ishigami-sensei told them. “Everyone here wants a healthy and successful delivery, most especially you two as the parents. And to ensure that, you will need to have the utmost trust in one another.”

Taeyong wasn’t one to like losing control but he would have no choice. He needed to have confidence in Yuta-san’s abilities. Yuta-san knew what to do, just as much as Taeyong did. There was no reason to panic. He’d have to remember that and remind Yuta-san of it as well.

So they continued normally. Yuta-san went to work and returned after practice, immediately coming home to hug Taeyong. It was more affection than usual but Taeyong accepted it, knowing that after being apart for an entire day, Yuta-san only wanted to make sure he and the baby were okay. Yuta-san was more sensitive to Taeyong, his alpha instincts making his body naturally more aware than Taeyong’s of what was coming.

Taeyong didn’t long for Yuta-san the way Ishigami-sensei described he would. It had worried him but he’d turned to articles on the internet for an explanation, and there were plenty of articles and forums to answer his questions. Simply put, it was because they weren’t connected in any way besides the baby. Without something like a bond and being mates, the only person affected would be Yuta-san. He didn’t tell Yuta-san this, knowing it might bring his mood down. 

He was a little glad he didn’t feel bothered by it. He was anxious enough already. It was easier to redirect his attention this way, too. Over the last few weeks, Taeyong had picked up coloring. He’d sent Yuta-san out to buy him one of the various adult coloring books meant to relieve stress and a box of pencils. It was a good distraction and he enjoyed it, filling up most of the book. He’d also started finding different software to mix audio tracks, something he had learned to do in his early twenties when his interest in music was at its peak. The things he made weren’t spectacular but it was fun to mess around with things like that for a few hours.

Despite being able to jump into new and old interests, he wondered how it would be if he could be affected by it. Yuta-san’s school had offered him time off for such a reason. If they were mated, they would be able to spend all the time possible together and be at their most relaxed leading up to the birth. But they weren’t so there was no need for Yuta-san to be on leave. Even if it was at the expense of his comfort, Yuta-san insisted he continue to work for now.

Yuta-san’s insistence made it all the more obvious how much of a good person he was. He was willing to live through the anxiousness of being apart from Taeyong throughout the day to keep Taeyong comfortable and give him his space. There was no doubt Yuta-san was going to be a good dad if this was how he was acting.

Taeyong held the omamori in his hand a bit tighter. They’d gotten it on their visit to the shrine last month. Even if they weren’t too religious, they had asked for a safe and easy birth and delivery. They were a bit late since most couples went around the fifth month of pregnancy but Taeyong didn’t think it made much of a difference as long as they went. At least this way, they had another place to put their faith in, with the hope that things would go smoothly.

Everything would go smoothly, he told himself.

“Ah,” he exhaled, setting the omamori back down. “It’s no use.”

He stood up and stretched his legs after sitting for so long. Morisuke-san had emailed him regarding a project’s budget and it seemed too many things had gotten messed up during the transition last month for him to find the mistake himself without knowing what had happened the previous months. Taeyong had spent most of the morning after breakfast helping Morisuke-san through the phone, double-checking everything Morisuke-san sent him. Thankfully, it had been easy to find where the numbers went wrong once they started looking through everything thoroughly and he’d left the rest to Morisuke-san, who apologized profusely for bothering him before letting him go. After not having to focus on work for nearly a month now, it was a refreshing distraction.

Taeyong hadn’t felt excited to do anything afterward though, dozing off on the couch for an hour before waking up. He’d answered some messages from his mother. His parents would be coming in two days. It would be the first time Taeyong saw them face-to-face in nearly two years. Even though they insisted on staying at a hotel, Taeyong refused to have them spend more money than necessary when he had an empty bedroom in the apartment.

The guest bedroom had finally been thoroughly cleaned and prepared for Taeyong’s parents. Yuta-san had spent the last five nights beside Taeyong. He was a restless sleeper, Taeyong noticed. They’d only slept together a handful of times and Taeyong hadn’t seen him move much but it was clear now that Yuta-san liked to twist and turn in his sleep. It wasn’t hard to get used to. After the first night, Taeyong felt it to be natural. What he couldn’t get quite used to yet however was waking up and having someone’s arms wrapped around him.

Maybe it would lessen once the baby was born. Taeyong wasn’t sure whether he liked that or not. It was something to consider another day.

Right now, he needed to move, do something, _anything_. It was nearing a good time for lunch so he stretched once more before moving to the kitchen. He couldn’t find much to make but managed to gather everything for omurice. As he began to prepare his lunch, he made a mental note of asking Yuta-san to stop by the store for things to make dinner.

A couple of contractions came but they were almost unnoticeable, and their timing and strentgh wasn’t all too significant. He drank a glass of water and stretched a little bit more as he waited for the egg to cook in the pan. Since he was near the end of term, there was a bit of discomfort around his pelvis in combination with the aches and pains in other parts of his body. Sitting for a long time hadn’t helped. He finished cooking without much trouble, plated the egg on top of his rice, and moved back out to the dining table. 

Yuta-san was nearing his lunch hour so before he began to eat, he sent him a message, listing what he wanted to make for dinner. He set his phone aside and ate. But with the discomfort, he felt full after eating only a quarter of what he prepared.

He cleaned up quietly and returned to the living room, sitting down and turning on the television for background noise. He had gotten too used to Yuta-san playing his music or shows out loud to feel comfortable sitting in silence anymore. Curling his legs on the couch and pulling a blanket over himself, he brought his laptop back over his thighs, hoping to play some games.

The rest of the day passed by in a blink of an eye. He played for a while but when his eyes began to hurt, he turned off his laptop and took another short nap on the couch. A hard kick woke him up and he decided to go to the bedroom to continue his nap, sleepily putting together a sort of makeshift nest on the bed and climbing into it.

When he woke up again, it was to Yuta-san pushing back his hair. His hand was warm against Taeyong’s forehead and he hummed, leaning into Yuta-san’s palm before opening his eyes to look at him. Yuta-san had already taken off his jacket and loosened his tie. Behind him, through the window, Taeyong saw the last few rays of light. Just like that, he thought, another day was over.

“I’m home,” Yuta-san said.

“Welcome back,” Taeyong mumbled, eyes closing again. Yuta-san said something he didn’t quite catch before removing his hand. “What’d you say jus’ now?”

He heard Yuta-san come closer and felt the dip of the mattress, and then the warmth of breath across the side of his face. “What a cute way of speaking, Taeyong,” he commented, a breathy chuckle tickling Taeyong’s ear. “I asked if you napped all day and if you felt well-rested.”

“Yeah,” Taeyong said, sighing. “Still sleepy, though.”

“You don’t want to eat? I bought what you asked me to. I can cook for us tonight or order something.” Taeyong could barely process the words, still half-asleep. Yuta-san nudged him. “Taeyong?”

“Mm, no,” he finally said. “Not hungry, Yuta-san.”

“You have to eat,” Yuta-san insisted. He leaned in and Taeyong felt his lips graze against the shell of his ear, making him flinch away, an unintelligible complaint on his tongue. “Come on.”

It took a few more minutes but eventually, Taeyong was sitting up, rubbing at his eyes. Yuta-san had decided to order something since it’d be quicker. While he stepped out to get his phone, Taeyong tried to wake himself up. He found his phone and checked the time, surprised to see it was nearly seven o’clock. He’d slept the entire day and he still felt exhausted.

He got off the bed and went into the bathroom. He fumbled with the bathtub’s control panel, turning the water on for Yuta-san to use later. He washed his face with warm water and then went back into the room, seeing Yuta-san sitting on his side of the bed.

“I ordered something,” he said. He motioned to the nest. “You can sleep some more until it arrives.”

Taeyong wordlessly accepted, getting back on the bed and into the nest he’d made for himself. He felt Yuta-san looking at him curiously. “This is just for me,” he told Yuta-san, watching how Yuta-san’s eyes widened at being caught. “It’s big enough for me only.”

“Yeah but―” Yuta-san touched one of the sweaters around Taeyong. “―was using my clothes necessary?”

“They were the only thing around,” Taeyong defended, trying to will away the blush on his face. He had several options to make his nest but Yuta-san’s clothes had been the nearest thing. Taking out the blankets would have been too much of a hassle. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Yuta-san.”

Yuta-san only smiled and shook his head. He didn’t make a move to come closer, which Taeyong appreciated. Truthfully, if Yuta-san wanted, he could come into Taeyong’s messy nest, and Taeyong wouldn’t complain. But as always, Yuta-san kept his space.

It took a few minutes. Taeyong had a feeling Yuta-san knew. “Fine,” he said, catching the shy smile forming on Yuta-san’s face. He patted the spot next to him. “Come here.”

Yuta-san carefully came over, adjusting himself so they were sitting side by side on Taeyong’s half of the bed. He laid down with a sigh, tucking one arm behind his head. The other was laid out and when Taeyong looked over his shoulder to peer down at him, there was an expectant look on his face. 

Taeyong laid down, placing his head on Yuta-san’s bicep, and folded his hands over his stomach. “I won’t be able to get up again,” he said. He kept his eyes on the ceiling but he knew Yuta-san’s gaze was on him. “Just so you know.”

“I’ll help you up when the food is here,” Yuta-san said quietly. He turned away and Taeyong exhaled. “Did you have a good day?”

“After talking to Morisuke-san, I ate and played, then I slept. Nothing particularly interesting.” Finally, he turned his head to look at Yuta-san, taking in his side profile. The point of his chin, the sharp line of his jaw, the curve of his nose, the length of his eyelashes, how his lips protruded into a natural pout―all bathed in the yellow light that came from the fixture above them. Taeyong smiled a little. “What about you? Have a good day?”

“Everyone did their work,” Yuta-san said.

Taeyong hummed. “And?” He knew there was more to it, given how Yuta-san had pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as if debating something.

“One of my students asked about you,” he said. Taeyong waited and Yuta-san continued. “They heard me speaking with Tachibana-san in the morning. She asked me if the baby had been born already so at the end of class, one of the girls asked me when I was going to be a dad.”

“Ah.” Taeyong looked back up at the ceiling. “That could be troublesome.”

“I didn’t answer so don’t worry,” Yuta-san said with a sigh. And then, he laughed, light and breathy. “But then they all gathered and insisted I take leave when he’s born.”

Taeyong laughed himself, trying to imagine all of Yuta-san’s students ganging up on him in the classroom. “Do you think you should listen to your students, Nakamoto-sensei?”

Yuta-san grinned, snaking his arm out from behind Taeyong’s head and rolling onto his side, propping himself up. “Call me that again,” he said.

“No. Stop being weird,” Taeyong said firmly. He shifted on the bed to get more comfortable now that he didn’t have Yuta-san’s arm as a pillow. “Answer my question, Yuta-san. Please?”

“Honestly, it would be weird if I took my childcare leave now. Summer break starts in July. I’ll be home from then until August.” Yuta-san tilted his head, peering down at Taeyong. “What do you think? You want me to?”

Taeyong shook his head. “No, you’re right. It doesn’t make much sense to miss the last few weeks of school. You’d be doing your students a disservice by leaving them right before their midterms. A few days off is okay, if you can do that.”

They both thought about it previously and decided Yuta-san would continue working. If something came up and Yuta-san needed to stay home, he would but if things went without complication, Taeyong felt he’d be able to handle things by himself. And he would have his parents with him for a while. If there was trouble, he knew his mother would jump in. In the end, it was Yuta-san’s decision. They only got three chances to take leave for their baby for the next few years and they’d have to use each chance wisely.

“I’ve talked to the principal about it so she’ll be expecting it.” Yuta-san’s free hand came up, index finger and thumb gently grabbing Taeyong’s chin, turning his face to look at him. He was smiling. “Any day now.”

“Do _ not _ remind me,” Taeyong said, removing a hand from his stomach to grab Yuta-san’s wrist. He held onto Yuta-san, meeting his eyes. He couldn’t tell what Yuta-san was thinking. “Are you scared?”

“A little,” Yuta-san replied. “You?”

“Yeah,” was all Taeyong managed to say.

Everyone around him who’d already had children told him it was normal to feel anxious or scared. It was okay to be anxious, he knew that, but he wondered how much was too much. Taeyong hated being terrified and nervous about things out of his control. It wasn’t pleasant, having his mind wander to different possibilities and outcomes. There was no helping the situation and that was almost enough to make him feel like he was going to be sick.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked quietly.

Yuta-san only looked down at him. Taeyong kept his eyes on his face, looking carefully at every part of him, but nothing gave away what he might be thinking or feeling. He almost thought Yuta-san wouldn’t say anything else. “I’m very scared, actually,” Yuta-san confessed. “I don’t think any amount of preparation could help when our _ real_, tiny person arrives.”

“Tiny person? Yuta-san, please work on your vocabulary.” Yuta-san only stuck his tongue out and Taeyong snorted, letting Yuta-san’s wrist go to cover his mouth and contain his laughter. “The _ baby _ will be fine, you know.”

“I know that.” Yuta-san leaned in and Taeyong closed his eyes, inhaling sharply as Yuta-san’s nose grazed his temple. “Because he has you.”

Taeyong held his breath. “And you, Yuta-san,” he added.

“And me,” Yuta-san said. “Your friends and mine. Your parents.”

“Invite yours,” Taeyong whispered. He opened his eyes as Yuta-san pulled away. Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek, unsure of how Yuta-san would react if he pressed the issue. “And your sisters. It’s the least you can do, right?”

Yuta-san sat up. Taeyong could see the imaginary walls begin to build around him. He knew he’d been wrong to bring it up but he hadn’t meant to say it without warning like that. It’d been his reaction to the mention of his own parents. Taeyong knew he wanted his mom and dad to meet their son―he _ needed _ them to meet their son. Yuta-san must also have similar feelings. He’d come to learn that Yuta-san took pride in the best things about his life, and their son would be no different. To be unable to have his parents witness such an important moment must be weighing down on his shoulders.

“I don’t think it’ll be that easy, Taeyong,” Yuta-san said. His voice wasn’t cold and he didn’t seem angry. Instead, it was sad. Taeyong wanted to reach out and comfort him but before he could, they heard the sound of the doorbell. Yuta-san moved out of the nest and got off the bed, moving towards the door. “I’ll go get the food.”

Taeyong wondered if Yuta-san’s relationship with his parents had been damaged that much because of him. The last thing he wanted was for Yuta-san to sever ties with his family like that but he also didn’t want to interfere with Yuta-san’s family to try and fix it. It was far from his place to do so, but he hoped he could convince Yuta-san to at least ask his sisters to come within the next couple of days.

With a heavy sigh, he got up and stretched, sighing in relief. Without a word, he left the bedroom, finding Yuta-san setting out their food on the table.

“Sorry,” Taeyong said.

Yuta-san didn’t look at him but he did hum in acknowledgment. “You meant no harm. I know I haven’t told you the entire situation yet.”

“Still, I have enough information to have known better.” Taeyong stood behind his chair, holding onto the back tightly. “You can invite them whenever you like.”

Finally, Yuta-san turned his attention to Taeyong. “Nee-san and Haruna told me they wanted to come. I’ll talk to them to arrange their visit,” he said, coming around the table and taking Taeyong’s hands into his. “Just… give me some more time to convince my parents, okay?”

Taeyong tried his best to smile. “Okay.”

“Now, sit and eat. Are you still tired?” Yuta-san helped him sit down and for once, Taeyong allowed him to without much complaint. “You can take a shower first after.”

“You can go first,” Taeyong said. “I’m going to clean a little since I didn’t do much all day.”

They ate their food and when they finished, Taeyong insisted again on Yuta-san going to bathe first. He cleaned up quickly, tossing out the containers and washing the few dishes they’d used. He moved into the living room and picked his things up to bring back to the room.

He returned everything, making sure it was in order in case Morisuke-san needed something in the future. He fixed the bed, taking apart his nest. He had used Yuta-san’s old clothes to make it and he realized belatedly that he’d _ only _ used Yuta-san’s old clothes. Thankfully, the embarrassment washed over by the time Yuta-san came out of the bathroom, freshly showered and bathed.

“I left the water for you. Just warm it up,” Yuta-san said. He had a towel around his neck and was using it to dry off his hair. “Ah, how troublesome.”

“What? Your hair?” Taeyong asked.

Taeyong remembered how long it had been last year when they first met. It wasn’t extremely long but it had been a curious haircut. Yuta-san had maintained it for a while but eventually, it got shorter, reaching just below his chin and still long enough to pull up into a ponytail. It looked like it had been a few weeks since Yuta-san had it trimmed.

“It looks fine,” he told Yuta-san, catching him by surprise. “The long hair, I mean.”

“Really?” Yuta-san ran his fingers through his damp hair. “I like it but since summer is coming, it’d be too much to have long hair, don’t you think?”

The thought of Yuta-san with shorter hair intrigued Taeyong. The length now framed his face nicely but if it was shorter, Taeyong imagined he’d be able to see more of Yuta-san’s face. He was alarmed by how appealing the thought alone was. And he realized he had never really complimented Yuta-san in any way. Of course, he thought Yuta-san was attractive but saying something like that to him was another thing altogether.

“Yuta-san, you―” Taeyong cleared his throat, the heat spreading across his cheeks and to the tips of his ears, and he broke eye contact with Yuta-san. “I think you’d look very nice with short hair.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw the grin on Yuta-san’s face. “I wasn’t looking for a compliment but I’ll accept it,” he teased as he came around to stand in front of Taeyong. “Honestly, tell me, do you think I’m handsome?”

“_You _ certainly think you are,” Taeyong said. Yuta-san stopped Taeyong from sidestepping around him, holding him by the shoulder. He looked expectant and Taeyong huffed. “Of course I think you’re handsome, Yuta-san.”

“Thank you.” Yuta-san let go of him. “Sorry for making you say it but hearing that made me happy.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Taeyong said, going around Yuta-san and into the bathroom. He peered back out to look at Yuta-san once more. “I can’t say it too much or else it might get old, alright?”

Yuta-san nodded once. “Understood!”

* * *

Yuta-san returned from the salon around lunchtime, just as he said he would.

Taeyong would have joined him on his appointment but Morisuke-san had emailed him after breakfast. He’d been very apologetic, going on about how he felt guilty about bothering Taeyong during his time off, and on a weekend no less. Taeyong didn’t mind, enjoying jumping back in to do some light work. Their superior would be a bit miffed but Taeyong reassured Morisuke-san that he wouldn’t be in trouble. If they happened to speak about work outside of work hours, as acquaintances, it couldn’t be helped, right?

He’d reviewed the reports Morisuke-san emailed him and cross-checked them with ones from the previous quarter. It hadn’t taken too long and once he finished, Morisuke-san took over, telling Taeyong he’d work with Doyoung and Shiori-san for whatever was left.

His parents had woken up late and he’d told them to go out if they liked after they had an early lunch together. They never spent much time in Japan and he knew his father liked to visit the shops nearby for souvenirs to take home. His mom had been wary but Taeyong insisted he was fine being left alone until Yuta-san returned. He’d woken up calm and collected. The pressure around his pelvis wasn’t too bad so he was able to walk around without much trouble. Not even Yuta-san had complained much about leaving him behind today.

“Welcome home,” Taeyong said, getting up as Yuta-san stepped through the genkan. 

“I’m home,” Yuta-san replied.

Taeyong grimaced a little as he felt a contraction, much stronger than the ones he had earlier in the morning, but it dulled after a moment. Yuta-san looked worried for a moment but Taeyong waved him off. “I’m fine. Come closer and let me see,” he said.

He could see Yuta-san’s hair was shorter but he wanted to see it up close. Yuta-san came to stand in front of him and let Taeyong touch his hair. It was a little thinned out at the ends and was much shorter than when he left, ending at about the middle of his ear now. Taeyong reached around to feel the back but it was still long, not like it was before though.

“I like it,” he said, bringing his hands back and resting them on his shoulders. He met Yuta-san’s eyes and he was tempted to look away once he saw the happiness across Yuta-san’s face but he kept himself together. “You look nice.”

“I almost had the stylist put highlights in it to make me look cooler,” Yuta-san said, the most smug and teasing grin on his face.

Taeyong scowled and gave Yuta-san a small push. “Don’t joke like that. You’d look like a yankee or something, and at your age, it’d be even more terrifying.”

Yuta-san laughed, moving aside to let Taeyong walk past him. “Sorry, sorry!” He sat on the couch and sighed, stretching his body out. “How was your day? What happened with your colleague?”

“We figured it out quickly. Doyoung and another one of the team leaders are helping him with the rest,” Taeyong said, collecting some dishes from the coffee table. Yuta-san seemed to perk up at the mention of Doyoung and before Taeyong left to the kitchen, he narrowed his eyes in Yuta-san’s direction. “Tell me, Yuta-san, have you been talking to him?”

“To who?”

“Doyoung.”

Yuta-san shrugged. “Sometimes. Doyoung-san asked for my phone number so we’ve been messaging each other here and there throughout the weeks.”

“Doyoung? Asked for your number?”

“Yeah.” Yuta-san frowned. “Is that a problem?”

Taeyong shook his head. It wasn’t a problem but if Doyoung had been the one to ask, it meant he must like Yuta-san. Doyoung wasn’t a hostile or protective person but he did like keeping to himself more often than not and for him to go out of his way to message Yuta-san regularly spoke volumes. “Doyoung likes you, that’s all,” Taeyong said. “Have you talked to Johnny as well?”

“We have each other’s numbers but we haven’t spoken much.” Yuta-san tilted his head in confusion. “Should I not talk to your friends?”

“No, it’s fine,” Taeyong said, going into the kitchen. He placed his dishes in the sink and came back out, wiping his hands on his pants. “I’ve talked to your friends. It’s only natural, right?”

“Who?” Yuta-san frowned. “Tachibana-san?”

“Her wife, too. Jungwoo and Mark send me messages sometimes.”

“They both like you,” Yuta-san said, smiling. Taeyong waved him off, feeling embarrassed about it. Mark and Jungwoo were nice but he wasn’t sure they’d talked enough to make such lasting impressions, though he could say he liked them as well. Yuta-san left the topic alone, thankfully. “Oh, are your parents still here?”

Taeyong shook his head. “Dad wanted to go shopping. They took their car so they could go further into the city. He said they’d be back tonight and not to worry about waiting for dinner.”

“Ahh.” Yuta-san stood up and stretched his arms up over his head. “Do you want to go for a walk? We could stop at Kiosk for dinner.”

“That’d be great. Let me just change.”

Yuta-san nodded and Taeyong went down the hall. As he entered the bedroom, another pain shot up his back and lower abdomen. He stopped in the doorway, holding his stomach, waiting until it passed. It was just like the one before and he wondered if he had been sitting for that long. When it passed, he continued into the room and found something to change into. Hopefully, the walk would help it go away.

Taeyong changed and came back out, finding Yuta-san holding two bottles. He offered one to Taeyong and he took it, screwing off the lid to drink. The water would help ease the discomfort, too. Despite feeling the false contractions every so often for a few months now and getting used to the feeling, he hated it. Especially now.

“Are you ready?” Yuta-san asked, taking back the bottle and putting them into the small backpack Taeyong used to carry things for his doctor’s appointments.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

They left the apartment and as they went down, Taeyong sent a message to his parents in case they arrived earlier. Since it was a little later in the afternoon, it was a bit cooler and more bearable to walk under the sun. Yuta-san reached for Taeyong’s hand as they left the complex and started down the side of the road.

It was quiet but the park was near and they could hear the kids that were playing. Since it was Saturday, there were more than usual, most of them older as well. There were also more people walking about in general. Taeyong enjoyed coming out on the weekends and seeing their neighborhood busier than usual.

“We can go in a circle and stop by here, yeah?” Yuta-san asked, motioning to the small diner he’d mentioned.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Taeyong hummed. “It shouldn’t take that long.”

They walked by the park and moved down another street. About fifteen minutes into their walk, Taeyong had another contraction and they had to stop for a minute until it passed. Yuta-san held onto his hand and came to stand in front of him, putting the other on his shoulder, eyes filled with worry.

“Taeyong, are you sure you’re fine?” he asked. Taeyong took a deep breath and nodded. Yuta-san didn’t look convinced. “I think we should go home. You’ve been having them all day, right?”

“Yuta-san, that’s not necessary,” Taeyong said, weakly waving his hand. “I’ll be fine after the walk. Maybe I need to drink more water.”

Yuta-san let him go and pulled the bag from his back, taking a water bottle out. Taeyong took a few sips and handed it back, not liking the look on Yuta-san’s face.

“I’m _ fine_, Yuta-san,” Taeyong said. His voice came out annoyed and he sighed. “Sorry.”

“I trust you,” Yuta-san said. “But let’s cut the walk short, okay? And we can order from Kiosk.”

Taeyong nodded. “Okay,” he agreed. He knew Yuta-san had his best interest in mind and his feet were beginning to hurt so it was fine. “We can do that.”

They continued their walk, cutting through a small street to get back onto the one where the apartment complex was. Taeyong was distracted from the dull ache in his lower back and once the building was in sight, he sighed in relief. Yuta-san helped him up the few steps and they went inside.

Waiting for the elevator, another pain started in Taeyong’s lower back and moved to the front of his abdomen. He put his hands on his stomach and gasped. This was much stronger than the previous ones. “Y-Yuta-san,” Taeyong managed to say.

Yuta-san had a hand on his lower back, rubbing circles there. He leaned in and kissed Taeyong’s temple. “Just wait a little more, Taeyong.”

The elevator came down and they got in. Yuta-san closed the doors and pushed the button for their floor. He turned to Taeyong, the worry from earlier etched on his face.

“When was the last one? About twenty minutes ago now?” he asked. Taeyong only nodded, still feeling the pain lingering in his abdomen. “Ah, Taeyong… this is the real thing now, isn’t it?”

“I, I think so.”

Yuta-san kept a hand on his back as they got out and walked down to the door. He unlocked it and let Taeyong in first. Taeyong slipped off his shoes and walked inside, moving to the armchair. He heard Yuta-san close the door and fumble with his shoes before he appeared by the entrance.

“Should I call your parents?”

Taeyong shook his head and sat down. He felt himself relax as he was embraced by a familiar scent. “They’re still shopping. There’s no need to worry them right now if the contractions are still twenty minutes apart.”

“Right… you’re right,” Yuta-san said with a deep exhale.

Taeyong could feel him begin to panic, a sharp spike in the pheromones he was giving off. It was clear he couldn’t control them and this was what Taeyong had been worried about. Yuta-san needed to know he was fine and the baby was fine, get him to calm down and think clearly. He knew Yuta-san could do it, just as they’d practiced and just as he’d promised.

“Hey, hey. Yuta-san, don’t start freaking out now, okay? If you panic now, we’ll be in trouble. I know I look after you a lot but I can’t do that properly at the moment, you know?” Taeyong smiled up at Yuta-san, who was not amused at his joke. He reached for Yuta-san’s hand, only holding onto the ends of his fingers weakly. “You have to look after me for right now. Just as you promised. Stay calm, please.”

Yuta-san took his hand and interlocked their fingers before crouching beside the armchair. “I’ll try my best.” He dropped his head, their joined hands resting against his forehead. Taeyong was surprised by this and he nearly pulled away. “I’ll look after you, Taeyong.”

“Yuta-san…”

Instead of saying anything, Yuta-san brought his head up and pressed his lips to the back of Taeyong’s hand. “So just continue to trust me, okay?”

Taeyong swallowed hard. “Okay,” he said back.

Yuta-san was much calmer now. He waited a moment before he let go of Taeyong and went to get his phone, ordering something from the diner. There was a change in Yuta-san’s energy, something strong in his scent. Calm and confident, Taeyong realized. He knew he had gotten through to Yuta-san with his words but wondered if he also had any part in making him like that through pheromones he was unaware he was giving off.

Yuta-san said nothing more to Taeyong until he got off the phone to tell him what the diner’s owner said. They didn’t do delivery so he’d have to go pick their order up and Taeyong reassured him he’d be fine alone. It was only down the street so it wouldn’t take too long. Yuta-san left again, reluctantly letting go of Taeyong’s hand again, and Taeyong stood from the armchair, hoping that walking around the apartment would help him.

He felt fine in between the contractions. He was easily distracted by tidying up the dining table and the living room. He wiped down the counters and started on the dishes. Halfway through, he had to stop and hold himself up against the counter, huffing as another contraction moved through his body. He counted in his mind, trying to focus on that instead of the pain. It lasted a little over a minute.

How had he not noticed he’d been having regular contractions? He realized now he’d been having them since he woke up. They’d been very spread out but had gotten closer and stronger as the day had gone. He looked at the time and made a mental note of it. Straightening up, he turned the faucet back on and finished washing the dishes.

Once he was done, Yuta-san was returning, bags of food in hand. Taeyong let him set everything out and went into the bedroom to find his journal and a pen to note down the time from earlier. He’d track it for now and when they got closer together, he’d hand it off to Yuta-san. Maybe his mom or dad, if they came back in time.

“Taeyong?”

Taeyong turned and saw Yuta-san standing in the doorway. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” Yuta-san stepped inside. “You can go ahead. I’m going to fill the tub so you can take a bath after. That would help, right?”

“Yuta-san, that’s not necessary.” Taeyong tried to hold back the urge to smile when he saw Yuta-san determination. “Thank you. I’ll go ahead.”

He left the bedroom, leaving Yuta-san to do what he needed. As he sat down and looked at everything on the table, he realized he wasn’t too hungry but he didn’t know if he’d be able to eat later on. He waited for Yuta-san and when he came back out, they said their thanks and ate. Taeyong had another contraction as they ate and he had Yuta-san note it down in the journal once it passed. Yuta-san seemed alarmed but Taeyong promised he was fine. It just hurt in the moment was all.

Taeyong finished what Yuta-san had ordered for him and let Yuta-san clean up, going back to the room to enjoy a bath. He felt another contraction just before he undressed and went back to grab his journal once it dulled, noting the time.

“How far apart are they?”

“Still around fifteen minutes,” Taeyong said. “It could be hours, you know. I’ll take my bath and maybe sleep.”

“Shout if you need something, okay?”

Taeyong nodded and went back to the room. Yuta-san had kept the water in the tub warm and Taeyong was pleased once he undressed and sank into the water. Just a few minutes, he decided, and then he’d get out. It wasn’t too long until the water was beginning to get cold and his fingers were pruning at the tips.

He managed to dry himself and dress before feeling another contraction. It lasted well over a minute and left him hunched over the sink counter, grimacing. It took a moment to gather himself. Yuta-san was in the bedroom and Taeyong spotted the journal beside him on the bed.

“Yuta-san, the time. Check it,” he said as he stepped out of the bathroom and trudged to the bed.

Yuta-san wrote the time down and hummed. “About fourteen minutes now?”

Taeyong scrunched his face up. “Ugh. I’ll try to get some rest. We can leave when I wake up.”

“Should I call your parents now?”

“Please,” Taeyong whispered. There were some extra blankets on the bed from a nest he made earlier and he rearranged them quickly, not wanting to waste any time perfecting it. He looked around and found one of Yuta-san’s hoodies thrown over the back of the desk chair. He reached for it and pulled it over his head, sighing in content. Yuta-san looked at him curiously and Taeyong frowned at him as he got onto the bed. “Don’t say anything. I’m going to sleep now.”

He laid down, back to Yuta-san, and after a moment, he heard Yuta-san’s hushed voice speaking to his dad. He stumbled over his words and Taeyong almost got up to tell his dad himself but he kept his eyes closed and stayed silent. Yuta-san hummed when he didn’t know a word before replacing it with similar words and Taeyong held back his laughter, knowing Yuta-san was trying his best to communicate with his dad.

A loud sigh filled the room and Taeyong assumed the call was over. He felt Yuta-san come closer, an arm coming around his body and a hand resting over his stomach. “I called your dad. He said they’re coming back now to take us in their rental car.”

Taeyong hummed, leaning back against Yuta-san. “Thank you.”

“Now, sleep for a little,” Yuta-san whispered. His hand disappeared from Taeyong’s stomach but reappeared at his temple, the back of his fingers moving down to his chin before gently holding Taeyong’s chin. A soft kiss was pressed to his cheek. “I’m sorry for earlier but I’m here now, calm and collected, so don’t worry, okay?”

Taeyong was able to fall asleep quickly, something sweet tickling his nose as Yuta-san pressed his inner wrist to the side of his first. There was a faint hum echoing in his ears and the vibration of it against his back.

Yuta-san was here. He’d take care of Taeyong. He knew that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the baby is coming! What a surprise! Does this count as leaving you all on a cliffhanger? 
> 
> Please wait for the next part where Taeyong and Yuta-san’s _real_ tiny person will be introduced. I am _so_ excited to finish it up and get it to you all as soon as possible.
> 
> I supposed now is the time to place bets on names and such because he _will_ be someone you might be familiar with (wink, wink). I look forward to your reactions~!!!
> 
> Thank you for reading and as always, forgive my mistakes. Until next time, take care, everyone! <3


	13. And We Hold You up to the Sunlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another slightly longer chapter! It was a struggle writing parts of this chapter as the softer, fluffier scenes are not a strength of mine. I hope I did it justice and everyone enjoys it. 
> 
> Also, many of you correctly guessed who the baby! I am sure the chapter title makes it a little obvious now. But there is a twist to it… I hope no one minds this in the end. I am looking forward to reactions and I apologize if I let you down!
> 
> Today’s chapter title is taken from “Shaping up to Be” by Jasmine Rodgers.

Taeyong hadn’t expected to wait for so long.

It had been hours since they’d arrived and there was little progress but it was no cause for concern. A few people came and went a few times each hour to check on him. Ishigami-sensei had visited him to see him but hadn’t returned since. Taeyong was doing fine. He was still waiting a little over six minutes in between each contraction and while the massage had moved the dilation along, the last time they checked, he wasn’t near being ready to do anything but wait.

He was fine with waiting but Yuta-san was getting impatient. It was clear he was beginning to feel stressed out from the way the air around him changed, the spiciness in his scent much sharper than it was earlier. He had gotten restless, unable to sit on the chair or the bed beside Taeyong. It was all a bit troublesome and overwhelming. Taeyong suggested for him to take a walk outside but Yuta-san only gave him a firm ‘no’ so Taeyong left it at that.

Watching Yuta-san was interesting. He had looked around the room about four times now, looking over everything they were provided. When Taeyong thought he would sit down or grab one of the snacks laid out, he didn’t, only moving on to the next thing. He kept quiet, expression taut. The last young woman who came to check on Taeyong seemed to notice and before she left, she asked Yuta-san if the room was up to par with their expectations. It was the only time Yuta-san’s displeased expression fell and changed into something more apologetic for more than a moment.

The birth center was nice and much cozier without the machines and routines of a hospital. There were also plenty more amenities for them to enjoy. Taeyong was fine with laying in the large bed, dozing in and out on sleep. He had taken a second warm bath shortly after arriving and enjoyed some of the sweet snacks they offered with the room but wanted to get as much rest as possible. Yuta-san didn’t seem too interested in partaking in anything despite his constant checking. Taeyong’s parents, like him, had taken advantage of the snacks while they spent some time with them before going back to the apartment to rest at Taeyong’s insistence.

Taeyong nearly asked Yuta-san to leave with them as a joke but decided not to play with him after seeing how high-strung he was becoming. He’d tried to poke and prod some words out of him when he was awake but Yuta-san seemed too distracted to be able to form more than a couple words in response. There was no telling what Yuta-san was thinking now.

A sigh escaped past Taeyong’s lips after waking up from another small nap and Yuta-san’s eyes were on him in an instant.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s boring,” Taeyong said. He shifted on the bed, adjusting the pillow behind him to sit up a bit better. Yuta-san came over and helped him. Taeyong huffed as the dull ache began to get stronger again. “Ah, another one. Hmmm.”

Yuta-san held onto his hand as Taeyong gritted his teeth and breathed through the pain. While the pain wasn’t entirely unbearable, he was beginning to reach the peak of his pain tolerance. Or maybe he had already passed it and was unable to realize it due to the excitement of the situation. When it passed, Yuta-san squeezed his hand.

“Do you want to take a walk outside? The air could do you well.”

“My socks are in the bag,” Taeyong said.

Yuta-san retrieved the bag and pulled out the thick socks Taeyong packed. It was clear Yuta-san wasn’t going to let him do anything right now so Taeyong only watched silently as Yuta-san took his feet and carefully rolled the socks on. He helped Taeyong off the bed and offered him the robe he’d been given when he arrived.

“What time is it anyway?” Taeyong asked as they made their way to the door.

“Around two,” Yuta-san answered. “Maybe closer to three.”

They found the small courtyard easily and stepped out into the night. It was nice, maybe a bit on the cooler side for a June night. The moon was barely a sliver of a crescent high in the sky. Taeyong liked it. The walking helped ease the ache and it was even better with fresh air and such a pretty sight.

“Be careful,” Yuta-san muttered, wrapping an arm around Taeyong when he nearly tripped over his own feet after another painful contraction. Taeyong shrugged him off but Yuta-san reached for his hand and held it tightly. “Don’t be difficult now.”

“I’m fine, Yuta-san. I can still walk by myself, you know?” Taeyong looked at him, seeing how the moonlight lit up his face. His expression was calm. “I know you’re worried but I can do this by myself at least.”

“I know,” Yuta-san said. “But I told you once and I’ll tell you again. You don’t have to do it alone.”

Taeyong stopped walking and Yuta-san seemed surprised. As taken aback by Yuta-san’s words as he was, it was not the reason why he paused. Something warm began to trickle down his legs and when he looked down, he saw how the stone pathway around his feet had darkened from the liquid.

“Oh,” Taeyong whispered, blinking a few times.

“We should go back inside,” Yuta-san said.

Taeyong didn’t object, allowing Yuta-san to lead him back inside and to the room. While Yuta-san went to find someone, Taeyong wiped down his legs with a towel. Two young women came back with Yuta-san and they helped him back onto the bed.

Everything seemed to move much quicker from there. Taeyong was told to rest a little longer and he was able to sleep for a little under an hour before he was awoken by a sharp pain. It was unlike the ones before. He was definitely past how much pain he could handle. He moaned in pain, alerting Yuta-san in the armchair nearby. He rushed over, hand coming up to push back his hair before resting against his temple.

“It’s okay,” Yuta-san whispered.

Taeyong felt tears form in his eyes and when it passed, he blinked them away, sniffling. “Sorry, ah. Did you sleep?”

“I was about to but it’s okay,” Yuta-san replied. “I can stay awake a little longer.”

“You should go to sleep for―ah!” Taeyong cried, reaching up to grab Yuta-san’s hand as a second wave of pain coursed through him. Not even two minutes had passed between them, Taeyong realized as he took a few deep breaths. “Yuta-san, get someone, please.”

“I’ll be right back,” Yuta-san murmured. Taeyong let him go and watched him go through teary eyes.

He began to count but didn’t get to a minute before another wave of pain came up. It was indescribable. Taeyong squeezed his eyes shut and cried out, one hand on his stomach and the other grabbing a fistful of the blanket around him.

He wasn’t sure how long it took for Yuta-san to return but when he did, he was with a pair of ladies and an older man. They came over and Taeyong allowed them to check what they needed to. He felt weak and dazed, barely seeing anything through the tears and pain he was feeling.

“Taeyong?” Yuta-san’s voice came.

Taeyong hummed, head lolling to the side to find his face. Yuta-san was worried. He brought a hand to Taeyong’s face, his thumb running over his cheekbone. One of the young ladies came and he had to pull away, taking a step back from the bed. He disappeared from Taeyong’s sight as the young lady stepped up with something in her hand.

Something cool was placed over Taeyong’s forehead and he sighed in relief. Calm, reassuring words were said his way but he barely heard them as he cried through another contraction. A cold hand grabbed onto his own and he squeezed tightly. He was panting and it took him a moment to come back from his pained state, his blurred vision focusing on the people around him slowly.

“Okay, Taeyong-san, Ishigami-sensei is on her way. I know you want to start pushing but you can’t just yet. Wait a moment more,” someone said to him.

A moment felt like forever. Taeyong felt hot all over, overwhelmed by everyone around him. And each contraction came quicker and harder, and they seemed to last longer, leaving him a crying and panting mess.

“Yuta-san,” he managed to say, his free hand reaching out and patting the bed. “Yuta-san, come here.”

He felt the bed dip beside him and a large, warm hand take his. “I’m here,” Yuta-san said. “You’re doing so good, Taeyong.”

Taeyong managed to laugh. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t because of you,” he said, bringing Yuta-san’s hand up to his face. He pressed his lips against the back of it. “Just don’t go anywhere now.”

The door opened and Ishigami-sensei greeted everyone in the room. Taeyong turned his head and saw her in pale pink scrubs. She smiled his way but remained at the bottom of the bed.

Her questions were quick and short. Taeyong was able to answer most himself but when he was taken over by a contraction, Yuta-san answered for him. She got situated, asking the nurses to put some pillows underneath Taeyong’s hips, and then she said it was time to begin.

Taeyong’s legs were pulled open. Beside him, Yuta-san held his hand but his other rested on Taeyong’s knee, following Ishigami-sensei’s instructions on keeping Taeyong’s leg there. It was uncomfortable to have his legs spread so far apart but it also relieved the pain he was feeling. Taeyong could hardly feel embarrassed about having so many people there looking at him.

“Use the next one to begin to push, okay?”

“Okay,” Taeyong replied.

* * *

It was one of the most painful things Taeyong had ever endured in his entire life but when something―_someone_―was placed on his chest, he felt all the pain go away. One of the nurses brought a blanket over him and he could see how it was quickly stained by blood. Regardless, he brought his hands up to hold his baby in place. The nurse took the corner of the blanket and dabbed at the baby’s face to clean the blood off.

He was squirming and when Taeyong peered down, he could see his small mouth opening and closing, his cries choked back. It was almost worrying but the nurse beside him assured him it was fine. It would take a moment and it did.

The loudest, highest cry rang through the air. It was almost deafening.

Taeyong held onto him a bit tighter, feeling the tears form in his eyes. He patted his small back and the cries died down but he continued to squirm a little against Taeyong’s chest. Taeyong let out a few deep breaths as he took in the small scrunched up face. This was his baby.

“Taeyong,” Yuta-san said. He carefully moved the blanket up to see the baby. Taeyong took in Yuta-san’s expression. He looked completely awed, his eyes wide and almost twinkling with an unguarded happiness Taeyong had never seen before. “Wow.”

They were able to look at him for a moment more before he needed to be taken away to get checked on and cleaned up. Yuta-san got off the bed and followed after being told he could watch. Taeyong had a little bit more to do and he needed to get checked as well. Ishigami-sensei congratulated him and he accepted it as excitedly as he could.

Now that everything was over, he felt exhausted. His limbs were heavy and his eyelids even heavier. Despite this, after getting a quick check-up from Ishigami-sensei, a nurse helped him to the bathroom and he cleaned up as best as he could. The bed was quickly changed and he dressed in a new gown before laying back down.

“Rest for a while, Taeyong-san,” he was told. “Yuta-san will return with your son shortly.”

He fell asleep easily despite wanting to remain awake to see Yuta-san and the baby again. It was peaceful and quiet, finally allowed to have a dreamless rest for the first time in months.

It felt like he slept for hours when he woke up to Yuta-san’s voice. He was speaking quietly and his words weren’t directed to Taeyong. He listened quietly for a moment, keeping his eyes closed as he came back, becoming aware of where he was and how his body felt.

“I _am_ being understanding. I’m telling you I would like it if you came. I know Taeyong would appreciate it as well,” Yuta-san was saying. He sounded a little far away as if he were on the other side of the room. “Don’t say that. I won’t allow it… Look, I’m not going to force or beg you to come either. You know what? Just don’t come at all. I’ve never disrespected your family. You don’t get to disrespect mine.”

His parents? Taeyong wondered. He opened his eyes finally, taking in the light coming in from the windows, and he found Yuta-san at the foot of the bed, walking back and forth with a small bundle in his arms. Yuta-san was looking down, not noticing Taeyong.

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong said, catching his attention. He sat up a little to look at him better. “Were you talking to your parents just now?”

“Oh, did I wake you? Sorry.” Yuta-san rounded the bed and came closer. He climbed onto the bed carefully and sat beside Taeyong. “Did you sleep well? You were asleep for about an hour. It’s almost six-thirty.”

“Yeah.” Taeyong readjusted himself before he reached for the baby and Yuta-san easily let him take the bundle. He brought him to his chest, hand resting across the front, fingers reaching up to gently pinch at his cheeks. Taeyong smiled but when looked up at Yuta-san, it disappeared. “So? Were you?”

“I called your parents and they’re on their way. Your mom said they’d buy some breakfast for us.” Yuta-san hesitated for a moment. His lips were pulled into a tight line and his eyebrows were furrowed. “Then I called my dad. I don’t think they’re coming.”

“That’s okay,” Taeyong murmured. Yuta-san looked at him and Taeyong removed his hand from the baby to place it over Yuta-san’s. “Your sisters are coming, right?”

“I was about to call them and let them know. I’m sure Dad beat me to it the moment I hung up though.” Yuta-san gave him a weak smile. “I’ll figure it out.”

“If there’s anything I can―”

“Hey now, let’s not talk about that,” Yuta-san said. He wrapped an arm around Taeyong and leaned in, kissing his cheek. His lips grazed against Taeyong’s skin as he spoke. “You did amazing earlier. Thank you.”

“Yuta-san…”

“I mean it, Taeyong. I have a newfound admiration for you. Thank you for bringing our son into the world.” Yuta-san kissed him again but on the corner of his lips now. “I cried when you were sleeping.”

“I’m sad I missed it,” Taeyong teased. Yuta-san laughed and pulled back, but he kept his arm around Taeyong. In Taeyong’s arms, the baby stirred and Taeyong looked down at him. It was the first time he was really seeing him, taking in his small face, clean and soft. “He’s beautiful.”

“He’s very calm. I fed him and held him so hasn’t cried much,” Yuta-san said.

They sat quietly for a moment, looking down at the baby. He wasn’t even a few hours old and it was too early to tell whose features he had. Still, Taeyong couldn’t help but wondered if he was crazy to think he looked like him more than he did Yuta-san. Taeyong carefully ran a fingertip along his small lips and traced up his small, round face to his dark hair. His skin was soft and his hair even more so. So delicate, so pretty. 

Taeyong leaned down to kiss his forehead and caught the scent of a newborn. It was a specific scent, one he found he loved, but underneath it, there was a sweetness he knew would become more prominent as he became older. He loved this scent, too. It calmed him more than Yuta-san’s, he realized. It pulled him in and settled around him like a blanket, and Taeyong couldn’t wait to find out how strong it became in the future. The newborn scent would go away but this sweetness would remain forever.

Taeyong knew his life had changed the moment he’d been born but now he_ felt_ it.

It moved through him slowly at first, his mind and body too tired to take it in. But now everything was calm and he was able to hold his baby in his arms after months of waiting… No, he thought, after_ years_ of unknowingly waiting. He had wanted this moment his entire life, having seen the people around him get their own. The hope of becoming a parent that had seemed far away from him, consumed by his dedication to his work, lost to a wild youth and stifling aloneness in his adult life, was finally here. Finally… finally… _finally_, he was able to hold a child of his own. He was looking down into the face of someone he had brought into the world, of someone who was made of parts of him. So precious in his arms.

It was like stepping into the sun and feeling its light kiss his cheeks for the first time. Looking up and feeling an unmatched warmth take him over. It resonated through him, moving with the hard thump of his heart, the rush of the blood in his veins. He was filled with warmth, with light. It was unlike the kind Yuta-san made him feel and unlike the kind he felt with his friends, family, or work. This light and warmth were more graceful, more delicate, much more pure and beautiful than anything.

Untouched―no, untouchable―and still so bright and strong. Like the sun.

“He looks like you,” Yuta-san said quietly.

Taeyong looked at him, surprised Yuta-san noticed the similarities he thought about earlier. “Does he?”

“Yeah, look here.” Yuta-san gently brushed his fingertips over closed eyelids and eyelashes and then he carefully tapped the tip of his small nose. He traced the baby’s lips and circled his chin. Taeyong looked away from the baby and at Yuta-san, whose attention remained on the baby. His lips were parted slightly, his breaths a bit shallow, and there was no denying he looked happy. “Here, here, here, and also here. It’s like your face, I think.”

Yuta-san returned his gaze to Taeyong, making him look away. Taeyong’s face grew warm as he turned back down to look at the baby. Yuta-san’s hand moved again, tracing thin, wispy eyebrows and then along the side of the baby’s round face, stopping on the gentle curve of his jaw.

“Here and here,” Yuta-san said slowly. “It’s me, maybe.”

“You think so?” Taeyong asked. The heat across his cheeks went away slowly and when he was sure he wasn’t red in the face anymore, he raised his head to look at Yuta-san again. “He looks more like me?”

“Yes, and I’m happy he does.” Yuta-san smiled. Taeyong caught how his eyes moved down to look at his lips for a fraction of a second before coming back up. “Because you’re very, _ very _ pretty.”

Again, Taeyong looked away, inhaling sharply. “Yuta-san, don’t be inappropriate,” he muttered.

“I’m just telling the truth.”

They were silent for a few minutes, both of them looking down at the baby. He was sound asleep, tiny lips parted slightly and his chest rising and falling underneath the blanket he was wrapped in tightly. After a moment, Taeyong could see he was beginning to suck in air.

“He’s hungry,” he said.

“I’ll prepare the formula.”

Yuta-san got off the bed, moving to the corner where the small kitchenette was. Taeyong sighed as his gaze dropped back down. 

He felt a bit guilty he wasn’t awake for the first feeding but he knew it only would’ve brought him down. Ishigami-sensei had confirmed one of his fears. Natural feeding was going to be hard for him and if he decided to do it anyway, he’d have to use formula to fill in where his body came short. He’d beaten himself up over it but now, holding the baby, he didn’t mind much. It’d be the healthier route and therefore, the best one, he thought. 

Taeyong held him a bit tighter against his chest, just noticing how sensitive he was there. Despite how much he wanted to, he knew he couldn’t do it now.

Yuta-san returned with a small bottle. It was warm when he handed it to Taeyong, who carefully brought the nipple to the baby’s mouth and gently prodded until his small lips took it. A quiet suckling sound filled the room and Taeyong felt awed.

“He eats well,” he said, not being able to help the smile that broke across his face. Taeyong looked at Yuta-san. “So well.”

“Here, let me take a picture.” Yuta-san pulled his phone out and held it in front of him.

Taeyong allowed it, even though he was certain he looked like a mess. As he heard the click of Yuta-san’s camera, he realized it was the first photo Yuta-san would take of him, of _them_.

* * *

Ishigami-sensei came back shortly after he woke up and congratulated Taeyong, and that time he was able to accept it with a smile. She told him his body would take a couple of days to heal and return itself to normal, but he was fine. The baby was perfect, according to her. A healthy size and weight, which made Taeyong relieved.

She’d left after one last congratulation and Taeyong was able to relax, holding the baby. Yuta-san, despite his insistence on staying awake, had fallen asleep beside Taeyong until his parents came a little over an hour later. As excited as Taeyong was to see them, the smell of the food in the bags they held was more enticing. He hadn’t eaten in nearly half a day.

Taeyong handed the baby to his mother, who cooed over him immediately. She took a seat on the couch and rocked him in her arms, her eyes bright. Taeyong’s father at least greeted them as he handed over the food before taking a seat next to his mother to look at their new grandchild.

As Taeyong and Yuta-san ate their late morning breakfast, his parents spoke between themselves. Taeyong didn’t pay them much mind, focused on his food, but he paused when he noticed Yuta-san’s attention was on them.

“What?” he asked Yuta-san quietly.

“I’m just thinking,” Yuta-san answered just as quietly. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’ll worry if I want to,” Taeyong said. He sighed and placed a hand over one of Yuta-san’s. “Sorry. I know it’s a hard situation right now.”

Before Yuta-san could answer, Taeyong’s mother called out to them. They turned their attention to her. “Have you decided on the name?”

It took a moment too long for the question to register and Taeyong fumbled with it, stuttering out a few unintelligible syllables before Yuta-san answered. “We haven’t had time to talk,” he said. His Korean was less awkward after days of having to converse with Taeyong’s parents and Taeyong saw that his grasp on the language was stronger than he originally thought months ago. “But we did decide it would be Japanese.”

“Ah, of course!” Taeyong’s mother looked back down. Her hand rested over the baby’s front and her fingertips were hooked around the blanket by his face, tugging it down a little to better see him. “I suppose a Korean name would only be given as a courtesy.”

“Mom…” Taeyong pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. He’d discussed it with Yuta-san before. Even if the baby would be registered under a Japanese name, it was important for Taeyong to give him a connection, however small, to the place he’d been born and raised. “Yuta-san and I wanted you and Dad to choose that name for him.”

“Us?” she asked. When Taeyong nodded, she hummed before looking at Taeyong’s father. “What do you think?”

“We did have that one name…”

“You think so?”

Taeyong tilted his head to the side. “What name?” he asked.

“The name we were going to give you.” His dad took a deep breath. “Donghyuck.”

“Donghyuck?” Taeyong repeated. It was a relatively common name and still, he realized he hadn’t known a person with that name himself. He said it a few more times under his breath. Beside him Yuta-san copied him. Taeyong squeezed his hand. “Yuta-san? What do you think?”

Yuta-san didn’t look at him when he answered. “It’s perfect for him.”

Taeyong’s parents spent the rest of their time admiring the baby. When he got hungry again, Yuta-san prepared a new bottle and Taeyong’s dad fed him, all while Taeyong’s mom took videos and photos. Taeyong felt happy seeing his parents like this. It’d been a long time since they had a child to look after this way as the last person they had to baby being his niece, who no longer liked to be treated like a little kid.

After he fell asleep, Taeyong’s parents decided to leave. Taeyong gave them hugs as best as he could from the bed and Yuta-san saw them out. He returned alone and came back to the bed, keeping a little space between them.

“It’s mid-afternoon now,” he said with a sigh. “I’m going to go buy something to eat soon. Do you want anything specific?”

“Not really.”

Taeyong looked towards the large windows taking up one side of the room. When they arrived last night, the last bit of light was disappearing. Now, the sun was high in the sky, soon to make its descent over the horizon. The bed was too far for the sun to shine down on him and Taeyong was feeling a bit cold. His body was tired of remaining on the bed as well.

“Help me over there,” Taeyong said, motioning to the set of armchairs by the window. “I need to get off this bed.”

Yuta-san had an arm around his waist and even though Taeyong felt like he’d done it by himself, he knew that Yuta-san had basically carried him over. He settled into the chair, warm against his back and thighs. There was a slight ache there but it was easy to ignore. 

The sun was warm and bright. Taeyong turned his face up and closed his eyes, inhaling slowly. There was nothing like it, he thought. Having this kind of brilliant light kiss his face. It relaxed him beyond belief.

Across from him, in the other armchair, Yuta-san spoke. At first, Taeyong didn’t hear him. He opened his eyes and turned his attention to Yuta-san, eyes adjusting to not having the sun’s light on his face. He hummed in question. Yuta-san looked hesitant.

“Taiyo,” he finally said. “What do you think about Taiyo?”

Taeyong took a moment to consider it, turning back to look out the window. His eyes moved up, taking in the blue, cloudless sky. He squinted as he found the sun. Untouchable and still so bright and strong.

“I think it’s perfect,” Taeyong said.

* * *

Taiyo had seemed like a calm baby but Taeyong found that there was one thing that made him extremely fussy.

It was their sixth and last day at the birth center. Their stay had been rather calm and he was glad it was a smooth first week. Taeyong was feeling better after two days of rest and was able to walk around by himself, carrying Taiyo around the room while feeding him or trying to get him to sleep again. Taeyong had been nervous despite knowing what to do but the nurses showed him everything to refresh his memory and his confidence to do it alone came back a bit stronger. Overall, he was feeling better and his mind was clearer.

Taiyo was doing well too. His weight was checked the day before and he’d gotten a little lighter, which was expected. Soon, he’d be on his way to getting bigger. He ate well and slept a few hours in between each feeding. His nest was small and comfy, keeping him calm for the most part, but Taeyong made sure he was attentive when he wasn’t holding him. 

And they weren’t alone. Taeyong’s parents came and stayed with him through the morning until the afternoon. Yuta-san had taken some of his annual leave days to stay with them but for the last two days, Taeyong had asked him to return to work to avoid using them all. Yuta-san agreed but he would leave the club’s after school practice to his assistant coach. Taeyong knew Yuta-san wanted to stay here but Taeyong had his parents with him. It was only for a short period of the day that they wouldn’t be together.

This was where he found Taiyo was fussy. Taiyo, despite sleeping for most of the day and not even opening his eyes for more than a moment, seemed to know Yuta-san was not here with them. It surprised Taeyong at first. His cries suddenly pierced the air and Taeyong was certain that the people in the rooms around them could hear him.

There was no easy way of getting him to stop the first time. No matter how nice he made Taiyo’s nest or how close to his bare chest he held him, Taeyong couldn’t get Taiyo to calm down. It overwhelmed him that first day but early yesterday, he realized only one thing had changed: Yuta-san wasn’t here. And his scent wasn’t as strong in the room now and when Taeyong smelled the blankets Yuta-san had scented beforehand, he realized it had faded from them as well, masked over by Taiyo’s newborn smell. Of course, Taiyo wouldn’t be calm this way.

When Yuta-san came in the afternoon and held him yesterday, it was clear Taiyo was finally content after causing Taeyong trouble for the last few hours. He hadn’t cried the rest of that night, cradled in a nest made of the suit jacket Yuta-san had worn, his scent strong on it. It was only slightly infuriating and he was only a little annoyed when Yuta-san teased him about it after he told him what he’d learned.

Taiyo could not already have a preference for a parent. _How _could he already have a favorite? He wasn’t even a week old. Taeyong didn’t think it was fair. Why Yuta-san? Why not him?

“He doesn’t even smell_ that_ good,” Taeyong muttered down at Taiyo in his arms. In response, Taiyo yawned, the sight melting Taeyong’s heart. It was a lie, of course. Yuta-san smelled delightful. He knew Taiyo would agree if he could. Did Yuta-san have them both wrapped around his finger? Taeyong huffed. “Tch, how troublesome.”

He would be alone for most of the day today. His parents were spending the morning at the apartment, cleaning everything for their arrival back home. Yuta-san’s sisters were also coming later in the evening and Taeyong wanted to welcome them in a clean home. He couldn’t make another bad impression on them.

It was a little nerve-wracking but Yuta-san’s sisters seemed to be more accepting of him than their parents were. Yuta-san showed him the messages they exchanged in their group texts last night, and both of them were very excited to make their way up to Tokyo for the weekend. Momoka-san’s husband and kids were also coming and she expressed their excitement for their trip in her messages as well.

Taeyong could only hope things went smoothly. It could be a little bit too much for Taiyo, to have so many new people around him, but Taeyong was prepared to take care of him if he got a little stressed out. Their friends had been notified after their parents and even though they wanted to come and see him this week, Taeyong preferred to keep the people Taiyo was around limited for right now.

After Yuta-san’s sisters left, they’d invite friends over to meet Taiyo. They both had sent several photos and videos to appease the requests of seeing him, and that would have to be enough for the moment. Taeyong wasn’t too eager to let his baby be carried by people that weren’t him or Yuta-san. Even with his parents, he was a bit wary despite knowing they had no ill intentions of hurting Taiyo.

“I guess I’m a little protective, aren’t I?” Taiyo was asleep in his arms. Taeyong sighed. “This is what it’s like to be a parent, isn’t it?”

Taeyong didn’t know he could be so defensive about something or someone the way he was now. It had taken a couple of days to settle but now that he was well-rested and fully aware of his new reality moving forward, an intense need to keep Taiyo to himself kicked in. He couldn’t be far from him for more than a few minutes. If Taiyo was in his nest, Taeyong remained beside him, half-distracted but close by. And if Taiyo wasn’t in his nest, he was in Taeyong’s arms.

When he needed to hand Taiyo off to a nurse or his parents, he felt jittery. He paid more attention, watching closely at how Taiyo was handled. He had to force himself to keep his hands to himself. It felt like he couldn’t breathe. Only when he had Taiyo back in his arms was Taeyong able to inhale and exhale normally. 

But today, it would only be him and Taiyo until the afternoon when it was time to go back home. He was happy that he had an entire week to rest but he missed being in a familiar place. Taiyo would also feel much better in a space that was filled with more things that had a stronger smell of them. Taeyong hoped that going back home, Taiyo would not miss Yuta-san as much. There was much more of Yuta-san at home to comfort them both.

The day passed slowly after he had breakfast, courtesy of the services provided by the birth center. Taiyo had a bottle in the morning and Taeyong put him in a new nest to sleep. Since they would leave as soon as Yuta-san and his parents came, he needed to have everything packed up.

He was a little apprehensive of leaving Taiyo in his nest on the bed alone while he showered but he found that if kept the door to the bathroom open, he could keep an eye on him just fine. Taeyong showered and took a quick bath before changing into the clothes his mother brought for him yesterday morning. Even though it was warm outside, he was covered up completely.

Stepping back into the room, he continued to pick up their belongings. The bag they had prepared hadn’t been nearly enough to hold everything Taeyong ended up needing. Everything extra was mostly blankets and clothes, which he quickly packed into the small suitcase Yuta-san had brought from the apartment. Another bag held Taeyong’s laptop and other things he’d been using for entertainment. It didn’t take him long to put everything together and he was just in time for Taiyo’s next feeding.

He’d kept a bottle in the warmer and after he checked it, he picked Taiyo up and brought the bottle to his lips. Taiyo latched onto the bottle well and Taeyong sighed in relief, walking to the armchairs by the window. He sat down, eyes wandering to look out the window as Taiyo continued to drink the formula.

It was another nice day. The sun was nearly at its highest point in the sky and the light was warm against the side of his face. Taeyong readjusted himself so none of it bothered Taiyo. He was looking up at Taeyong with his big, round eyes.

Days ago, when Taeyong saw Taiyo open his eyes properly for the first time, he had fallen in love. He’d never been so sure about loving someone with his entire being. Taeyong knew Taiyo’s appearance would change the older he got but he was sure his eyes would remain this magnificently dark brown, almost black, and the twinkle that appeared when the light fell upon his small face in the right way would remain forever. Taeyong was in love, overwhelmingly so. He’d never seen eyes like this.

Taiyo blinked up at him a few times. He slowed down in his eating and Taeyong pulled the bottle away from his mouth. Taiyo didn’t seem to mind. His eyes were fixated on Taeyong’s face. For a moment, it looked like he met Taeyong’s eyes but when he blinked, they were focused on another part of his face.

Taeyong remembered something Ishigami-sensei told him and Yuta-san. “Baby will love looking at your faces, especially your eyes. He won’t recognize you just yet, but he will know it’s you holding him just from your scents. Newborns have a keen sense of smell.”

He began to get a little squirmy so Taeyong brought him up and patted him on the back a few times until he heard a small burp. Taiyo’s eyes began to flutter as Taeyong began to rock him then. It didn’t even take a minute before he was asleep. Taeyong stood and returned him to his nest, fixing his swaddle. He could also use a little more sleep, he thought as he laid down on the bed beside the nest.

When he woke up and opened his eyes, Yuta-san was reaching for Taiyo. He brought him up and cradled him against his chest. “Hey,” he said when he noticed Taeyong was awake. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah.” Taeyong sat up and rubbed at his eyes. If Yuta-san was here, it was already the afternoon. His parents would be coming to get them in their rental car to go back home soon. “Did you just get here?”

“Not even five minutes ago.” Taiyo began to whine and Yuta-san smiled down at him. “Now, now, Tai-chan. No need to be fussy. Are you hungry again?”

“Yuta-san, please don’t call him that,” Taeyong murmured, watching as Yuta-san crossed the room to grab one of the bottles Taeyong prepared earlier from the small fridge.

Yuta-san put the bottle in the warmer before turning to him. “Why not?”

“I don’t know.” Taeyong huffed when Yuta-san gave him a blank expression in response. He began to take apart the nest on the bed, folding everything neatly and smoothing his hand over. “I just don’t like it. I know it’s the obvious nickname but―”

“What did your dad call him the other night?” Yuta-san interrupted. “Chan-something?”

“Oh, that,” Taeyong remembered it. Once they decided on Taiyo’s name and announced it to Taeyong’s parents, Taeyong’s dad asked for the meaning of it. He’d been quick to find a nickname for Taiyo. “Haechan.”

“Haechan?” Yuta-san repeated it a few more times under his breath. “Does it… have a meaning? In Korean?”

“Full sun,” Taeyong said. He smiled at Yuta-san. “It’s close enough, right?”

“Huh…” Taiyo was calmer now as Yuta-san grabbed the bottle and brought it to his lips. Yuta-san’s attention was on Taiyo and Taeyong wondered if Taiyo was looking up at him with those pretty round eyes of his. “Little Haechan. Do you like that more than Tai-chan?”

“Significantly.”

“I was asking him, Taeyong.”

Taeyong huffed again. “My bad.”

Yuta-san’s phone beeped and Taeyong motioned toward it in question. When Yuta-san nodded, Taeyong grabbed it and looked at the screen. It was a message from his dad, informing them that they were outside now.

“They’re here,” he said. His gaze stayed on Yuta-san’s phone. Behind the preview of the message, he found the picture Yuta-san took of him and Taiyo. The screen went blank but he pressed the home button and swiped the message away to see it better. “What’s this?”

“What’s what?”

He couldn’t remember when he’d last taken a photo of himself or had one taken of him. Maybe when they were in Osaka and Yuta-san insisted on taking pictures of him in front of landmarks. But he looked entirely different in those. Here, Taeyong looked tired in the picture but he was still smiling. And it looked genuine. He could see the feeling reached his eyes. It took him by surprise. He hadn’t seen himself this way in years.

“This,” Taeyong murmured, raising Yuta-san’s phone to show him. “When did you do this?”

“Oh, I only changed it yesterday. I didn’t know which one to choose.”

“What was it before?”

Yuta-san shrugged. “Just something else.”

“Okay,” Taeyong said slowly, narrowing his eyes. He’d leave Yuta-san alone this time, despite the feeling he knew what it might’ve been before. Going by the sudden redness across Yuta-san’s face, his suspicions were probably correct. “Let’s go then.”

Taeyong packed what was left and took Taiyo from Yuta-san as he finished feeding him. Yuta-san grabbed the suitcase and the other large bag. Before he could reach for the smaller one, Taeyong took it, adjusting the strap over one shoulder. He ignored Yuta-san’s disapproving look and made sure Taiyo was comfortable in his hold.

It had been a calm week but who knew what would happen when they returned home. Home would be a new environment for Taiyo and he’d been meeting more new people soon. Taeyong didn’t want to think of the negative so he pushed it aside and followed after Yuta-san.

They were accompanied by one of the nurses to the front and Taeyong thanked everyone they came across that he recognized. It was an easy process to check out. Most of the cost had been paid for from the allowance they’d received and whatever remained was charged to Yuta-san’s card. After ensuring everything was fine, they were able to leave.

He spotted his dad outside easily and he came over to take the bag Taeyong was carrying. He helped Yuta-san put everything into the back while Taeyong got into the backseat, careful not to jostle Taiyo around. His mom was there and in the center of the backseat, a car seat was already put in place. It had been a last-minute purchase on his parent’s behalf for bringing Taiyo home.

“Here, let me help you,” she said, taking Taiyo and putting him in the seat. He whined a little but didn’t wake up. She clipped the belt over his small body and gently patted his chest. “There, there, Haechan.”

She was different. Taeyong noticed it in how she smiled at Taiyo now. Growing up, he’d never received such a look. He’d been loved as a child and he still was but there was no denying that his parents, particularly his mom, loved Taiyo differently. It was the same way they loved his sister’s children.

“He looks like you did as a baby,” she whispered.

“Huh? He does?” Taeyong looked at Taiyo again, wondering. “I don’t even remember how I looked like.”

His mom laughed. “When we go back home, I’ll send you some photos of when you were born so you can see for yourself.” 

She continued to look over Taiyo during the car ride. Taeyong took the opportunity to message his friends about his return home, receiving overjoyed responses and more congratulations. When he was finished, he simply stared at his phone screen. The image he had as his wallpaper wasn’t especially interesting. It was one he’d taken in Osaka in January. An image of Osaka Castle with a gray, cloudless sky as the background.

The screen went black, showing him his reflection, and he slipped his phone back into the pocket of his jacket, wondering if Yuta-san would send him the pictures he’d taken a few days ago. He looked back at the car seat and found Taiyo awake. His mom was wiggling her fingers in front of his face and he blinked a few times.

“He’s so cute,” she cooed, softly poking his chubby cheeks. “My cute baby.”

Taeyong smiled, bringing a hand up to hide it. He quietly watched as she continued to wave her fingers in front of him. She leaned in and Taeyong saw how Taiyo’s eyes locked onto her face, taking everything in. It only lasted a moment but she was very happy, offering compliments left and right.

They arrived home and Taeyong took Taiyo out of his seat, keeping him close as he got out of the car. He went ahead with his mom, leaving his dad and Yuta-san to get the bags. It felt like he’d been gone forever, even though it’d only been a week. His mom unlocked the door and let him step in first.

“We’re home,” Taeyong whispered down to Taiyo. He took his shoes off and stepped further inside. Behind him, his mom turned the lights on. “Ah, how nice it is to be home.”

It was tidy but it still strongly smelled of Yuta-san, with hints of his parents’ scents underneath. Taeyong took a deep breath, all the anxiety he’d been feeling melting away. In his arms, Taiyo remained calm. His eyes were beginning to flutter shut again.

“I’m going to change him and put him to sleep,” Taeyong told his mom before going down the hall and into the bedroom.

The room had remained untouched by his parents. Only Yuta-san had come in here over the week to get ready for work early in the mornings. The bed was done but there were different items of clothing strewn about, both his and Taeyong’s.

Taeyong sighed, moving towards the bed. He placed Taiyo down and carefully unwrapped the blanket from around him. His short arms stretched out, tiny fists by his head, and his legs kicked out. Taeyong had dressed him in a simple long-sleeved bodysuit in the morning but since he’d be meeting Yuta-san’s sisters soon, Taeyong wanted him to have something a little cuter on.

The dresser that held Taiyo’s things was close enough that he could turn and reach without moving too far from the bed. He grabbed one of the diapers and searched for something cute to put him in. Taiyo began to whine and Taeyong grabbed something he recognized. It was one of the bodysuits Doyoung and Mizu-chan had gifted them. It was grey with small teal stars all over it. 

“Now, now,” Taeyong murmured as he turned back to Taiyo. He was still a bit clumsy in his movements, fumbling with the buttons of the bodysuit. Taiyo was not impressed with his speed, beginning to cry as Taeyong changed his diaper. “I know it’s cold. Give me a moment.”

Taeyong’s confidence had increased over the week but he remained too aware of how easy it would be to accidentally hurt Taiyo. It took a moment to take the bodysuit off and this did not make Taiyo any happier. He cried a bit louder, his little face getting redder by the second. Taeyong tugged the new bodysuit over his head and pulled it down over his body, snapping the buttons together as quickly as he could. The bodysuit came with a pair of matching pants the same color as the stars and he managed to get onto Taiyo without much trouble. 

Now that he was dressed, Taiyo was quiet and he let Taeyong take a picture. He knew Mizu-chan would love to see him wearing the gift she and Doyoung for him later on. Taeyong swaddled him back up after taking a few decent shots. Taiyo blinked up at him when he was picked up. Taeyong smiled and began to bounce Taiyo in his arms. It took a few minutes of eye fluttering before Taiyo was asleep.

The small bassinet they’d purchased was ready by the bed and Taeyong laid Taiyo down, double-checking the blanket around him to make sure it wouldn’t come loose. Taiyo’s face twisted up in displeasure and Taeyong pulled back, leaving him alone. 

With a sigh, he stepped back and began to clean. It didn’t take long and by the time he was finished putting away some clothes Yuta-san had left laying out, Taiyo was waking up again. Taeyong hushed him as he brought him up and to his chest.

He could hear Yuta-san and his mom talking outside in the main room. It’d been a few hours since Taiyo had eaten so Taeyong headed out, finding Yuta-san sitting at the dining table and his mom setting out some snacks. 

“Oh, Taeyong, come eat.” Yuta-san waved him over. “Your dad went to buy something for dinner but your mom had some snacks for right now.”

“Taiyo needs to eat first,” Taeyong said.

Before he could step into the kitchen, his mom held a hand up. “I’ll have a bottle ready in a few minutes. Sit and have something, Taeyong. Your face is too thin.”

“My face is not too thin,” Taeyong complained but he took a seat anyway. Yuta-san seemed to hold back a laugh and Taeyong scowled at him. “You, be quiet.”

Yuta-san’s smile didn’t disappear. Instead, it seemed to get wider. “Your mom is right,” he said with a shrug. “Your face was round but it’s not as much anymore. You changed so much in a week, Taeyong. Eat up.”

“Fine,” Taeyong said, ignoring the delight on Yuta-san’s face. He reached for one of the chips and as he ate it, he realized they were the kind he used to eat in South Korea. They were impossible to find in Japan, meaning his mother had brought them and hid them until now. He took some more, chewing slowly, and noticed Yuta-san staring at him. “What?”

“Just eat some more.”

“I’ll eat all of them.” Taeyong schooled his expression, bringing his lips into a tight line, and blinked at Yuta-san. “And my face will get round again. Is that what you want?”

“I know another way that’ll keep your face full for a while,” Yuta-san said, voice lower. “The rest of you as well.”

Taeyong frowned when he realized what Yuta-san meant. “Yuta-san, my mom is over there and Taiyo is right _here_. Please don’t be inappropriate.” Taiyo began to whine and Taeyong glanced down at him, bouncing him and shushing him quietly. When he calmed down, Taeyong returned his attention to Yuta-san. “Besides, _that_ way isn’t possible for another six months.”

Yuta-san laughed and Taeyong huffed. His mom returned but she didn’t seem to have heard their conversation. She handed him a bottle and Taeyong thanked her, bringing it to Taiyo’s lips. She excused herself and disappeared down the hall. Yuta-san continued to eat and watch, humming a song Taeyong somewhat recognized.

“Hey, Taeyong,” he said after a while.

Taiyo was just about done and Taeyong pulled the bottle away, using a corner of the blanket to gently wipe his mouth. “What?” he asked as he did so. When Yuta-san didn’t continue, he looked up in question. “Yuta-san?”

“I was thinking. Now that Taiyo is here, maybe we should consider getting married or just become―”

Yuta-san’s phone began to go off, startling them all. Taiyo let out a wail and Taeyong stood up, shushing him and walking to the couch. Yuta-san muttered something under his breath as he pulled his phone out and answered.

From what he heard, their guests were nearly here. Taeyong didn’t make out anything else, focused on calming Taiyo down. It took a moment before he grew quiet, blinking up at him with teary eyes. Taeyong smiled and gently wiped away any tears. He lifted him and placed him against his chest, patting his back.

“They’re almost here,” Yuta-san said. Taeyong looked in his direction but he avoided making eye contact. “I’m going to step out and see if I can find them.”

“Okay.”

Yuta-san stepped out and Taeyong was left alone with Taiyo. He sat down on the couch and brought Taiyo back into a cradling position. He was getting sleepy again. Taeyong hoped their guests wouldn’t mind if they had to wait to meet him.

As he rocked Taiyo to sleep, his mind drifted back to what Yuta-san was saying before he got interrupted. He said something about getting married. Since Taiyo was here, they could begin to discuss it properly. Taeyong figured it would still be a while away but if Yuta-san proposed now, he was sure enough in his feelings to accept it.

But what else was he going to say? Just become… what?

“What else could there be?” Taeyong asked, eyes on Taiyo asleep in his arms. “What else?”

And it came rushing to him like a train. No way. Yuta-san couldn’t possibly be considering making such a big jump in their relationship. It would bring them together in a stronger way than marriage would but it’d make everything so much more difficult as well.

He blinked a few times, turning his gaze up to stare across the room at nothing in particular. “Mates, huh,” Taeyong wondered out loud. “Is that what he was going to say?”

* * *

To say that Yuta-san’s family was excited to meet Taiyo was an understatement. They arrived with many gift bags that Yuta-san took to the bedroom for them to open later and then they ate dinner. Taeyong’s parents took a liking to Yuta-san’s family, though they were not being able to communicate clearly with them. When they finished, Taeyong and his parents cleaned up while Yuta-san caught up with family in the living room. Taeyong invited them to stay out but his mom claimed they were tired, despite the early hour.

Taeyong thanked his parents and wished them a good night. He stepped into the bedroom where Taiyo was sleeping in his bassinet and brought him out. He knew that Yuta-san’s family was dying to see Taiyo and waiting through dinner only made it harder to wait. Momoka-san was nearly jumping on the balls of her feet in her enthusiasm when they arrived. 

She and her husband were the first to carry Taiyo. They both cooed and awed over him, showing their kids his little face and introducing them. Haruna-san sat beside Momoka-san, peering over her shoulder, quieter in her compliments but still just as amazed. Taiyo was awake and looking around, finding the source of each voice as they spoke above him. The uneasiness of having someone else hold him returned to Taeyong and he remained standing close to the couch, a nervous smile on his face. They didn’t seem to mind him hovering but when he still didn’t move away after some minutes, Yuta-san came over, taking him by the elbow.

“We’re going to get some tea,” he said, tugging Taeyong along to the kitchen. When they were away from everyone, Yuta-san ran his hand down from Taeyong’s elbow to his wrist, fingers wrapping around it loosely. “Taeyong, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he said, shaking Yuta-san off.

“Are you nervous?” Yuta-san grabbed him by the bicep, tighter this time. “About letting them hold Taiyo?”

Taeyong stared at Yuta-san’s face. There was no judgment and he didn’t seem upset. He let out a heavy sigh. “Of course I am,” he said. “That’s just… instinct. You feel it, right?”

“Yeah,” Yuta-san exhaled, “I do.”

They stood there for a moment, staring at each other. It was comfortable and for a moment, Taeyong felt all the restlessness go away. He saw it leave Yuta-san as well, noticing how his shoulders fell after a deep breath and how his hold loosened. A calmer expression took over his features. There was clarity in his eyes, too.

“It’s okay, right?” he asked.

Taeyong nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

Yuta-san smiled and stepped closer, pressing their foreheads together. His hand came up to his jaw, holding Taeyong in place. Taeyong closed his eyes, head tilting slightly to lean into Yuta-san’s touch. He inhaled slowly, holding it for a moment before he released his breath. Yuta-san did the same and Taeyong felt the hot air fan over the bottom half of his face.

It was okay.

They pulled back. When Taeyong opened his eyes, Yuta-san’s were already staring at a place on his face. A smile slowly formed on Taeyong’s face. Yuta-san’s gaze flitted up to meet Taeyong’s for a second before returning his attention down. And then they moved at the same time, trying to close the gap between their lips, eyes closing once again.

It was a soft press of lips at first, the first in the entire week. Taeyong hadn’t realized how much he had missed something as small as kissing Yuta-san. He’d been focused on Taiyo and Taiyo only. Both of them were focused on Taiyo and for the foreseeable future, everything would revolve around him. If having a moment alone in this one week had been this hard, finding one in the future would felt like an impossible task.

Yuta-san’s free arm wrapped around Taeyong’s waist, pulling him closer, and Taeyong let out a sound of surprise. Their noses bumped as Yuta-san turned his head, using the chance to press further into Taeyong’s mouth. Taeyong clutched at the back of Yuta-san’s shirt, trying to get even closer.

Unfortunately, a small voice interrupted them. “Oji-san?”

They separated quickly, putting a considerable amount of space between them. Both of them were breathing hard and Taeyong felt his face get hot when he looked down at Momoka-san’s son. He was the younger twin, Kaito, and Taeyong only remembered that because he spotted the small scar that ran down his temple, barely hidden by his long brown hair. He blinked at Taeyong a few times and then looked at Yuta-san.

“Oji-san, Mama said to come and help you with drinks.”

Yuta-san laughed nervously. “Right, of course.” He moved to the refrigerator and opened it, reaching for some yogurt drinks Taeyong’s mom had bought earlier in the week. He handed them to Kaito. “Here, take these and give them to your brothers and sister. We’ll bring the rest out.”

“Okay!” Kaito said, holding the drinks in his hands and leaving the kitchen, announcing his haul.

Taeyong heard the other kids exclaim in glee and Momoka-san hushing them. He turned to Yuta-san. “He saw us doing that,” he said.

“It’s fine.” Yuta-san didn’t sound all that sure. Taeyong almost reached out to hit him on the arm. “He’s going to be fine.”

“Let’s just hurry up,” Taeyong said.

They prepared some tea and carried the cups out on trays. Momoka-san and Haruna-san were posing for a picture, Taiyo in Haruna-san’s arms. Momoka-san’s kids were sitting on the floor, watching as their father tapped away on the phone, the click of the shutter drowned out by their complaints of being bored.

“Oji-san!” Kaito exclaimed, standing up. “Do you have any games?”

“I’m sorry I don’t have any games here,” Yuta-san said, taking his spot on the armchair. He pulled his phone out and motioned for him to come closer. “I’ll let you play on my phone. Come, sit here with me.”

Kaito climbed onto the armchair and made himself comfortable on Yuta-san’s thigh, taking his phone. When his brother realized what he was doing, he scrambled over as well, taking Yuta-san’s other thigh and looking over Kaito’s shoulder, offering half-intelligible suggestions. Yuta-san barely paid attention to them, starting a conversation with Haruna-san about her bad poses for the photos, much to her displeasure.

Taeyong laughed along as he took a seat on the floor by the armchair and another one of Momoka-san’s kids toddled over. It was her youngest, Akihiro. Taeyong smiled and opened his arms, which he walked into without complaint. He turned and settled on Taeyong’s lap, leaning back against him. Akihiro grabbed at Taeyong’s hands, holding onto his fingers.

It took a moment for the parents to notice. “Boys, leave your uncle alone now. You’re too heavy to be sitting there. Ah, and Taeyong-san… Aki-chan, come here. Taeyong-san, please have a seat on the couch.”

Taeyong shook his head. “It’s no problem, Daichi-san,” he said. 

Momoka-san laughed when she looked over at them. “Oh! All the kids are on you!” She smiled and in Taeyong’s lap, Akihiro began to squirm around. Taeyong let him go and he stood up, slowly walking towards his mom. She took him into her arms and brought him up to her lap. “He must like you, Taeyong-san.”

“Oh?”

“Aki-kun is very shy,” Yuta-san said. Taeyong looked from Yuta-san to Akihiro in Momoka-san’s lap. He was peering over at Taiyo, clearly curious but wary about getting to close despite Haruna-san’s quiet encouragements to say hello. “He doesn’t go up to people like that.”

“Ah, is that so?” Taeyong caught Akihiro’s attention and gave him a small wave. Akihiro waved back but then hid his face in Momoka-san’s shirt. “I’m glad then.”

Akihiro didn’t come back to Taeyong but it didn’t take long before Momoka-san’s daughter came over and sat beside Taeyong, leaning against his side. Taeyong didn’t move until he realized she was falling asleep. He adjusted himself and lifted her into his lap, where she cuddled close.

Even though he felt nervous earlier about not carrying Taiyo or having him close, he was more relaxed now. He wondered if it was because he was now holding onto Momoka-san’s daughter. She was older and bigger but there was a similar comfort.

“Taeyong-san, Keiko likes you, too,” Daichi-san said with a laugh.

“It must be because of Taiyo,” Taeyong murmured. He knew the smell of newborns was comforting to young kids and both the babies and parents were intriguing to them. Taeyong could remember when he was a little kid and his cousin was born, her and his aunt had a certain energy that pulled him in. “It’s a safe feeling.”

Keiko stayed asleep until it was time for everyone to leave. Daichi-san carried her up, letting her drool on his shoulder, and Taeyong stood from the floor, stretching his legs before taking Taiyo back from Haruna-san. He had remained rather calm throughout the entire time, falling asleep after having been fed by his aunt.

Momoka-san gathered the rest of her kids and got them ready to go. Even though they said their goodbyes, they lingered in the genkan for a while longer, wrapping up some final conversations. Taeyong thanked them all once again and they left with promises to return tomorrow morning.

It’d been nervewracking but as they went back into the living room, where it was now peaceful after hours of talking and laughing, Taeyong knew it had been worth it. He had seen how happy Yuta-san was talking to them and how loving they all had been towards Taiyo. He was relieved it had all gone so well.

“I’m going to put Taiyo in the room and come out to clean,” he said to Yuta-san but was surprised when Yuta-san stopped him by putting a hand on his hip. “What?”

“You’re tired. I can tell.” Yuta-san smiled softly. “Go ahead. I’ll tidy up here.”

Taeyong didn’t put up much resistance. He was tired and ready to sleep. Leaving Yuta-san to it, he moved down the hall quietly and stepped into the bedroom. Taiyo was already asleep so Taeyong was extra careful when he changed him into something more comfortable and wrapped him back up. The nest Taeyong had prepared was still intact and Taiyo didn’t stir much after Taeyong laid him down in the bassinet.

With a yawn, Taeyong entered the bathroom with a change of clothes. He made sure the water was warm before stepping into the shower and the tenseness across his shoulders was eased underneath the stream. He washed quickly and skipped a bath, but he did set it to fill for Yuta-san.

For the first time in a week, Taeyong laid in his bed. He’d missed it so much. Regardless of how much more comfortable the bed at the birth center had been, there was no beating this. It was warm and cozy, something sweet tickling his nose, enough to lull him to sleep. And it did.

Taeyong was in and out of sleep, waking when he heard Taiyo begin to stir in the bassinet beside the bed. He absentmindedly went through the motions of changing Taiyo’s diaper or stepping out to warm a bottle, just awake enough to know what he was doing. There were moments where he was hushed back to sleep and Yuta-san’s silhouette stepped in front of the bassinet, Taeyong seeing him care for Taiyo in-between his tired blinks before he drifted back to sleep.

And then he jolted awake when he felt something wrap around him, pulling him so his back was flush against what he knew was Yuta-san’s front. Something tickled at his ear and he hummed, trying to turn to face Yuta-san. He was surprised and unaware of what time it was or how long it’d been since he’d gotten up to check on Taiyo. He didn’t recall hearing him cry since the last time and that felt like hours ago. Had he slept through all of Taiyo’s crying? Had Yuta-san been the one getting up?

“Don’t move,” Yuta-san whispered against the back of his neck, making Taeyong shiver.

“Yuta-san…”

“Thank you, Taeyong.” There was a beat of silence. “Just thank you.”

“No problem,” Taeyong replied, slowly blinking. He caught sight of the clock on the nightstand and he almost moaned in annoyance when his mind registered that it read 5:01 AM. He was still sleepy and he wasn’t all too sure what Yuta-san was thanking him for but he’d accept it if it meant he could go back to sleep before Taiyo woke up again. “Let me sleep.”

“I will,” Yuta-san murmured. Taeyong felt him kiss the back of his neck once, twice, a third time. “I will in a moment.”

“What are you doing?” Taeyong asked, trying to squirm away.

“Taeyong, did you think about it?” Yuta-san exhaled and Taeyong felt it tickle at the back of his neck. “You know what I was going to say yesterday, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Taeyong murmured. He stopped trying to turn, knowing that having this conversation would be better if he didn’t look at Yuta-san. “Do you want to do that with me? Be that with me?”

Yuta-san didn’t answer immediately but Taeyong was patient. It was a few minutes of quiet, only the sound of their breathing. Yuta-san’s arm around Taeyong was looser now but his hand found Taeyong’s and he interlocked their fingers tightly. He was ready to answer.

“Of course.” Yuta-san took a breath. “I don’t think I could do it with anyone else.”

Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek, allowing himself to think about it more in detail. He stopped himself earlier but now, late at night and in the dark, it was easy to let his mind wander free. It was easy to let his fears and doubts out from the shadows.

It wasn’t like marriage. If they got married and it didn’t work out like they thought it would, the way out was divorce. They’d split things as they saw fit and try to give Taiyo the best despite the situation. Physically, it was nearly painless. But bonding and becoming _real _mates… if they decided they weren’t right for each other in the future, years of pain would follow in breaking the bond, if it ever broke at all.

He’d heard stories about attempts at bond breaking. There was no gradual break like in cases where one person died before the other. It was different when both individuals were living and well. There were procedures especially for bond breaking but they were long, tedious, and expensive journeys that only managed to reduce the pain by a small fraction and still had a high chance of failure. More often than not, people just separated and continued to live with an intense yearning for someone, never being satisfied by other partners, and spending heats and ruts painfully longing after someone who wasn’t there. It left an emptiness that couldn’t be filled, even if they no longer loved one another. It was horrifying and he didn’t want to put himself or Yuta-san through that.

“I don’t want you to regret it,” Taeyong said without thinking. He raised his free hand and touched the back of his neck. Yuta-san’s lips grazed over his knuckles and he realized what he said. “I’m not saying you ever would but―”

“I know,” Yuta-san interrupted gently. “I know, Taeyong.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to right now because I do.” Taeyong inhaled sharply. “I mean―just someday in the future, I do. With you.”

“I’m not asking you to do it tonight,” Yuta-san whispered. “Just one day, when we’re both ready.”

Taeyong didn’t know when they would be ready. Was there a way of telling? He removed his hand from his neck, fingertips brushing against Yuta-san’s lips. He recalled the feeling of them against his skin, moving from his shoulder to the base of his neck, Yuta-san’s teeth biting down softly, teasingly. It brought a pleasure Taeyong had never had before and he knew that if Yuta-san would have moved a bit further, bitten a bit harder… just enough… just enough and Taeyong would be his, forever.

The thought was chilling. It wasn’t something he wanted to consider tonight.

“If you did it properly right now, it would hurt,” Taeyong said. “So let’s wait.”

“Would you prefer to get married or become mates first?” Yuta-san asked.

“You answer first.”

Yuta-san pressed closer to Taeyong and hummed into his hair, tickling Taeyong. “Hm, not sure,” he finally answered, voice coming from right behind Taeyong’s ear. “I used to think I’d do it in what we’re told is the correct order but due to certain circumstances…”

“Taiyo can hear you, you know,” Taeyong whispered seriously but the smile on his face gave him away. He wondered if Yuta-san could tell he was smiling right now. “I thought the same thing. I wouldn’t change the way things worked out though.”

“So are you happy?”

“Well, I have Taiyo now―,” a pause to take a deep breath, “―and I have you. So yes, I am. I have no reason not to be happy.”

Taeyong didn’t need to turn around to know Yuta-san was smiling. How annoying, he thought even though his heart began to thump harder in his chest. He felt Yuta-san shift around behind him and then his warm lips were against the base of Taeyong’s neck, taking him by surprise.

“Yu―Yuta-san, what…?”

“I’m not going to bite you,” Yuta-san said against his skin, sending chills down Taeyong’s spine. Taeyong felt Yuta-san’s teeth graze over his skin and he nearly pushed Yuta-san back. Something warm and wet ran over the spot. “It’s just a promise.”

Promise bonds were what young lovers used with each other, wanting to feel the intensity of having a mate without the lifelong dedication that came with it. A bite at the crook of the neck but not quite in the right spot. It was more towards the front, just above the clavicle. Still close enough to trick the body into thinking it was something it wasn’t but far enough that it didn’t make the results permanent. 

When Yuta-san bit down, it was hard enough that Taeyong cried out in pain before sucking in some air, biting down on his bottom lip, and holding his breath. His body froze for a moment but then he adjusted himself to allow Yuta-san a better angle. Yuta-san kept his teeth there for a moment before releasing and licking over the bite. Taeyong finally exhaled, his breath coming out shaky. It had hurt but he’d also felt completely undone most wonderfully. 

“It doesn’t feel any different but now people will know.” Yuta-san unwrapped his arm from Taeyong’s body and moved his hand to gently touch at the bite. Taeyong flinched and Yuta-san stopped, his fingers hovering right over it. His voice was low as he continued, each word punctuated with the slightest pause in between. “Not only when they see Taiyo but when they see you, too.”

It was true Taeyong didn’t feel any different. He wouldn’t feel any different until it was the real thing. They weren’t bonded but the bite would remain, just as evident as it was now, to show those around Taeyong he was already someone else’s potential mate. Somewhere deep down inside him, Taeyong was pleased.

He was about to suggest biting Yuta-san in return but stopped when he heard the beginnings of a cry. His attention moved to the bassinet. Just as he was going to tell Yuta-san to let him go, Yuta-san sat up and got off the bed, going around and lifting Taiyo out himself.

Taeyong admired Yuta-san. It was dark and he could just barely see part of Yuta-san’s face illuminated by the falling moon, the rest of him bathed in shadows. Yuta-san looked down at Taiyo with a tender gaze, lips pushed out into a pout as he shushed him gently. Just moments ago, those lips were on Taeyong’s neck, absolutely sinful in the way they moved and let his teeth sink into Taeyong’s skin, and now they hushed their son with sweet, soothing words whispered into the growing silence of the bedroom.

Taiyo calmed down before he could begin to cry properly. Yuta-san came over and Taeyong moved to allow him to set Taiyo down beside him. Taeyong tugged at where the blanket was tucked, letting it fall loose and pulling it off of Taiyo’s front, revealing his cute bodysuit. Taiyo stretched out, legs kicking in the air and tiny fists beside his head.

“I’ll get him a bottle,” Yuta-san said.

Taeyong moved Taiyo to the center of the bed and propped himself up to look over him. Taiyo yawned, a small and cute sound coming from his mouth, and Taeyong smiled. He gently patted his small belly and then reached for his hand, letting him hold onto his finger.

Yuta-san returned some minutes later with a bottle in hand. He didn’t hand it to Taeyong. Instead, he lifted Taiyo and settled him in his arm, bringing the bottle to his mouth. Taeyong just watched, amazed at how good Yuta-san was. He never doubted Yuta-san’s abilities but now that Taiyo was here, he saw they were beyond what he thought they would be. Where Taeyong was hesitant and clumsy, Yuta-san was secure and confident.

Slowly, Taeyong moved his hand to the bite. The pain was a small throbbing now, dull to the point he could ignore it, but as the tips of his fingers grazed over the indents, he grimaced. It stung a little and probably would continue to sting for the next few days.

Taeyong looked back at Yuta-san, eyes moving to the collar of his t-shirt. It was loose and allowed him to see the dip of Yuta-san’s collarbone. He focused on the spot right above it, knowing that he could easily leave a similar mark on Yuta-san now.

But he wouldn’t. They weren’t going anywhere anytime soon and Taeyong believed he was just as engraved into Yuta-san’s life, heart, and mind as Yuta-san was in his with or without a bite on his neck. Leaving a mark on Yuta-san could wait a little longer.

His attention moved to Taiyo, just barely hearing the quiet praises Yuta-san was giving him. Taiyo didn’t go to sleep immediately. Yuta-san took the chance to play with him, laying him on the bed and stretching Taiyo’s little arms and legs out. Taiyo didn’t seem too bothered by it, allowing Yuta-san to do as he pleased. Taeyong watched, even though his eyelids were still heavy with exhaustion.

The smile on his face wouldn’t go away, he realized. As the moon disappeared and the sun rose to take its place, warm rays filtering in through the window, Taeyong felt that warmth that first coursed through him when he held Taiyo the day he was born.

The way the rising sun set the room aglow with its early morning light, kissing Taiyo’s face in the most wonderous way, left Taeyong amazed. He knew he would never stop feeling this way when he looked at his son, _their_ son. 

Even if this moment lasted only for a moment, he’d remember it forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby is here! And like I said, so many of you called it! It is Donghyuck but his name is… (reads script) _Taiyo_?! How funny is it that Yuta just did a VLive where he said they don’t call him ‘Donghyuck’ too often anymore and mostly stick with calling him Haechan? Anyway… 
> 
> Warning: a long note of explanations you didn’t ask for ahead… 
> 
> For all those that care to hear the explanation about the name: They live in Japan and are both Japanese citizens. But, wait, Taeyong is a Japanese citizen? Yes! It’s previously mentioned that Taeyong is a Japanese citizen and to become one, he had to give up his South Korean citizenship as per Japanese naturalization laws―oops! Therefore, it’s much easier to give him a Japanese name since the baby was born… a natural Japanese citizen. I made a long list of names to choose from and, long story short, I chose the one I thought fit better. The name Taiyo (大陽) has the meaning of “sun”. Another name I considered for a long time was Hinata (日向), which means “sunny place”, and would have gone with a non-standard reading of “sunflower” (向日葵). This would have been lovely but then I remembered Haechan literally translates to _Full Sun_ and Taiyo has the same ~vibe~ to it, you know? As for the name Donghyuck, it was given to him by his grandparents and I’d assume he’d only use it in the case that he’s in South Korea just to make it easier but it is not legally his name in any way. And Haechan is just a cute nickname for people to use. For clarity, the name Taiyo (and Haechan, albeit sparingly) will be used moving forward but the baby _is_ Donghyuck, or at the very least, heavily inspired by him. So that’s that! 
> 
> As for the birth… in case you were curious, Taeyong opted for a birth center (or a maternity home, for a more Japanese equivalent) for one big reason: birth centers are _much_ more comfortable than hospitals, providing a more homely environment without most routine procedures seen in hospitals. Also, since not all places offer pain relief like epidural injections in Japan, this man had to do an all-natural delivery, as encouraged by Japanese societal standards and per typical practice of hospitals/birth centers there. It’s briefly mentioned his stay is a week-long and this is fairly standard in Japan for new parents.
> 
> And now, let’s briefly touch upon… how this all happened. I skipped detailing everything, as many ABO writers do, _but_ only for sake of length and overall uncomfortableness that I would feel writing (and maybe you, reading) the detailed birth of a child. Still, I will make it clear that, in this universe, ass babies are the legit thing. In the beginning, I mentioned using [A/B/O: Adventures in Fake Science.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4299357/chapters/9803262) for reference and, boy, have I used it for my fake anatomy to ensure this shit works out in a somewhat realistic manner. And if you wonder how an entire tiny human can come out of someone like that, please trust me when I say there are much bigger things some people (AKA men, unsurprisingly) have put in there and taken back out without dying (in most cases).
> 
> That is all! I hope to come back with a new chapter soon! I tried my best to edit but I always manage to miss a few things here and there, so please excuse me for those mistakes. And as I always say: I am happy so many are continuing to read along as I update and I appreciate the comments and overall support this fic receives. It makes me excited to write more and share it with you all. Take care! <3


	14. I Want to Touch You, You're Just Made for Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to Taeyong! I wanted to post so many things today and ended up finishing none but this one! That kinda sucks!
> 
> Also, I was super stoked to see everyone’s reactions to the last chapter. Thank you, thank you, everyone!
> 
> This one is a bit all over the place and probably the longest lead up to a sex scene and the sex scene ends up falling a little short in my opinion. I tried my hardest. Please accept my apologies in advance. 
> 
> Today’s chapter title is taken from “Ooh La La” by Goldfrapp!

Yuta-san was kind enough to take Taeyong’s parents to the airport when the day of their departure came. Taeyong would have gone along but his dad insisted he stayed home. Taiyo wasn’t even a month old and there was no need to take him out in public unnecessarily. It was unfortunate that Taeyong’s sister and her family weren’t able to come to Japan earlier so they could have everyone be together. Though he was secretly thankful to only have parts of his family with him. 

His parents could be quite a difficult pair but Jeonghui alone was a bit much sometimes. Growing up, she’d been extremely charismatic and the more charming of the two. Whereas Taeyong had needed to learn to be sure in himself, she had always been confident. And rightfully so. There’d never been a need for her to waver in her self-assurance. Her academic achievements growing up had set a high bar for Taeyong to live up to and she’d shown talent in sports and arts she took up for fun, motivating Taeyong to find unique interests of his own and try his best in everything. It was easy for her to speak out, to be loud and bold. She never feared rejection and if she came upon it, she took it in stride.

She was amazing, remaining the same bright person for as long as Taeyong could remember. She was his sister and the person he used to look up to as a kid. He loved her beyond belief. But still, he had some concerns about her first proper meeting with Yuta-san. She’d spoken with Yuta-san a few times when she called Taeyong but had never seen him face-to-face again after they’d told her and their parents about the baby.

There were no concerns about her meeting Taiyo. That was fine. There wasn’t much that could happen there. But with Yuta-san, the possibilities of things that could go wrong were endless. This was going to be more than a few minutes of them talking over the phone. This would be _days _of being in the same apartment, sharing a space, and getting to know each other.

Because Jeonghui was so talkative, Taeyong feared she would say something embarrassing in front of Yuta-san, accidentally or purposefully. She was curious so she would most definitely ask questions and she was blunt to a fault so she wouldn’t bother to spare them the embarrassment. To this day, one of the things she loved to do was tease Taeyong and he knew she wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to poke fun at him. He didn’t mind it because he knew she meant no harm and he’d endured it for years but it’d be doubly mortifying in front of Yuta-san.

Taeyong didn’t want to stress out too much. Her arrival was still a few days away. He had time to prepare for any mishaps that may happen and prepare Yuta-san for the shock of meeting his sister. Taeyong could be playful but Jeonghui’s playfulness exceeded it by far and he didn’t doubt she’d become comfortable fairly quickly.

He told all this to Yuta-san, hoping he’d be understanding but the reaction was not up to par.

“I’m sure your sister isn’t as wild as you’re making her seem. She can’t be much worse than my own.”

Taeyong eyed him. “Haruna-san is the kind of sister I wish I had and Momoka-san is not ‘wild’ either. Please trust me when I say my sister can be a lot to handle,” he said. “I lived with her for eleven years of my life so I think I know what kind of person she is.”

“You do realize you’ve lived in Tokyo longer than you’ve lived with your sister?” Yuta-san asked. He glanced up from the assignments he was grading to see his reaction. Taeyong only frowned. “Are you sure it wasn’t your mind playing up her personality because you were a kid?”

“I’m positive it wasn’t,” Taeyong answered. He paused, holding the shirt he’d been folding in his hands, and thought about it. When his sister moved out to attend university in a different city, he’d only been eleven. She came back after she graduated but her stay only lasted a few months before she moved in with her now-husband. From then on, Taeyong had been the only child in the house until he left. “Well, maybe it was. But I still saw her often and found all her troublesome qualities.”

“Don’t call your sister troublesome,” Yuta-san said. “Up until now, you’ve been talking about how great she is. Do you not want me to meet her?”

“I do!” Taeyong sighed, setting down the shirt. “I do want you to meet her but she’s so… enthusiastic. She’ll embarrass both of us.”

“I’m not the kind of person to get easily embarrassed, Taeyong.”

Taeyong could count the number of times Yuta-san had gotten embarrassed on his hands and still have some fingers left. Thinking about it, Yuta-san was like Jeonghui, not easily ashamed or humiliated by others. The only difference was perhaps Yuta-san was a bit more reserved than her. Still, he could be awfully open and mischievous when he wanted to be.

“Hm, maybe you’ll get along too well,” Taeyong murmured. He couldn’t have his sister and Yuta-san teaming up against him in his own home. “What a bothersome situation.”

Yuta-san gave him an incredulous look. “What is _ that _ supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” Taeyong smiled at Yuta-san. “Don’t worry about it. Anyway, what did you mean she couldn’t be worse than yours? Your sisters are good people, Yuta-san. Don’t disparage their images when they’re not here to defend themselves.”

“When I was ten, Momoka left me stuck in a tree and didn’t tell our parents until it got dark outside because she forgot. She did it again when I was eleven but maybe that time was my fault for trusting she’d help me down.” Taeyong blinked a few times, trying to process the information, but Yuta-san continued before he could come up with a response. “And Haru-chan seems nice and quiet but she’s secretly cunning. She tricked me into giving her money so she could buy some idol group’s singles _and _full albums for years. Do you know how much a full collection for a popular male idol group is worth? Thousands upon thousands of yen, yen that I was robbed of as a teenager with a measly part-time job.”

Taeyong laughed, loud and hard, enough that he had to clutch his stomach and wipe at his eyes. “Yuta-san! There’s no way!” he exclaimed. “You’re being overdramatic. Are you sure it’s not just your brain playing it up?”

“You can ask Daichi-san. He saw how terrible they both were,” Yuta-san said.

“Yet he still married Momoka-san?”

Yuta-san stared at him for a moment. “He’s just out of his mind for that.”

Daichi-san was an interesting individual. It didn’t seem like he would get along with Momoka-san well but they fit together surprisingly well. He was far more reserved than she was and he appeared to be a more stern individual. Yuta-san had told Taeyong he was older than Momoka-san so it could be attributed to their difference in age. Still, there was a youthful feel to Daichi-san that matched with Momoka-san.

“How much older is he than Momoka-san?”

“He’s…” Yuta-san paused, almost seeming to hesitate. “Well, he’s the same age as your sister. Older than her by a few months, I think.”

“Oh.” Taeyong looked away. “So he’s six years older than Momoka-san.”

Yuta-san was quiet for a moment and then he sighed. “What question do you have?” he asked. Taeyong glanced up at him, finding Yuta-san’s ever-present calm expression. “I know you’re thinking it’s weird. Momoka never would have met a guy like him normally.”

Taeyong didn’t say anything. It wasn’t unusual at all. But given how insistent Yuta-san’s parents were about who he was with, Taeyong couldn’t help but be curious if Momoka-san had gone through the same situation. “Were your parents the ones who introduced them?” he asked.

He kept his eyes on the pile of clothes waiting to be folded but he made no move to continue the chore. His breathing was shallower as he waited, listening carefully for any sound of Yuta-san getting upset. Nothing was giving him away in his scent. No change whatsoever.

“Something like that,” Yuta-san finally said. He shifted on the bed and sighed. “Ah, well, Daichi-san is a director for one of the departments there and Daichi-san’s grandfather is a chief alongside Dad. They thought he would be a good fit for Momoka. It worked out like that.”

“Is that so?” Taeyong hummed. He thought about Yuta-san’s mother and the things she’d mentioned. Perhaps the same thing was planned for Yuta-san? There was the urge to ask but he wasn’t sure how Yuta-san would answer. He didn’t want to force Yuta-san into giving him answers. “They match each other so I suppose it was the right move.”

“Thankfully.” There was a long pause. Yuta-san looked like he wanted to say something else so Taeyong waited. After another minute, the words finally came. “Akihiro is like me. An alpha from two beta parents. The rest of my sister’s kids are… betas, like her and Daichi-san. Up until he was born, Momoka wasn’t―” Yuta-san cleared his throat, “―Sorry, um… Momoka wasn’t sure she’d stay with Daichi-san.”

“Yuta-san, you don’t have to―”

“It’s fine, Taeyong. It’s better if you know about my family now rather than later.” Yuta-san gave him a small smile. “I’ve been meaning to tell you but we’ve been caught up, haven’t we?”

Yuta-san motioned to the bassinet where Taiyo was sleeping in his nest. Taeyong had just gotten him down for the second time since Yuta-san got home and he hoped it would be a few hours before he woke up again. He’d been planning on finishing up some chores before bed but if Yuta-san wanted to talk now, he was more than happy to put everything else aside.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” Taeyong said, returning the clothes to the basket and setting it on the floor so he could climb onto the bed. He sat beside Yuta-san, crossing his legs and holding his hands in the space between. “So?”

“I’ll keep it short,” Yuta-san said, reaching out to put his hand on Taeyong’s knee. He ran his thumb over it lightly, back and forth, back and forth. “Where to start…”

Taeyong waited, his gaze locked on Yuta-san. The calm expression twisted into something more melancholic. Yuta-san’s eyelashes kissed the bottoms of his eyes as he blinked slowly. The sound of their breathing filled the room and when Taeyong felt Yuta-san begin to get nervous, he tried to let him know it was okay. Wordlessly, he placed his hand over Yuta-san’s on his thigh and brushed his fingers over his knuckles before slipping them into the spaces between Yuta-san’s. 

“Osaka is still… more traditional in some parts. Growing up there, I considered it normal. It was my childhood so what did I know, right? Even when I moved to Kyoto, I ran in the circles my parents did. It wasn’t… I earned my spot at Kyodai, please don’t misunderstand that, but because I was new, I didn’t know anyone. My parents knew plenty of people there that could help me settle in.”

“I understand,” Taeyong said softly.

“It was around that time Daichi-san was introduced to Momoka. Regardless of the situation, Momoka unexpectedly liked him. It was a very formal engagement. Since I was in Kyoto, I wasn’t able to give her my congratulations at the time. And when I returned for summer, my parents talked to me about it. For years after that, they talked about it. Momoka was getting married so they were curious about me. I never―” Yuta-san’s face turned red, the color crawling up to the tips of his ears, “―I didn’t date in high school or university. It never interested me.”

“Don’t tell me this is your first relationship. Yuta-san, I’ll feel bad.” Taeyong smiled when he caught Yuta-san trying to hold back his laugh. “It would be alarming.”

“Alarming how?” Yuta-san asked.

“You must have accepted some of the confessions you received, Yuta-san. I’d be concerned otherwise, especially with your looks and personality.”

Yuta-san’s laugh was bright and Taeyong enjoyed the sight, taking in how Yuta-san closed his eyes and a slight pink color bloomed over his cheeks once again. “I will admit I accepted only two. But only one really counted but it still fell apart rather quickly,” he said when he calmed down. “He was nice but we weren’t on the same level when we met.”

“If you met him now, do you think you would’ve lasted longer?”

“Now why would I be with him when I could have you instead?” Yuta-san eyed Taeyong in a way he could only describe as suggestively. His eyes moved down to their hands and he pulled away from to run a finger up Taeyong’s thigh, stopping right at the hemline of the shorts Taeyong was wearing. Taeyong’s breath hitched in his throat and when he looked at Yuta-san, his eyes were already on him. There was a change in the air. “Why would I go for anyone else when I already have you, huh?”

“Yuta-san…” Taeyong pushed his hand away, feeling the heat spread across his face. It moved down his neck, to his chest, and even further down like a fire he couldn’t put out. “Yuta-san, you―uh, you were saying?”

And just like that, Yuta-san pulled back, sitting up against the headboard and folding his hands over his stomach. His attention drifted away, focusing on something on the wall across from the bed. “My parents introduced me to a family friend at Momoka’s wedding. Or reintroduced me to him. You know the name.”

Taeyong pushed the excitement from a moment ago away, hoping that he didn’t seem overly eager to Yuta-san. “Mimura-san,” he said. Maybe that alone was enough to kill the excitement, he thought bitterly as he realized he felt a sense of dread climb onto his shoulders and weighing him down. “Right?”

“Yeah. Mimura-kun… Mimura-san… We’ve known each other since we were kids. His family moved to Sapporo and we stopped seeing them. Only when I moved to Kyoto did they come back. My second year, no, in my third year… he was starting his first year of university in Osaka. He was a good kid in every sense of the word. Physically, academically, morally… he was a good person. I wasn’t opposed to seeing him because I knew him and…”

“You liked him?” Taeyong finished. Yuta-san looked at him for a minute, the look in his eyes cautious. Taeyong was calm though. “Yuta-san, it’s fine if you did.” 

“Then yes, I did. Or I thought I did. The people around us had a way of putting things when they talked. They praised my relationship with Mimura-san even when we were just friends. There was always more to it, according to everyone. If Mimura-san did something nice for me, it wasn’t because he was being a good junior but because he liked me, he wanted to please me. I couldn’t even look at Mimura-san without having someone mention how attracted to him I seemed.” Yuta-san turned back to Taeyong. It was concerning to see how sad he looked. Taeyong reached over but didn’t touch Yuta-san, keeping his hand over his thigh. “It was confusing. I was in my early twenties and I thought I had Mimura-san but it looked nothing like my friends’ relationships.”

“Did you ever―”

“Have sex?” Yuta-san interrupted. “No, we never did.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve been a virgin this entire time. I refuse to believe that.”

“Taeyong, you―what do you mean?” Yuta-san looked surprised. His eyes were wide and the same red flushed across his cheeks, this time disappearing underneath the stretched out collar of his t-shirt, to his chest. So much for not being easily embarrassed, Taeyong thought. This must his weakness. What fun and interesting information to have. “Of course not. I’ve slept with people before.”

“Can I ask… how many?”

“That’s not the point of this conversation.” Yuta-san exhaled. “What was it… Six? Never dated any of them though.”

“Is that so…” Taeyong hummed. “Interesting.”

Yuta-san looked at him. “Now you have to tell me yours.”

“It’s higher than six,” Taeyong said quietly. He remembered all the years of clubbing and drinking. Men in bathroom stalls, love hotels, or their filthy apartments, their faces hidden under the cover of darkness and chilling, deep voices vibrating against his skin. Something about those men had been attractive at the time but it was all meaningless now. If he recalled correctly, it wasn’t a huge number but it was large enough. “That’s all you need to know.”

“Twenty? Thirty? I won’t judge, Taeyong.”

“It was enough, Yuta-san,” he replied. Yuta-san shifted in his spot, coming closer, hands spread out on the mattress. “You say you don’t get embarrassed easily but do you get jealous?”

“Jealous?” Yuta-san came even closer, his hands were centimeters away from touching Taeyong’s legs. “It seems you don’t.”

“I’m indifferent because it doesn’t matter anymore. Unless―” He met Yuta-san’s eyes. Something dark, chilling almost. “If Mimura-san was here, would you like it?”

“If he were here?” Yuta-san’s moved his hand and his fingers brushed along the side of Taeyong’s thigh, making him shiver. He repeated the motion before laying his palm flat against Taeyong’s skin, fingers slipping under the hemline. “I said it a moment ago, Taeyong, so I don’t know why I must say it again.”

“I forgot. Remind me,” Taeyong whispered.

Yuta-san moved fast, pulling his hand away and bringing it to Taeyong’s shoulder, pushing him back hard. Taeyong’s back hit the mattress and he inhaled sharply, not from pain but surprise. He stretched out his legs to allow Yuta-san to sit across his thighs now, one hand holding him up beside Taeyong’s head and the other sliding underneath his t-shirt, warm as it rested against Taeyong’s hip. Taeyong kept his arms at his sides, grabbing fistfuls of the comforter to resist the urge to grab Yuta-san.

“Don’t be so difficult now.” Yuta-san’s voice was low and Taeyong felt the heat from earlier return, pooling at his navel, tightening more and more by the second. His chest rose and fell with each heavy breath he took. Before Taeyong could take a good look, Yuta-san was leaning in, lips by Taeyong’s ear. “What do you think, Taeyong?”

“I get the feeling you’d like it,” Taeyong managed to say between his breaths, still growing heavier by each moment. The teasing tone he was going for was lost, his words coming out shaky. He turned his head a little so his lips were against Yuta-san’s ear and he exhaled, feeling the way Yuta-san shivered above him. “So would you?”

Yuta-san’s chuckle tickled Taeyong and he hummed as he tried to move away but Yuta-san had him locked in place. “Are you trying to rile me up?” Yuta-san blew air against Taeyong’s ear and Taeyong tensed up, his back arching a little as he flinched away. “Ha, what is this?”

“Yuta-san, just answer the question.”

“Mimura-san is cute in a junior kind of way, but you, Taeyong…” Yuta-san blew more air against Taeyong’s ear and the hum Taeyong let out was almost like a whine stuck in the back of his throat. He felt Yuta-san smile against his ear. “I never want to look at anyone else but you.”

Yuta-san pressed down against Taeyong’s thighs, giving him the slightest bit of friction and Taeyong exhaled a long, shaky breath. He was getting harder, the tightness at his navel stronger than it was a moment ago. Yuta-san moved back up a little, allowing Taeyong to see his face. His expression was indiscernible, his lips pulled into a tight line and eyebrows furrowed a little. Not upset, just… concentrated. Taeyong was curious as to what Yuta-san was thinking. He didn’t have the chance to ask as Yuta-san began to push up his shirt, revealing his abdomen.

Taeyong’s diet hadn’t changed much while he was pregnant at Ishigami-sensei’s recommendation and staying busy around the apartment over the last few weeks provided him something like a workout. His stomach wasn’t as flat as it had been before but he had lost most of what he’d gained over his pregnancy already. Even though he wasn’t in bad shape, he felt himself grow insecure as Yuta-san’s eyes looked him over, moving from his face to the waistline of his shorts before coming back up to his chest.

It was cold in the room and Yuta-san had pushed his shirt up just above his nipples. Yuta-san’s hand moved, his thumb brushing over one. Taeyong was startled and he grabbed Yuta-san by the wrist, meeting his eyes in panic. He loosened his hold when Yuta-san raised his eyebrows in question.

“Sorry, it’s just… I’m a little sensitive there.”

“Ah.” Yuta-san hummed. “I’ll be careful.”

Yuta-san didn’t touch his nipples again, his hand moving to run up and down Taeyong’s side instead. It was only his fingertips, just a ghost over Taeyong’s skin, tickling him. Taeyong whined this time for real, feeling restless that he couldn’t move away. He fought the urge to close his eyes, wanting to see Yuta-san’s reaction. He was well-rewarded as a small smile formed on Yuta-san’s face.

“Like this,” he murmured. There was something in his eyes that Taeyong didn’t know how to describe. It was enticing and exciting. His gaze met Taeyong’s. “You think I want to see anyone else when I have you this way?”

“Y-you said Mimura-san was cute,” Taeyong whispered. He knew Yuta-san was telling the truth but he also wanted to see how far he could push, how much he could get from Yuta-san. “Wouldn’t that be better?”

“Ha?” Yuta-san breathed out. He leaned back in but didn’t go for Taeyong’s ear. His mouth found the spot along his shoulder. It no longer hurt yet it looked as fresh as it did when Yuta-san made the mark. But when Yuta-san began to suck at it, Taeyong gasped in surprise at the slight pulse of pain that returned. Yuta-san stopped and Taeyong felt his wet, hot tongue run over it once, twice. “He wouldn’t look half as nice with this on him.”

The last time they spoke about Mimura-san, there was one thing Taeyong wanted to say. He didn’t dare to say it out loud then but with the look he had seen on Yuta-san’s face a moment ago and the cinnamon that tickled his nose now, Taeyong felt he couldn’t hold it back. Yuta-san wanted him to say it, _needed _him to say. So he would.

“Prove it to me,” Taeyong whispered into Yuta-san’s ear.

The shift in Yuta-san’s scent was evident. As an overwhelming amount of spice took over the room, Taeyong worried for a moment it would bother Taiyo. He held his breath, listening for the sound of him waking up distressed but nothing came. Yuta-san seemed to wait as well since he pulled back and paused, face hovering over Taeyong for a long minute. Then his eyes met Taeyong’s.

“I’d be very happy to.”

Taeyong brought both of his hands up to hold Yuta-san’s face as they kissed. Yuta-san lowered himself, resting on his forearm, and his body was centimeters away from being pressed against Taeyong’s. A moan came from Yuta-san, deep from the back of his throat, and Taeyong took it in, hand tracing down Yuta-san’s neck and along his shoulder. He was grateful Yuta-san liked to wear worn, stretched out shirts to bed, draping over his body loosely. His finger moved just above his clavicle, eliciting another low moan from Yuta-san.

Yuta-san was the first to pull away, licking his lips to break the strand of spit between their mouths. “Bite me,” he whispered, mouth parted as he caught his breath. “I want to feel everything with you, Taeyong.”

Taeyong was breathing hard as well. He swallowed hard enough he was certain Yuta-san heard it. He traced a circle the spot on Yuta-san’s skin again. “Here,” he said.

“Do it.”

Yuta-san moved back, sitting up straight again. Taeyong followed, a bit dazed and extremely aware of Yuta-san still sitting across his thighs. Yuta-san moved back a little so it was more comfortable and then bared his neck, revealing an untouched expanse of smooth skin. Taeyong held his breath, admiring the line of Yuta-san’s jaw and how it connected to the curve of his neck, continuing to broad shoulders hidden underneath the fabric of the t-shirt he wore.

Taeyong reached out and touched right above Yuta-san’s collarbone once again, pressing his fingers against the skin. He heard Yuta-san inhale and exhale slowly. He looked at Yuta-san’s face, finding him with his eyes closed and mouth parted, still glistening with their combined spit from a moment ago. When Taeyong pressed against the spot again, a little harder this time, he kept his eyes on Yuta-san, focused on the slight quiver of his lips as he breathed in and out.

Amazing, he thought.

His gaze returned to where his fingers were. Carefully, he pulled his hand back and moved his head closer, mouth parting. He paused for a moment, breathing against Yuta-san’s skin, listening to how Yuta-san was beginning to struggle to breathe steadily, and feeling how he was starting to grind down against him.

Taeyong pulled back a little. “Ha?” he breathed out, catching how Yuta-san’s expression faltered. He smiled a little. Yuta-san could deal it, but could he take it? “Yuta-san, are you this weak?”

There was no time for him to answer. Taeyong grabbed Yuta-san’s shoulder to hold him in place and leaned back in, opening his mouth wider and biting just above Yuta-san’s clavicle. Yuta-san jerked in place, gasping out loud. Taeyong tightened his hold on Yuta-san’s shoulder, feeling him want to move away. It would only take a moment.

Taeyong bit down harder when he felt Yuta-san relax against him. There was something else besides his spit there and a metallic smell drifted up to his nose. It was a sign that it was done. The promise bond was made and the bite would stay. Still, Taeyong felt he couldn’t let go. He couldn’t let go.

A hot, hot feeling took over his body, something exhilarating and new. Not once had he felt this way with Yuta-san. Everything was sharper, clearer. The intense want and attraction within Yuta-san’s pheromones were heavier than he thought. The feeling of his body pressed against him, the warmth of his skin where his lips touched, the taste of his blood in his mouth… he was so acutely aware of it all.

Finally, Taeyong released Yuta-san and began to lick over the spot, the metallic taste filling his mouth again. Yuta-san hadn’t bitten him this hard. Taeyong had gone overboard and he knew it. From the way Yuta-san was breathing hard, arms wrapped around Taeyong and hands grabbing at the back of his t-shirt, it had hurt and surprised him. Taeyong hoped he could provide some comfort. As he licked at the new bite, he put his hands on Yuta-san’s waist, underneath the hem of his shirt, fingertips against his skin.

It took a few minutes before Yuta-san stopped bleeding but the desire pheromones hadn’t waned a bit.

“Do you feel it?” Yuta-san asked, nosing at the crook of Taeyong’s neck. His breath was hot against his skin. “How much I actually want you?”

“I do,” Taeyong answered.

Yuta-san sighed and Taeyong got a little worried. Before he could ask what was wrong, Yuta-san had let go of Taeyong, taking him by the wrists and pushing him back down against the mattress, knees on either side of his hips and pinning his hands up above his head. Taeyong held his breath when he saw Yuta-san’s face.

Something he’d been so curious about before. There was no need to wonder what Yuta-san was thinking or how he felt anymore. No more picking apart how his features were etched across his face and what it could mean. Because Taeyong knew it all now. He felt it all now. A strong desire, an alarming lust. Just for him.

Yuta-san kissed along Taeyong’s jaw and then at the corner of his lips. “Are you surprised?” Yuta-san asked. He moved to whisper into Taeyong’s ear. “I’ll say it in case you forgot again. Why would I have anyone else when I have you here?”

With his free hand, Yuta-san pulled up Taeyong’s shirt up over his head but he left it there, Taeyong’s arms still in the sleeves. Taeyong closed his eyes as Yuta-san traced along the side of his face, slow and deliberate, down his neck and to his chest. Down, down, down his stomach, making Taeyong’s breath hitch in his throat.

“Just a month ago, Taiyo was still in here.” Yuta-san laid his hand flat over Taeyong’s stomach, starting to slowly knead at it. Taeyong was breathing hard again. “I wish I could fill you with another baby right now. You were so pretty with Taiyo. So, so pretty.”

“And now?” Taeyong was able to ask.

“Oh, you are still so… so pretty,” Yuta-san murmured cheek. “I’ve never been more attracted to someone in my life.”

“Yuta-san…” Taeyong hummed when Yuta-san’s hand moved even further down, fingers slipping underneath the waistband of his shorts. “Ahh…”

“Mm, Taeyong, are you this weak?” Yuta-san chuckled lowly, making Taeyong shiver. “Taiyo is asleep. Don’t hold back now.”

“He’ll―ahh, he’ll wake up. Yuta-san, hm…”

“He won’t,” Yuta-san assured. Taeyong choked on a gasp when Yuta-san palmed him over his underwear. “Is this okay?”

“Y-yes, do it.”

Yuta-san removed his hand and tugged down at Taeyong’s shorts, pulling his underwear down with it. Taeyong’s erection curled up and Yuta-san took it in his hand, thumbing over the head where precome had begun to pearl. Taeyong moaned, wanting to twist and turn but unable to because Yuta-san still held his wrists above his head. 

His strokes were slow and steady, his thumb brushing over the head when he could. Taeyong felt slick starting to form as Yuta-san continued. It was getting warmer and he felt how heavy Yuta-san’s attraction to him really was now. It was overwhelming. It stimulated him more than usual. This was what it meant to be with someone this way, he thought. A searing pleasure setting his body aflame, dancing over his skin, getting hotter, hotter, hotter.

Taeyong came all over Yuta-san’s hand and he bit down on his bottom lip, humming in pleasure. Yuta-san was unfazed, continuing his movements.

“Nng, Yuta-san―ah…” Taeyong moaned, thrusting up into Yuta-san’s hand as his vision blurred some more. He closed his eyes, arching his back off the mattress. “Oh…”

It was a stronger sensation compared to before, Taeyong realized. There was a large amount of slick coming out, sticky as his shorts got dirty and stuck to his skin. Taeyong wriggled in place.

“Yuta-san,” he whispered, hearing how desperate he sounded.

Yuta-san let him go and Taeyong took off his shirt the rest of the way before he reached out, wrapping his arms around Yuta-san’s neck and pulling him down to kiss him. Even this was different. Kissing Yuta-san was different. It filled him with excitement and he wanted more and more and more. So much, until he couldn’t breathe, he wanted it.

After a while, Taeyong felt himself begin to get hard again. He was whining against Yuta-san’s mouth and he wondered how it felt for Yuta-san. Was it a heavy lust he felt? How strong were Taeyong’s pheromones to him now? Because he felt intoxicated by Yuta-san’s, a sweet poison he was inhaling, making him dizzy to the point of submitting wholly to Yuta-san.

Yuta-san mentioned filling him up with another baby and while Taeyong knew they wanted to wait a while longer, the idea was appealing. He wouldn’t have another heat for a few more months and he had just had Taiyo so getting pregnant was nearly impossible but Taeyong knew if he could, he might’ve let Yuta-san fuck him and fill him over and over again. 

Taeyong always pushed away his omega instincts but now there was no denying how easily he would give himself to Yuta-san. With this bite on his neck and now the bite on Yuta-san’s neck, Taeyong realized how wildly attracted they were to each other. Each touch and each look from now on was undeniably filled with desire, however innocent it may be.

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong said as he pulled away. “Come on, do it. Do it.”

There was a slight shift in Yuta-san’s pheromones. He was alarmed. “Taeyong, wait. Can you? Can we?” Yuta-san was frowning and Taeyong almost groaned in frustration. The one time he was asking… “What did Ishigami-sensei say? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“This is very considerate of you. She said it’s fine to have sex again after a few weeks.” Taeyong tugged Yuta-san back down, gently taking his ear lobe in between his teeth. Taeyong liked it when Yuta-san did it to him but he’d never done it in return. Maybe it would get the point across. As he carefully dragged his teeth over, he felt a slight dip in the skin. He let Yuta-san go. “Did you wear earrings?”

“Huh?” Yuta-san raised himself so they could see each other.

“Earrings,” Taeyong repeated. Yuta-san was still frowning. With a sigh, Taeyong removed his arms from around Yuta-san’s neck. “You know what? Nevermind. Get off me. I can take care of this myself in the bathroom.”

Yuta-san didn’t move.

“Yuta-san.”

“It’s the last day of June, almost midnight,” Yuta-san said. He made eye contact with Taeyong, a mischievous look in his eyes. “I’ll fuck you right into your birthday if you want me to.”

“W-what?”

Instead of answering, Yuta-san moved in and closed his mouth over the bite, sucking softly. Taeyong let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. His toes curled and he clutched at the front of Yuta-san’s t-shirt. Yuta-san moved away from the bite, moving up higher. Taeyong was sure a bruise would bloom there. He bared his neck, allowing Yuta-san to kiss right on his jaw, underneath his ear. 

“I had earrings,” Yuta-san said suddenly, voice low. Taeyong shivered. “You did too. I’ve been meaning to ask. When did you stop wearing them?”

“When I―ah…” Yuta-san lips were on another part of his neck. “When I started my internship at the company. Earrings are against the dress code.”

“What a shame.” A hand on his waist held Taeyong in place. “The school doesn’t allow them so I started only wearing them on weekends until I met you.”

“I want to see it,” Taeyong murmured.

“Hm?”

“You, with earrings. I want to see you with them on.”

“Whenever you want.”

The conversation ended there. Yuta-san sat up to take off his shirt and Taeyong pulled him down by the neck when he was done, kissing him until they were breathless again. He allowed Yuta-san to catch his breath, moving to his jaw and his shoulder, biting down into his skin hard enough that he almost broke it and sucking until there was red blooming underneath his lips.

The slick from earlier had started to dry but there was more now, creating an even bigger mess in Taeyong’s underwear. He was getting uncomfortable despite his arousal.

Yuta-san seemed to notice. “Come on,” he said. He got off Taeyong and helped him up. “Take it off.”

Taeyong obliged, carefully pulling his shorts and underwear off. The slick was a cloudy substance and it was sticky. It got on Taeyong’s hand and before he could wipe it off on his ruined shorts, Yuta-san took him by the wrist. He brought Taeyong’s dirty fingers to his mouth. It was warm. It was…

“Disgusting, Yuta-san,” Taeyong said when Yuta-san let him go. “That’s disgusting.”

“To you,” Yuta-san said. He came closer, closer. Taeyong fell back onto the bed, holding himself up with his forearms as Yuta-san hovered over him. “Have you ever seen slick porn?”

“Yuta-san, what the―that’s disturbing.” Taeyong would never admit how often he’d search for it years ago. Yuta-san didn’t need to know that. “If you’re thinking about porn right now, I’m not going to be happy.”

“I’m not.” Yuta-san smiled teasingly. He kissed Taeyong’s shoulder. “Why would I when you’re right here?”

Taeyong rolled his eyes. His attention moved to the clock and he caught the time. “So, where’s my birthday gift?” He looked back at Yuta-san in question. “Are you going to get to it anytime soon?”

“You think we have enough time before Taiyo wakes up?”

“If you keep _talking_, we’ll be here all night.”

“No more talking.”

Yuta-san kissed him, a hand on the back of his head. He led Taeyong back down onto the bed, staying at his side. His fingers carded through Taeyong’s hair and the other hand moved to Taeyong’s hardening cock. The slick had made a mess but it was easier, Yuta-san’s strokes a bit smoother with it as lubrication. Taeyong hummed into Yuta-san’s mouth.

Before Taeyong could come, Yuta-san stopped.

“On your hands and knees.” His tone allowed no room for complaint and Taeyong followed his instruction, confused by the sudden dominance but very, very, very attracted to it.

Once he was on his hands and knees, he felt Yuta-san move behind him, the mattress dipping by his knees. Taeyong swallowed hard when he felt Yuta-san’s fingers ghost over his lower back, moving down to his ass. Yuta-san began to knead at the skin. And then Taeyong felt Yuta-san kiss him, starting at one of the bumps of his spine and moving down, down. He stopped to bite and suck at the skin. Taeyong arched his back, falling onto his forearms as he breathed hard.

Yuta-san began to tease with the tip of his finger, circling Taeyong’s hole. Taeyong tensed up. Yuta-san paused in his motions. When Taeyong relaxed again, Yuta-san resumed, pressing his finger against Taeyong. He pushed inside and stopped.

Taeyong took a few deep breaths and then hummed, giving him the okay. Yuta-san’s finger began to go further in him, making Taeyong inhale sharply. Yuta-san began to pull out slowly but before his finger was out, he pushed back in. Combined with the soft kisses Yuta-san was leaving and the way he continued to massage Taeyong’s ass, the feeling was delightful.

The fingers that weren’t inside added even more pleasure. Whenever Yuta-san pushed his one finger in, the others brushed against the sensitive skin, the tips just barely grazing Taeyong’s balls. It made him gasp and sigh. His cock was fully hard now, the head pressed against his stomach, pearling with precome.

Yuta-san’s fingering grew quicker and soon, Taeyong had his cheek against the mattress, panting. He brought a hand to his cock, wanting to come as quickly as he could. Yuta-san said nothing when he began to jerk himself off, trying to match Yuta-san’s speed.

“Ahh…”

There was no pause when Yuta-san added a second finger. He did slow down but only for a moment. Taeyong let out a loud cry but bit down into the comforter, knowing he couldn’t be too loud unless he wanted Taiyo to wake up. He choked on the fabric, feeling tears form in his eyes. When it got wet from his spit, he let go, soft moans escaping him and filling the room.

Yuta-san was saying something, he noticed. He could barely hear it and he could barely keep quiet long enough to. The hand massaging his ass was gone and the kisses pressed against his lower back were interrupted by moans of Yuta-san’s. Taeyong felt a chill run down his back.

“Is two fine?” Yuta-san asked after a while.

“It’s f-fine.”

Yuta-san pulled his fingers out and Taeyong took a few deep breaths. He raised his ass higher in the air, allowing Yuta-san to take him by the hips to adjust him. Settled between Taeyong’s legs, Yuta-san pulled him back. Taeyong felt Yuta-san’s balls against him and his hard cock over his ass.

It was a moment before Taeyong felt something press into him. Yuta-san fell over his back, one arm wrapping around Taeyong’s abdomen. Taeyong heard how hard Yuta-san was breathing, could feel the rise and fall of his chest against his back. Yuta-san’s other arm was holding him up. Taeyong found it, wrapping his fingers around it weakly to let Yuta-san know he was okay. It was enough because Yuta-san pushed himself in until his balls were against Taeyong’s.

Yuta-san’s lips found a spot on the back of Taeyong’s shoulders. He was breathing hard through his nose. Taeyong’s breaths were loud and he was getting hotter and hotter with his face pressed against the bed. He turned his head a little more, feeling the ends of Yuta-san’s hair brush against his forehead.

“Yu-Yuta-san,” he muttered.

“Hm?” Yuta-san stopped and looked up.

Taeyong didn’t need to say more. It was an awkward angle but their lips were able to meet. Yuta-san began to shallowly thrust into Taeyong, bringing the softest of sounds from his mouth, all swallowed by Yuta-san. He took Taeyong’s bottom lip between his teeth before letting go and closing the space between them once again.

As Yuta-san’s thrusts grew quicker and harder, he moved back to sucking at Taeyong’s skin, no doubt leaving marks all along his back. The arm wrapped around Taeyong’s abdomen grew loose but only to allow Yuta-san to grab Taeyong’s erection, using the precome and slick to pump him, matching his strokes with his thrusts.

Taeyong had his face pressed into the bed again, gasping. His eyes were closed tight. His hands were on either side of his head, weakly grabbing at the fabric.

Each movement sent Taeyong into a dizzying frenzy. His low moans were swallowed by the comforter. The sound of skin against skin filled the room, accompanied by Yuta-san’s shaky breathing and moans. It was overwhelming. Yuta-san was still jerking him off and Taeyong was beginning to feel his body tense up, his toes begin to curl.

“Come,” Yuta-san said into his ear. “Come, Taeyong.”

It took a few more strokes before Taeyong was coming over Yuta-san’s hand again, vision blurring and the insides of his thighs tingling as he let go, releasing the tension that built. He felt his warm come against his stomach but most of it fell onto the bed below or Yuta-san’s hand. Taeyong moaned, burying his face into the bed to hide the sound. Yuta-san continued to pump him through it before removing his hand.

The weight of Yuta-san over his back disappeared and Taeyong felt Yuta-san’s hands on his hips, one of them wet with Taeyong’s come, holding him tightly. He was certain he’d have bruises of where Yuta-san’s fingers were. The way Yuta-san fucked into him now was harder, rougher. His rhythm was getting sloppy.

Yuta-san grunted, falling back over Taeyong but not close enough to be able to kiss anymore. Taeyong tried to reach back but it was difficult. Yuta-san didn’t come closer. Taeyong closed his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing, choking on a little air when there was a particularly hard thrust.

He already came but the feeling of Yuta-san fucking into him was nearly enough to get him hard again. Taeyong tried to push himself back up onto his hands but his arms felt like jelly. Like earlier, Yuta-san’s arm wrapped around Taeyong’s abdomen and he hoisted Taeyong up, holding him there for a moment.

“Fuck, Taeyong,” he said, letting him go. Taeyong held himself up and inhaled sharply when Yuta-san pushed his cock into him as far as he could, falling over Taeyong’s back again. Yuta-san hummed right by his ear. “Fuck, fuck. I’m knotting you.”

Yuta-san’s cock began to swell and Taeyong moaned at the stretch. With the swell, Yuta-san came. Taeyong was filled with warmth and it was different somehow. The few times Yuta-san knotted him before, Taeyong had felt pleasure and an odd form of happiness. He still felt that but there was also something else, something more. Deep within Taeyong, there was a delight. This was his alpha and he was the omega, ready to be fucked and filled with a knot.

Taeyong let out a stuttered breath, growing weak as more of Yuta-san’s come filled him. He dropped back onto his forearms, holding his face over the bed. Yuta-san kissed along his shoulders sweetly, carefully.

He continued to leave small kisses all over Taeyong’s back and shoulders until the knot began to go away nearly fifteen minutes later. When he could, Yuta-san pulled out and Taeyong sighed. All the come and slick began to slide out, trickling down the inside of his thighs.

“Let me help you,” Yuta-san said.

Yuta-san helped Taeyong turn onto his back. He felt his come from earlier against his lower back. And his slick and Yuta-san’s come were on the back of his thighs. Taeyong felt gross but he was too weak to complain. He let Yuta-san push back his hair, closing his eyes and humming in delight when Yuta-san pressed his inner wrist against his temple and kissed his forehead softly.

“Happy birthday,” Yuta-san said. “Did you like the present?”

“Yes.” Taeyong lolled his head to the side and opened his eyes a little to look at Yuta-san’s face. He was smiling. “But I hope it wasn’t your only one.”

“Of course not. I’ll give you something else later on.” Another kiss on his forehead. “Apart from being a present… about earlier, I said―”

Taeyong waved him off before bringing his hand to rest along Yuta-san’s jaw. “I was teasing you, Yuta-san. I know how you feel. I’m not denying your feelings,” he whispered. Yuta-san blinked a few times and Taeyong smiled, closing his eyes again. “But thank you for being so very reassuring.”

“I like you so much, Lee Taeyong.”

“Yeah, yeah. If you like me so much, you’d go prepare a bath for me. It’s my birthday, you know?”

Yuta-san remained quiet. Taeyong opened his eyes wide to look at him. He was staring, his expression soft. The corners of his lips were turned up into a small smile. It caught him off guard. He recognized the look. It was the way Yuta-san looked at Taiyo.

“Yuta-san?” Taeyong’s voice was just above a whisper. “What’s with that look?”

“You won’t say it but you like me, too.”

“I _have_ said it. I won’t say it again if that’s what you want me to do.”

Yuta-san just smiled wider. “To answer your question from earlier, I don’t.”

“You… don’t what?”

“I don’t get jealous. Or maybe I should say I didn’t.” Yuta-san’s hand moved down and his fingers brushed over the bite. Taeyong winced a little and Yuta-san stopped. “I never felt strongly enough about anyone to feel that way. Not even with Mimura-san. Hearing you say your number is higher than mine isn’t important now because that’s in the past but…”

“But?”

“If someone looks at you now, I can’t promise I won’t get upset.”

“No one will look at someone with a kid like me,” Taeyong said. “And don’t go being an angry alpha. I told you already. I like you and we have Taiyo. I won’t look at anyone else either. So just… don’t worry about such things.”

“You’d be surprised at how some people can be, Taeyong.” Yuta-san kissed the corner of his mouth. “And see? I told you you liked me. You said it right there.”

“You tricked me,” Taeyong accused, realizing he had said it.

Yuta-san shook his head and moved off the bed, turning away to hide the smile on his face. “I’ll go prepare a bath for us.”

“For_ me_, Yuta-san.” Taeyong watched Yuta-san disappear into the bathroom. He sighed, dropping his head down onto one of the pillows. “No use telling him…”

As he heard the water begin to run, Taiyo whined in his bassinet. Of course, Yuta-san would leave him like this right before Taiyo woke up. How troublesome.

* * *

Kanghoon was carrying Taiyo and Taeyong hovered over him. Jinhee poked at his cheek, exclaiming at how cute he was. Taiyo’s eyes focused on her face for a moment but when Kanghoon spoke, Taiyo looked at him.

“Jinhee, he’s going to hate you!” Kanghoon cried. Taeyong felt his heart stop when Kanghoon turned away from his sister. He reached out, ready to take Taiyo but Jinhee grabbed Kanghoon’s shirt, pulling him. “Jinhee, stop it. I’m going to drop him!”

“Jinhee, please let your brother go. Kanghoon, give me… give me Taiyo before you drop him,” Taeyong said. Kanghoon carefully placed Taiyo into Taeyong’s waiting arms and Taeyong brought Taiyo to his chest immediately. Jinhee continued to bicker with Kanghoon and Taeyong frowned. “If you two don’t stop, I’m going to tell your mom.”

“No! Don’t tell Mom.” Jinhee pouted. “We’ll be good. Can we watch something on the TV?”

“Have Yuta-ssi help you.”

Kanghoon went to the couch, pulling at Yuta-san’s sleeve. Despite only knowing him for a few hours, Kanghoon and Jinhee had gotten comfortable with Yuta-san’s presence. They were outgoing kids, both of them loud like Jeonghui. Yuta-san didn’t seem to mind it though. Taeyong had seen how well he was with his nephews and niece, allowing them to climb all over him, poke at his face, and cling at his legs. Kanghoon and Jinhee were a piece of cake compared to those four.

Taeyong watched for a moment. Yuta-san listened to Kanghoon, nodding along to whatever he was saying. Jinhee was at Yuta-san’s other side, holding onto his hand. Yuta-san looked at her, asking her something. Seeing Yuta-san interact with kids older than Taiyo gave Taeyong an idea of the future, one year from now or ten. Gentle, patient, and kind with a warm smile.

“He’s nicer than you described.”

Taeyong jumped in his spot. He turned and found his sister in the kitchen entryway. “I’ve learned it’s easier when I lower your expectations.”

“Geez, is it so bad that I want the best for my little brother?” Jeonghui grinned and crossed her arms over her stomach. “So how was it?”

“How was what?”

She nodded her head in his direction. “All of that. God, couldn’t he have picked a better place? Taeyong, you had a few days alone and eats you up this way?”

Taeyong felt his cheeks get warm and he readjusted Taiyo on one arm to be able to touch at his neck. When Taeyong had seen himself in the mirror, he’d been surprised by how many marks Yuta-san left. Most were easily hidden but some still peeked out from underneath his t-shirt.

“Oh, shut up. It’s not even that obvious now,” Taeyong muttered, keeping his hand over where he knew a bruise was visible. “What’s it to you anyway? You’re weird for pointing it out.”

“I’m just saying,” she replied with a shrug. Her attention moved to Taiyo. “Give me him.”

Taeyong let her take Taiyo, thankful that he was calm this time even as she kissed his face and poked his cheeks. He took a seat at the dining table and she sat across from him, eyes never leaving Taiyo. He seemed happy, eyes locked onto her face as she spoke to him.

When they arrived, Jeonghui had been the first to hold him, praising him and giving him kisses all over. He hadn’t like that at all and Taeyong felt him get stressed out. It wasn’t the meeting he expected but he’d prepared for it. Once he got Taiyo to calm down, his brother-in-law carried him. Taiyo liked him more, much to Jeonghui’s displeasure.

It’d been a relaxed few hours since then. Jeonghui helped Taeyong prepare lunch and they’d all eaten while Taiyo took a long nap. There’d been no embarrassing mishaps, which Taeyong attributed to the fact that there were kids present. 

When Taiyo woke up, Taeyong taught Kanghoon and Jinhee how to carry him since Jeonghui offered to finish cleaning up.

“He seems to like you more now.”

“Shut it,” she said. She pinched Taiyo’s cheeks and cooed. “He’s so cute.”

“Give him back if you’re going to be mean to me,” Taeyong said.

Jeonghui held Taiyo closer. “No, I was kidding. Talk all you want. You know what, tell me all about Yuta-ssi and your birthday escapades. Because it was for your birthday, right? To think we spent money on something nice to try and win you over.”

“Win me over where?” Taeyong frowned. 

“It’s an expression. How can you not―anyway, back to your story? You were saying?”

“I wasn’t saying anything. _You _ were the one assuming.” Taeyong looked at her and when she raised her eyebrows, he sighed. This was his sister. He tugged at the collar of his t-shirt, enough to show the edge of the bite. “Not on my birthday but still a recent development.”

Jeonghui gasped. “Oh, Yuta-ssi! You devil, you!”

From somewhere behind Taeyong, he heard Yuta-san quiet the kids down. “Yes?” he asked. “Did you call for me?”

Taeyong shook his head at his sister. She only smiled at him. He wasn’t sure if she’d proceed to embarrass him or spare him. “Not at all. Sorry.” Taeyong let out a sigh of relief. Jeonghui looked down at Taiyo. “Would you look at that, little Taiyo? What the heck did your parents get up to with you in the room?”

“Don’t tell him that,” Taeyong complained.

She looked at him again, narrowing her eyes. “Maybe you shouldn’t have done it then.”

Taeyong huffed. “Listen, the situation was―”

“Oh my God, you don’t need to tell me the details. Please stop.” Jeonghui held a hand up. “I have an image of a cute little brother in my head. Seeing you with those things on your neck ruins it enough.”

“You realize you’re carrying my child? My child, which I made with that guy―” Taeyong motioned to the area behind him, “―One where we had to do things to make?”

“Take him back,” Jeonghui said, standing up and rounding the table to give Taiyo back. “I can’t believe I’ve been here for less than a day and I had to endure this much already.”

She walked out of sight but he heard her call her kids, asking what they were doing. Two excited voices responded and she shushed them, asking them to return their attention to the movie. Taeyong leaned back in the chair, peering down at Taiyo.

“You didn’t understand anything she said, right?” Taeyong asked. He poked Taiyo’s nose, smiling when Taiyo’s blinked up at him. He was heavier and bigger, his face round and cute. So innocent, so pure. “I’m glad you don’t understand. I’m sorry we did that.”

“Yuta-ssi, you have some, too! What is this?” Jeonghui exclaimed.

“Have what?” Yuta-san asked back.

Taeyong sighed and met Taiyo’s eyes. “I’ll get your papa to apologize, too. Don’t worry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, but consider the different absurd amounts of new porn categories and neat kinks made possible in an ABO universe. The possibilities are endless… maybe I will explore this idea in the future.
> 
> Anyway, again, happy birthday to Taeyong! Since this fic is set in the future, he is actually celebrating his 31st birthday here! Also how weird is it to have sex with your newborn asleep in the same room? I gave him trauma before actual memories can be formed. Sorry, Taiyo! He barely appeared here, too. Another apology to Taiyo for that… 
> 
> I didn’t get to write a lot of things I wanted to in detail and even though most of this was Taeyong and Yuta, some key things were alluded to and a lot of stuff is going to start soon. Please wait patiently~
> 
> Nothing much from my end except yet another happy birthday to Taeyong. Thank you everyone for your comments and kudos and all of that fun stuff. I appreciate it all! And like always, I miss a lot of mistakes when looking this over. Maybe even more so today since it is 3 am. Forgive me.
> 
> Thank you, thank you! Please take care, everyone <3


	15. Would It Be Enough If I Could Never Give You Peace?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hi, everyone! I apologize for how long it took me to write and put this out. July was a stressful month for me (as it has been for many others) and I didn’t want to post something I put a half-hearted effort into. I actually started this chapter over about five times before coming up with this.
> 
> This chapter is one the shorter side, probably the shortest chapter so far, and while I wanted to make it a little longer, I felt I needed to end it where I did. Forgive me! And if you follow me on Twitter, you have an idea of what is coming. I warned you all I couldn’t write and here is the proof (but I gave it a sincere effort).
> 
> Today’s chapter title taken from “peace” by Taylor Swift.

Marriage was a beautiful thing.

Taeyong had always known he wanted to marry. He wanted to find someone and start a family with them. He wanted to grow old with someone by his side. He wanted to love and he wanted to be loved.

And now that it was closer, he couldn’t help but wonder if it was necessary to be married to have that.

He observed things. He observed people. Around Taeyong, there were plenty of married and almost-married people. His parents, his sister and his brother-in-law, Johnny and Christie, co-workers, and superiors whose spouses he’d met―all of them were super married and super in love. Doyoung and Mizu-chan were a little over a month away from being married and from the chattering Doyoung had done, he’d come to find out some more of their co-workers had announced engagements, all to be married in the upcoming year or so.

But what was marriage other than a label? Wasn’t staying together enough?

Maybe not. Because when Taeyong thought about it, he felt excited. Thinking about Yuta-san as his _husband _sent chills all over his body. To be tied together with someone through a vow like that was all Taeyong had wanted for a long time, even if he hadn’t always known it.

And they didn’t need approval or permission. Not when they had each other, their names falling from their lips without a second thought and their hands reaching for each other to rest in the spaces only they could fill. Two bites were hidden underneath the collars of their shirts, only revealed under the cover of darkness and still tender to the touch, were proof. Taiyo, happier and healthier with each day that passed, who was loved by them and loved them, was proof.

Now that they had him, there was little stopping them from moving onto the next step. 

Taeyong had asked Doyoung months ago how it felt to be almost married. Natural, he’d said. And even then, it had been natural with Yuta-san. There was no uneasiness between them. There had been confusion and hesitation, yes, but never uneasiness. The chaotic push-and-pull of their relationship had lulled into something more gentle, something more akin to waves kissing the shore than waves crashing against cliffs.

It was natural. It was peaceful.

And it was a puzzle of a beautiful picture only they knew the pieces of. No judgment or concerns from people around them could deter their future together. Because Yuta-san had come to know Taeyong and Taeyong had come to know Yuta-san.

He knew Yuta-san’s body in detail, from the curves of his fingers as they ran along Taeyong’s pale skin when they kissed to the way his eyes filled with adoration, seemingly twinkling with stars when he held Taiyo. He knew Yuta-san’s voice, each inflection and drawn out syllable clear in his mind when he imagined what he would say, and he had memorized the sound of Yuta-san coming home to them each night, his simple greeting said in between kisses given by the genkan. And he was familiar with Yuta-san’s scent―cinnamon when he was getting upset, pine when he was trying to calm Taiyo, and jasmine to calm Taeyong―as if it’d always been something he’d known.

Yuta-san’s presence lingered around Taeyong in many forms. Constant and grounding, like a permanent warmth around him. When Yuta-san was near, he felt happy and when they were apart, his heart longed for Yuta-san in a way it never used to. Closer, Taeyong thought, I want to be closer.

But how could he bring the subject up to Yuta-san? It was a life-changing decision to make, one they shouldn’t make lightly. Yuta-san said they should be considering it but Taeyong knew it was all on him. Yuta-san had been ready to marry from the start, it seemed. And as Yuta-san had said before, now that they had Taiyo, fixing everything to form a proper family was something they should speak about.

Doyoung wasn’t convinced. It was a little disheartening but Taeyong understood his reasoning to some extent.

“I just think those things are superficial,” Doyoung said, flicking away a crumb from his shirt. It was a calm response. He met Taeyong’s eyes. “You’re a proper family already. If Yuta-san and you are okay now, what’s the rush to marry? What else do you need? Isn’t staying together enough?”

Taeyong frowned. “Then why are _you_ getting married, if marriage is just something superficial?”

At this, Doyoung paused. He blinked a few times and broke eye contact. “I see,” he said. “I was wrong to say that. Sorry.”

Doyoung was honest and Taeyong appreciated it. The way he stayed calmed was helpful when Taeyong was overwhelmed with feelings. He took his time to process what he was given and never reacted immediately. It could be difficult to figure out Doyoung’s feelings but after so many years, Taeyong was able to pick up on the little things that gave him away. Such as the way he was picking at a loose thread on his sleeve, his lips in a straight line, and eyes a little darker than before as he stared down at it. There was something he was worried about.

“What are you thinking?” Taeyong asked.

“I said you’d get married in four months, right before you met Yuta-san. If you remember that.” Doyoung paused in his actions and turned back up to Taeyong. “We didn’t know Yuta-san then and it was a half-hearted attempt at a joke. I didn’t think it would be serious.”

“You didn’t think I’d be able to have a serious relationship?”

“That’s not what I said, Taeyong.” Doyoung frowned. “I like Yuta-san, I do. He’s becoming a good friend of mine, you know that. But I’m still allowed to have concerns as your friend. I’m your friend first. I want to look out for you.”

Taeyong leaned back in his chair. “I don’t need you to look out for me constantly. I’m not the child you think I am. I’m perfectly capable of thinking and deciding things for myself. I appreciate the sentiment, Doyoung, truly. It’s just, don’t you think―”

“I know what you’re capable of, Taeyong. And I don’t think you’re a child at all.” Doyoung’s expression softened and he reached out, placing a hand over Taeyong’s and squeezing lightly. “I don’t know the details between you two and I don’t want to question your decisions that way. But think about it. Is marriage such a pressing issue that you have to decide now, at this moment?”

Before Taeyong could respond, another voice came from near the genkan. “Oh.” Doyoung and Taeyong turned. Yuta-san stood there, his bag in one hand and his coat in the other. “I’m home. Doyoung-san, good evening.”

“Welcome home,” Taeyong said.

“Good evening, Yuta-san,” Doyoung replied. Taeyong saw Yuta-san staring at something and followed his gaze, landing on his and Doyoung’s hands. Slowly, Doyoung pulled back as he cleared his throat. “I came to give Taeyong some souvenirs from a few co-workers. I was just about to leave.”

Taeyong looked back at Yuta-san, watching how his eyes flickered from the spot on the table to Doyoung’s face. “Ah, that’s unfortunate.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Doyoung stood and Taeyong followed. “It was nice seeing you, Yuta-san.”

“Yeah. Let’s get dinner sometime, with Mizuho-san. I said I owed you, right?”

Doyoung seemed to relax and a small smile formed on his face. “Right. We’ll set that up soon then.”

Yuta-san stepped aside and Taeyong followed Doyoung into the genkan, tugging at the ends of his sleeves as Doyoung switched out the slippers for his shoes. He smoothed down his shirt with a sigh and met Taeyong’s eyes, something serious in them.

“He takes care of you well,” he said. Taeyong opened his mouth to say something but Doyoung continued, weakly raising a hand to stop him. “And I know you’re also good at giving love back but sometimes, it’s a little… well, in any case, think about it, Taeyong. Alright?”

“I will.” Taeyong bit down on his bottom lip. After another moment, he reached around Doyoung to open the front door. “Thank you for coming to drop everything off. Please send my thanks to Shiori-san and Nagase-kun.”

“Say good night to Haechan for me.” Doyoung smiled, putting his hand on Taeyong’s shoulder. “Have a good night.” 

“Say hey to Mizu-chan for us.”

Doyoung let go and stepped out. He disappeared, his footsteps fading down the hall. Taeyong heard the bing of the elevator and closed the front door quietly. He held onto the doorknob and rested his forehead against the door, feeling the cool wood against his skin.

Think about it? Were they rushing this? Taeyong had felt confident but he couldn’t deny he felt more unsure after speaking with Doyoung. Yuta-san was good at giving love. He never once made Taeyong doubt the feelings he had. His affection was given in private these days but his words of affirmation never ceased. Taeyong had always wanted to be with someone who was a little bit more romantic than he was, and Yuta-san was. He was attentive, honest, gentle… he was perfect.

“What did Doyoung-san say that you’re hiding in the genkan like this?”

Taeyong jumped, turning around so his back was against the front door now. He stared at Yuta-san standing across him, hands behind his back. “Yuta-san, you scared me.”

“Sorry.” Yuta-san tilted his head. “So?”

“Doyoung didn’t say anything.” He eyed Yuta-san for a moment. There was something mischievous about his smile. “What are you hiding?”

Yuta-san brought his hands to the front, offering a bag. “I stopped by the conbini and found these. You liked this kind, right? They’re not the same thing your mom brought though.”

Taeyong took the offered bag. “Oh,” he said. They were sweet potato chips. Yuta-san was right: it wasn’t the same thing his mother brought. Taeyong preferred the cubes over chips but― “I do like these. Thanks.”

How simple Yuta-san was in showing his way of caring for Taeyong. He was much more thoughtful than Taeyong had initially thought when they first met. He went out of his way to find little things about Taeyong and remembering them, taking him by surprise. Something as small as this. He did it so naturally. And Taeyong…

“Taeyong?”

“Sorry.” Taeyong tried his best to smile. “We can share these after dinner.”

Yuta-san stepped closer and Taeyong held his breath for a moment before exhaling deeply. “What’s going on?” he asked.

It was hard to look at Yuta-san when his eyes were wide with genuine concern. Why?

Taeyong looked at every part of his face except for his eyes. Yuta-san seemed to notice his avoidance because he raised a hand to hold his jaw, his thumb running over his cheekbone. Finally, Taeyong met Yuta-san’s gentle gaze. “Yuta-san, kiss me,” he whispered.

Yuta-san seemed taken aback but he obliged. He moved his hand to hold Taeyong’s chin with his thumb and index finger, and Taeyong closed his eyes, waiting. It was a short kiss, just a press of their lips for a few seconds. As Yuta-san pulled back, Taeyong opened his eyes, seeing how Yuta-san also opened his eyes. His eyelashes fluttered as he blinked a few times. Then his eyes crinkled when he smiled.

“I didn’t get to greet you properly a moment ago so…” Yuta-san kissed him once more. “I’m―” And again. “―Home.”

“Welcome home,” Taeyong said, not able to stop himself from smiling. “Taiyo is still sleeping but he should wake up soon. I have dinner on the stove so it’ll be ready soon.”

“I’ll get him and come help you, okay?”

Taeyong nodded and Yuta-san smiled again. He swiped his thumb over Taeyong’s bottom lip before letting him go and turning away to leave the genkan. Taeyong stood in place for a moment before he was able to move and head for the kitchen.

Yuta-san was so natural in his affection. It was comforting and even when it was unexpected, Taeyong welcomed it. Doyoung was right when he said Yuta-san was good at giving love. And when he’d said Taeyong was also good at giving love… there had been a big ‘but’.

Taeyong knew himself better than anyone else. He was better at receiving than giving, and he preferred it that way, too. He would struggle to accept it but in the end, it was much easier than returning love. There was little need for him to be vulnerable if he accepted love.

Was that okay? If he couldn’t give Yuta-san the same amount back, would that be enough? What if Yuta-san got tired of always giving and never receiving?

Taeyong never gave enough back. He knew that is what Doyoung wanted to say. And more than that, Taeyong’s insecurities could bury him underneath mountains of self-doubt and negative thoughts. He needed to be pulled out from the downward spiral he went into during those times. He needed to be given more and more to be reassured. It was tiring and often unexpected. He’d never been this way growing up but when he moved to Japan, things changed quickly.

It would be easy to blame Fuma. Taeyong never had his heart broken like that and it would be easy to say it was Fuma’s fault. Or he could blame some faceless stranger he spent a drunken night with and the failed attempts at dating that followed when he got tired of sleeping with people who didn’t interest him. Months and months of trying to find something to fill the space that turned into years before he had given up. And still, it went far beyond that.

Something twisted deep inside him, making him feel uneasy. What was it?

“Taeyong?” Yuta-san’s voice was quiet from behind Taeyong and he heard the soft gurgles Taiyo let out. “Are you okay?”

The uneasy feeling went away and Taeyong gathered the courage to turn around. He stared at Yuta-san for a moment. Taiyo was in his arms, cradled against his chest. Yuta-san had changed out his suit for something more comfortable. It was a familiar sight now. Each day Taiyo was a little bigger but it was the same thing. It made Taeyong feel the same way every time.

“I’m okay.” He crossed the space between them and reached for Taiyo. Yuta-san let him take him. “Ah, hi, baby. Are you still sleepy? You are, huh?”

Taiyo blinked up at him and then brought his small fists to his mouth. Taeyong smiled, bringing a hand up to trace his round face before carefully tugging at his wrist to bring his hands out of his mouth. His eyes were bright and his silly, toothless grin was a sight Taeyong would never get tired of. 

Over the last several weeks, Taeyong fell more and more in love with Taiyo. He had worried if he’d be able to do this but it was natural. This was Taiyo, his son who he loved and who loved him back. It was easy for Taeyong to pour his heart and soul into giving Taiyo affection. It was so, so easy. It made him feel at peace.

“Do you want me to serve dinner?” Yuta-san asked.

Taeyong looked back up. Yuta-san’s expression was soft and Taeyong wondered if he imagined the pink color that dusted across his cheekbones. “Yeah, if you would. I’ll feed Taiyo.” He broke eye contact with Yuta-san to look back down at Taiyo. “Let’s go eat, shall we?”

Yuta-san began to serve what Taeyong had been cooking. It was a simple stew he’d put on a few hours earlier and some simple side dishes. Taeyong stayed in the kitchen, leaning against one of the empty counters, Taiyo cradled against his chest. He warmed a bottle up and brought it up to Taiyo’s mouth. It was quiet, only the sounds of clinking utensils against dishes and Taiyo eating filling the air.

Taeyong kept his eyes on Yuta-san. He had his back turned to Taeyong, giving him a view of his wide shoulders but the shape of his body was hidden underneath the bagginess of the t-shirt he wore. Yuta-san wasn’t that much bigger than Taeyong but he looked like he was sometimes. He appeared stronger and more capable.

As expected of an alpha, Taeyong thought.

A kind and caring alpha who would protect his family and take care of them. That is who Yuta-san was. A father… a partner.

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong said.

“Hm?”

Why wouldn’t Taeyong want this? Why couldn’t he want this right now? The inexplicable uneasiness that haunted Taeyong for years prior had gone away when he met Yuta-san. There was no other person who had made him feel this way. And if he was honest with himself, he didn’t think there ever would be another person who did this for him. Taeyong wanted to be with Yuta-san forever. And it scared him. It was terrifying but if he thought about it, there was no other way he would want to live. If it wasn’t Yuta-san’s voice calling to him or his hands on his skin; if it wasn’t Yuta-san coming home to them; if it wasn’t Yuta-san he fell asleep beside and woke up to, Taeyong wasn’t sure he would want it.

Taeyong used to think he’d be with Fuma forever but if he thought about their relationship now, they never would have lasted past their university years. And when Taeyong thought of the men he tried to have serious relationships with in more recent years, he could never picture being with them for long. Even if he realized his urge to marry earlier, the idea wasn’t entertaining or appealing if it had to be one of them.

And then there was Nakamoto Yuta. 

Nakamoto Yuta, who was turning back to look at him with a questioning gaze. “Taeyong?”

Taeyong blinked a few times, feeling a knot form in his throat. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and dropped his gaze to Taiyo. He was nearly finished and from the way his eyes were beginning to droop, he’d be asleep soon once again.

“Nothing,” Taeyong said, shaking his head. He carefully pulled the bottle away from Taiyo, setting it aside and grabbing the small cloth wipe to clean his face. “Taiyo finished eating so I’m going to change him and put him down again.”

“Okay.” Yuta-san smiled and Taeyong held his breath. “I’ll take all this to the table. Go and come back.”

* * *

Taeyong liked the way Yuta-san made him feel. He reveled in the attention he received. Hr would admit it was different before. Taeyong was distant because he was hesitant but now he’d never been more sure of something. And the bite mark near his collarbone didn’t help him much either. Not quite mates yet but close enough that Taeyong felt the connection between him and Yuta-san, between them and Taiyo. It was reassuring.

The three of them together formed a family, a pack of their own like this.

“He’s asleep,” Yuta-san whispered, coming around the bed and getting on. He came closer. Taeyong felt Yuta-san’s cold feet against his underneath the covers and then felt two warm hands slip beneath the hem of his shirt, running up his stomach slowly and wrapping around his abdomen a moment later. He watched as Yuta-san closed his eyes, a small smile on his face. “Mmm, tomorrow is my last day.”

“And then you’ll be home for two weeks,” Taeyong whispered, propping himself up a little with one hand. He brought the other up to brush back Yuta-san’s hair before resting it against his cheek. Yuta-san hummed, leaning into Taeyong’s touch. “Do you want to do anything?”

“Let’s stay at home.” Yuta-san opened his eyes slowly, his smile widening. “I just want to rest for a moment. Be with you, with Taiyo, and not have to think about exams or assignments or rowdy students.”

“You’re tired,” Taeyong murmured, brushing over Yuta-san’s cheekbones with his thumb. Yuta-san inhaled and exhaled slowly. “We can stay here.”

“Sorry.”

“No need.”

They remained quiet for a moment but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Silences were always comfortable with Yuta-san, especially like this. There was an understanding between them and they required no words to know what the other was feeling or wanting, communicating through simple touches and looks.

Yuta-san didn’t open his eyes so Taeyong continued to look at him, finding himself once again admiring his features. Even with the lights out, only the pale light that came in from the window to help him see, Taeyong could find everything he loved. The curve of his jaw and the curl of his eyelashes. His full lips and how the color matched the natural tinge across his cheeks. The spots on his cheeks where his dimples appeared when he smiled. His skin wasn’t completely void of imperfections and Taeyong could see the stubble on Yuta-san’s chin, feel it underneath his palm. So beautiful, Taeyong thought.

The answer was obvious to Taeyong. Even if Doyoung didn’t see it. Even if Yuta-san’s parents didn’t agree with it. There would be no other man he’d ever feel this way towards again. It was Yuta-san and it had been him since the beginning.

Taeyong had fears. And he needed to admit he still had ghosts of his own. He wouldn’t blame the men he had been with in the past. He knew his fears had been long instilled into him and it was only when he began to find himself that he found they existed. And it was hard to let go. He felt it was impossible to let go.

“Yuta-san, I’ve been thinking.”

Yuta-san hummed but didn’t open his eyes. “Ah, so Doyoung-san _ did _get something into your head.”

“I’m not perfect. I never have been and I never will be. I have a lot of flaws.” Taeyong took a deep breath. Yuta-san seemed calmed, listening with his eyes still closed. “I think I’m very sensitive and it’s a little embarrassing to say but I’m the kind of person that needs a lot of attention. Even if I’ve said differently in the past, I need it more than you think.”

“Mhm.” A pause. “So…?”

“It’s a lot to handle, isn’t it?” Taeyong brought his bottom lip between his teeth, waiting for Yuta-san to say something but he stayed quiet for a few seconds. It was no reason to panic but Taeyong felt a little nervous. “I mean, it’s not like I need to be coddled like a baby. I’m not… like a baby.”

“What are you trying to say exactly, Taeyong?” Yuta-san asked. His eyes remained closed and Taeyong watched how his relaxed features got tighter. His eyebrows furrowed and his lips turned down into a slight pout. “What are you saying right now?”

“I’m telling you about me.”

“I already know about you,” Yuta-san said. He removed one of his arms from around Taeyong, his hand appearing from out of the covers. He easily found Taeyong’s face, gently cupping his jaw. “I know you, Taeyong. Trust me. I know how you are.”

Taeyong frowned. “Is it annoying? Bothersome, burdensome?”

Finally, Yuta-san opened his eyes. “None of the above,” he whispered. The moonlight caught his eyes, making him look even more ethereal than before. “I am happy I can take care of you in whichever way you need me to. I like it.”

“I’m seen as a leader like at work, I lead entire teams and run an entire department. But I’m no leader at all. I―”

Yuta-san brushed his thumb over Taeyong’s lips, hushing him. “I get it.”

“I don’t make it easy,” Taeyong said, moving into a sitting position. This was the most nerve-wracking part, he thought as he stared down at Yuta-san. “What do you think?”

“You surely don’t make it easy.” Yuta-san’s tone was teasing and Taeyong’s frown deepened. “Taeyong, I am really… really…. _ really _crazy for you. Do you think that’s easy for me? I mean it when I said I like taking care of you. If you need me, I am here. Haven’t I told you that? You’re not alone and you won’t ever be.”

Taeyong felt the weight fall off his shoulders. It was a constant reassurance. It was the comfort Yuta-san’s words brought. The love he gave with no expectations. Unwavering from the beginning and to this moment.

“You’ll be sick of me in a few years,” Taeyong tried to joke. He felt the knot in his throat return and tears were forming in his eyes. “It really won’t be easy.”

“I didn’t ask for something easy. I asked for you.” Yuta-san smiled. His hand moved to Taeyong’s bicep and squeezed. “I asked for you and everything that comes with you.”

“Then…” Taeyong swallowed hard and blinked the tears away. “Yuta, let’s get married.”

Yuta-san immediately pulled back, mouth falling open. “Taeyong, you―”

“I know what you did on Valentine’s Day. Do you still have those papers? We can fill them out properly now and tomorrow, when you come back home, we can… we can go to the municipal office and be married in the afternoon. So let’s do it.”

It was silent. Yuta-san was taken aback. Taeyong was beginning to panic but the sweet jasmine smell surrounded him in moments, bringing him back. He stared into Yuta-san’s eyes, seeing every feeling flash through them.

“What?” he finally breathed out.

“Marry me tomorrow, Yuta-san,” Taeyong said. His voice was weaker now and he could hear the insecurity in his ears. Even with Yuta-san trying to keep him calm, he was beginning to shake. “Will you?”

“It’s the middle of the night.” Yuta-san sounded shocked. He blinked a few times. “Taeyong, _what_?”

Taeyong reached out and placed his inner wrist against Yuta-san’s temple. “I know I need a lot of care, but I want to be someone who can take care of you in return. Because it can’t be anyone else, Yuta-san, please marry me.”

“You asked me to marry you _ three _ times just now.” It was slow, the way the smile on Yuta-san’s face formed, the laugh that bubbled out quietly as he pushed himself up into a sitting position to match Taeyong’s, looking around the room in disbelief before looking over at him. His laugh slowed to a stop and his expression softened. “You mean it?”

“I’d never mess around with you that way.” Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek. “We’re a bit too old for that, right? We have to be straightforward.”

“You’re hardly ever straightforward with your feelings this way.” Yuta-san leaned in, his warm breathing fanning across Taeyong’s lips. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

It was a little rough at first, Yuta-san’s hand coming to the back of Taeyong’s neck and pulling them together, but within a fraction of a second, they were moving slowly and Yuta held onto him with a tenderness that made Taeyong relax. Taeyong held onto Yuta’s bicep, squeezing tightly. He’d gotten used to kissing Yuta-san but this one was different. This one was dizzying and he felt like he was floating, everything around them disappearing for a moment. It was a hazy feeling but he felt calm, as always.

When they separated, Taeyong pressed his forehead against Yuta-san’s. He kept his eyes closed, catching his breath and enjoying the warmth that radiated off of Yuta-san, bringing him back to reality and embracing him. And then Yuta was really embracing him, wrapping his arms around Taeyong and pulling him against his chest. Taeyong felt Yuta-san’s breath against his shoulder, each heavy breath he took, so loud and so clear.

“I am in love with you,” Yuta-san said quietly. Taeyong felt the vibrations of the words against his collarbones. Yuta-san’s arms around him hugged him a little tighter. “Very, very much in love.”

“Love?” Taeyong breathed out. “With me?”

“Only you,” was the response. “And that is more than enough.”

Being with a person had never brought him more peace, he thought. Was it Yuta-san who was meant for him? Taeyong didn’t believe in soulmates but his heart had never beaten in time with another the way it did with Yuta-san’s. Looking over to the other side of the bed had never brought him joy until it was Yuta-san he was laying with and waking to. And being on the receiving end of affection hadn’t felt right unless it was Yuta-san taking his hands, kissing his lips, meeting his eyes with a gentle look only meant for him. He is in love. Love, Taeyong repeated in his mind, with me.

* * *

The night had ended with falling asleep in Yuta-san’s arms, getting only a few hours of sleep, and the day began with watching the careful and slow way Yuta-san opened his eyes, finding Taeyong’s and smiling, starting small and getting bigger, bigger.

“Marry me,” were Yuta-san’s first words in the morning. His voice was a bit hoarse and he still looked sleepy, but his eyes were still bright, Taeyong catching glimpses of how they shined in between slow blinks. “Marry me today, Lee Taeyong.”

“Okay,” Taeyong answered, unable to hold back his smile.

Yuta-san got up to prepare for work and Taeyong checked on Taiyo. It’d been a few hours since he woke up and Yuta-san checked on him. He seemed happy as Taeyong carried him and brought him up to rest against his chest. He went around the room to tidy a bit and then laid Taiyo on the bed to change him. He was quiet but wriggled around, not wanting to stay still. Eventually, Taeyong got him changed and dressed.

Momoka-san had taught Taeyong how to make a baby sling from almost anything. Thankfully, she’d bought a specific wrap for him during their visit last month. It was a little difficult to get Taiyo on his back by himself so he settled for keeping him in the front. He managed to get Taiyo safely inside the wrap, making sure it was tight and moving the fabric away from his face so he could breathe and see. He only blinked up at Taeyong, who quickly made the bed.

The morning moved quickly after that. Mornings now consisted of Yuta-san getting ready and Taeyong standing in the kitchen, feeding Taiyo. Yuta-san would eventually come out and prepare himself breakfast for them, Taeyong watching from where he usually leaned against the counter. Taiyo would finish and Taeyong would burp him and lay him back down while they had breakfast.

Taiyo was fussier today but Taeyong made his nest a little comfier and was able to leave the room without him bursting into tears. Yuta-san was already been at the table, drinking his coffee. Taeyong sat down and looked at him for a moment, wondering.

It was a different feeling. Unlike yesterday morning, there was more excitement in the air. When Taeyong met Yuta-san’s eyes over the rim of his mug, it felt like they had a secret, something only they knew. And it was something only they knew. Yuta-san’s foot brushed Taeyong’s underneath the table, both of them looking away with shy smiles and crimson blooming over their cheeks. A tension so thick, so palpable, Taeyong was shaking in his seat, looking and turning away, wanting to see Yuta-san but not being able to without his heart aching in an unexplainable way.

Saying goodbye for the day had been harder than usual as well. Taeyong brought Taiyo back out and the two of them waited in the genkan entrance, watching Yuta-san as he put on his shoes and fixed his clothes. Taeyong held onto the lapel of his suit jacket for a moment longer, a little harder, keeping him back long enough to press a second, third, fourth kiss to his lips. Yuta-san’s smile was still timid.

“Not in front of Taiyo,” he whispered against Taeyong’s lips though he closed the space between them one last time. He pulled back and kissed Taiyo’s forehead again before looking back up at Taeyong. “You remember what I told you, right?”

Taeyong nodded. “In the second drawer, all the way at the bottom.”

Yuta-san grinned again and left for the day.

It’d been hours since then. As excited as Taeyong was, he had things to do. He cleaned up the table and washed the dishes. There was a little laundry to be done but he’d finished quickly while Taiyo took another nap before waking up in the late morning. Taeyong played with him for a little, stretching his little arms and legs out, laughing as he wriggled around and gurgled.

But once he got Taiyo down to sleep again after lunch, Taeyong finally made his way to the nightstand. Second drawer, all the way at the bottom. And like Yuta-san said, there it was. The marriage registration forms from months ago.

Taeyong nearly let go of the papers, feeling himself start to shake again. It was partially filled out, just as Taeyong had seen it in February. He stood up and glanced over at Taiyo, sound asleep in the bassinet. With a few shaky breaths, he stepped out of the room and went into the main room, sitting at the dining table.

He read through it once. Twice. A third and final time. Yuta-san’s side was filled out neatly. There weren’t many things to fill out in reality and knowing that something so easy to fill out could get them married the moment they turned it in was a little frightening. When he stood to find a pen, Taeyong kept looking back to the table. He knew there were different applications, some made to look more festive and romantic, but Yuta-san had filled out a basic one. It was not festive and it was not cute or pretty. 

Taeyong sat down. The click of the pen was deafening in the silence and he was scared to bring it down to touch the paper. This form had been waiting for months now, sitting at the bottom of a drawer. And Yuta-san had been waiting too, with the hopes that Taeyong wanted this as much as he did. And Taeyong wanted it.

He wanted it so bad.

It took a minute to steady his hand enough to write his name in the box. He felt ridiculous having to check and double-check his birthday and the names of his parents. As he wrote in his address, he noticed that on Yuta-san’s side, the same thing was written. Even though Yuta-san had filled it in before he moved in, he’d already written the apartment’s address. 

Taeyong shook the thought away, not wanting to wonder about what could’ve gone through Yuta-san’s mind at the time. Instead, he filled out the rest, his hand shaking less as he went. A few things about his job and things regarding the marriage. The second page was for their witnesses so he left that alone.

Re-reading it, Taeyong noticed one very important part. It was about the family registry and the registered domicile. Oh.

He had no choice but to leave it at that. When Yuta-san returned, he would have to speak to him about it. As a single individual, Taeyong had his family registry with himself and Taiyo. It had taken a bit of paperwork to get Taiyo on it since he was born when they weren’t married. So would Yuta-san move to Taeyong’s family registry or make a new one? And more importantly, how could they get Yuta-san off his family’s registry?

A heavy feeling climbed to Taeyong’s shoulders. Perhaps getting married wasn’t as easy as it seemed. But if Yuta-san was prepared, he would already have a plan, right? He would’ve thought ahead. He would’ve known.

Was Doyoung right? Did they have to rush this?

A cry broke Taeyong out of his thoughts. The chair’s legs scraped the floor as he stood and hurried to the bedroom. Taiyo’s cries got softer and when Taeyong brought him up to his chest, he hushed down to only sniffles, small hands clutching onto Taeyong’s t-shirt.

Taeyong sighed, carefully wiping away the tears on Taiyo’s round cheeks. His skin was soft and the natural blush across his cheeks made him devastatingly cute. He was still so small, so innocent.

“Tell me,” Taeyong whispered, “Did we mess everything up for you by not listening to your grandparents?”

It felt like a slap in the face to know that maybe Yuta-san’s mother had a point by saying they should’ve been married before Taiyo was born. She knew they would face this problem. And she had been willing then. Would she not be now? They couldn’t keep Yuta-san on the family registry if Yuta-san didn’t want to be on there but to get everything in place, they would have to inform Yuta-san’s family of the marriage.

Another sigh.

Taiyo blinked up at him, still a little teary-eyed but quiet now. Taeyong felt guilt seep into his bones. He hadn’t done right by Taiyo despite trying his best. He was to blame for the situation now. If he hadn’t waited… if he hadn’t hesitated… things would’ve been as they should be already.

Taeyong was silent as he left the bedroom with Taiyo, who was beginning to whine, already hungry. There was an unusual feeling as he prepared a bottle. Instead of staying in the kitchen, he sat on the sofa in the living room, turning to the glass doors that led to the balcony.

The summer sun streamed in, the light hitting the other side of the room. Taeyong stared at the wall across, inspecting the things they had. Even though the things on the shelves had changed very little, it was different. A picture from a vacation Taeyong had taken long ago was now a picture of Yuta-san and his sisters at Haruna-san’s graduation a few years ago. A small potted plant was replaced with a small keepsake Yuta-san had, one of the only things he had from his family home in Osaka. Slight changes but enough. It was enough.

Would it have been better if they had gotten married earlier?

Most likely, he thought. It left a bitter taste in his mouth. Yuta-san’s parents were right. And they hadn’t listened.

There was a small hope that Yuta-san’s family would congratulate them and say nothing else about it. Taeyong wondered what the chances of that happening were. Low, very low. His parents already disliked Taeyong for luring Yuta-san into his life this way. This wouldn’t make them like him more.

In his arms, Taiyo let out a small grunt and Taeyong pulled the bottle away. He was finished already. Taeyong brought him up and patted his back for a minute until he heard a small burp. Taiyo would be awake for a little longer now before taking yet another nap. Taeyong couldn’t be distracted now.

He pushed the thoughts aside, holding Taiyo in front of him. He put on his best smile. “Let’s stretch, shall we?”

* * *

“We need a copy of the family registry,” Yuta-san said regretfully.

“I thought as much.” Taeyong sighed. “I’m sorry we couldn’t go down to the municipal office today.”

Yuta-san smiled. Even though this was happening, he smiled. “We can go next week. I’ll go down to Osaka and get a copy of it. Once we have that, it’ll be easy. We can figure the rest out then.”

“And your parents?”

At this, Yuta-san hesitated. “I’ll speak to them while I’m there.”

That didn’t feel right. “No, I―” Taeyong sighed. “Let us go with you.”

“Taeyong, you know my parents―”

“We’re adults, Yuta-san. And besides, I’m sure your sisters would like to see Taiyo again. And… and, if it’s possible, Taiyo can at least see his grandparents once. If they don’t want to see him, then fine, but at least we can say we tried, right?”

“You’re right.” Yuta-san looked at Taiyo in his arms. “At least we can say we tried.”

Yuta-san was different with Taiyo. It was the sweet smile, the gentle way of handling him, the hush-hush of his voice, the sparkling of his eyes―so much adoration for Taiyo, hardly contained by Yuta-san’s body. It was beautiful to Taeyong. More and more, he wanted to see Yuta-san with Taiyo like this. Forever, or at least until the day Taiyo pushed them away, too embarrassed to receive love from either of them. Because it’s what Taiyo needed to have and what he deserved to experience.

“But how could they not want to see you? Love you?” Yuta-san asked Taiyo, who only giggled back in response. Yuta-san smiled warmly, kissing his cheeks. “Someone as bright as you, who could deny that?”

Taeyong’s heart clenched in his chest. Yuta-san seemed calm, even if it would be a messy situation going to Osaka and speaking to his family. Taeyong had no way of knowing how Yuta-san felt if he never allowed himself to slip up. Could it be that Yuta-san was pretending? What unrest troubled Yuta-san’s heart at this moment? And could Taeyong help relieve it?

“Yuta-san,” Taeyong whispered. Yuta-san turned away from Taiyo to meet his gaze. As open as he seemed with Taiyo, Taeyong could see it now. Yuta-san was guarding himself, just as he thought. Taeyong had been so focused on keeping Yuta-san out, he hadn’t thought to learn how to open Yuta-san up. “I―sorry. I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

It was quiet for a moment. The excitement from the morning had gone, replaced with a different kind of tension. A few more minutes and Yuta-san stood, motioning to Taiyo in his arms. Taeyong nodded, watching him go, speaking to Taiyo quietly. And then the silence came again.

Taeyong had never been okay in silence’s company. It allowed his mind to wander to the worst parts, the parts he didn’t want to pay attention to. The silent taunting and mocking. He’d learned how to ignore it, having gone years alone, but the last ten months saw him freeing himself from those things, letting Yuta-san in and finding something good for him. So now when he had the face the silence head-on, it came at him full force.

He wondered if Yuta-san had similar ghosts, coming out in the silence. And then he berated himself for never asking, never noticing. Yuta-san must have been carrying a heavy burden all the while Taeyong felt at ease, never truly considering the ramifications that came with this comfort provided to him.

Taeyong always thought things through so why hadn’t he this time? Had he been so blinded by everything to see Yuta-san and how he felt beyond the romance?

He sat in the silence for a while. Yuta-san came back out quietly, taking his seat across Taeyong at the table again. Taeyong avoided his eyes. Still, he felt Yuta-san’s stare, burning holes into his side.

“Here,” Yuta-san finally said. He placed something on the table and pushed it over to Taeyong. “I promised you.”

Taeyong didn’t look. Instead, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yuta-san, I realized how much you’ve given me. I’ve hardly given you anything.”

“Should I be repaid for giving my love to you? I ask nothing from you, Taeyong.”

Something burned in Taeyong’s throat. He opened his eyes and slammed his hand against the tabletop. “Ask me for something,” he demanded, his tone harsher than he intended. As he looked at Yuta-san’s face, he realized the last thing he deserved was to be yelled at. “Yuta, please just ask me for something. Because I don’t want you to hold back from me. I can take it. Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”

Yuta-san seemed unfazed by Taeyong’s raised voice but his expression was still guarded, hiding something and it was beginning to eat at Taeyong’s mind. “I could never ask for more than what you’ve already given me,” Yuta-san said. “But if you insist, I do have one thing to ask.”

“Anything,” Taeyong breathed.

Yuta-san’s hand moved and then Taeyong looked down at what he had set down. It was the last thing he expected.

“I ask that you let me take care of you for as long as I can. Until the day I die, if possible.” Yuta-san huffed out a small laughed. “In other words, I’m properly asking you to marry me.”

Taeyong held his breath. It was simple in design. No extra ornaments. A clean, thin silver band. Something so small and simple but thousands of thoughts, words, and meanings behind it. The ring Yuta-san had promised Taeyong months ago. He had never seen it before.

“But―”

“You asked me three times. Isn’t it only fair I ask the same amount of times today?”

Twice in the morning, Taeyong remembered. And once now. Three times.

“And you―”

“Can I put it on you?”

Taeyong stuttered and his face grew warm but he nodded, looking down at his hands. He never wore jewelry on his hands. But this was… this…

Yuta-san stood and came around the table. He reached down to take Taeyong’s hand and motioned for him to stand as well. Taeyong did, turning his body to face Yuta-san but he kept his eyes on their hands. Yuta-san held onto his hand carefully and when Taeyong looked closer, he could see the slight shake to them.

Taeyong spread his fingers out, watching as Yuta-san slipped the silver band on. It was a strange feeling and an even stranger sight for him. His breath caught in his throat as he admired the ring. When he exhaled, it came out a bit choked and then he laughed. Taeyong closed his fingers into a fist, feeling the band against his other fingers. It was new and unusual but something he could get used to. It was something he wanted to get used to.

“Look away,” Taeyong whispered. His voice was already shaking and he could feel tears forming as he blinked. “Look away, Yuta-san.”

“I have something more to ask,” Yuta-san said.

Taeyong looked at him, vision blurred by the tears. Still, he could see Yuta-san, take everything in. He was taken aback by his expression. So open, so honest. So unlike before. “Anything,” he managed to say.

“Please drop the formalities with me,” Yuta-san said seriously.

And Taeyong laughed again. The tears began to slide down his cheeks and before Yuta-san could say anything, Taeyong embraced him, holding him tightly. He felt the warmth of Yuta-san’s body against him and he was positive he would be able to feel the pounding of his heart if he tried. Taeyong hid his face in the space by Yuta-san’s neck. Yuta-san returned the embrace and Taeyong felt him kiss the side of his head.

“Yuta, from now on…” Taeyong paused to take a deep breath. “Even if it’s not what we planned, I think we got married just now. Isn’t that right?”

Yuta. Yuta. And only Yuta.

“That’s right.”

“And it’s okay?” Taeyong swallowed the knot in his throat. “Because from now on, I’m going to be even more unbearable.”

“You think I’m going to be any better?” His voice was right by his ear and his lips ghosted over it. “Don’t worry, Taeyong. This is more than enough.”

A moment of silence.

“I am so in love with you.”

And for the first time in the months they’d been together, Taeyong let himself feel it, think it. For the first time in his entire life, he was confident in this. He’d never stopped to realize if previous feelings were as true as the ones he felt course through him now and he realized now that they weren’t and never were. Because this was it.

Even if there were more obstacles to face, the puzzle only they knew the pieces of was beginning to form a beautiful picture, one Taeyong had always wanted to see. And it wouldn’t be long until they completed it.

No more hiding or hesitation from now on with Yuta. Taeyong would learn to love and care for Yuta in a way only he could. With all the strength of his feelings, he would give it all to Yuta. For everything Yuta had done and for everything he would do, Taeyong would give and give. He would learn how to give, give, and give until he could no more because he’d never been able to do so for anyone else in his life. Because Yuta deserved to receive as much as he gave, if not more.

Because there was no changing the fact of the matter for Taeyong. He was the same as Yuta.

He was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong: I am not a baby.  
Me: Yes, you are a baby, baby.
> 
> Anyway, it is very nice to be loved but it is also nice to give love. 
> 
> And speaking of love, I am always so surprised by the amount of love and support this fic gets! A super, super big thank you to everyone who is reading, commenting, leaving kudos, leaving me messages and ranting about it in my DMs, and recommending this to their friends, and all the super awesome stuff―I sincerely appreciate it! I am unable to express the love in my heart when I hear/see these things!
> 
> And I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this chapter. They’re like... only married in theory but not in practice, something like that? Also, WTF, Taeyong dropped the -san like it was nothing now... the moment everyone has been waiting for for the last 14 chapters. Good riddance.
> 
> And signing off as always: please excuse any mistakes I might’ve left in this chapter. I hope everyone is doing well and taking care of themselves. Please stay happy, healthy, and hydrated. Until next time! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Here's where to find me and send me messages! [tumblr](https://taeyong-san.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/taeyongsan) | [cc](https://curiouscat.me/taeyongsan)


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